Seriously, I'm doing a little added research for a Hub I am writing and need a little input.
When you were younger - Your parents guided you.
As you got older - You were guided by school.
Here in between - If religious- You were again guided by a book.
As you got older - You were guided by an employer.
Along your entire life, You are guided by Law(s) created by Government.
So, I ask you - When does your life truly become yours?
Feel free to chat to bring up any part that you feel comfortable with sharing.
I do ask that you remain civilized and leave the insults out. If you have a direct question, I'll do my best to give you an honest reply.
Thank you for your time.
Parental Guidance: Single Mom Who worked two jobs> I stood home alone.
School: Constant trouble violence
Religion: Mom was born catholic but honestly the Christ dead on the cross in our house terrified me. I came upon my beliefs by searching for truth.
Employers: Self employed as I have always rebelled against any kind of authority. I question everything.
Laws: Anything I say could be used against me.
My life has been my own since I was born.
Neat question Cags,
All along I have grown into my life. As a child, a student, a Christian, employee and even as a spouse. As a child, I needed protection. As a student, I needed education. But I was still becoming "me".
The choices in faith, employment and marriage were my choices to enter into. Within those choices I still have "me" and room to grow and own my life.
The choice to become a parent was the most dramatic and was the most sacrificial. But I would chose it all over again.
All these stages of life have had room for me to call my life my own, or make it my own.
Now the government....the taxed to death thing has me fit to be tied! Holly
I should add that I have spent much of my life self employed, nontraditional and considered unique
I feel that in my opinion, my life is to be shared. I don't want to hold myself in, I like to be a part of something bigger. Just by interacting with others we make a portion of our lives belong to them and vice versa. Inside our minds we can be ourselves, and be free to roam our thoughts. That is the freedom I want and love. I can sit and roam my mind in piece alone. But once I get out in the world, my life isn't all mine any more, it's part of everyone I meet, part of everything I see and do. We're helped and guided for our benefit most of the time, and it doesn't really concern me, I like the fact that I've been taught and guided, without it I could never have developed my ideas in the way I have, and be who I am.
To sum up. Our lives are always ours. But we share them with others and with the world. In some places it may be forced, and negative, but for me, it's a great thing
Just my thoughts
Well, from my perspective, when you learn to listen to your self is what a mystical spiritual path is all about.
When you get to that point in life when you know you can't listen to anyone else any longer on certain aspects of life, you can seek that "Higher Self" that is your most virtuous level of consciousness of love. I call it the Christ Mind/God Mind. I beleive it is what Jesus came to teach us, but somehow it got all twisted into Jesus worship, instead of Him being the teacher and mediator to guide us as individuals to our portion of the Christ Mind, which he personified.
It's that mystery of letting go and letting God...that portion of God that is the energy of love of the Universe that we can all tap into, if we choose to let go of the ego's rule, our own or another's...and let "God" rule...get it?
Don't let others perceptions of who or what "God" is get you all twisted up.
I have learned to understand who and what "God" is, through many different belief systems... so can you.
Our life is not ours actually .. We spend whole of our time in making others happy and it depends if you feel satisfied in making others happy or not.. It depends on person to person...my life is not mine,.. its dedicated to my family ,..
Wife, indicates "Marriage". Religious nonsense. Even the Civil Union? That's too funny too, but needed in a civilized society.
I mean, if we did away with all religious inclination, but kept Marriage, as it was suppose to be, then I wouldn't mind.
You also assume that a wife is the only guidance in the marriage. Sounds like a one-sided arrangement and I'm glad I'm not married.
LOL Cags, marriage back in USSR was completely secular, yet my former wife did guide me our whole life, until I escaped. Which actually started my liberation from other things in your list that guided me
My life is now and always has been mine. I choose to accept the guidence of others or I choose not to.
This is highly unlikely, depending on the Country you were born and raised in. However, your life is probably yours, but then again that also depends on other things too. Does your life negate the need for Law(s) to exist? Do you live within your conscience?
Just curious? I'm always asking questions to gain additional knowledge.
I worded my response as such because I truly believe it. I choose to accept or not accept. Choosing not to accept may lead to consequences others choose to impose on me but that is not the reason I may choose not to accept in most cases. An exception might me choosing to accept under the threat of death for myself or a loved one in which case I am going along with the program all the way!
My motto is very simple I do not lie,cheat,or steal. I walk the walk and never pretend to be something I am not.
Sometimes I can calcute the probability of a future event.
I see the future as a puzzle. One giant puzzle, broken into billions of pieces. When I take a piece and bring it to the forefront of my mind, I can break that piece down to it's singular component, so as to structure the foundation for that piece.
