Why Do Successful Black Men Tend to Date/Marry Light-Skinned Black Women

Many successful Black men tend to date and/or marry light-skinned Black women for  myriad reasons.
Many successful Black men tend to date and/or marry light-skinned Black women for myriad reasons.
(1) Many successful Black men view light-skinned Black women as more genteel and refined.They are viewed as symbols of upward mobility.
(1) Many successful Black men view light-skinned Black women as more genteel and refined.They are viewed as symbols of upward mobility.
(2) They are viewed as more beautiful and feminine.They also are near the Caucasian societal standard of beauty.
(2) They are viewed as more beautiful and feminine.They also are near the Caucasian societal standard of beauty.
The successful Black man also sees the light-skinned Black woman as the ULTIMATE STATUS/SUCCESS SYMBOL to show to his friends and associates that he has made it.
The successful Black man also sees the light-skinned Black woman as the ULTIMATE STATUS/SUCCESS SYMBOL to show to his friends and associates that he has made it.
Many successful Black men come from affluent socioeconomic backgrounds where rules regarding dating/marriage are stressed.Colorism also plays a part in such rules and family standards.
Many successful Black men come from affluent socioeconomic backgrounds where rules regarding dating/marriage are stressed.Colorism also plays a part in such rules and family standards.
Some successful Black men, who come from more impoverished backgrounds, once they become more affluent, tend to avoid dating dark-skinned Black women who remind him of his impoverished origins.Light-skinned Black women,to him,signify success/arrival.
Some successful Black men, who come from more impoverished backgrounds, once they become more affluent, tend to avoid dating dark-skinned Black women who remind him of his impoverished origins.Light-skinned Black women,to him,signify success/arrival.

Why Successful Black Men Gravitate Towards Light-Skinned Black Women

Despite the immense advances made by Blacks in academic and socioeconomic spheres, there seems to be a preponderance of successful Black men either dating, cohabiting with, or marrying light-skinned Black women. Why is this? Aren't there any highly successful and upwardly mobile darker-skinned Black women? Of course, there are.

Many Black men, especially successful ones, view light-skinned Black women as goddesses and royalty. Many successful Black men furthermore view the light-skinned Black woman as more cultured and more Caucasian-appearing hence her being the perfect companion. Many successful Black men date and/or marry light-skinned Black women in order to be accepted by their professional associates and friends.

To the successful Black male, the light-skinned Black woman is seen as a status symbol to show off to their friends and associates how successful he is. The light-skinned Black woman represents the idea of upward mobility. Also the light-skinned Black woman approximates the Caucasian ideal female and is viewed as more genteel and less threatening than her darker-skinned sisters.

Many successful Black men often come from middle class, upper middle class, and/or more affluent families socioeconomically. Within some of these families, there is a pronounced colorism mandating which skn color is socially acceptable and unacceptable. Furthermore many elite Black families look negatively upon their family members dating anyone darker than their respective skin color group. Conversely, some successful Black men, who grew up in poverty, wanted to escape from all the trappings of poverty by becoming economically successful. Many Black successful men believe that with their economic success, they want to achieve the ultimate symbol of success by marrying the light-skinned Black woman.

Even at the present time, fashion and entertainment media categorizes the light-skinned Black woman as more beautiful and elite than the darker-skinned Black woman. When one sees pictures of successful Black men in magazines and newspapers, often enough, he has either a light-skinned Black girlfriend and/or wife. This action was more endemic in the past when the majority of successful Black men dated and/or married a light-skinned Black woman to announce his upwardly mobile status. It is a minute few successful Black men who date and/or marry darker-skinned Black women. Some successful Black men refuse to date and/or marry darker-skinned Black women as they would remind him of his origins.

The light-skinned Black woman is oftentimes seen as a trophy and the ultimate prize to be had by the successful Black male. The light-skinned Black woman is viewed by many successful Black men as classy, feminine, and venerable. She represents a combination of Venus and Juno to many Black men. Subconsciously, despite the relative racial enlightenment at the present time, lighter still means better, beautiful, pristine, virtuous, cultured, and more affluent whereas darker means worse, ugly, dirty, evil, and less affluent.

In conclusion, successful Black men tend to date and/or marry light-skinned Black women because such women represent the aura of affluence and refinement. Also, such women are near the acceptable societal representation of beauty than their dark-skinned counterpart. Oftentimes, light-skinned Black women are considered to be the ultimate prize and trophy to the successful Black man. To many successful Black men, the light-skinned Black woman is as near Caucasian as he go on if he wishes to remain within the race.

