A Nation without Humour

A Nation without Humour

A nation without humour is like a falcon with feathers plucked to scantiness, not able to fly far. The bench mark to determine the level of wits of the people of a nation is in how sharp are they in humour and cheeriness about them. The humour has a great social function to play and is the building block of the good temperament of a nation and a people.

Once, the Prophet of Islam Hazrat Mohammad Mustufa SAWW and Hazrat Ali Als were eating dates together. The Prophet was placing the seeds of the dates he ate before Hazrat Ali and good many seeds gathered before Hazrat Ali and there were none in front of the Prophet. The Prophet said to Hazrat Ali, ‘Ya Ali you so liked the dates that you ate so much of the dates.’ On that Hazrat Ali said to the Prophet, ‘Ya Akhi and you so much liked the dates that you even did not leave seeds of the dates.’ So humour was that which had a place in the sittings of the Prophets and the Walis.

But what to talk of a nation where there is only bickering, stern face and no humour to entertain the self. The Pakistan People’s Party has by far the largest vote bank in the country but the smallest amount of say in the press and the publication sector of the country and is the whipping boy of the self assumed righteous and what more those gravid with hypocritical humour in the country have streamed lined them on the screen of follies and positioned them in rows fuming distrust to castigate them of worthlessness, giving them very little say in affairs of morality and misaligning them with the bulk of the army generals and the judiciary and the bureaucracy. And to top all that, its voters were a peevish lot and were slogged for most part of the national history, though they had the best Caesars, but the nation wanted not to use them and remain without humour. The cause was because the fire brand ethnic politicians of the PML N topping in tirade dominated the grain basket of the nation, and the PML Q just following them in their share with its General Secretary Mushahid Husain forwarding bizarre suggestions among his burst of Hee, Hee to Imran Khan to get a Sherwani made for the prime minister ship in the coming general election way back in the early days of the government, with loud speculation; the Prime Minister Ship will be falling in his lap, three years before its due. The humour of Mushahid Husain is Hee Hee - not a scientific prologue or finale like of the entire nation.

The PPP have a coat of Sindh Saeen cult, not of the Punjab Burduck – bombast kind and no stomach for tirade, only vehement protest and only tin-smithing like trade aptitude and no stance for propaganda campaign. And the stampede of the Islamic parties including Tahreek-e Insaf and such parties has cut its teeth in dramatising events, no humour only exploitation. And of the fieriest are the electronic media, where such anchors are ruling the scene in making propaganda as Dr Shahid Masood and panellists as Safdar Abbasi and Ansar Abbasi. And Javed Chaudhari, Kashif Abbasi, Hamid Mir are riding the punctured bicycle of the propaganda. Then on the column writer’s side, Haroonul Rashid, and Ziaul Haque Qasmi and Irfan Siddiqui and you name them are setting the trend in acrimonious writing. They have lent to the nation twisted truth that ought not to be told but are told and the poor public has to listen to all the diatribe from them. They cry foul presenting rumours against the government to the outside press beyond the borders of the country, who are their unknowing victims.

When Asif Ali Zardari, recently as President of Pakistan visited England from 3rd August to the 8th of August, such hostile press emerged, prattling against him as was never seen before in the history of England - Pakistan relations. Such blatant insult flung on a foreign dignitary was not a trait of the British legacy, but it was done in unison across the horizon of England. As if they were hit by the Goebbels propaganda machine who said, ‘if you speak lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it’, they were the unknowing victims, pray not the pathetic nation. Joseph Goebbels was Reich Propaganda Leader of the Nazi Party and shield of Hitler. The President of Pakistan under this spell of propaganda was treated with such prankster’s display of silliness as shoe in tray and taunts and gibes as Mr. ten percent – a commission he may have taken sometime in business deal, since he is a vigorous businessman besides being a politician, but dishonest no! And a commission without hurting the client and not at the cost of the client is Halal, like the doctor’s private practice, or the professor’s private tuition classes, or the Prince’s private engagement with private business. .

The cartoonists was crude and showed a shocking cartoon where the Honourable Prime Minister of Great Britain is cadgingly presenting a shocking shoe placed in the middle of a tray to the President of Pakistan and Anchors like Kashif Abbasi were all glee for it, not seeing the depth in it. And the shoe thrower about whom the reporter Ahmad Ali Sayed said:

‘The moment he bent to remove his shoe, the near sitting PPP worker ‘Gobi’ sensed his intention and kicked at his hand when he was throwing the shoe and the interception hindered his hand and his shoe jumped in the air towards the ceiling and made a small trajectory - a parabolic excursion and landed not far from the thrower and the man was caught and led out, the police took him away.’

