I work part time as a pole dancer.As Im in college I need the money. People judge me and assume im a slut.People have told me I should quite. Is it realy that bad that I dance for money?? Just because a pole is involved people think the worst...
blech...people will always judge. I have had some people look down on me and say I am not contributing to society, Im not a REAL woman becuase I stay at home with my kids, instead of having a carreer... If you are happy doing what you do, dont worry about what others say.
Everyone will hate me for this, but I guess you can only be what you judge yourself for. So ask yourself this: Would I be ok with my daughter pole dancing for money. If the answer is yes, then more power to you! If the answer is no, then I'm sure you yourself feel like what you're doing is wrong!
My daughter is very alternative in art, music, and many other things. She's never been a pole dancer, but it wouldn't surprise me if she has a friend or two that is. I think pole dancers are perceived as bad because they arouse a lot of excitement and sexual feelings. However, I'm a musician, and some of my family and friends thought that was bad because I would lose my principles as I became heavily involved in the industry. And music, too, can be very sexual.
So what. Let them think what they will. If you are good with yourself about your life, then you're pretty much finding peace. What's wrong with that?
Well maybe it is just people have different opinions too. I am not attractive at all, but I have never been jealous of my prettier friends. The reason I did not like to see my friend dancing is because she felt she was selling herself short. Just because people are opposed to dancing this way does not mean they are jealous, or even prudish.
I feel the same way about all the bankers that got countries into this mess. Growing up no one wanted to be teachers because they all make paltry sums, but everyone wants to be a star or something that pays high. Called me old fashion, but I believe in careers that have staying power. Is poll dancing or stripping a job you could do at sixty? If not, why are you there.
Yes working fast food or janitorial is degrading in a different way I suppose to some people, but I know what is expected of me, etc. Now I am going back to school to become a medical assistant, and I know what is expected of me there.
No... working fast food is not degrading, it's hard and you get yelled at all the time!
My reason for doing it really had nothing to do with sex, feeling attractive, enjoying being looked at, or having a lasting career. I wanted to pay my mortgage by working 2 to 3 nights a week so that I could focus on my life in the real world and my writing.
Confused is focused on moving forward, this is a way for her to work fewer hours for a decent sum of money than she would make elsewhere in order to reach her goals without having to go bankrupt and pay back student loans for the next 20 years.
On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with someone that works fast food and pays off their loans over twenty or so years. Once I get a full time job I will allocate most of my income to repaying the loans, but for now these are on deferment. As for writing, well I have written two novels that are not published, and I did lots of my writing and studying on breaks at work. I have no desire to own a house, so for me I did what is best. I would not change a thing, but those who think people are judging others for dancing, I think some who are pro dancing are judgmental too. I like to look at both sides, and I see judgment in both camps.
That is fine. I think people who dance are pro-human sexuality do not understand us more reserved types is all. However, at the end of the day us quiet types are always working hard behind the scenes. I have nothing more to say about this.
I don't think that there is any job that you can be certain to keep until you are 60. Look around you, with the economical crisis many professionals have lost their well paid jobs and now are unemployed. Nothing assures you that you can keep a job.
That is definitely not true. My parents are both working as CPAs and they are in their sixties. They have had their own business for thirty years. Yes business is down with the economy, but I have learned if you are willing to work hard in life, and even do jobs others detest, you will get by. These menial jobs even pay the way to better things, like they did for my parents.
I don't see anything wrong with pole dancing. In fact, it has become an exercise to tone one's muscle. I guess you were just a victim of stereotyping and besides as long as you know yourself and where you stand. You don't have to mind what other people are saying.
Don`t worry about what other people think. Where can a girl make the kind of money you make dancing? And most of it is off the books! Most people won`t judge you for what you do but there will always be somebody who will judge you no matter what you do! What`s important is how YOU feel about yourself.
Well, it's really how you portray yourself as you dance that differentiates exotic dance from other types of dance. I'm not naive enough to think that the girls who just happen to dance with or around a pole and happen to have the best moves are the ones who get the biggest tips. If you're not a slut and you don't want people to believe you're a slut, you should probably not be in a position that constantly requires you to portray yourself as one.
You need to know that there are some pole dancing establishments where the dancers deserve the epithet.
I have a friend who's a pole dancer. She started in Brisbane, and loved it. In the club where she danced, pole dancers were employed to dance and that's it.
When she came to Sydney, she had some frightening experiences, because her first two jobs were at clubs where, it turned out, the dancers were expected to do "extras". She's fine now, as she's found a respectable club where all she has to do is dance.
