Will They Ever Let You Forget

This interviewer is a perfect example of not letting go of the past

Another diatribe on how bad the actor did in the past.

My observation

I was watching TV the other day, and I caught an interview with a former child star, Todd Bridges. He made mention that no matter what he does now with his life no one ever lets him forget his past. He's been clean and sober for over 17 years, and having success in his life. He said that a few years ago he rescued a woman, literally saving her life, and the write up on the rescue was less than favorable. To tell the truth I never even heard of his lifesaving act, but I continue to hear about his not so favorable past.

Then a few days later I saw an interview with Robert Downey Jr., and the interviewer, after talking extensively about his wonderful performance in his latest movie, brought up his past drug use. He's starred in a few very noteworthy movies of late, and yet every time I see him interviewed, his past if always brought up.

Let's not forget M.C. Hammer, (Hammer Time, "Can't Touch This"), the 90's pop/rap singer and dancer. He's gone in a different direction from his past life. But he was interviewed on one of the morning shows with his son. I think his subject had something to do with his new venture. At any rate the interviewer advised his son to follow his example now and not what he did in the past. She was referring and alluding to the fact that he went bankrupt. After the host made that less than flattering statement to his, I think, 11 year old son, Hammer said, something to the effect, "he doesn't know anything about that." Well take a look at the video, and you'll see what I mean.

My reason for writing

I suppose the reason I'm writing about this could be two fold. One, be careful what you do when you're young. By that I mean, whatever you do when you're young could come back to haunt you when you get older. I'm sure this advice will get to the right people at the wrong time. You see when we're young we "know everything," and no one can tell us anything. But in retrospect we look back with our 20/20 vision and wish we'd listened to the sage advice of our elders. Oh, I could go on to write a complete article on this subject, and maybe I will, but this was simply musing.

The second reason, and, I think an important one, is, let it go. I mean, when a person makes an effort to change their life, can we just give them a break and not continually remind them or others of what they did in the past. I can imagine some of us would not like the spotlight shone on our past, especially if we've turned our life around and put behind us some of the ghastly acts that we participated in during our youth. Can you imagine being reminded, for 17 years, about something you did that you were not particularly proud of, and not being credited with the good that you've done, during that period. I'm just saying.

There are numerous public figures that continue to live their lives with no regard for what others say or think, so why not give them the attention they crave. It's enough of them to keep us talking, and speculating for a long time. And for those ones that have made a concerted effort to change, let them get on with their lives.

Chris Brown/ GMA/ 3/22/2011

Update/ Chris Brown

Well, here we go again, another media personality with the issue of having to live down his past. Chris Brown was on Good Morning America, March 22, 2011, promoting his album. He was repeatedly asked about the Rihanna incident. Before I go any further, let me say I weigh in pro or con on neither side of the issue. During the interview, clearly he was uncomfortable focusing on the incident. He has, as was brought out, laid low for over two years, not getting in trouble during that time.

What happens next is unclear. It was reported that he stormed off, after his performance, went to his dressing room, and proceeded to destroy it, breaking a window in the process. While I watched the show I didn't see him storm off, but I did see the aftermath, (window broken, whether by Brown or someone else), on the news. Chris Brown's return, a news article.

I don't know any of the circumstances surrounding the issue, however, here's my take. As I stated before, what you do can always come back to haunt you. As with the Rihanna situation, if Chris Brown, indeed did what they say he did, this is a big setback to letting him forget.

I say to the interviewers, do you have skeletons in your closet that you'd rather not be brought up, think about that, and put yourself in the shoes of the one being interviewed? How would you feel if every time you were in the media that skeleton was brought up?

To the one in the news, think about what you do on every occasion, good, bad, or indifferent. Itwill come up again, and again. This situation, if true with Chris Brown will only serve to keep the negative press going for some time to come, and two years down the road he'll have to deal with it. So, I say if you want them to forget, your negative actions, don't give them anything to remember.

Conclusion

If you have the urge, or inclination to mention someone else failings from the past, put yourself in their place. Think about the worse things that you did years ago, and have since moved on from. How would you feel if during every conversation your past is brought to the fore, and you're thereby not allowed to forget it? Keeping this in mind perhaps you'll not be so quick to listen to gossip about others past. I wish I could get that across to the interviewers that won't let these people, or us, for that matter, forget the past of those they interview.