But the News Reader on the ARY TV, the milk sipping - the tippy lad modified Ahmad Ali Sayed’s words and put out of his mouth words that said; ‘the shoe thrown could not reach to the stage.’ It was clearly perceptible to the TV viewers that the News Reader was twisting and blatantly fabricating the reported version then and there on the screen right in front of the audience. This is unpardonable dishonesty with the people - a Khyanat – embezzlement. And the honourable ARY TV Channel should sack immediately such a lying News Reader, but it is feared the ARY will not do so. Their News Readers do it every day and get paid for it. The shoe in the massive speech was such a non significant event that in the hall there was no commotion and the speech of the President continued in the Convention Centre in Birmingham for one hour uninterrupted.

In fact the entire hostile media and the political parties were all glee at the abusive language used by the British Press to Asif Ali Zardari, disregarding he was their country’s President who was humiliated. But they were glee because it was done on their beckoning. The sinister smile on Kashif Abbasi’s face was spread from one corner of the mouth to the other and still he wanted to do better but for the limitation God had placed on the capacity to stretch mouth. Such display of shocking press behaviour is unprecedented and getting worst day by day. There is no self restraint, no self control and no self discipline. Journalists have never heeded to the father of the nation’s motto of Unity, Faith and Discipline and they have lost all credit in the eyes of the people whose humour is alive to distinguish between hate and a genuine spirit taking up reform. They are no more a respectable institution but a rogue organisation trying to undo what the middle educated vote bank did installing Zardari as President. And the journalists and the news readers do not read the Aayet 2.237: ......Wa laa tansawul fazla baynakum – and forget not reverences among yourselves. So actually the fight was between the good hearted middle educated rural classes and the vicious, tough educated media men. And truly speaking it is the lack of humour with the press and their begotten mind that they are ready to criticise the government on anything and everything to pull it down.

A Nation where the Prime Minister is picked for wearing smart suits and where the President of the country is criticised for lodging him in a 2500 Pound Sterling suite a day in a five star hotel, where its humour will stand and where its ego will have gone - decimated and dissipated in the thin air. Sardar Jamal Laghari, a man of the PML Q on hearing that President Asif Ali Zardari’s hotel suite bill is 2500 £s a day, shot his eyes out and screamed that much! So much so that the young Anchor Badami conducting the show had to say, you are jumping with such surprise even at that low priced suite; did you expect him to lodge in a Sara-ay - a manor house on his state visit? And Munauwar Husain of the Jamat Islami on hearing Asif Ali Zardari went to his chateau to visit it in a helicopter, shouted what he had never heard he owned a chateau in France as well. These exasperations show the national character most likes to deal in trivialities.

In fact all this tension is a fine gift to the country which started at the splash of the news by the Prime Minister of Great Britain in New Delhi where he said, ‘Pakistan is exporting terrorism to foreign countries.’ His outspokenness could not be digested by the country although its truth could not be denied. But the country is so way gone living in the world of false ego and the deceptive belief of we are best that the army, the right wing political parties, the press all went berserk about it. The ISI stopped its tour of England and Nawaz directly demanded from the President not to go to England, and the fire of hate spread against Zardari when he nevertheless continued with his trip. As it happened the country was hit by the worst flood in its history, and a good excuse came in the hand of the press to spill venom against the President. This is called opportunism, they grabbed the opportunity, hitting below the belt and our press have no shame doing that. Whereas if Zardari had not gone on his tour of the west, he could not have made the statement: ‘The international community, which Pakistan belongs to is in the process of losing the war against the Taliban.’ He further said: The war is failing because “we have lost the battle for hearts and minds.”

The press and the media have miserably failed in recognising their leader and it is because they are not sincere. Asif Ali Zardari says he twice saved Pakistan, once he says, when he said ‘Khappay’ and once God knows when, he must know, was it when he formed the coalition government and packed up the military rule. But it is true he is one leader who has head on locked horns with the army and tried to contain their power and was successful to a greater degree, because of his timed action and no other leader has done that. And the truth is no army is needed in the country if the law is stronger. All that Pakistan needed to firm up its feet on the slippery ground made treacherous by the Taliban, Sipah-e Sahaba, Jaish-e Mohammad, Lashkar-e Jhangvi, Jundulla, Lashkar-e Tayba, and you name them, is to start public execution of the terrorist as soon as he is caught. This includes terrorists like the Punjab Law Minister Rana Sana Ullah who should be the first to be executed since he is openly supporting the terrorist organisation of the Sipah Sahaba. And the Chief justice who sets free the terrorist on the excuse that not sufficient proof was presented for his sentence, should be openly executed, since he knows that the crime was committed by him. After that all the terror will subside in Pakistan and there will be peace. And the Prime Minister of Britain will not have to say what he said about Pakistan.

