Ok. so according to the law passed in afghanistan, a man can starve his wife if she refuses to have sex with him! So, my question: Is the woman allowed to starve the man if he isn't satisfying her in bed?!! I guess not.....
The wife can make her husband understand about the problem, if there is some medical solution then a doctor can be consulted but if the case became worse and the wife can not bear any more and wants to get rid of him then she can get a divorce from him or can become separated from him by consulting the court for the negation of marriage agreement.
An eye for an eye makes the world blind. —Mother Teresa
Doesn't make sense to always do to the other person the same as they do to you (by wronging each other). At some point one has to be mature enough to break the cycle of insanity, or just suffer a life of misery.
However, in this case, if a woman is starving, and I was that woman, I would do what it takes to get food, and at the same time protect myself.
No, unfortunately some countries are still very male dominated, (I presume this is often enforced by religious law but I do not want to spark a religious debate here) I think, as any sane person would that it is disgusting to force marriage, force the way the women dress, and force them to have sex. Women are not items, and any progressive person should be able to see that.
That is nuts and I hope before they demand they wash up ! I would rather starve then have high demands on me and not getting thing in return, there is a balance in the demand that is how it is supposed to be.
"In Shariah law, it states that a woman cannot go out without the permission of her husband," he said. He argued that the law is permissive because it allows a woman to go out for a medical emergency or other urgent reason without asking.
Unfortunately, I've heard a lot of Afghan women suffer from chronic vitamin D deficiency from having every inch of bare skin covered, so in between that and the beatings I'm sure their husbands are used to them being physical wrecks. Heck, in a society like that, it's probably regarded as a good thing to have a woman who's too weak to fight back.
I feel terrible about laws that are out of date with the times.I am very proud of being an american.I hope that someday you may feel the pride that I feel.Respect and Honesty and human descency are everything to me.You are not a wife but a sex slave for his every whim.Until things change satisfy yourself and be done with him.
Aren't you glad now that so many of our soldiers have died to protect and support this government? Not. We should withdraw our armies in protest. If terrorists come back to Afganistan then we can go back in specifically to tackle them, but we should not be sending people to die for a government like this, who also almost certainly rigged the recent election.
lol...smartly put Kerryg...made me laugh yes, but it's so sad too, isn't it?
Yes, Andromida, I would want to believe there is hope for them...but most of these women are forced into marriages, some as young as 13,made to wear that suffocating veil, not given much education,publicly flogged for sex before marriage, and stoned to death for adultery....and now this new law! Unbelievable!
Yes, Daniel...as u put it, one needs to break this 'cycle of insanity'....
It's your misconception. No body is forced into marriage. Both sexes willingly get married. And there is nothing wrong in getting married at the age of 13 because at the age of 13 and below almost all of the innocent western adult children are bound to get involved in pre marital sex, rape or molestation in their schools, colleges and parties. So it's better to get married and start a healthy family life.
Here is my favorite The onion news story; it talks about marriage in a fashion the original poster wrote (I don't want to place the web site link because it may be considered promotional). Funniest thing I have seen in years: Darling, You Were Well Worth The Nine Goats
My dearest Anjana Shah, it is difficult to believe that we have been husband and wife for five years on this very day. Where has the time gone? It seems like only yesterday the entire village gathered together to feast in celebration of your acceptance into the Atram family. Do you recall the delicious feast you prepared? Ah, Anjana, dearest wife, there are so many things I would like to express to you, I feel my heart will burst! Dear, sweet wife, we've had our share of troubles, but we're stronger for them. Not once have I regretted our agreement, not for even a second. Darling, just looking into your beautiful brown eyes each morning is worth more than four goats. You were well worth the nine.
Though my father assured me that his choice was sound, I worried initially that he was thinking only of your dowry. I suspected him of choosing you in order to bring the nine goats into our extended family, heedless of the fact that you were not the right woman for me. I feared that your hands were too soft and delicate to work the fields and dig groundnuts. I told my father that, at 16, you were rather old. I worried that your hips were too slim to bear my children, and you confirmed my fears when our first baby was stillborn. That did not please me. And, in our first year of marriage, your habit of slipping out at night to see your sick mother forced me to observe the family tradition and beat you with a bullhide strap. But I promise that I never took pleasure in flogging you. Even as I flogged you, I had affection in my heart.
But in the second year of our star-crossed marriage, you made my affectionate heart soar when you gave me a strong, healthy son. Only 10 full moons later, another son arrived... and then another and another, and today we have hope of a fifth. You may think it strange and impractical for me to say this, but I secretly hope that my next child is a girl. Even though she will be a burden on myself and my sons, you will enjoy teaching her the traditional songs, and she can help you with the cooking of our meals and cleaning of our house. We will guard her purity and, when she reaches the age of 12, she will be able to make another man as happy as you have made me, my beloved angel.