Many successful Black men come from families where classism and colorism are strongly emphasized. Such men are strongly admonished by families to date and/or marry appropriately. In other words, they must date and/or marry women within their particular class and respective skin color. If they date and/or marry someone of a darker skin color, they are oftentimes derided by their family members. Light skinned Black women are also considered to be the feminine ideal while their dark-skinned counterparts are considered to be less feminine.

Each man has the unmitigated right to his individual preference, including skin color. However, there is no one skin color more acceptable and beautiful than the other. Skin color should never be the main and prime indicator for relationships. People should date and/or marry each other for intellectual, emotional, and/or spiritual characteristics, not skin color.


© 2010 Grace Marguerite Williams

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Comments 43 comments

Right Black profile image

Right Black 5 years ago from Huntington Beach, California

gmwilliams, I have to say that you don't really understand men. Men date women first and foremost because they find them attractive physically. Most men might date a woman that is as dumb as a bag of nails if she is good looking. Good looking means good for sex. We may find dark, light or white skin appealing or all of the above but when we decide to marry it is because the woman is our soul mate and nothing less. If a man is truly successful this is his reasoning not the pigmentation of the woman's skin.


Mila G. 5 years ago

Racist with their own race, typical. They feel so bad about how they look because the white media has sold them that it isn't good, so he tries to escape from it. That is even more stupid that white racist people, though every racist person is wrong and someday they will know the truth. God loves us all.


htodd profile image

htodd 5 years ago from United States

Thanks great post..nice


Angryanimal 5 years ago

First of all, the ultimate trophy is a white woman, not some half breed octaroon. When the white woman is ravaged with all the built up hate and niger lust only a slave could have then is the slave truly free. When you rape, defacate and vandalize the slave owners daughter/wife then you are truly free. The best way to get over your insecurity is todestroy that which is superior. It isnot a coincidence that Colin ferguson, nat turner, oj Simpson are heroes of the blackcommunity.


Levertis Steele profile image

Levertis Steele 4 years ago from Southern Clime

Is the general explanation for black men mostly preferring light-skinned women the same as white men who seem to prefer white skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes? Maybe that "syndrome" is a man's thing.

I think that the concern about black men's preference of light skin is so newsy because white men want them to lay off white women.

Have you paid attention to the women most light-skinned black men marry? It is interesting.


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 4 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

Certainly have, it is indeed very interesting!


Levertis Steele 3 years ago

If Black men ignored light-skinned Black women, they would still hear the yakking, and be called racists within their own race. Danged if they do and danged if they don't! I suppose some individuals just enjoy criticizing, judging, and condemning as a hobby.


Levertis Steele profile image

Levertis Steele 3 years ago from Southern Clime

Most successful women in successful Black men's circle are light skinned, especially celebrities. I have noticed that women of any race tend to be lighter than the men. Maybe it is true that "Opposites attract."


ngureco profile image

ngureco 3 years ago

In some Africa cultures, long before the Africans people had known the existence of white people, a lighter-skinned black girl fetched a higher “pride price” than a darker-skinned black girl. In Africa, having a lighter skin may have looked unique and rare, and by the law of supply and demand, the lighter-skinned black girl may have tended to ask for a higher “bride price”. Genetically, this may have influenced the African people to believe that a lighter-skinned black girl will produce offspring that have a better chances of successful survival – in that the offspring will easily get a partner to marry and to carry-on into the future making more and more attractive babies.


tonya hardy 3 years ago

wow its interesting to learn about our black men and what they think


sebastian 3 years ago

This is gonna sound crazy, but people tend to like people who like them 8'0. It's not just a skin thing, it's not color-ism, or even family for that matter. A guy will turn his back on the world for the right girl. When you fall for someone, it all starts somewhere. For men it's starts with looks. we are 90% visual... at first.

Race is not the issue. Demeanor is, it's not just the media, but women themselves who perpetuate the stereotypes. a decent amount of black women (light or dark) generally do show their behinds, or act aggressively to their own race as well as any other lol. As well as a lot of Caucasian women as well as Asian women do act more passive/submissive. I believe it's due in part to their mother father relationships.