Infact Pakistan should be thankful to the Prime Minister of Great Britain for putting the truth on a plate and pin pointing the malaise. My letter to the daily telegraph dated 2.8.2010, headed ‘David Cameron Speaking’ after his statement is given here that I sent by email. I am a Pakistani, but not an ISI member.

‘Mr. David Cameron is a courageous and an honest man. He warned Pakistan they will not be allowed to look both ways in the fight against terrorism. It was high time someone told them point blank. Some Lt Gen of the ISI is angry, the political parties are angry, now MQM included. They are in the same boat as PMLN trying to buy enmity of Britain for Taliban. The media men like Hamid Mir have more fully exposed them as pro Taliban and enemy of Pakistan. These people have a faith deficiency; they are half Muslim half Taliban and first class hypocrites. In Pakistan nothing will change, the weed if once cut grows again unless it is uprooted. The need is to introduce there Fiqah Jafaria -the Shia faith fundamentals in which Justice is the second principle of faith (and there is no terrorism in their system).’

It is surprising how much similar words were written by the Time Magazine in its July 26 issue about David Cameron. ‘Britons disinclined to trust their politicians farther than they can throw them are beginning to realise their new Prime Minister is a man of his word.’

I have no inhibition to admit I support Zardari and this is so since his appearance on TV in the first government of BB. He talked about the MOUs and his business contact adventures for Pakistan and the industrial plan for the country. He was elaborative and excellent, this convinced me of his capability, especially so since his Urdu was absolutely first class. And if you truly want to judge the goodness of a man, listen to what his children say about him. Zardari’s son who is Chairman of the PPP says, ‘My idol is my father’. And he said that when Zardari was not even President of the country, let alone his ably handling the presidential responsibility. When Michael Jackson suddenly died with the over doze of injection for sleep in 2009, his little daughter came on the TV and she sobbed uncontrollably and said he was the best father and that put the seal of goodness on the character of Michael Jackson.

And I say Zardari is the fittest man as the leader but what to do with the pseudo journalists; they are whipped and are foamiest by the prejudice which is haunting them and are the educated urbanised illiterate of the country. Zardari at that time spoke crisp Urdu, each word standing out demanding attention but since that time they slashed his tongue and his delivery of words has gone sluggish. And Punjab is consistently sheltering the criminal – the policeman who is wanted in Sindh for trial on this account; such is the indiscipline in the country.

Zardari when he first came to the presidential house as President used to have a big smile sitting on his face but the press and media robbed it. They are such vampire who do not drink blood because it is Haram but satiate them with the pleasure of the injuries they inflict on someone’s reputation and they think it is no crime, they are such hardened criminals. It is Gheebat to run down someone in some ones’ absence. The wise are those sinners who if they did a sin get their score of retribution settled and reduced in this world through their amendments and apologies and Taubah rather than carry the buredn to the world of the hereafter. Otherwise the punishment there in the hereafter is severe and permanent. The Zoroastrians believe in the limits of the period of punishment, but the Islam does not say so. The punishment is permanent and for that reason the Muslims must be careful and follow the rule of conduct set by Islam. They robbed Zardari’s famous smile that could be seen at the doors of the Ten Downing street, at the Elyse Palace, at the meeting with the Governor Sarah Pauline in America , but none of these smiles were carried by the Pakistan news papers, they are such formidable haters of humour. For God sake the nation builders must realise first they have to be honest and to be that they have to be honest starting from being honest in little things.

And a good dress though the decorum of the office is pricking to the journalists. Zardari introduced the cult of dress etiquettes in the country. He wore decent dress to cheer up places and give the impression that a forward looking nation he was moving in and the Indian Journalist said, ‘now we shall see some good dresses worn in Islamabad’, but this does not suit the dreary Shahid Masood, he every third day taunted at the suits of the Prime Minister Yusuf Raza Gilani. This journalist is so childish, but placed as Managing Director what will be the fate of the corporation he is leading. He is master of nonsensical talks bringing in trivialities to score a point and on little things invites Martial Law to come and sit on the presidential chair. And he is spokesman of ‘Media’; such is the humour of the country’s press and the media.