Hey, I just thought of something. Suppose those that are to be interviewed learn something about their interviewers before the interview, and when the talk turns to their, hope to be forgotten, past, they could tactfully turn the tables, and bring up something that the interviewer would love to forget. Okay, I'm not a tit for tat individual, but I think if that happened enough, the interviewers would think twice before bringing up their subjects negative past.

I suppose we should address those that find themselves in situations that could go either way. Take a lesson from these individuals that I've listed here, and make the right choice. Easier said than done, yeah, but consider the alternative to what you're contemplating.

Of course, this advice is not just for public figures, what about our friends, relatives, and other acquaintances, could they be given the same courtesies? (I'm just saying).

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Comments 58 comments

suny51 profile image

suny51 6 years ago

what i know for sure is that what you give comes back to you.

Thanks fastfreta for reminding.


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

Our society seems determined to punish people endlessly, fastfreta, no matter what they've overcome.

Thanks.


RevLady profile image

RevLady 6 years ago from Lantana, Florida

Thanks fasffreta.

Well, I think the problem with being young is that you can only be what you are, young, undeveloped and vulnerable. Life is a growth process and we learn as we age. Young people's minds are still developing as they interact and learn about the "real" world. It is difficult for some to make the "right" choices because society presents them with too many conflicting choices with each claiming to be the "right" choice.

I look more at the older generation who should applaud those who lost their way but found it. It is our nation's insatiable desire to focus on the negative, the trash, the macabre. The media behaves according to the demands of the masses. Our society is relentless and merciless in trying to kill the inner man. Isn't it sad?

Love and hugs,

Forever His,


Veronica Allen profile image

Veronica Allen 6 years ago from Georgia

AMEN! I don't know why it is so hard for us to let go of past wrongs. Why do we have to keep rehashing things? A lot of people say, "I will forgive, but I will not forget." However, part of truly forgiving is forgetting - putting the deed in the past.

I agree with what RevLady said ' "It is our nation's insatiable desire to focus on the negative, the trash, the macabre." Sadly, that attitude and thinking has trickled down into our own personal and everyday lives.

On a personal level, I too had a hard time forgiving and forgetting. I'm the type of person that loves hard and is willingly to forgive. Yet, when I am hurt deeply, I do have a hard time putting those feelings behind me and putting the past where it belongs - in the past.

Realisticlly, a person's past may provide others with a way to guage whether that person is trustworthy or not. However, if with time they have made great strides to change then let the past be the past.

It is only due to a measure of soul searching and fervent prayer that I have made extreme improvements on letting go of others wrongs. I too have done my share and I would want someone to do the same for me.

Thank you for such a timely and needed reminder. In the end, we have to treat others the way we want to be treated. In retrospect, who of us likes it when others constantly remind us of our past faults?


rose56 profile image

rose56 6 years ago

Hello i really liked your hub.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you all for stopping and taking the time to leave a comment.

I agree with you all when you made mention how the society as a whole never lets us forget our past mistakes

RevLady I like this, " It is our nation's insatiable desire to focus on the negative, the trash, the macabre." So true!

And Veronica, I applaud you for your efforts to make changes, but most of all for your candor, most of us have a hard time admitting our failings publicly.

Thanks rose56, Veronica, RevLady, lorlie, and suny51 again for taking the time to read and leave comments.


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

An excellent hub and an excellent point. Well done.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 6 years ago from United States

Freta, Great hub and so true. Forgive and forget is the best thing for you to do for yourself too. Who wants to walk around with all those negative opinions. By the Grace of God, their go i.


Dobson profile image

Dobson 6 years ago from Virginia

It is a tragedy that so many in entertainment lose their way fo a moment and pay for the rest of their life. i remember watching Different Strokes and it seems all three of the young stars had difficulties following the show.

Thank you for this great article with practical life lessons weaved in.


ladylux profile image

ladylux 6 years ago

Fastfreta, you always give us such great topics to think about! The human ego is bent on creating drama where there is none and it loves to prey upon the rich (whom it perceives to be out of touch with reality). If only more of us could use the good deeds our fellow citizens perform to fuel our "raison d'ĂȘtre". Thanks for making us think once again!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you ladylux for your encouragement. I like that statement about using the good deed of others to fuel our, "raison d'ĂȘtre", (whatever that means LOL)

Thank you Dobson for your kind words to me.

Pamela, no truer words have never been spoken, and that is the point of this hub.

Thank you Hello, hello for your encouragement and for taking the time to read.

Thank you all again for stopping and leaving a comment. See you all soon.


