Reasons Why Can't We All Be Friends Together.

We just can't be happy together.

People notoriously disagree, argue and fight. It is an inevitable part of the human condition.

Families don't always get along and it seems some members have feuds that stretch back for years. What triggers these misgivings are many and often the blame is passed so readily, it's dfficult to see them ever reaching an amicable resolution.

If you are currently in a relationship, chances are your more then aware it's not all hearts and flowers. Although you may well be very much in love and you care for one another deeply, there will be times when you both have a difference of opinion and have to work hard to resolve it.

Parent's also get their fair share of stressful disputes happening with their children and not just when they are young.

Sibling rivalry is an ongoing issue as brothers and sisters come to logger heads, compete for attention and squabble over belongings.

Bullying in the work place and school seems to be rife, even forum discussions experience the odd bout of mud slinging.

History shows us that war is a prominent and regular occurrence, battles erupt over the obtainment of land and power, either by means of civil war or combat between countries.

Religion too has seen more then a little of conflict of interest in the past and even today it is at the root of furious debate.

All this and more begs the question, why can't we be friends?

Why do we fight, can't we just be happy?

There are many reasons why people can't seem to just get along with one another. Each of us has a belief, no matter how small, that we are right, thinking that your way is the best way, the only way and the correct way, can cause a few problems, to say the least. After all we can't all be right.

People think differently, sometimes drastically so and polar opposite opinions cause conflict. The problem however is not that people are different but the struggle to understand these differences.


Influence.

We all have own unique ideas about the way things 'should' be, largely determined by the way we were influenced growing up, and by our peers around us now. Our parents, schools, religious beliefs and media exposure all contribute to how we think about issues, how we feel about other people and how we view the world.

Problems arise when people either can't or won't accept that life is not a one size fits all scenario, and try to either change by force or condemnation a lifestyle choice of another. In some cases even insulting an entire culture, or unfairly stereotyping an entire race of people, due to narrow mindedness or ignorance.

It pays to question and watch the company we keep, because they are more often then not reflecting our views and are also influencing us.

Envy.

The world is divided into many sections of society 'the haves and the have nots' 'the beauties and the geeks' 'the powerful and the powerless' 'the intellectuals and the air heads' we live in a society where consumerism rules supreme. Youth, beauty and wealth are to be coveted, celebrity revered, because everything else is deemed mediocre and it seems nobody wants to be that. All these things and more lead to jealousy and a lot of it.

Envy is the breeding ground for resentment and this can then lead to depression. Personally I think there's nothing worse then reading about a high profile footballer or celebrity complaining endlessly about being 'papped', when it is one of the main reasons, if not the single reason that they are in the position they are, and yet the average mere mortal works their fingers to the bone, struggling for a pittance. So when this really started to rile me, I made a vested effort to deliberately avoid the magazines and television programs that support their whining and hey presto, I felt better.

It helps to be grateful for what you have, I'm lucky I have a lot to be grateful for. I am not immune from the green eyed monster however and many an argument has been sparked by a bout of envy, but quite honestly I don't think it does any good. I don't think we should become complacent about the great inequalities of life, I just think there are more effective and less emotionally damaging ways to go about it.

Injustice.

Consequences are a stark reminder of our actions. As we grow older we become ever more aware of the consequences of our actions, work hard you will be rewarded, be nice and people will like you however don't do anything bad because in turn bad things will happen to you. So when we see, hear, read or experience situations where people don't seem to get what they deserve it seems terribly unfair.

The 2009 recession was a prime example of this, when we realised that those who caused the financial problems were still getting massive payouts why the rest of us suffer the consequences, this doesn't sit well for most of us as it goes against what we were bought up to believe.

Compensation is another example of trying to readdress the fairness balance, it is not fair for people to suffer as the result of some else's mistake, but again this does not please all parties involved.

Fear.

The unknown leaves us feeling vulnerable, if we have had prier experience with a problem or issue before we feel much better prepared and able to deal with it again. We are fundamentally creatures of habit we like the familiar processes and predictable outcomes of the every day, we feel far more comfortable with prior knowledge and recognition of people or a situation.

The future, the dark, a stranger, an unexpected major change and loss are all things that are common, universal and shared fears. The unknown and different can cause people to act discriminately and think logically, some people are much more adaptable and welcoming of change then others, these people tend to be the happier ones. Not the miserable scare mongerers and scepics.



Misunderstandings.

The fall out of the unintentional can be huge, for instance recently two of my friends had a falling out over just this kind of situation, friend A told friend B that her brother in law had died, friend B was distraught. However it turned out that friend A had been misinformed and friend B's brother in law was still very much alive. This caused all kinds of problems between them, because friend B didn't get her facts right.