They aught first get educated in morality, and the faith they follow be given a polish and that is only possible at the Hauza Ilmi of Qum or Najaf-e Ashraf. And better they go to the nearest Qum. Each journalist should be sent there for a one year course, before he takes up journalism. And journalism is service to God. They should forget they are Sunnis; the rule is, go to obtain knowledge if it be to China. And of all these journalists Dr Amir Liaquat Hussain should be the first one to be sent there. His writing is so full of bitterness and sarcasm and assumptions. He thinks the Imam Kaaba’s prayer goes straight to the high skies and immediately touches the kindness of God and returns with basket full of it. But Roedad Khan must go there on priority, poor thing he is so gloomy and stuck for words, and so should Haroonul Rashid who shouts from behind a damaged diaphragm of his sound box and not one word intelligible in what he writes, and Ansar Abbasi the mein mein but never stopping not hurting someone and Dr Safdar Abbasi the self assumed righteous wizard, and Irfan Siddique the Hajji with no trip to Arafat and the casual communist writer Dr Mubashshir Hasan the pathetic tall man who has to search for wise words. He though is not Sunni but no better in journalism than them.

The dress is so important that as in other things the Americans make effort and lead the world in this vogue concertedly. The oval house dress regalia are no less than of the emperors in their court and what beauty they are mastering from behind the dress for the world to see. The picture of the President Barak Husain Obama and the Vice President Joe Biden and the office Martial is seen in the picture (p.43, May 24, 2010 – Time Magazine) also seen in the picture is the decorum of the corridor they are walking in. At least some country has vision and they are doing it for making the world look prettier. And if it was not for our Queen of England, it will be counted a lackey in dressing up since after the revolution in Iran. They have squarely abandoned neck tie. But wait our new Prime Minister David Cameron and his impressive wife are no less a contributor to the glamour in dressing and the tidiness of appearance. A smile is also an asset, it betrays confidence and that also they have. And the good dress is needed since it spoons out cheeriness, sheds confidence, authorises the giving of directives and depicts country’s image.

The God-marked leader of Islam, the Wali-ay Aazam gave the presents of victories in battles and cheery dispositions and valour and impeccable standards of piety and Godliness and that was the person of Ali and he did not need take aid of good dresses, his dress was the extreme of Taqwa and abysmal purity that wearing itself on him head to toe, depicting God armiger. And in all likeness and in face of that Godliness not achievable by the lesser beings, the best aid was the best dress to hide the body bumps and the spiritual deficiencies for the lesser performers who were cornered to wearing first degree dresses to enforce their authority. And that was needed to keep the nation in good humour.

But the nation is in the throes of pathetic turmoil. It has only five calls a day for prayer and has no guts to reduce it to three calls as the Shias do and the time saved and devoted to other prayers related with the state. It has not even one play enacted on the stage, not one sport event organised even to commemorate the 14th of August. Gone is the sack race it never failed not to make the spectators laugh. And there was the large wheel, large spokes bicycle, never failing to raise awe in the spectators and then the walk on the taught rope with balancing pole in hand and the fight with the pillow on the pole bar and the bull ride race and the mule ride race. These simple sports made the spectators laugh and made them cheered up and the atmosphere livened. God does not forbid you not do that; even Jamat Islami will yield to that.

The 14th of August, and the birthday of the Qaed-e Azam come and go and no sweet meats are distributed. The national days pass without presents given by the government to the nation, where is government generosity and government contribution to cheeriness. The government should open standard Sweet Meat Factories and vouch-safe the taste and the flavour of the sweat meat, give presents and export, but not these tasteless as of the profiteers Ambala of England. And stop Punjab tardy stooges befooling the nation with the Sasti Roti project. This stunt for cheap publicity is a waste of money; it shows bankruptcies of ideas. We don’t want a worried face Chief Minister, for humaneness sake let him smile and that will be possible only after he severs relations with Sipah-e Sahaba.

And equally bankrupt in ideas are the journalists and the reporters. They only collect complaints from the public for presentation and filling TV time and the higher the number the better. They indirectly air disgruntlement in people, never mind if they are earning God’s wrath. They indirectly encourage and arouse discontent in the people. In Birmingham the reporter takes a long interview with the Taliban who has all in all a criminal record. He is Nang-e Fesad – the rascality personified, who tried to throw a shoe at the President of Pakistan during his address in Birmingham. In the interview this Nang-e Fesad says: ‘If you picked one shoe each they will run away.’ ‘They come to the photo session they are shame for us’. And the press in Pakistan went berserk eulogising the shoe thrower showing their moral decadence in journalism. Their duty was they should have highlighted the address of the President which had national level message, but they were only concerned with the scandalising of the President of the country for supposedly facing a shoe thrower.