It's fun to do. And, keep me busy. I developed this ability all on my own, by truly understanding the meaning for human life.
Even religion gives you the basis for some ethical foundation of life, however, it's individual interpretation lacks any common-sense. And, not to mention, such a contradiction to life itself.
I have to figure out motivations and intentions of others for a living. Since I started working directly with the public I have been studying human behavior.
Every word that is said during a negotiation can be detrimental to the outcome. Body language is very important.
The pieces have to be examined until the puzzle can be put together and the deal made. It is a fascinating process and I take it very seriously. I have attained this ability through my own research and studying others that are succesful in my field.
I believe it is all about love and light. . . sharing . . and caring . . and if we look at life as something that is controlled we hit obstacles. . its all about learning and growing and taking each step along the way without trying to control it.
When does our life become ours . .when we learn to let go and just be . . . . add a little happy smile through it all and then whatever you have you share it all in the love and the light.
Okay, let's not go over-board here. There is more to life than just love and light? I guess that would depend on what you reference "light" has for you sentence. I do understand that Love has a unique quality that can be used to help with the problem, but more self-responsibility for truth in life, would be better, before Government strips away life.
Cags. . all I can say is ......jaded jaded jaded....
sorry. . cant agree with you here. . .love and light. . if you have that in your life what more do you need and how can the government can take away. . love and light ... that is the truth to life.
I see you trying to get on my good side. Rooting for my Cowboys, because your team failed. Awwww...come on now. What do you take me for?
so not true. . . yes my GMen lost. .but I can truly root for a team that I think has the "it" factor. . and while I am at it. . I must tell you that the first football team that I ever ever rooted for. . .and from where my love of the game came from was from none other than the Cowboys. . Stauback, Dorsett, Randy White. . Too Tall . . Charlie Waters. . and the one and only Tom Landry. . I was kinda young at the time and my Dad did alot of business in Dallas back then . . I went on a trip with him once and got to meet them all .. went home with autographs and all. . . so it is not for you that I am rooting them on. . oh and I also was lucky enough to see them play the Steelers in not one but 2 SuperBowls........
I was only pulling your leg. And, now you tell me that you use to root for the Cowboys, but you're a Giants fan now?????????
Loyalty to your team????? Where is that????? Come on????
is it all black and white...cut and dry to you . .sometimes things change...no i take that back. . .we can always be certain that things change and isnt it how we cope and deal with change that makes us stronger?
jaded jaded jaded.......
i am going to sent you a special hard to find chill pill....
but until then .. .together we can put some good energy behind the Boys to bring it home. . .oh and juust so you know I will also be pulling for the Jets too tomorrow. .and of course there is history there too. . .but I think i gave you enough of me tonight
sending you a bit hug Cags xoxox
You know something. I'm just having fun with you. I have been a Dallas Cowboys fan, ever since I can remember. I have never waivered. I am just that way. Believe it or not, LIFE is cut and dry.
chill pill is for you.
Awww...how nice of you. Have a good night.
Every day, I seek guidance, direction and wisdom form those who know me best or who know the field of study I am learning. It is all part of being me.
Without others, I would be a very boring, self absorbed little individual. Their guidance helps to widen my horizon, making available knowledge that I could not have of known other wise.
...okay, so there is clairvoyance, but even gathering knowledge that way is seeking guidance.
I am me because of the input of others. This does not mean that I live my life just to please them, or because they control me. My actions are based on love and respect for them.
I believe it is only respect for the law (or the consequence of breaking it) that keeps people obeying it. And, it is out of respect for my reader that I use spell check.
I want to say yes but there are interfering factors that where I live in New Orleans govern my life. Thank you
My life belongs to a bunch of kids of all ages, from adult children to grandchildren! I love it this way!
When you take control of your destiny and live your life by examples and not by what others believe you should do. I always try to lead others by the examples I make not allowing my beliefs, friends etc. get in my way.
Yes and I also believe in Fate but I still believe in God but that is not what we are discussing.
When I was a child, Life was taken from me.
In high school, i went to a very liberal open continuation school. I was allowed to be myself.
I have no religious views now, But was raised Christian.
I feel like... My life has started. I feel in control... But It's scary. I have no fail safe relief, like religion. My life seems to be spiraling down... And maybe having those factors helps your life move along smoother...
Think self-employment Crazd, take a business view to your life for a little while. It might change your outlook. Seriously.
hmmmm I might have to think self-employment the way things are going but...what business could I do? all I'm really good at is being wiht kids, being a teacher, and writing...