The old he said, she said saga continues ever on and politics often throws up a few truly shocking mistakes ever now and again.

The odd slip of the tongue can also make for awkward or heated discussion, I was taught that if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all and this works a charm for preventing any animosity. However It is O.k to criticize, as long as it's constructive and helpful, if not it's worth keeping schtum.


Insecurity.

There are times when we doubt ourselves and our abilities, times in life when you seem to be experiencing more failure then success. Other people around you seem to be doing well full of good news and cheer, yet your just not feeling yourself.

When bad tempers are abound, angry words often follow and what is said in the heat of the moment can often still be left in the mind long after current mood has lightened.

Competition can be and for the most part is good, it encourages growth and aspiration. However when it is leveled with unfair advantage, it can leave a bitter taste in the mouth and increasing insecurity.

Will we ever get along?

We can be tolerant but there will always be conflict, issues as great as these are unlikely to ever be solved, especially not across the board. There are unfortunately not going to be solutions that please everyone and until major changes in mindset and reform are made, we will continue to see the same problems repeating  themselves.

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Comments 13 comments

Pink 21 months ago

You got to push it-this esisatenl info that is!


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 4 years ago from West Virginia

Voted up, awesome, useful, and interesting. Very good points. I always have wondered why the world in whole can't get along. I know we have all our differences, but all the killing, it is awful. Here in the U.S., families don't seem like they have those strong ties anymore. I really embrace the Italians. That is the way familes should be, close and loving. But of course, all the listed events in your article cause such seperation. Very cool, true article. Great work.


Timothy Donnelly profile image

Timothy Donnelly 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

wrenfrost56, nice Hub. Rated Up.

I would like to make a contribution to your subject, if you will have it. You have mentioned Envy and Insecurity, which is great. I suggest that Pride (and ego) is probably at root of both these two reasons you bring up. I believe the proud always consider the Jones’ circumstance, and cannot be satisfactorily proud until they match or better them. Of course, one may then see that the proud ought to be conscious of any insecurities they may harbour, lest they are triggered by another’s gain, or proximity and display.

wrenfrost56, thank you and regards, Timothy.


Moons 5 years ago

Something good to read. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. :) I am looking forward for more post.


my-success-guru profile image

my-success-guru 5 years ago from Upstate NY

Hey wrentfrost56,

Interesting thoughts on why people don't get along. You really put things in perspective!

Take Care,

Jim


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 6 years ago

Hey wrenfrost, I like this info , I am not a fighter , though I am self assured enough. I will walk away almost every time, those who argue so much have their ego problems and are not likely to listen to anyone ,I find them easy to read though . Great read.


wrenfrost56 profile image

wrenfrost56 6 years ago from U.K. Author

Thank-you for your comment tom hellert, I find people are more receptive to the funny geek too. LOL I'm sure these people will get what they deserve! :)


tom hellert profile image

tom hellert 6 years ago from home

Very good handle on the bizarre natire of freinds foes and the other passing aquaintences- P.S I was/am a geek but i learned people like the humorous geek- There are still those out there that insist on climbing the corporate ladder via your hands shoulders and head- those people will hopefully step on the wrong toes some day and get kicked down the ladder... \Great read

TH


Robertbloggert profile image

Robertbloggert 6 years ago from Oklahoma

Wow great job on this Wren. And I would love to be friends if ya like. I personally like making all the friends I can. Funny though I used to do that at work and you just get these looks sometimes. Like who are you did we ask you in our click. I think sometimes we need to grow down instead of growing up. But again great work I really enjoyed. Voted Up and Awesome!


YU_First 1 profile image

YU_First 1 6 years ago from Uganda

My one interest is that immediate family should never be divided. The others and the differences we should tolerate or ignore...


drej2522 profile image

drej2522 6 years ago from Augusta, GA

Hey, what's with 'the beauties and the geeks' comparison! I, for one, am a beautiful geek! :P

Ha, seriously, a wonderful hub and unique perspective on the human condition, my friend...


katiem2 profile image

katiem2 6 years ago from I'm outta here

Fantastic read and very sound advice, why can't we be friends indeed. I'm not a fighter, prefer to walk away from a fight, just don't get it. Some people really do like a good go of it, not me! Great help for us all thanks wrenfrost, a rate up and all that is good. :)


andromida profile image

andromida 6 years ago

A hub with a great topic.You have raised some great questions, one of it is "Will we ever get along?" and you already mentioned a solution to this problem.I must agree that until there is a major shift in our mindset to align our thoughts to the major purpose of our life-live a peaceful and meaningful live-we all remain all the same as we are today. But I must say, our history has already shown us how we can live a non-violent life. We just forget to follow the great teachers of history. Thanks wren :)

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