This was time; the President being a Muslim country ruler banned the entry of this shoe thrower in the country. This Najis Nang-e Fesad should not be allowed in the country and should be banished and the decree should be issued with immediate tag. And British and American governments should be asked to cooperate and the man should be ejected from Britain and sent to the Guantanamo Bay camp cells in Cuba or he should be given an injection to clean his brain and he should be made a guinea pig for general injection to be developed for the brain corrections of the Taliban.

The precedent of banishing is present in Islam. When in Medina Hakam Bin Abil-As started mimicking the Prophet SAWW, the Prophet banished Hakam from Medina. And if it was not for the violation by Hazrat Usman Bin Affan the third Caliph of Islam, bringing him back to Madina, he would have never dared enter in Medina. And the equivalent of Usman Bin Affan in violating the edict of the Prophet SAWW are those today who are clapping at the act of the Nang-e Fesad – the shoe thrower and pulling down the society standards. The psychic of the news readers and the journalists is recounting the history of the shoe throwing, as if these were the acts of great merit and achievements of oneness and merited discussing and showing on the TV.

The British press also have sufficiently disgraced them. Instead of welcoming a foreign guest, they were showing their jeers to him when he never gave a reason to them to behave abnormally and the British police also discredited it and let off the miscreant without charging him for disorderliness. Are standards slipping in Britain? Is humour being thrown away?

On their home front in Pakistan, the Press, Media and the Journalists are working against the law of nature; they are spreading discontent, hate, doubt and restlessness, with sugar-coated wickedness in the name of journalism, stirring up and fomenting trouble in the country behind their trumpeted right to present truth, but that is to topple the government ‘and the least they care about their duty to good citizenship. They are violators of Sharia and still want Sharia implemented. The nation is at a loss, losing direction and becoming a pessimist state day by day under their influence.

And what do the ISI know save making long march on the terrains with boots laced to their feet. And even if they know the ABC of politics, they better keep mum, till they retire. It is unprofessional for them to be professional in politics. Out of the Army’s 520,000 men, how many they are is not known, but they have earned a bad name in all the countries of the world, already so many inquiries in money distribution and spoiling natural election results is pending against them. And look at their merit and behaviour, if some Prime Minister is prompted and is blunt and tells them not to do swagging, then instead of taking note and correcting them, they raise hue and cry and like a spoiled child refuse to hold meeting with his countrymen and retard timetable. They are paid to comply and not to formulate edicts and national policies. They are supposed to remain disciplined and not vagabonding. And this is because of the continued belligerence not to accept the central government rule over them. Is not the leadership of Zardari working? What evidence is there it is not working that they will not accept central leadership?

For the first time Zardari has created a national consensus government. For the first time Zardari has challenged the breakaway tendency of the army from the obedience to the central government. For the first time the central government has clearly and unequivocally told the Supreme Court Chief Justice that he is wrong in demanding placing the fate of the country President in the foreign country’s court jurisdiction.

However with all that positivity about President Asif Ali Zardari, he must realise his body parts are not his own once he is dead, the body is not touchable unless permitted by the wards, his successors. If the wards disallow parts to be removed from the body that cannot happen. And Zardari cannot be so scheming as to die in a place where his organ is immediately screwed out of him in his dead state and it is a hypothetical case to say take my organ when I am dead. So President Asif Ali Zardari is a consciously clever man and has earned publicity free of cost and he is a cruel politician, leaving people guessing and aghast.

But on organ donation there are split opinions among the Shia and Sunni jurisprudents and to keep them aghast and guessing, Zardari should half the time pray in public with hands folded and half the time hands dropped and half the time he should prostrate on Sijdegah and half the time please the Sunnis and do as they do. The Sunnis prostrate on carpet in spite of the Prophet SAWW prostrated on earth or on Khumra – palm leaves mat. And they are losing their majority in the world for not doing what exactly the Prophet SAWW did. Our respectable President is advised not to consult on these issues the third species the Taliban, their verdict will not be authentic as they do not know Sharia, because if they did they will not blow them up to kill others.


Sayed Athar Husain

Afkar-e Shia (Shia Thought)


August 17, 2010


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