Speaking from my experience, self employment can be as much of a controller as employment. Instead of one boss, you now have many bosses, better known as customers...
Am I missing something?
Ivorwen, as a guy who's owned several businesses over the decades, I'd say, no, you're not missing a thing. You hit the nail right on the head.
Additionally, it seems to me that it's the individual, not the form of employment, that determines the "control" effect. One person's freedom is the next yahoo's cage.
Actually, I think was is being missed it the opportunity to become completely self-independent. This gives a freedom, especially if it's something you already love to do. I am sure you're creative enough to think of something. Customers are not a problem if you give them something of value.
This is more or less what I was thinking. I have been employed places that were much easier than working for my self ever will be. I came, did my job, and left. I got paid. No stress, just a bit of time. Self employment involved 14 hours a day, 6 days a week, and dirty diapers.
For me, that would be along the lines of homesteading, and someday it may happen. A debt free hermit. For now, I am happy with my six employers commonly referred to as family.
Strangely enough, I've felt my life was my own from almost the beginning. That may be pure (impure?) delusion, but true nonetheless.
There were exceptions: Until leaving home at age 17, I had plenty of resentment to go around--inborn stuff, not necessarily earned by those around me. And of course Sergeants in the Army and bosses at various places of employment told me what to do. Plus, there's all that "guidance" mentioned at the beginning of the thread.
It has been my nature to pick and choose what guidance I would accept (some), what I would reject out of hand (quite a lot), and what I would go along with on the surface for pragmatic reasons such as avoiding prison or a knife fight with a guy wielding a machete (a humongous amount).
As many of my fellow Hubbers already know, Pam is my 7th wife. What has not been previously published here is the core reason why our marriage has succeeded where all previous attempts failed. Simply put, without going into all the background, it was this: I knew that abandoning her would be a death sentence.
And I found that was something I could not countenance. It was not "guidance" from any outside source that mandated this decision to commit for life (and quite possibly beyond) but something from deep within the core of Self, something that could neither be influenced by Others nor denied by me.
In that decision, I found what I believe to be true freedom. Certainly, with my wife's many and serious disabilities, I have my work cut out for me. One of my favorite literary characters states that, "Death is light as a feather, duty heavier than a mountain." I agree. I have found, however, that like Atlas, I have the shoulders to support that burden.
And despite that sizeable weight, I know--regardless of appearances--my life is truly my own.
Likewise, (AGAIN!) I've written a Hub and called it a Comment....
I do not believe that being "guided" means that your life isn't really yours. On the other hand, it is common for people to blindly follow and not take control of their own lives.
I make choices every day; granted, many of them are on autopilot. Does that mean my life is not my own? I don't really think so. It simply means that I am choosing to coast sometimes. That's still my choice and my life.
I apologize for interrupting.
Is your life really yours?
Yes, but there are always certain compulsions(?). When a single life is viewed without the scope (perspective) of time a series of decisions (born of free will) of an individual’s ancestors lead to said individual’s life, as that individual’s decisions (& subsequent actions) lead to their descendents’ (if they so choose to have descendents). Taboos (& their kin) formed from one’s ancestors’ observations, perspectives, and actions can be carried down to the individual, then passed to their offspring, and so on.
If I disagreed with something I could commit an infinite number of actions in response. I could do nothing, I could take a gun and rectify the condition (at least in mind and the immediacy of the moment), I could debate with those of opinions in dissent of my own, I could write, paint, sing of correct courses of action. I could convince others of the wrongness and together go about changing it. Or I could do nothing.
The choice would be dictated by taboos drawn by the ancients (in a family’s line), my own personal history (that joyous collection of moments like so many tears in the rain, uniquely my own), my perspectives of those moments, and my own conscious choice on whether those perspectives are ‘true’ to the new situation.
However, if seen from the perspective of symbiosis, no living thing can own life as every ‘individual’ life is simply part of the existence of everything - irregardless of time or space. In this sense no one life is that individual’s - causes and effects ripple outward, sometimes erupting in actions we never could have predicted.
Well, I guess I just look at things differently. Thank you Ivorwen for your input.
You too Ghost32
Looking at things differently is what makes it interesting. What works well for you might drive another crazy. I know that my lifestyle is not for everyone.
Not to be or sound, out of place, I find that statement quite opposite to what I've learned. I say that, because we are human beings first and foremost, and we are adaptable. The limitations one sets on oneself is the only obstacle.
I can understand how you can see things that way. But, I see the potential each has and sometimes I am saddened to see much of it wasted. Again, Thank you.