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas

what you are just saying is so right on. I cringe to think of my kids learning about some of my teen years antics. Yikes, I agree with you these people need to be given a break. Very well said fastfretta! Cheers.


valeriebelew profile image

valeriebelew 6 years ago from Metro Atlanta, GA, USA

Well said, fastfreta, I get frustrated with the cruel manner in which the press deals with famous people, and politicians. When somebody makes a series of wrong choices, or discovers their mate has been seeing somebody else, the last thing that person needs is to be on the cover of every grocery store magazine out there. The time is certainly right for this hub. Good for you!


theherbivorehippi profile image

theherbivorehippi 6 years ago from Holly, MI

Totally agree with you! Celebrities make mistakes just like all of us do. It's sad that they have to constantly be reminded of their past. Great hub and well written!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Ladyjane, so many of us feel the same way about our youth.

Thanks Valerie for the validation. Your point, "When somebody makes a series of wrong choices, or discovers their mate has been seeing somebody else, the last thing that person needs is to be on the cover of every grocery store magazine out there," is well taken.

Theherbivorehippi, you are right on the money when you said, "Celebrities make mistakes just like all of us do. It's sad that they have to constantly be reminded of their past."

Thank you all for visiting and leaving a comment. Hope to see you all soon.


Pamela Kinnaird W 6 years ago

Thanks for an interesting topic. I enjoyed it. I guess I'm a little older than y'all, though, because even with the videos you've posted, I still thought until the very end that you were talking about Todd Bridges, an actor on Route 66 long ago. Now I realize....and his name probably wasn't Bridges. Great hub!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

You're probably not older than I am, I don't remember the guy's name on Route 66, but I do remember the show. Thanks anyway for stopping by, see you soon.


samboiam profile image

samboiam 6 years ago from Texas

It is sad that we are remembered by our limitationa and failures. It has been said that success has many fathers but failure is an orphan.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

You're right samboiam it is sad, and I've heard that saying too. Thanks for paying me a visit, please stop over again.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK

Interesting Hub and I feel sorry for them. Everyone should be given a second chance. No matter how successful Tiger Woods or Chris Brown become - they will be known for other activities.

Anyway, the reason why I really popped over here with my Virtual Cup of Coffee was to wish you a Beautiful, Happy Mother's Day. May your Kids always do you proud.

Love, Elena x.


Right Black profile image

Right Black 6 years ago from Huntington Beach, California

fastfreta, it is the condemnation of the public that keeps good people from getting involved with bettering our world. Those who are condemning others are just better at keeping the closet door shut. In every closet there are things we would prefer not be seen, once that door has been opened then you've had it.

What America needs is to cultivate a heart of forgiveness. Great hub, Thanks.


pmccray profile image

pmccray 6 years ago from Utah

Our society has become a nation of voyeurs who enjoy writhing in the misery of the famous and infamous. Most journalism nowadays is little more than gossip mongering and spreading rumors. Good news doesn't sell, but rumors and gossip do.

I'm a little shocked at the questioning of Downey regarding his past. Most media seem to derived great pleasure from raking up the past of minorities leaving whites vitually untouched. I note the difference in coverage of Tiger Woods vs. Charlie Sheen. Woods was strictly a personal matter and Sheen is accused of battery (2nd time)of his wife and little has been said. In fact Sheen has threatened to leave his show if a raise is not received.

Chris Brown's career is shot (as well it should be), but the media coverage of Brown vs Sheen is virtually non existent.

I'm so glad that both Bridges and Downey have kicked the cancer of drug abuse and survived.

http://afrocentrictimes.blogspot.com/2010/03/news-...

Great hub and subject matter.


lctodd1947 profile image

lctodd1947 6 years ago from USA

Fastfreta, this is an excellent hub. Thank you for writing and voicing this important piece of information. God forgives and forgets; people do not. That simply. They should but all we hear on TV is the bad stuff; they never give what good someone does. It is a shame that we humans are not able to forget the past;(we want to forget our own) but not someone elses.

Good for you..thanks again for sharing.


Sue1226 profile image

Sue1226 6 years ago from Dallas, Texas

These people don't read the Bible I know it says look at the log in your own eye before you look at your Brother's but now it is all about money they will do what ever they have to to keep their jobs, no matter who they hurt. It is so sad what this world is coming to


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

Hey Alfreta, can you imagine the thief on the cross talking about his life on earth when he got to heaven. "And how long did you follow the Lord?" "I think it was about three minutes but I'll never forget them." =:)


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you Lady_E, you're too kind for stopping over for the shared cup of coffee. And you're right about Tiger Woods and Chris Brown.