Mixed children usually have a white mother, more often than a father as most African american women don't find white males attractive for a myriad of reason. They can be tools/douchey, ridiculously lame/boring, they often ask idiotic, race inspired question and some are narcissistic or borderline racist. Physically unattractive can be thrown in there as well in some cases. We chocolate guys just look better shirtless from time to time lol.

As such, Caucasian, Asian, and mixed women are regularly subjected to an environment of a mother who is passive aggressive, old-school, or whatever you wish to call it (the whole, let a man be a man personality) which most men find very attractive. As a great deal of your temperament is inherited, this is usually the case with the children. The girls seem a bit sweeter, or submissive. Traits men find particularly irresistible.

On the other hand the average African american family, has the woman born and holding onto that fighter spirit of our ancestors. Commendable and, perfectly respectable. It's all in how you carry yourself. You don't always have to be on level 10, allow me to elaborate. There is feisty which is cute, then there is just plain ghetto or belligerent.

Many women of color cross the line of belligerent far to often. although lots of black males grow up with that, some are even use to it. Once you learn there is something else something more desirable, you're saying to yourself well... Hmm, do I deal with this chic whom honestly seems psychotic to me or do I move on to this seemingly kind, patient, sweet girl.

The choice is made for you. Often once you've matured you begin to see different variations of the black women you use to know. Rather or not you go back, it simply your choice. However, yes every man has a few likes and dislikes but it's not your color, I'll tell you that much.

Not to say that there is not an abundance of Men who come from affluent families who become arrogant and look down on their own race because there are. I know them, but it's not always the media portrayal the black community they believe.

It's often actually ourselves, sometime you need to go no further than your own reflection. The media can build whatever depiction it wishes, but if we do nothing to change it. We are no worse than the TV, or Magazines which propagate the images.

That brings me back to myself. You're probably like how would you know!? You're just some guy! Well to put it simply, I've been on both sides of the window. I was born into an affluent middle class family largely consisting African american women.

We have nearly every other race sprinkled in here and there, but we are mainly just black :) Growing up I never experienced racism... Let me finish from Caucasian people. I was ridiculed and mistreat every sinlge day by my own race. Tar-baby, midnight-blue, uncle-tom (because I spoke proper English) You look like E.T. the list goes on. Plus my name is Sebastian, so everywhere I went they sang the little mermaid song...

That wasn't that bad I secretly loved that song, but that is beside the point. The point is I was strongly attracted to Darker women, but because I was ridiculed by people, my own complexion even. I was scared for a long while, not hating myself, but hating other blacks.

What had I ever done to them to cause them to dislike me and treat me so harshly. I hated black people, and all things black as well... Rap, basketball, etc. you name it I hated, because of what it all stood for. Black people kept calling everything I did white. So flip that, and who did i identify with?

Caucasian people. They were indiscriminate. Their women adored me, cherished me. Told me I was cute, handsome, or that I looked like Tyrese lol (had no idea who the dude was until my junior year) So I started liking them.

Yet something was missing. I wasn't attracted to them they were just the easy way! So I just stopped perusing anyone. Plus I began to notice Caucasian people do a lot of subtly racist Shiznite, which I learned would annoy me to no end, but that's for a later conversation.

Any-who, when I was 15 i moved to Florida. When I was 16 I graduated form higschool. I also met my first light-skinned girlfriend. Renae. It was total infatuation from the moment I saw her. I would grow to love her dearly. I'd seen plenty of light-skinned girls, but she just appealed to me, and she wasn't half white. So it wasn't a subconscious liking of white women, or need to escape my past. She was Jamaican.

I would learn nothing was sexier to me than islanders, foreigners, and mixed girls. Now I still adore brown skinned girls but even today they seem to ignore me or even find me only slightly attractive.

In my humble opinion I'm good looking, intelligent enough, and can hold hold a conversation with a psychotic bum or a scholar. so I can't see any other reason to dislike me. I've even shook some of my nerdier qualities over the years, I'm diverse and older dark-skinned women find me sexy. They say it lol but my own age... who knows.

Maybe it could be my reserved nature or any number of other reasons, but I cannot point it out. Back to my story. Renae would lay a blue-print for many of my future girls. I would go on to date black and asian, german and pretty much every other mix, but one thing was consistent they were black.