Are you inferring that she has wasted so much of her potential by not becoming something more? I would think one measure of a successful life is finding happiness, too. If I lived my life miserable to make someone else happy, I think I would feel short changed. Just wondering, Holly
I am simply stating the case that many people squander their life, because they don't know any better. Many people waste their life, doing nothing of value, simply because they don't see their own potential.
I can honestly say, for a great many years, I did feel short changed. And, when I finally had the questions I had for my life, answered, it opened up an entirely different way of thinking.
I wasn't trying to detract from Ivorwen's life or how she lives. I was simply stating a fact that humans are adaptable and conform to any way of thinking and way of life. And, you know what- sometimes, those who can do one, can handle the other. As I said, I can understand how Ivorwen sees things.
I've guided myself from a young age, my parents were of little help, school and religion had their own agenda's which were not necessarily in my best interest.
Also had some mentors who had some influence.
Mostly learned and thought for myself and on my own. I believe it has made me a stronger more independent individual.
i love your question Cags....I've had similar thoughts often.
But I do know one's mind is one place where one can be truly free and think...and believe and create whatever one chooses...and no one can 'own' it...
from religions view my life is in God control.
but from your write up,i wonder when we will not be control by one thing or the other.
I bring this forum thread back to life, because I was reading the bible the other day, and stumbled onto something. It is a simple passage in the book of Revelations. Follow me if you like at Chapter 13:10.
It goes something like this(understanding that every bible reads differently these days);"Anyone destined for captivity goes into captivity. Anyone destined to be slain by the sword shall be slain by the sword. Such is the faithful endurance of the holy ones."
I know this forum thread was originally a political issue, however I'm into recycling, and wanted to recycle this thread into a religious topic. Since this thread virtually discusses a similar principle, I'm curious does the verse above prove to us all that our lives are not our own? That God is the master of our destinies? For those who preach to others about believing in the bible, and everything that it says; I'm especially curious as to your feelings on the matter.
Destiny is a man-made myth.
I wasn't sure if I should answer this one, because I do sorta preach, but I preach about knowledge of life and not religion.
When human beings evolved consciousness - "god"/nature was no longer needed or required. We as an individual person are the masters of our own life and have an ability to adapt to our surroundings. Once, one puts their mind to accomplishing a task, it will get done. Given the effort is put forth to make it happen.
At least that's my thoughts on it.
Yeah Cagsil, but where is Make Money, or Brenda Durham or Sir Dent? Where is all the rest of them that preach everyday, about how the bible is the truth?
Your view is much like mine. Although, I do not think a destiny is a made up myth. I believe in reincarnation, if that gives you any light on my formal feelings about destinies.
I am sure some will show up sooner or later. If not, oh well.
I don't see how you can have both....reincarnation and destinies. One is a finite destination or fixed ending and reincarnation is recycling of the "soul" or "spirit", which humankind actually doesn't have.
Soul and spirit are religious terminology, incorporated into words in our language. Neither have been proven to exist. The two terms describe the "essence" of a person and nothing more.
You know Ray, I guess this life really is mine. I got it at WalMart and wasn't happy with it so I tried to return it for a refund. They wouldn't take it saying I had already opened it but could get an exchange...but all they had was a few homeless Haitians, a Korean dictator, and a Columbian drug lord...oh and one Puerto Rican transvestite. So I just went home with my original purchase and have been making due with it.
Did you see how old this thread is?
Hi Stormy, how are you today?
I'm sorry if I offended anyone!...Except any Korean dictators who may be following this thread.
I have been contacted by Kim Jung Il...he requested I remove my reference to Korean dictators, as he doesn't want to be connected to WalMart in any way...I refused of course!
"So, I ask you - When does your life truly become yours?"
When you elect to take it. Many people work hard to give it away all their lives. IMO, only a minority, across the full political and religous spectrum, break out of the mold and take their lives.
See I think it is our destiny to become better people with each life. I believe that they(reincarn.and destin.) are intimately intertwined. I think we are reborn to gain more spiritual knowledge, to become "Buddha's" in our own rights. Therefore, I believe that God governs over us, and our destinies are set in motion when we are in the womb. It is all about being reborn in God's image, living life with meaning and servitude, and becoming more Christ-like in that journey. In essence, to become Buddha.
Really Tantum? Wrong with me?
Have I just called a mass group of peaceful people, foolish?
I think you are mistaken.
You can curse me all you want. Write your hateful rhetoric, and post your spam. However at the end of the day, somebody has got to stand up to such hypocrisy, surrounded inept humor, to disguise its hate mongering. It is no wonder dear Tantum, that you gave up on Christianity long ago.