Given that there are clubs where the strippers/pole dancers double as prostitutes, you probably can't complain if people jump to the wrong conclusion. Think yourself lucky you've found a club where you are treated properly.
"You" in the general sense. You personally can go dance on a pole too if you like.
I think "proud of her" is taking the unconditional feminist support thing a little far. If she wants to do something legal to make some money that's her choice, but "proud" would be if she was working with the sick, poor children, or the elderly or such.
So are you. What's the difference in what I said and you calling me rude. I have read your condescending posts to others because of their beliefs and you're calling me rude? P*L*E*A*S*E you're the stove calling the kettle black..Oh that hurts so bad..
Oh I've been to school and have my MSN. However they didn't teach me Cliche' Is that the course you took? Cliche Learning wow that is very educational. I'm not your dear. Who is TK? Don't start saying I'm someone I'm not. Should I have hubpages staff prove it to you? Rude is rude. And you're not condescending? Sock Puppet? You really should stop with your name calling. What goes around comes around..that's correct for you too.
Twice? same word? Why is truth rude? I don't think I was talking to you. Are you her shepherd? Don't you think you were rude to me by saying I was rude? What's the difference? Because it's you? I see you are calling a lot of people down. DON'T..
I was simply saying she needed to go to college because she needed to learn more. You were rude to me so I was rude back. Why not? I was telling you not to call me out again. What is wrong with that? It had to do with me. Others thought I was rude? OK so they see it the way you do. It doesn't change my mind.
Everyone needs to learn more....most of my social circle are MDs and barely anyone lower than a bachelor's degree, and many over 40...people always need to learn more, that never stops no matter how much education or life experience you have.
Forget that I'm a an for a moment. I've worked as a bouncer on and off for years. I worked at a pretty classy place in Ct. for some time. Not only were some of the ladies I worked with sweethearts, but some were paying for college with their proceeds.
Who the F' ever faulted Mike Tyson for making MILLIONS of dollars doing what he was good at? This is a sickening chauvinstic ego trip, and it's just wrong.
I applaud you for knowing your strengths, and NOT caving in to the stupidity and jealousy! You go, girl...
So everyone and anyone who does not agree with stripping is jealous and stupid? That just sounds stupid as some people are never going to like dancing in a bar, and you cannot make them. Once again though the Internet is not very deep.
Don't worry what others think of you..You know you are a good person and those close to you know that, so screw everyone who judges you as being bad..The people that know and love you are the ones who matter
I danced for 3 years 18 to 21 to pay my bills and eat then i was making so much i had no worries but switched to a more stable career in advertising. Besides 21 is old to be dancing Only you can decide if its wrong or not no one elses opinion will change that. It's odd you ask when you must have an answer. Just thinking out loud. Thanks
I recently quit, like last week, but it had little to do with it being bad!
I had a multitude of reasons, only one of which was stalkers and crazies. The money is very good and I have always danced anyway, so if you want to work part time and have the physique and mental fortitude to do it, there shouldn't be a reason not to.
Many dancers are students and single mothers, very few are looking for one-night-stands or extracurricular monetary opportunities.
Dance, pay for school... who the heck has the right to tell you who you are because of how you do get your education?
You've gotta do what you gotta do. As long as you're confident in what you're doing, and know your intentions don't waste your time on what other people think. You can't please everybody, as far as I'm concerned, it's a great way to keep in shape!
I might recommend working more on building a resume, though, because even with this supposed nurse's shortage, employers have to be extremely picky. What's going to look better- jobs cleaning bedpans at the hospital, or pole dancing? They're going to look for job experience and professional references that are more relevant to your chosen career field. It's not enough to have a degree, and paying for school is only going to help so much if, while you're pole dancing, the others who may be applying for the jobs you want are working in hospitals or as home health aides and getting all the experience you won't have.
Actually that's not true. Like I stated I have a friend who is going through nursing school and is working at Starbucks. Not all ppl can work at hospitals as they go thorughs chooling so CB is just fine even with pole dancing on her resume. yes employers may be picky but there are those out there who are willing to give ppl chances. and while going through the nursing program she will be getting practice working in hospitals and the such.
Well, if an entry-level job in your chosen field isn't available, that's a different story. But the best job to help someone through school would be in one's chosen profession.
Everyone coming out of nursing school will have enough experience, but some will have more and will have an edge on the competition if they focus on building a resume and relevant job experience along with paying the bills.
