I was reading a book not so long ago regarding rivalries and divisions among women. It seems that the mean girl culture does not only apply to tween and teen girls but also us grown women. There are some women who are happy that other women in their lives succeed and generally lead fulfilling lives while there are other women who would tear their compatriots at a drop of a hat whether it is in church, work, and/or in other environments.
hmmm......i'd call that insecurity and socially stunted behaviour. i don't personally know any women like that....and if i did run into 'the mean girl culture', i'd be aware only for a moment as i walked on by............
Yeah, I've run across this in adult life about as much as I had in teenage life. Thankfully, I was able to get away from those with that type of toxic personality. In a lot of ways, that attitude is encouraged in a lot of circles.
I figured it stems from insecurity and ineffective coping mechanisms. Regardless of the cause, I'm with SomewayOuttaHere, best to avoid those types of people until they can figure out a better way of building themselves up.
It never ends... I have run into more of these woman than I care to count. The thing is that when you come across men with these antisocial mannerisms they usually use them to crush competitors in business or possibly sports. "Mean women" on the other hand take far more into account than direct competitors. They like to crush anyone around them that could potentially be a threat to their perceived standing in society, anyone they think looks better than themselves in whatever way, anyone they think is capable of stealing their lovers (even if they've shown no interest whatsoever in doing so.) It's as if all other women become threats to them. I call these women toxic and I stay the Hell away from them and their female family members because I often find the apple doesn't fall from the tree.
I see it happening on my facebook wall every day between Ladies I went to school with over 10 years ago.
Well thank goodness we don't have any mean girls on the Hubpages forum. Wouldn't it be dreadful to have grown women insulting other grown women whom they don't even know except through their online personas?
Beat me to it Empress!
I keep finding these mean women. I'm beginning to think it's me, that I somehow attracted to them, in order to suffer at their hands. Thinking of writing a hub on it. Do you guys think women encourage mean behaviour in their midst?
I do apologise for the dreadful grammar, I've been up half the night.
I'm not a guy but I'll have a go at answering your question because it's one that I've often pondered. I do often find that in all- or mostly-female environments, I'm the one who sticks out like a sore thumb and doesn't quite "get" the social expectations and rituals that seem to be the lifeblood of a lot of women. Consequently I always feel defensive in an all-female setting, because I'm sure that I'll be judged and found wanting. (Yeah, nothing like a self-fulfilling prophecy, is there?)
I do think that some women are hung up on "shoulds" and "oughts", and as a consequence they are too ready to point the finger at other women who don't conform, and are indifferent to the things that they hold dear.
Another thing: do you find it easy to talk to men? Not in a flirtatious sense, I just mean do you find men easy to get along with? Some women HATE that. Either they think that you're out to steal their man, or they're jealous of the fact that you can do something they find difficult or impossible. I have experienced this a number of times in my own life.
An interesting question, yes I find it really easy to get on with men. I've always been treated as 'one of the boys' to the extent that I have to point out that I am in fact a woman and would like to talk about things other than building site subjects. And then I spend time being picked on by women and go back to the guys who find female behaviour equally incomprehensible but who don't seem to know when some bint is being bitchy. Mmmmmmmmmm
Bravo! It's also got a lot to do with not being prepared to listen, or to let go their 'bone!' How insecure, sad and selfish some 'mean' women are!
Why do they not team up with 'mean' and 'cheap' men and save the rest of us in the world, the burden their continuous bleating about.... well you know.... 'mean' ingless stuff!
Yes... you are absolutely right.... honey!
And at Kennel Club too!
Happy New Year 2uesday .. has it stopped raining up there?
It does seem to rain here most days lately. Luckily, I was not in the area that flooded around Christmas time or travelling there. Being able to get an accurate picture of what is happening is useful. The weather forecast is usually accurate but sometimes there are unpredictable storms. Sometimes they pass quickly but other times they take longer to subside.
As someone who has been around women in the workplace, since the age of 16, I have to say that it can get "catty." I have seen lots and heard lots. I usually keep to myself as much as possible. This goes for friends as well. I have very few close friends who are women, because like my significant other always says, "It's always a competition with women." He is completely right. It is. I have had one of my best friends betray me...not once, but twice. We are no longer friends. The book that you were reading is completey right!
Mean women are not a part of my life. I am 66 and do not deal with a truly mean woman. They are usually damaged beings who need love to heal. Same with mean men. The only exception are sociopaths and psychopaths. I excuse myself from their company as quickly as possible and don't go back, EVER. I have a relative who fits the 'pathic' type and I avoid her as actively as I avoid non family members who fall into that catagory.
Tripping The Prom Queen is a good book. As a female I find that this behavior exists in women and men. In grade schools, now in college, and before I started working from home, I have come across females that are so insecure, hurt, or angry due to either their own actions or those of others, they lash out at innocent women who accomplish or do anything that they see as a threat. Others don't lash out, they backstab and isolate you and recruit others to do the same. It wasn't until I was 22 that I saw that boys/men do this same crap. I thought it was always girls.
I am a non-confrontational person and I detest drama. Yet, I can walk into a room of strangers and be met with angry stares that make it clear I am not wanted or outright hated for no reason. Whenever I am met with this type of behavior, I make a mental note to take the trash out of my life and I do not engage with these folks unless they have done something truly egregious.
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