Domestic strife in the White House. Why Barack Obama is looking tired.

Why is he looking so old and tired?

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The truth is in here

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Marriage problems hinder Obama campaign

In the most recent presidential debate, it was noticed by most commentators that the president of the United States was looking a bit tired. There were noticeable bags under his eyes and there was a distinct lack of sparkle in his formerly silvery tongued debating skills. The previously robotic Mitt Romney was able to run rings round him. People have been asking how this could come to be. What has happened, that the once dynamically pristine Barack Obama, is starting to look distinctly frayed at the edges? Is it worry over the state of the economy and the continued high level of unemployment that is etching the lines on the face of the president? Perhaps he is losing sleep over the problem of the Iranian nuclear program? Maybe the ghosts of dead Pakistani children, killed by his drones, are disturbing his slumber? I have to tell you that it is none of the above. The reason why Barack Obama is starting to look more like Jacob Marley's ghost, than the all-powerful president of the United States, is because of domestic disharmony in the presidential residence. Michelle and Barack are arguing and the reason for this has got nothing to do with who will do the washing up in the White House, or any of the usual issues that can cause problems in any marital relationship. The plain fact of the matter is that the increasingly, Tomcat behaviour of Barack is causing embarrassment to his wife and the people who surround them.

There is a background to this. I'm not going to go into it fully here. The book, The Zombie, the Cat and Barack Obama, explains completely the ancestry of Barack Obama and how his grandfather is a shape-shifting alien cat. It is the feline characteristics of the president that is causing the ructions in his marriage and may yet fatally compromise his ability to turn back the flow of the American voters to the Mormon moron.

If you're fortunate enough to be invited into the private quarters of the first family in the White House, the first thing you would notice is the scratches on all the furniture. The culprit here is the president. He just can't stop sharpening his claws on the upholstery. He actually totally shredded a three-piece suite after a meeting with Benjamin Netanyahu and he demolished the marital bed after one particularly stressful encounter, with the almost equally catty Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

It's not just his tendency to ruin the furniture that is causing the rift with Michelle. There is also the issue of his stripy tail. The most noticeable feline appendage that Barack Obama possesses is a long stripy tail, which he keeps hidden in his trousers. Unfortunately for his relationship with his spouse, he did not reveal the secret of his furry ancestry to his intended until after they were married. The result was that his stripy tail was revealed in all its glory for the first time on their wedding night. It was a shock that Michelle has never fully recovered from. To be faced with the prospect of your husband tickling you with his tail every night, when all you want to do is go to sleep, can be wearing for even the most compliant of wives.

The greatest cause of friction between the presidential couple is Barack's habit of marking his territory throughout the house. When he is not leaving scratch marks all over the place, he is spraying everywhere. He just can't help it. That's what un- neutered tomcats do. The smell is simply awful. It's not the stench of corruption that besmirches the Obama administration. It’s the stench of cat spray.

Anyway, things have reached such a pitch that there is a serious possibility of the marriage breaking down. The strain of having to replace the furniture continuously, not to speak of tickling tails and the necessity of wearing clothes pegs on her nose, is putting a severe strain on the temper of the fragrant Michelle Obama. Barack is getting worried as well. Last week he saw her in the kitchen. She was singing Three blind mice and fingering a carving knife. How long can the stripy tail stay attached?


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Comments 18 comments

carol7777 profile image

carol7777 4 years ago from Arizona

One just wonders. Though some humor here...well we will see Tuesday night.


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

Tuesday will be the decider alright Carol. Thanks for reading.


johndnathan profile image

johndnathan 4 years ago from Dallas, Texas. USA

Aha! It all makes sense now. That explains the debate. I could've sworn I saw his pants leg flapping around. My roommate assured me that was just an air conditioning vent. My roommate must be a secret alien cat sympathizer. I just hope they don't discover this before it's t...........


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

Hi John. I reckon your roomie is definitely in league with the cat aliens.

That would explain why he tried to turn you away from knowing the truth.

I hope the foreshortened last sentence doesn't indicate that he realises you suspect him. That would mean that you are probably dead, or halfway to Guantanamo. Either would be bad.


johndnathan profile image

johndnathan 4 years ago from Dallas, Texas. USA

It's okay. I turned his PC to the Nyan cat page at the last minute. I think that'll keep him busy for the next year or so.


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

That's a relief.


Gypsy Willow profile image

Gypsy Willow 4 years ago from Lake Tahoe Nevada USA , Wales UK and Taupo New Zealand

There's got to be some explanation for his performance. Your tail is quite feasible!


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

Hi Gypsy Willow.

I think it is the fear of the carving knife that is bothering him the most.

Poor Barack!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

Christopher I always believe every word you say! lol! so funny as usual, thanks for the laugh! wonder if Romney has a tail?! voted up and hub shared! nell


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

Hi Nell.

If he does have one it must be tripping him up as he walks after last night's debate.

Thanks for reading.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

Well, now I understand everything, christopher. Thanks for your erudite explanation. Congrats on your new book. I shall hasten to Amazon to explore it for myself.

Note of caution: beware of any large black SUVs parked near your place day and night. That could be a bad sign.


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

Thanks for the warning drbj. It's resident's parking only here, so unless the CIA want to pay big fines or get clamped or towed away, they had better not come round.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

Is it just me or does Mitt Romney look like something out of American Dad? lol!


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

I've never seen that programme Nell. If there was a programme called "American Dick", he'd be a ringer.


Max 4 years ago

he looks like President Bush it make me sick watch Alex Jone on this and you will find out more


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

Hi Max.

If you are sick, it's probably from watching that sicko, Alex Jones.


Reynold Jay profile image

Reynold Jay 3 years ago from Saginaw, Michigan

Very funny! I'm only toying with the idea of a novel where an autistic impaired eight year old savant fixed upon politics decides the president is a traitor to his country and catches the attention of the public on the internet. Top lawyers get involved and soon the president is hauled before Congress with impeachement proceedings etc.


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 3 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom Author

That should be a very interesting book Reynold. I'm sure you will do it very well.

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