OHHHH thats where mcdonalds came from! NO WAY can you pay for school and survive and have time to go to school, on THAT salary....besides, if the argument is the job expierence...Mickyd's doesnt get you anywhere either...
I hate this new format, Im so confused. I mean no offense to anyone This is my final answer...I see nothing wrong with dancing, as long as your happy with it. Have a great night everbody. Dont judge 'till youve walked a mile....and all that
No offense, but you and the lady who started this thread are just as judgmental as the people who you think are against your lifestyle. I am going to school too, and I am sorry my lowly job is not as exciting as both of yours. Have neither of you ladies ever heard of financial aid? I only work about twenty hours a week at McDonald's now, and I am going to try and get a campus job when one opens up. Also, I have to agree with the lady who pointed out that working in a hospital would be better experience than dancing with a poll.
Usually I do not even participate on these forums because people are set on how they think, but both of your comments have shown you are actually judgmental. I don't think the woman who started this thread is completely comfortable with her lifestyle choices either, or should would not be asking the Internet what they think. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but complaining that people are not showing you compassion is simply not true. Have you ever thought about how ten years down the line if one of the regulars that came in to see you danced worked with you at a hospital. It is something to think about, but hey, I like to see the bigger picture. Most people may not care, but dancing in a bar is not exactly going to make everyone think the best of you, and that is just reality. Yes, my friend has had some akward experiences in her new job with a supervisor that used to come and see her dance.
Do I detect a trace of biased disapproval, Valerie?
There are many ways in which any given job can be described on a CV. There are also a fairly limited number of paying jobs available for as yet untrained people in hospitals and care homes. Working in such places on a voluntary basis will not pay tuition fees.
Ultimately, attitude and a sense of vocation will win out over anything else, especially at the interview stage. CB looks like she will be a winner on that score.
Sex is so out there today. I am not a nun or anything, but I just do not find this to be a political issue-poll dancing. I actually feel sorry for women who feel they have to sell their bodies that way, and yes I had a friend who was devastated by her life as a stripper. At first attracted to the easy money, but started to feel degraded because of the things men expected of her. A real beautiful girl, and most of the guys that came in were people she would not even usually date. She finally gave up dancing and realized finishing her degree was a better use of her time.
I'm not condemning poll dancing, and it sounds like you are not expected to do things my friend had to do. They wanted her to give men lap dances because she is very beautiful, and some were willing to pay big bucks. The clientele for the most part were older guys that were married, or over the hill bachelors that did not have girlfriends. After awhile she just felt degraded because as she got older the men always wanted someone younger. She was only 28 at the time, but some guy made a disgusting remark about how her co-worker looked hot because she was eighteen.
Also, I think maybe you should try to understand why some people have a different opinion than you on this. Does not mean your dad is judging you, he just thinks you do not have to settle for this. Honestly you could put yourself through school working at McDonald's, which I did, but you enjoy making more money. This is not a judgment call, just the truth.
I refused to do lap or personal dances. It makes some customers upset but that was my decision on the matter. If you let your job change you, then you aren't really strong enough to be an exotic dancer.
That's not exactly what I meant. I have met several girls who think that it will be fun, it will make them feel sexy, whatever.... then they get into the glamor of it all, what glamor there is anyway and it becomes a lifestyle rather than a job. It's hard to be in control when it's a lifestyle, it has to be a job and going into it for any other reason is pretty silly.
long before there WAS pole dancing I was a little girl doing trapeze dancing in my back yard - I made it up, but it was pretty good - I would put on performances for the neighborhood and charged a nickel. I think I made $3 one week. No one had heard of dancing that was really like gymnastics then, hell, we had barely heard of gymnastics! Those were the days - but I was 9 years old. Nowadays it would be a severe mess if I tried to pole dance! Would look really alien upsidedown - and I'd prob fall on my head but I love watching it - would like to see men do it - do they ever?
oh, right, didn't consider the possibility of injury for a man! I really love watching men do the gymnastics - especially when they hang on those rings and their butts are so fabulous! uh oh - I was gonna get thro today without making softporn comments! oh well . . .