I think it's beautiful and it mixes well with any thing. As of now, I'm more into just being single. because I want to act and I love my disposable income and my pretty cool job too much, but if a girl came along no matter the race and she excited me, I'd date her. Now she'd have to be like a black featured scarlet Johansson(no offense) if she was Caucasian though. I just don't find white females sensually/emotionally desirable. I love you women. I respect you and honor your struggles, but realize, you alone will create how the world will really see you surprise them. Black people are slowly taking over.

It's simply time to come together.


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

Thank you for stopping by and responding. It is greatly appreciated in kind.


Levertis Steele profile image

Levertis Steele 3 years ago from Southern Clime

Consider "the tall, dark stranger" often mentioned by the women in Western movies. The macho, masculine buff guy dressed in black, very tanned skin, and riding a black horse is the one that the pretty lady (leading lady) is attracted to. Women are usually lighter than men in most races, I believe.

When I think about it, light-skinned Black women are often attracted to darker men. So, the men are not the only ones doing the picking. Dark skinned men are perceived to be more masculine among many light-skinned women.

When I think aout it a little deeper, I see many Caucasian women turning to Black-skinned men, too. Light-skinned women like dark-skinned celebrities as well as men in other careers.


3 years ago

White woman are symbolist of getting a trophy, and that is racist to the black females- it must hurt them, till they are just baby mamas. Why is this discussion never discussed ?


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

Thank you K, this discussion is considered dirty laundry. You are spot on, white women are considered goddesses and the prize by many successful Black men. Light skinned Black women since they approximate the European beauty ideal are treasured by many successful Black men.

Darker skinned Black women sadly are viewed more negatively by some successful Black men. Light skinned Black women are considered to be more classy and more affluent while darker skinned Black women are considered to be ghetto. This is very sad indeed. Thank you K for stopping by, responding and adding to the discussion.


Charles Reaves 2 years ago

I don't agree with this article at all. First of all who is collecting this data, and how is it validated? Secondly, if you look at the myriad of executives, celebrities, athletes, and politicians you will see all kinds of skin color combinations among black couples. Finally, look at some anecdotes. For example, President Obama is a biracial light skinned man, and the First Lady is definitely darker than a brown paper bag, as are his two daughters. How about actors Courtney Vance and Angela Bassett, both of whom are dark brown skinned? How about Denzel and Paulette Washington, both of whom are about the same shade of brown (Paulette might be half a shade darker)? What about brown skinned Kerry Washington and her light skinned husband, what's his name the football player? I think this article was written for someone's personal agenda, and not based on objective evidence.


Janina 2 years ago

I understand what the article is trying to say,but maybe people are attracted to what they happen to like...maybe you're looking too deep into this..


leonabanks 2 years ago

dffg


samcrubin 2 years ago

I think the article is mostly correct.

First off, in almost every race most women seem to be of lighter skin than women, so that can also constitute to the situation. From my experience of living in America (highly diverse) and Africa (slightly diverse), I have to say that for some reasons black men put light skin women on a very high pedestal.

I think this has something to do with slavery, colonization and culture.

Slavery and colonization put white women as the perfect women. White means cleaner, more attractive and nicer, and light skin black women are the ones that get close to that. It's more like dating Solange Knowles because you can get to Beyonce; Beyonce being the Goddess.


greg 2 years ago

its so interesting... successful dark skinned black men are a catch for all especially white women and successful dark skinned black women are rejected by just about everyone in general in terms of beauty.. its sick and black folk are the sickest. we hate ourselves so damn much.


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 2 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

Greg, what you have analytically elucidated is quite true unfortunately. In Westernized, industrialized societies, European/light-skinned beauty is seen as the feminine ideal. So dark-skinned men whether Black, Latino, Mediterranean, and/or Asian see the lighter skinned varieties of their group and Caucasian women as the beauty ideal. As they become more affluent and education, they latch on the European-looking woman in their racial/ethnic group as a status symbol while the dark versions of their particular racial/ethnic group are viewed as more subpar. Thank you for contributing and adding to the discussion.


Denyce 2 years ago

So what is new? African-Americans (and others) are brainwashed and accept the doctrine of white supremacy, hook, line, and sinker. Can a man (or woman) who accepts the tenets of his own inferiority be truly considered a man (woman), regardless of economic or social status? A colonized or enslaved mind is a psychologically diseased mind. This ongoing phenomenon is simply a manifestation of pandemic sickness.