Of course, if the girl should have some defect that would render her undesirable to a potential groom—a clubfoot, for example—then you will drown her beneath the waterfall at Binagonda.
I have always admired your strength, my darling. Even today, though you are heavy with child, you spent the day fortifying the walls of our home with mud and straw. I remember the day you hurt your leg in the fields. In spite of the pain, you spent the entire day working. When you came home with a tear-stained face and only a half-basket of groundnuts, I was so impressed with your perseverance that I sat you down and gave you a cup of ginger tea before I got out the bullhide strap.
But I love you for many reasons besides your strength, my angel. I love you for your purity, broken for the first time on the night of our marriage. Since the night of your deflowering, you have conducted yourself with dignity. You do not raise your voice like some of the women in the village. You did not cry and carry on when our crops were trampled by sheep, though you knew that it would take you several arduous weeks to replant them. You never need to be told to walk three paces behind me. You never need to be told to keep your head down while I speak. You never need to be asked to wash my feet when I come home from a long day of drinking and singing. You are everything to me.
I will never forget the first time I realized how much you mean to me. Do you recall the afternoon when three of the precious dowry goats got loose? Without a thought of the dangers of the approaching night, you searched the entire Deccan Plateau, carrying our son Lam with you all the while, walking as far as the Hanuman Temple at Chaprala. When dawn arrived, I was very worried—and hungry, because you had not been there to prepare dinner the night before (which did not please me). But the fear of losing you to wild animals or bandits made me realize just how much you mean to me. When you finally showed up at the door, I made you promise never to leave the confines of the village again, not even to walk to the market in Vadpur.
The following night, my stomach nicely full, I stayed up very late alone in the night drinking from a bottle of Mahua flower water my father had given me shortly before he passed into his next life. Looking at the stars, set like gems in the inky night, I thanked my father. "Thank you, sir," I said. "Truly, you made the right marriage for me." Anjana Shah, I would not give you up for 20 goats. I would not lose you for even 30 goats. I would not give you up for a bicycle, a cart, or even a transistor radio. Dear heart, I tell you I speak the truth when I say that a thousand raging rivers could not drag you from me! That is how much I love you. I will love you well after the goats have grown too old to produce milk, and have been slaughtered for their meat.
And video lost: I've personally interviewed countless afghani women and closely observed their culture for years, so I know what I'm talking about. You must be very naive (to put it mildly) to believe they marry of their own choice, for some of the harrowing tales I've known are quite to the contrary! And NO it's not okay to marry at 13 not is starving a woman for sex, which I have a feeling u support too!
I dont think you interviewd any of them if so then post them on some legal authorized website not on blog or wikipedia. And scientifically it's very much ok to have sex at the age of 13 for an adult girl because it becomes her nature then and as per science, normally women get puberty from 9-12 where as men get it from 11-14. After that it becomes their by default instict to have sex.
Now the choice is yours whether you want your children getting involved in adultry, molestation, misuse and rape by their peers, school mates, neighbours, party fans or you want them to get married and live a healthy family life. Almost all of the juveniles lose their virginity in their schools and high schools by one way or another. Even the sex education is putting some opposite results on them.
Also it's not compulsory to get married at 13. Boys and Girls can get married at any age after getting puberty.
If that was ______ then here are some sweets in the following.
TEENAGE GIRLS SUFFERING MORE ABUSE
The report, entitled 'Partner exploitation and violence in teenage intimate relationships' is the first study in Great Britain to provide a detailed picture of the incidence and impact of teenage partner violence. 1,353 young people, between 13 and 17 years old from England, Scotland and Wales took part in the research survey and 91 young people took part in in-depth interviews. The report was authored by Christine Barter, Melanie McCarry, David Berridge and Kathy Evans from the University of Bristol and funded by the NSPCC and the Big Lottery Fund. A summary of the report will be available to download for free NSPCC - September 1st 2009.
I have heard that some women are ok with the way her husband treats her. Well... I guess there are both good and bad guys out there. I just don't like the idea of men dominating women and treat her like his possession, not as a human being.
Hi MOW...Sex is free when you are both consenting adults , specially if you are married so why are you going to starve each other in terms of sex. Sex releases tension and makes you more relax and happy. Afghanistan is a repressive society and doesnt respect womens rights. They treat women as trash too.
(hugs) yes, I know pretty....these laws are being perpetuated by men to suit themselves! And the women are just getting unhappier....and miserable....and ironically, overweight too because of all the endless children they give birth to! insane!