Why are People so Unkind?

Source: flickr.com
Source: flickr.com
Source: flickr.com
Source: flickr.com

Why are People so Unkind?

By Tony DeLorger © 2011


Why are people so unkind? Why do we treat those who contest our will with such contempt and venom? Is it that we see our fault and act defensively, feeling ‘offensive is the best defence?’ Whatever the reason human beings are so contentious about the slightest of issues. Road rage is a perfect example. So what if someone doesn’t see you and mistakenly cuts you off. Does it deserve the tirade of abuse, obscene gestures and threats? And further, the person at fault having realised it and with a wave of apology, is then driven to defensive abuse and gestures of their own. Such escalations are commonplace, proving that we are all prone to outbursts of condemnation, for seemingly unimportant reasons.

Perhaps we are under such constant pressure in life we are permanently on the edge, waiting for someone to confront us to vent our frustrations. Anyway, in doing so we simply promote the nature of violence and the state of our world, and cannot expect any other result if we keep acting this way. Kindness and consideration for others have been replaced by a withdrawal from people. Mistrust is prevalent and has forced us to go about our business in a relatively cynical way, unprepared to give people we don’t know any chance to prove themselves.

The sadness is most obvious in situations where someone needs help on the street and people choose not to get involved because of mistrust. This lack of support and care in society has created a rift. With increasing crime and violence most people are apprehensive to get involved in anything that could be dangerous or leave them vulnerable. It is understandable on one level, but we must try to preserve our compassion and kindness, not repress it.

Human beings can be compassionate and recent natural disasters have proven that with people freely risking their lives for strangers. So when it comes to significant events affecting community, people see it in a different light and adapt to the required role. So having proved capability, why do we not apply that to every day circumstances. I guess the answer is ‘fear’. And society hasn’t helped in propagating all kinds of fears. Just watching the news is enough to double-check our locked doors. We are surrounded by crime and the fear of it.

I just know that remaining angry and negatively responsive to the minor happenings of life simply keeps the fear and the negativity going. The only way to change the world is to take responsibility for our behaviour. If we recognise that it is wrong then it is up to us to change it for the better.

No-one wants to be angry or abusive; it is a response that is not thought out, a knee-jerk response that has been learned through conditioning. Kindness is not easy in a contentious world, but it is by far a better way to live and in turn be treated by others. It’s something to consider and to keep in mind while on this life journey.


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Comments 19 comments

Tony DeLorger profile image

Tony DeLorger 4 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia Author

Thanks for your comment Just wondering. Do drop in again.


Just wondering 4 years ago

I wish unkind people would follow Tony's advice to just be happy and nice. Being happy feels great! When counting your blessings, looking up at the sky or just marveling at what humans can do, you know life is amazing!


Tony DeLorger profile image

Tony DeLorger 5 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia Author

Thanks Inspector, I think fear is the cause of this isolation. We are so conditioned to fear everything, by what happens in the world, we become paranoid and don't want to connect. It is a sad state of affairs.


inspector fidget profile image

inspector fidget 5 years ago from the US of A

I have wondered, too, why are people so unkind? I've asked myself this many times. People used to welcome their new neighbors into the neighborhood, smile at others in the grocery store (whether they knew them or not). And just seemed overall gentler and more caring of the next person.

Things are so different now. No one seems to care about anyone else, other than themselves. So sad, yet so true.

I love this hub. The title grabbed my attention right away. Very nice subject and writing.


Tony DeLorger profile image

Tony DeLorger 5 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia Author

Thanks for reading and your comment rafken


rafken profile image

rafken 5 years ago from The worlds my oyster

The meek my still inherit the earth, it's just that the smart and knowledgeable will make sure they take all value from it first.


Tony DeLorger profile image

Tony DeLorger 5 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia Author

A sad truth d. william. The meak will not inherit the earth, but the smart and knowledgeable will. Thanks for reading


d.william profile image

d.william 5 years ago from Somewhere in the south

Good article. I have to agree with Jane Bovary above that in a "me first" society, kindness IS viewed as a weakness. And weaknesses are so easily exploited by others. How does that saying go? "...no good deed goes unpunished".?

If you give of yourself too freely there are more people that will take advantage and exploit than not.


Tony DeLorger profile image

Tony DeLorger 5 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia Author

Thanks for your comment fucsia, and for dropping by.


fucsia profile image

fucsia 5 years ago

"The only way to change the world is to take responsibility for our behaviour. If we recognise that it is wrong then it is up to us to change it for the better." This is a wise phrase. I am convinced also that if everyone finds his/her happiness ( and this can happen only if finds his/her truly self ) can begin an important positive social growth.


Tony DeLorger profile image

Tony DeLorger 5 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia Author

Thanks Jane. Yes, I think kindness can be perceived as weakness, when in fact it's one of the most important aspecs to master in life. And guess who needs it more than anyone, it's us- being kind to ourselves. Thanks for your comment.


Jane Bovary profile image

Jane Bovary 5 years ago from The Fatal Shore

I didn't know you were a Kamahl fan...:)

Kindness is underrated.In our present culture of 'winners' and 'losers' I sometimes wonder if kindness is not perceived as a weakness.

Apart from that, yes I think you're right about the stress and frustration..we've got a short fuse and seem quick to react with anger.


Tony DeLorger profile image

Tony DeLorger 5 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia Author

Thanks for your comment Sa'ge.


Sa`ge profile image

Sa`ge 5 years ago from Barefoot Island

respect and honour and the ability to agree to disagree. we do not have to have the same truths to get along, we just need to have respect, honour and agree to disagree. unconditional love comes from being able to have these things for each other.


Tony DeLorger profile image

Tony DeLorger 5 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia Author

Thanks for reading Hattie


HattieMattieMae profile image

HattieMattieMae 5 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

I don't know, but I get tired of it! lol


Tony DeLorger profile image

Tony DeLorger 5 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia Author

Thanks Apostle Jack and rafken, for reding and your comments. Appreciate it.


rafken profile image

rafken 5 years ago from The worlds my oyster

It makes you wonder what the word humanity really means.


Apostle Jack profile image

Apostle Jack 5 years ago from Atlanta Ga

To every yes,there is a no,and to every no there is a yes to every philosophy in this world.I hope you are speaking to everyone, and not just a few people.

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