The good new is that all African-Americans are not inflicted. The anecdote for those of us who are not completely overtaken by this sickness (I say completely, but I believe we have all been infected to a certain degree) is to continually strive for optimal mental and cultural health, and do not succumb to hatred of our brothers and sisters.

I say this particularly to Black women: we must stay strong physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We must become stronger than we currently are. AND remember that the United States of America is not the world. History teaches us that power changes hands. White supremacy is reigning worldwide now and it has been for the past few hundred years or so, but it is in the throes of death.

Also, this is only my opinion as a beautiful dark-skinned African-American woman, stop imitating other races. Create your own beauty standards for YOU. Also, maybe we should redefine success and rise above the superficial - that redefinition comes through spirituality and education. Again, in my opinion, regarding racism, sexism, classism, and all other societal ills, the greater sin is to believe oneself inferior.


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 2 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

Thank you for your insightful, eloquent response and adding to the discussion!


Rene Donaldson profile image

Rene Donaldson 22 months ago from Raleigh, North Carolina

Most of these men are marrying black women of red and black complexions. Entertainers aren't reality.


Sammy1 20 months ago

Some of these responses .... Wow! I'm a semi successful black male and I'm married to a white female. We have been married for 16 years. I didn't marry her for her skin color or any of that nonsense. When I was a young single bachelor, I dated a few women but most black women didn't think ( I was later informed) that I was black enough! Too clean cut. I grew up in a rural area. I'm an outdoorsy guy. I fish, hunt and love sports. I think I've always been a laid back nice guy. Several eligible black women looked down on me because I was raised on a small farm. I've been told that I don't sound black when I talk. My friends say I've always been this way. No change. Im ok with me and always a gentleman. I wasn't an ugly guy. After I got married, black women seemed to notice me more. Nearly fighting over me at work. I wonder now why weren't they interested when I was a bachelor .


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 20 months ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

You have made some excellent points, Sammy. There are some Black women who don't appreciate nor value the intelligent, successful, and educated Black man. They contend that he is nerdy and are attracted to the thug because of the latter's false bravado. You are right Sammy- I really cannot fathom why some Black women are attracted to the thug whose psychosocial mindset is negative. I am a middle class, educated Black woman who appreciate successful, educated, and upwardly mobile Black men. However, many of these fallacious Black women who are attracted to thugs have a very rude awakening as they become older. Such negative men are very poor prospects as boyfriends, husbands, and fathers.


Awesomeness 20 months ago

This. This is so bewildering. I've had my share of failed dates and always thought it was me. I'm light skinned and get teased for not sounding "black" enough because I speak proper english or get called "fake" if i have to jive to get my point across. I'm educated but constantly struggle in a system working against me. I don't fit any shallow notion that seeks to define me because i have diverse interests and am proud of my looks. At this rate, I deal with being alone since I refuse to be thought of as a prize or force myself to mold in what others think i should be. But seriously, not all dark skinned girls are ghetto hoods and not all light skinned girls are successful genteel creatures. This is pure silliness and it's a shame folks still act on what should be a non issue.


Antoine 20 months ago

Black is black, let's stop splitting hair, especially amongst ourselves. In my own family I had a darker hue than my own sisters but they loved me just the same; in fact they spoiled me in spite of the fact that I was rambunctious most of the time. I was still their baby brother. By the way, all that the other races see is that we're just "black ",


rex 20 months ago

I think this willie lynch type article was given to a writer who is not progressing. It has not substance. The writer is talking about men like he or she personally met millions of men who think like this. The writer is basing this off a very small % of men Celebraties. Men only care about does she have whatever it takes in her and. Will she nuture and raise our family right.


Duh 20 months ago

Well instead of being single and pitiful why don't black women simply just date white men. Black men are garbage. Move on to men with power. The end.


Malik EL 20 months ago

Most successful men don't marry light skin women. That's a marketing trick. If you come in the hood there are more Women of color married and they hold up better than lighter skinned sisters. There are way more relation then what's being advertised on here! This is caucasians propaganda!! Don't believe the hype.