Right Black I like this statement that you made, "Those who are condemning others are just better at keeping the closet door shut," So thought provoking.

Pm, I agree that the world has become a world of voyeurs, and that's ashame.

Linda, I like this, " It is a shame that we humans are not able to forget the past;(we want to forget our own) but not someone elses," and I agree.

So true Sue, the gossip hounds don't care who they hurt.

Winsome, Interesting thought, umm.

Thank you all so kindly for stopping, reading and taking the time to leave a comment. Please stop again.


NamVetRich profile image

NamVetRich 6 years ago from Springfield Oregon

Fastfreta, great subject, and loads of wisdom. Wish everyone of those talk host, and editors, of all those rags they sell, would take heed to these words. Bravo!!!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks NamVetRich for stopping and leaving a comment, hope to see you again.


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 6 years ago from Canada

Ah, gossip is the death of everyone! It appears that media loves to gossip about people and their past, past transgressses and all the negativity. We should be focoussed on the good that has happened, the positive. If we can do that, then perhaps this world would take a step closer to becoming a better place for all. Thanks Fastfreta!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

I second that emotion, "We should be focused on the good that has happened, the positive." Ah, how refreshing the response has been to this hub. Thank you for stopping and that fine comment. See you soon.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you so much johnorton for those kind words, and thanks for stopping. Please come again soon.


msannec profile image

msannec 6 years ago from Mississippi (The Delta)

Thank you so much for sharing this one. I have struggled myself with people not letting go of my past mistakes. I am just learning to not let it stress me, because I can simply say to them, until you know my struggles and my pain, and what I had to deal with, you can't comment, and you can't judge me no matter what. I agree, let this stuff go and move on with life.


jj12 profile image

jj12 6 years ago from England

I really agree with this hub. What you say/do when young is shaped by the childhood you've had; people who've had a bad start in life can still learn and move on and the world should let them. Interviewers, though, are more interested in the ratings and gossip than in justice or interviewee's wellbeing.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Bravo to you msannec, for not letting this bother you, good attitude. Thank you for the input. Please stop over again soon.

Thank you jj12 for the validation. And I agree with you about the interviewers. Thank you very much for stopping and leaving a comment, hope to see you again soon.


djnuttall profile image

djnuttall 6 years ago from U.S.A.

fastfreta, Thanks for this hub! My past is far from shining and I have worked very hard to be a better person for the past 20 years. However, at times my children show such glaring results of the sins of my past.

It is harder to forget and forgive ones self when one has so deeply hurt and affected the ones we love the most!


hair2nv profile image

hair2nv 6 years ago from Huntsville, Alabama

I too know what it is like for people to hold on to something from your past. If we as a people would focus our energy and efforts towards abuse, hunger and crime this world would be a much better place. Thanks for putting these types of issues on our minds. GREAT HUB!!!!!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

So good to hear from you djnuttall. I think I understand where you're coming from, but just remember the past is the past, let it go. I'm sure most if not all have forgotten and forgiven you. And the ones that haven't, oh well. Look ahead, don't look back. Looking back could cause you to miss great adventures ahead. Hold your head up and look ahead to the wonderful things life has in store for you. Thanks for stopping and taking the time to leave a comment, please stop over again soon.

Welcome hair2nv, such a profound and insightful thought, thanks for taking time to read and leave that wonderful comment. I look forward to getting further acquainted with you. I'll see you soon.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Great hub Freta! People can be different. People can change. When you go through years of proving "your change" you have better shown that the change is possible. But anyone who repents and atones can have some credibility. Absolutely -I'm not the same man I was 40 years ago. Thank you Ma'am!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks once again Micky Dee, your comments were truly a validation of the thoughts in my hub, thanks, please come again soon.


Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

Bad news are Big news; scandal sells newspapers, magazines and the rest. Media decided that "we" want dirt and other people's misery will make "us" happy. It is all about what makes money and does not matter who getts hurt in the process.


Ann Nonymous profile image

Ann Nonymous 6 years ago from Virginia

Thank you freta for a very thought provoking, well written and expressed hub! Kudos for your stand and I agree with a lot you have said! Well done!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

So true Petra, if only they could understand that good news is just as entertaining, well at least to me, and I suspect to most of us. Thanks for taking time to read and leave a comment.