I have to appriciate it , as it is a form of dance, which is an art form. I am an artist of many medias and calibers. BUT - I have known many of the girls I went to college with who stripped or exotic danced for the money. I was invited to dance amatuer ( I was a bartender at a Sports Pub, offered a strippers /dancers job, turned it down )dancers night, and finally took the offer this one time. I got up there, made some money, but do to my back and other health issues that were surfacing at the time, I sat the night out.I then became aware of what was going on behind the scenes. This is why I personally do not respect the profession. These "friends" of mine were doing things above and beyond what a "pole danccer" should do, and it was also above what the law approves of. It was not a nasty place, infact it was the classiest strip club around ( from what everyone had told me, even to this day ) There was massive drug use, prostitution , sex acts at tables - this I actually witnessed by accident, and many more things I will not go into detail about do to the adult content of it. My personal experice leads me to believe many , too many women use it for an excuse, the line of "it pays for college"..why do you ask me why I think this ? - 4 out of 5 of the "exotic Dancers" I knew ended up dropping out of college due to the lifestyle they got into, and the 5th went back to it. The drugs were free , cheap and could be traded for sex, the money spent for a sexual act was a half hours worth of work for 2 or 3 hours worth of pay and many got into porno's.. Of these girls, 2 now have HIV and the other 3 are either cocaine or meth addicts and they are all alcoholics in bad relationships with men, and they go from man to man, it getting worse each man they move on to.. They followed money and ruined what they could of had. There are too many scholorships available now, many grants and funding that does not have to be paid back , and there are PEL grants that are easy to obtain. There are other means for payioing for college, not going broke, and having dignity for yourself in the end. This is my thought on it from my experience around it. I have not posted this to harm or judge anyone, just an information post from what I know from having been close to people in the industry.
Absolutely nothing wrong with it . My husband used to be a bouncer in a strip club, and I like the way he looked at it...the girls that work in there aren't sad, but a large percentage of the customers are. It's just a job, and at the end of the night they all picked up their tips and headed home to their boyfriends, husbands, and kids. In my opinion it's only a degrading job if you start thinking that your body is all you have to offer people, other than that, who cares what people say or think about you?
No doubt there are some that earn a bit of money on the side by getting a bit closer to the customers, shall we say, but more power to them in my opinion...you can't legislate morality, and prostitution is the marketing and sale of a commodity when it gets down to it.
I imagine...I know I get twerked enough when people are constantly asking me when I'm going to get a real job, I'm a full-time freelancer and have been making decent money at it for quite a long time...even supported my husband when he first moved here. I know it's a little bit different kind of judgment, but whether you're being judged as a slut or a bum it certainly doesn't feel very good.
BC Boutique, my daughter has been dancing for 7 years now and is neither a drug addict nor HIV positive. She did drop out of college, because she found the academic life was not for her, despite doing well in school exams. However, this happened before she started dancing.
Furthermore, in those 7 years of dancing, my daughter has built up enough savings from her work to buy a house should she so wish. She is far more secure financially and confident socially than I was at her age.
Some people like to work into their sixties for the joy of it. Oh well, I'm a maverick for sure really when it comes to this. Work for me was never about retiring, it was about feeling needed and making life contributions.
I must point out I did say I appriciate it , as it is art, and I only posted what I know from my experience with a few college friends. I also mentioned I was not posting to judge anyone, simply was only posting what I know about the business from 5 of my college friends who are still in the business and my experience with what I saw when I went to an amateur dancers night to participate.
Again, take no offense, my post is not meant to cause any harm or offense. Thank You
The one job that I had before going stright into teaching aide and teaching was being a waitress at the Gateway...old folks home. Hated being a waitress so I stay away from those kind of boring jobs. I don't even put that job on my resume either...not worth it I think
One of my best friends are going through nursing...she works at Starbucks...phew! Boy am i proud of her. She was working a lot and going to school. she is definitely strong. she had to cut back in hours though but still putting herself through nursing by working at Starbucks. and she is flying through nursing too
I wish you all the best and hope you keep your vocation to help right through your career.
I had major surgery two years ago (breastbone cut open to remove a mass from my chest). The person who helped me most during my hospital stay was a student nurse. Her care and compassion meant so much when I couldn't sleep because I was hurting.
So is nursing... much harder work than mds. I feel like im giving somthing back. Serving chips and burgers and asking what drink they want isnt very interesting while nursing some patients tell you life stories hopes and dreams and I like that!!