Vincent 20 months ago

May I ask where you got your data? Has there been a study conducted, that We're unaware of? And if there is in fact an actual study from which your postulation derives. Don't you think that OUR energies would be better spent, solving REAL issues of Black Folks? For us to believe your assertion, We'd have to accept that you know a large number of "Successful Black Men." So how many would that be? I'm not just talking about the so-called "Successful Black Men" We always trot out as Representatives of the Black Race. I'm talking about everyday "Successful Black Men!" Who have successfully raised well balanced and well adjusted Children, who go on to do the same. "SBM" who run successful small minority businesses. Successfully hold positions of importance, that contribute to positive black outcomes. I would imagine that's a lot of Successful Black Men to know! So honestly....how many do you really know? Or is this articles postulation intended to be purely anecdotal titillating fodder? Meant to pander to and appease Black Women who have been misled to believe their Black Men don't love the skin their in? Misled by white controlled mainstream media I might add. Methinks your just regurgitating the very mess, we've been trying to teach our Little Black Girls not to believe. That their not "Enough!"

Please site concrete evidence!


Melanie 20 months ago

Thank you Vincent. I absolute believe that this questions white-controlled media curiosity. I have, however, read some very interesting comments. I am a dark-skinned black woman who has been in several relationships with white men. Some of my story is similar to Sammy1's. I have always been attracted to white guys though, since I was little and I could never understand it. But it was mostly bc I was ridiculed by family and others in my community for "sounding white", listening to "white" music, or just being friends with white people. I found out later on that it wasn't that I was "accepted" by most whites. It was more like I was "acceptable" to them. I learned that media propaganda and articles such as these try to make black women feel even more inferior than many do, thinking that not even their own race wants them. They post things without evidence-based research to back them up, post it on social media where many of our young black females spend their time, and plant more seeds of doubt in their young minds. No matter what your race is that wrote this article, I believe you are contributing to the destruction of the self esteem and self image of potential successful, loved, blessed dark-skin women. And please don't bring celebrities into this as if they prove anything. They are not the majority. They are not an accurate portion of the statistical data needed to prove something is true, false, or indeterminate. Plus, I believe, you don't really KNOW them. You just think you do bc of what you see on...that's right. The social media.


cookie 20 months ago

You ever heard of opposites attract. Also at least they are black.


Jacklyn 18 months ago

Wow, Black people justifying this nonsense, down playing it, and can't deal with the reality that we have a problem with colorism. "Opposites Attract"? "Light skin women fetched a higher bride price in Africa'"? Yeah right. Which country and ethnic group b/c my research proves otherwise. "At least they are Black"? O.K. so let's allow one group of people in our races to continue to be "unpartnered, regulated to lower income men" b/c at least we all staying within the group. And this is my favorite, "but I was rejected by BW or BM, blah, blah, blah"--simple deflection tactic to not deal with the reality and the issue that we indeed have a problem with color. No wonder our children still "fail" the Doll Test and walking around with complexes about skin, hair, and features. It seems like they get it from their parents with these foolish attitudes and ways of thinking. Makes me sick to read "let's focus on more important issues" as if this colorism doesn't have an impact on self-esteem, academic performance, economic success, and marriage success. Very ignorant statement indeed.


Djus0987 18 months ago

This will not be popular, it is due to self hate and low self esteems. Dark skin man can not date themselves because they do not like their own complexion. I have been out and a dark skin brother will point out a light skin woman and that is the only qualifying characteristic. My sister has stated that she will date a dark skin man because they are easy to get and have such low expectations. That's another topic all together.


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 18 months ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

Djus, what you have stated is so true. Thank you for stopping by and adding to this discussion.


blessed2blessed 17 months ago

First we have to define light skin because many of the women placed on this post are brown skin black women . Everyone learned in elementary school brown was a dark color.


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 17 months ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

Yes but in the Black community, there are variations of brown from light to dark.


