Yes We Scam! B.S. We Can Believe In! Obama Approval Plummets

Barack Hussein Obama's approval rating has reached its lowest level yet, with the majority of Americans finally agreeing that the President's handling of the economy can be best compared to...

  • If it was a nuclear physicist it would be Heidi Montag
  • If it was a bridge it would be the Tacoma Narrows
  • If it was a movie it would be a double feature of Heaven's Gate and Adventures Of Pluto Nash
  • If it was a marketing strategy it would be New Coke
  • If it was an operating system it would be Microsoft Bob (heck, not even Vista)
  • If it was a Playboy centerfold it would be Gabourey Sidibe
  • If it was an encyclopaedia it would be a Tweet
  • If it was a loyal husband it would be Tiger Woods (or Jesse James)
  • If it was a nun it would be Lindsay Lohan
  • If it was a saint it would be Mel Gibson
  • If it was a diplomat it would be Qur'an burner Terry Jones
  • If it was a winnable war it would be Afghanistan
  • If it was a taxpayer it would be Wesley Snipes
  • If it was a responsible corporate citizen it would be BP
  • If it was a cruise ship it would be the Titanic
  • If it was a safe city it would be Baghdad
  • If it was a Mensa convention it would be Jersey Shore

  • If it was a diet plan it would be The Food Network
  • If it was a Marine it would be Gomer Pyle
  • If it was an innocent man it would be O.J. Simpson
  • If it was peace conference it would be The Jerry Springer Show
  • If it was a beautiful tropical city it would be Buffalo (Cleveland? Detroit?)
  • If it was a space launch it would be the Challenger
  • If it was a talented starlet it would be Tila Tequila
  • If it was a rain forest it would be the Mojave
  • If it was a dollar store it would be Saks Fifth Avenue
  • If it was a beach town it would be Denver
  • If it was a great Quarterback it would be JaMarcus Russell (Ryan Leaf anyone?)
  • If it was a SuperBowl team it would be the Detroit Lions
  • If it was a TV network promotional strategy it would be Leno at 10
  • If it was a great governor it would be Blago
  • If it was a great actor it would be Arnold (actually you could fit the previous title here too)
  • If it was a computer tablet it would be the Apple Newton
  • If it was a high school cheerleader it would be Betty White
  • If it was a website it would be
  • If it was a world-changing transportation system it would be the Segway
  • If it was a great car it would be a Trabant
  • If it was a great CEO it would be Steve Ballmer
  • If it was a video game it would be Duke Nukem
  • If it was a killer global pandemic it would be H1N1 Swine Flu
  • If it was an apocalyptic end of civilization it would be Y2K

and worst of all…

  • If it was a fantastic blogging platform it would be Squidoo

All of this is not surprising at all to any shrewd observers (or regular readers of my Hubs) as it was obvious in the first few days of the Presidential campaign that Mr. Obama was going to work his wonders on the economy with precisely the same 5 step plan that every other Communist head of state since time immemorial has implemented:

  • Put out the fire with gasoline
  • Tax the middle class out of existence
  • Nationalize everything in sight
  • Cripple every business from lemonade stands to multinationals
  • Apply the macroeconomic savvy of a kindergarten dropout

Ah yes, fine reader. Uncle Hal has been telling you all this and warning you that you were embarked on the Road To Hell while you were still fistpumping Yes We Can and auguring in the age of Change We Can Believe In. About a year and a half down the road it's finally dawning on all but the most brainwashed and profoundly ignorant knee jerk Obama supporters that it's Yes We Scam! B.S. We Can Believe In!

Was any of this surprising in any way, shape, or form? Barack Hussein Obama was raised in the most Marxist environment since Fidel. How stupid were you, kind American reader, to think that he was a centrist? He's not even a centrist Communist! Heck, even Hugo Chavez commented that he wouldn't have had the cojones to nationalize General Motors! And anyone who is to the left of ol' Hugo is not just beyond redemption, but a superlative candidate for the gulag.

So… are you going to listen to Uncle Hal from now on??? Remember, Uncle Hal is always right!

More by this Author

Comments 19 comments

Wanderlust profile image

Wanderlust 6 years ago from New York City

Very funny! LOL! Yes, Uncle Hal, you are always right!

Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

Thank you for your kind words and for your acknowledgment of REALITY! :)

drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

You are really on a roll, Hal, with your comparisons of Obumma's economics skills. I would have laughed even more if the comparisons hadn't been so accurate and therefore tragic.

Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

Yes, the scope of this tragedy is Shakespearean indeed... and 330 million people are the victims of the tragedy. :(

SheriSapp profile image

SheriSapp 6 years ago from West Virginia

Did you actually compose that entire list by yourself? Even if you borrowed it elsewhere, thank you so much for sharing. I LOVE this hub, glad I stopped to take a read. Too bad for America that there are STILL BO kool-aid drinkers who will NEVER face the reality that this man is an unqualified, inexperienced, inept SOCIALIST who truly despises everything about this nation!!

Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

Hi SheriSapp, yup, I usually come down pretty hard on Hub plagiarists so this all came out of my very skewed noggin. And I couldn't have nailed Obama's true nature better than you just did. Congratulations!

sheila b. profile image

sheila b. 6 years ago

What a great list of comparisons! A fun read but oh so true and a tragedy for us.

Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

I would have loved nothing better to report on real progress that is being made by the new Administration, but given their thoroughly Marxist Madness, this is only the tip of the iceberg. The next two and a half years will be when the true tragedy unfolds. :(

American Romance profile image

American Romance 6 years ago from America

Ok I need a nap to recoup! Whew, but glad I got through it! Funny stuff!

Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

A nap is a good idea. Obama's put the US economy into a nap... no... more like a coma! :)

Dave Paulson 6 years ago

Oh yeah it's all Obama's fault -- what a completely uninformed moronic waste of time! Thanks for adding to the misinformation.

Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

Yes, Obama is a completely uninformed moronic waste of time. I'm glad we agree. :)

Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

Curlyfester! I think your lines are hilarious but I can't publish them. Edit out the non-family friendly terms (remember that Hubpages is a very "All Audiences" site) and I'll be glad to run your comment!

curlyfester 6 years ago

I forgot what I wrote. I was riffin'!

Oh - remembered one, how about... "If conservatism were an Alaskan Governor pregnant with a Down's Syndrome baby, it wouldn't get an abortion so it could be sure at least ONE of it's children would vote republican!"


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

OK, fortunately I didn't delete it yet. Here it is CENSORED! (No kiddin' dude... I've had Hubs pulled because of language... Gotta be careful around here!) :)


Ha. Ha.

Right back atcha!

If conservatism were a chef, it'd be Jeffrey Dahmer.

If conservatism were a movie, it'd be "Turd Gobblers III".

If conservatism were a vehicle, it'd be an SUV 'cuz that's the only one big enough to CENSORED it's morbidly obese sister in the backseat of!

If conservatism were a smell, it'd be greasy, crusty, unwashed CENSORED.

If conservatism were a religion, it's spiritual toddler adherents would have a walking dead zombie messiah in the form of a Baby Jesus security blanket to cling to in hopes of protection from that existential monster in the closet. Oh, wait - that religion's already taken.

If conservatism were a President, it would CENSORED in it's adult diapers... and be named Ronald Reagan.

If conservatism were your momma, she'd be so fat I'd burn my ass on the light bulb when I climbed on top of her.

If conservatism were a pit bull wearing lipstick, unlike other pit bulls it wouldn't have the decency to eat it's defective young.

If conservatism were a mother pregnant with a Down's Syndrome baby, it wouldn't get an abortion because it would want to make sure at least ONE of it's children voted Republican.

If conservatism were a child molester, it'd be... still conservatism!

Your turn!

curlyfester 6 years ago

I'd write more comebacks, but I had to stop to go and pick up my unemployment check to buy some more drugs before burning a flag after soaking it in kerosene and aborted fetuses at a gay atheist's wedding...

curlyfester 6 years ago

By the way - thanks for the extra effort getting me on the "family" stage. We should put our heads together and make an CENSORED of ourselves!

Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

Hey, that gay atheist happens to be a close personal friend and I think that fetus belonged to our lesbian friend Butch! :) However, since you're burning the flag, I have no choice but to make a citizen's arrest. Put your hands behind your back and come along quietly. :)

BTW, can we split that unemployment check? :)

Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto Author

Good one, curly. Unpublishable anywhere but the Dr. Laura / Mel Gibson / Michael Richards blogs, but good one! :)

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    Click to Rate This Article