Thank you Ann for stopping by and reading. And I also appreciate the encouragement, you gave me through your comment. I'll see you soon.


embee77 profile image

embee77 6 years ago

Hi, FF - You sure struck a chord with a lot of folks on this topic! Who hasn't done something they wish they hadn't done? It's just mean to throw those things in the faces of the people we know. Celebrities? They do make their livelihoods in the public eye, but I just hate all the negative coverage about their personal lives. Someone raised the point of how hard it is to forget after we forgive. She is right, right, right. But I think it's the most important part of moving on. As hard as it is, it has to be done. Thanks for such a thoughtful hub.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you so much embee77 for taking the time to read and leave your kind comment. I do agree with you about the celebrities lives and their choices, and like you say the negative coverage is just too much. Thanks again for stopping, and please stop over again soon.


James McV Sailor profile image

James McV Sailor 6 years ago from Northern California

Unfortunately the only way that many people are able to feel good about themselves is by denegrating others. Learn perhaps from other's mistakes, but be careful about casting stones for people's failings, lest they be turned against you later.... ok that's way TOO deep! Good Hub, thanks, JM


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

I agree James that was deep, and thanks for that. And you're so right, life does have a way of reversing itself. Thanks for leaving that insightful comment. Come again soon.


Jamiehousehusband profile image

Jamiehousehusband 6 years ago from Derbyshire, UK

Yes totally agree, another movie star victim to this is Anthony Hopkins who gave up alcholism in 1975, 35 yrs ago and yet it haunts him and comes back to revisit despite him conquering this addiction! Yes throw stones but hey be careful! Great hub, thanks.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks Jamie for stopping and for the validation of my hub through your comment. Please stop again soon.


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

fastfreta- i feel like i know how these stars feel. I agree with you, let it go. you know my hubs, so i dont have to tell you about my spencer's little problem. I dont bring it up, if hes been doing well. However at the first sign of disagreement, he's quick to bring up my past. I agree with you. Let it go. My feeling is, if we keep living in the past, how can we have room to live in the now? never forget what has happened be it good or bad, life is full of lessons. You learn them, and keep the positive outcome with you. But there is no need to dwell. I think its horrible to ask someone if they are afraid their son will relive their mistakes. They should be asking if anything, "do you feel fortunate that your son is able to see past mistakes you made as so not to repeat them?" That is a much more tactful way to pose a not so tactful question. No one has any grace anymore. Everyones after the tough hard hitting questions. Everyone wants to jolt everyone into embarassment. Spencer said something interesting to me about all of the hollywood hooplah. He said he dosnt enjoy watching stars such as angelina joli anymore because he's heard too much about her personal life. Its true. You cant really get into the story and believe some of the actors/actresses anymore because all you can think about is thier recent adoption or crime, or public embarassment. Imagin if every thing weve ever done was put on a t-shit we had to wear around. No one would ever be able to have a conversation with us without a pre judgement. I like this hub, its a good topic and well written. Thought provoking, and it really got me thinking about how some of us cant seem to get past, well, our pasts and the pasts of others.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you so much, the pink umbrella, for your thoughtful and insightful comment. I totally agree with you when you said that knowing a persons personal life makes us look at them different. Again thanks, for stopping and leaving a very interesting comment. See you soon.


trish1048 profile image

trish1048 6 years ago

When I was a young, married woman, my husband would bring up my past boyfriends. It annoyed me so much that I reached a breaking point, telling him if he did it ever again, the marriage would be over.

Gratefully, we grew up and got past the jealousness and had a solid loving relationship.

So yes, having ones' past brought up over and over again is never a good thing. We've all done either bad or stupid things, and most have learned from that and have moved on. To be defined by negativity is simply put, cruel.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you trish1048 for sharing this insight into your life. Thanks also for taking the time to read and leave a comment. See you soon.


Ladybird33 profile image

Ladybird33 6 years ago from Georgia USA

This is a wonderful hub, creative and unique and I loved it. Plus, I agree with it completely. I always enjoy what I read from you! Hope you are well.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you Ladybird for that wonderful comment. And thank you for stopping and taking the time to read. Please stop again soon.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia

I agree. Many folks have been successful in turning their lives around. Everyone deserves a second chance!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks habee for stopping and taking the time to read and leave a comment, especially with your busy schedule of writing those five hubs a day, you brave girl. Thanks again for taking some time out and visiting me. See you soon.


ladydijay 6 years ago

Great interviews, I was able to get an overall picture of the past as well as present. I like Bridges, Downey and Hammer, I wish them all well.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks ladydijay for visiting and taking the time to leave a comment. See you real soon.

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