Next time you look to personally slam me, keep in my I have never claimed to be a perfect human. I expect you to be up to the task then.
Poor Tantum. Couldn't managed Christianity on her own. Too difficult to manage I guess. And you ridiculed me for my short comings....
Shall we play some more Tantum? Since you always play fair and without insult, shall we?
Well, then I would say people never understood Jesus to begin with.
I have thought about this and don't think your life is truly ever your own. For one thing we live in a society and in order to live peacefully in our society we must make way to the rules and etiquettes. Even in self employment we must give up our desires in order to please the ones who would hire our services or buy our products. If you live as a couple you make changes and compromises often to live in peace. I could give more examples but I think you will understand.
Even if we make the decision to walk away from it all and live in solitude in a barren place with no glimmer of society near us, we still must bend to the ways of nature in order to survive.
My life has always been my own, I just didn't see it.
My life will always be my own, for as long as I choose it.
My life is based on my education, my knowledge, my experiences and my choices. Nobody can take it away from me.
I don't know. I personally think that, from the moment you are able to make your own decisions, your life belongs to you. People CHOOSE to allow their parents to guide them or they CHOOSE to disobey them. People CHOOSE to follow the school's rules or they CHOOSE not to. People CHOOSE to follow a religion or they CHOOSE not to. People CHOOSE to get and keep a job or they CHOOSE to remain unemployed. People CHOOSE to follow government laws or they CHOOSE to run away from them.
The only way your life doesn't belong to you is if you CHOOSE to allow someone else to run it for you.
My life has been mine all along, but I would give it for a cause.
I think its possible to have more than one life. Sometimes you live for other people. Sometimes because of what people will think. Sometimes for yourself. It's easy to blame people, institutions and circumstnaces for how your life has turned out but ultimately it's down to you and your fooling yourself if you think otherwise. Personal responsibility; its a bitch.
I just wrote a new hub about Self-Responsibility.
Is your life really your own?
That's an interesting question. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try to do those things in our life that fulfill us, yet we are generally met with obstacles that we must hurdle to attain our goals.
It is satisfying to attain those goals by hurdling those obstacles, but it does not come without sacrifice , or a price, meaning it does not come by something being handed to you freely in this society.
My grandma once said, anything worth having, is worth the hard work you put into it. SO, is your life you own? Maybe it is and maybe it is not, there is no, "Yes", or "NO" answer to it, from my perspective.
Asking that question or answering that question, is like, asking. Do you believe that you have a choice, or do you believe, that people have power or influence? Think about those questions, because both can be illusions, if you have ever sat or examined our society very closely.
We choose what we do and we do what we choose. We are responsible for those choices even if we do not wish to be. We only lose control of our lives when we relinquish control.
Control is an illusion, no matter how hard it is to attain or maintain.
Control, is still just that, an illusion, just like choice or power in our society.
Control reminds, me of a cowboy at a rodeo, who tries to ride the most biggest and the most terrible bull in the rodeo. The cowboy thinks every-time he has the courage to mount that bull, that the cowboy is going to break or control that bull, which is an illusion.
it bothers me at times that I have to work for a living. I also hate not having any control over the happenings in life and being helpless to keep my children safe and healthy. There is only so much I can do. No, my life is not really mine. I do what I have to do to live and survive and to ensure the survival of my family. But thats what everyone does. This is the reality of every single person. But I know its all for something. So I grin and bear it.
Cagsil, I meant to add that the cowboy thinks he has control over the bull, in reality, the cowboy does not have control over the bull. Sure, the people at the rodeo could slaughter the bull for a barbecue after the rodeo is over with said and done, but that does not insinuate that the cowboy, had control.
Our society has this perception that mankind has control over just about everything we touch, which is a misnomer.
Mes78 - you are exactly correct, working in a capitalistic society does not give a person a lot of time to pursue the things in life that he or she enjoys.
I was raised at a very young age, that you work hard, and hard work will be rewarded. That is not necessarily true today, because there are corporations who will reap huge rewards off of your sweat.
Just because I was taught to work hard, is a great moral for me, I live by that moral, but I will not allow anybody to take advantage of me, nor would I take advantage of another, if that person was working for me.
You have to basically find a way not to get caught up in a cycle where all a person does is work to live, live to work to acquire material things in life.
We all have to find that medium in our life that makes us happy, and there is a constant struggle for us, where we are battling to live a life of happiness and minimized levels of stress.
As you stated, we grin and bear it, and that is reality.
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