Biscuit 15 months ago

The Brother Sebastian had a lot of valid points in the comment section. Dude mos def hit the nail on the head in terms of how many Sisters go overboard and confuse the whole strong, powerful woman thing with just being disrespectful and rude. Might I add that it's almost to a point where it seems like it's becoming engrained into our culture. Especially if you look at the portrayal of Black women in the media for the past handful of decades. Images of the "sassy sistah that ain't afraid to put someone in their place". Of course when there's decades of seeing that bs on tv, movies, etc. one may be inclined to think that is how they're supposed to act. Granted I had a different experience in my school days, a few of my boys sound like they could have been that Brother. Throughout my teens and early twenties the Sisters seemed to gravitate towards a different kind of Brother. The ones that were articulate, studious, mild-mannered and just not as loud and obnoxious seemed to get clowned. They were known as cornballs or trying to "act white" whatever the heck that means. I played the ignorant part by not being myself, but it worked, but I can understand how that can be damaging and off-putting to a Brother's psyche. Sure enough, a lot of these guys now are with white and Latina women that they either met while in school or work together in whatever jobs it is that they do. When people have the same interests it's like a magnet between them. They understand each other. These guys feel like they'd been shunned by Sisters and found something elsewhere. It's no secret that Black men are more likely to look for love outside of our race than Black women. Don't know why that is, but I definitely agree with that assessment. But Black women seem to pull that whole "they're taking all of our good men". Well, we know doggone well that they're not referring to the scumbag dating the trashy white chick that thinks she's Black for some reason, as if getting Black D and hanging out with hoodrats somehow made her Black herself. We know they're not talking about the, um... "undesirable" young Brothers that have knocked up the same white chick that thinks it's fine to say the n-word because her kids are half Black. So they're talking about the Brothers that were pushed right into the white grad student's arms I'm guessing? I can honestly say that I got lucky finding a Sister that's doing her thing and is parallel with me success and value-wise because dating in general is rough and we just happened to find each other under the right circumstances. Of course it's ok to have a preference, but the more time goes on its like, why not expand your horizons and open yourself up to different things? Going out looking for love often times leads to disappointment, but it can creep up on and surprise you when you least expect it. But if you're not opening up social and romantic circles, you definitely run more of a chance of being lonely and single than someone more open minded. Now colorism is something that works both ways in the Black and Brown communities. While I've seen it as mostly just little playful jabs, I've seen the weird phenomenon of light skin Black people trying to act "extra Black" (which usually seems to manifest itself as them acting extra hood, or the extra conscious/militant). I've seen the other way around with people uncomfortable with their dark complexions act a little "bougie" or act as if they're a little too high and mighty for what they came from. Or with Latinos, lots of times you have the ones that seem a little uncomfortable looking either too white or too black, so they'll whip out a Spanish accent or just straight up Spanish for no damn reason mid-sentence. I do know quite a few Brothers that seem to have a preference for light skinned women. I never understood that, but there was nothing that seemed self-loathing behind it. Just the kind of people that I know is a multi-ethnic smorgasbord of people. Goes back to that who's in your circles and proximity thing I was talking about earlier. These guys are proud of who they are. They get mad and fight for the same issues that the rest of us do. A lot of the main article seems to be more speculative, and almost has a personal undertone to it.


BarbSweet 12 months ago

What's the difference. We're all black... right? Or did I miss the memo?


LipstickHustlers 8 months ago

SO heres my opinion, As a slave they saw lighter or mixed woman placed in the big house, lighter work assigned. As a child when growing up, All men saw on the Tv were Light bright Damn near white on TV, I.E. Earth Kit, Dorthy Dandridge, Josephine Baker few ladies of color allowed to take rolls outside of being a maid, Any one else who were darker always played MAMMys , maids etc... then we enter the music video age, BET uncut, MTV JAms. Most of woman Featured were those of lighter skin or mixed. The rappers the ballers actors all showing young men that the lighter female deserves more, she is what you need to have on your arm once you get to a certain level. Another example RB singers, Nicole Wray, Tweet, Lil Moe, Selena johnson not as famous as Ashanti how? Its all about image. Men constantly take in what they see. Then you have Night clubs like this one in UK that was recently in the news, That didn't allow darker black women in... there for the Athletes and entertainers can only meet woman who look a certain way. We as Darker skin woman don't get to go to VIP unless our body is insanely crazy. Another thing look at most celebs who have kids before they are are famous, most kids are fully black.. darker skin... but once they feel they are on certain level they go lighter. like your kids mother was fit to struggle with but not come up... Example: LIL wayne, Kevin HArt, Iggy Azaleas Boyfriend, Kanye hasn't seen a dark woman since college, 50cent, Eddie murphy,....... Like what is going on.. by all means like who likes, you.... but if placed in a room full of woman who can't relate to your struggle then years down the line wonder why you guys aren't working out or why when things get hard there are problems... IF OBAMA CAN MAKE IT TO THE WHITE HOUSE WITH MICHELE BY GOLLY YOU CAN MAKE IT TO THE NBA, OSCARS, OUTTER SPACE, ETC WITH A WOMAN WHOS A SHADE OR 2 DARKER THAN YOU.... Woman are not accessories!


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