Preschool. I love hearing the little ones laughing and hearing their funny made up stories...I love teaching 3-5 year olds. DOn't have the patince for 2 year olds...found that out in my last job...but definitely love the 3-5 year olds. I miss it so much
It's okay...I don't mind...moving around gives me the chance to meet new kids and parents and new ppl. I look at it as an adventure. and this unemployment won't be my life forever..I am going to work hard at being an author and getting a preschool teaching job again. It is just a bump in the road hehe
I admire anyone who can do whatever it takes to get through life. It is a job and it pays the bills so you can better your life and there is no reason to be ashamed of it. I was a pole dancer for one song because my ex wife felt the need to make me participate in a contest at a club one time... let me just say pole dancers should be considered athletes because it is not easy. I about broke my neck when I climbed up the pole and tried to slide back down... maybe men just should stick to tucking bucks and not actually trying to do the dancing but she got a kick out of it and I won a t-shirt and free drinks
n-e-ways CB you have a good of chance than anyone else beomcing a nurse whether you worked in a hospital or not while going through nursing school. Not all employers are heartless and look at your job and go "oh pole dancer nope don't take her'. they can loo at someone who worked in a hospital and say no...it's all about your drive and your character and making a good impression on employers by the work you do whhile going through nursing school and the time you do spend in the hospital working because of school. everyone has a 50/50 chance no matter the past jobs.
CB.... in agreement and as a bit of confirmation of Crazd, in Reno, NV there are tons of girls going through the nursing program that are paying for it with the money they make dancing, or at least there were the last time I was there before this latest depression.
HAHAHAH I know right. ugh irks me too when the man is right just kidding. I don't like being right ALL the time LMAO
This book that I editing now (it's taking forever lol) is actually kind of a young adult teen book but I am hoping adults will pick it up and read it too. It's about a school in Cali that isn't your typical school. it's a school that teaches its students to be demon hunters. and it kind of follows a group of juniors who are preparing for something..but not gonna give it away though you'll probably figure it out on your own hehe
YOu better write a hub with pictures on your trip woman! have fun packing and make sure nothing tries to eat you and yea i'm getting off to need to concentrate on my idas for another 4 books I want to write hehe then get to editing.
You know, the thing is that we all have a talent going for us, or something about us that we can ultimately exploit in one form or another for our own personal or financial gain. If you can write an epic novel and get paid, do it. If driving fast is something you're good at, race cars. If you have nice body and can dance, pole dance. I don't think there's anything wrong with it so long as it earns you money, you feel confident about yourself and what you're doing, and you have respect for yourself. If someone tells you you are a slut and you don't feel that's true or fair, ignore them and keep pursuing what you feel is right. If you look in the mirror and find yourself agreeing, or if you are having second thoughts about whether or not you are doing something wrong, then stop.
I don't think a person's profession defines them. Everyone needs money to survive. Some are luckier than others when it comes to finding "respectable" professions.
I'm unemployed. To the unobservant and narrow-minded fool, this means that I am lazy and expect everything to be handed to me, but this simply isn't so. I work just as hard as a person with a full time job. I am just not employed by a company, nor do I do the same thing every day of the week to get by.
Even "respectable" professions are looked down on by some people. Lawyers, for instance, are considered a "respectable" profession by many, but are deemed liars and manipulators on a daily basis. Even doctors are looked down on by some, saying that they are only in the profession for the money.
Do not let others define you by what you do or do not do. There are many of us who endure things we don't want to in order to get where we want in life. When you finally get to where you are trying to go, you will look back on the brief chapter of life where you were a pole dancer and smile because you proved everyone wrong.
According to wordscribe's insinuations you are trying to say this TK and I are the same people. Is this true? I have one identity on Hubpages..Deborah Sexton. I am too blunt and honest to hide behind another name. No one here frightens me to make me want to hide.
omgsh that is too cute! makes me want a puppy. to Barbie, as long as you are happy doing what you do, that's all that matters, but you already know that. i certainly don't have a problem with it, i mean you're not breaking the law or anything. good luck with school.
Nothing wrong with pole dancing. Nothing wrong with any job you like to do, or you enjoy doing. You can be a call-girl, a stripper, a singer, an artist, a scientist or even a president. Everything is OK ,if you're feeling OK. What people think, it's not important. What's important is what you think.
Just remember, if your daughters find out, they'll want to do it too! And their mother already having done it previously, they definitely won't care if you tell them 'no.'
Personally, I would never take off my clothes for money myself knowing that I would never be able to respect myself ever again. To me, my body is worth so much more than any amount of money I can think of. I would also not want my kids following that kind of example if I ever have kids.
If you are 100% comfortable with your decision, its all good right? Good luck!
I think many may be jealous. Most women who dance have great bodies, and I feel sure that gets a few other women offside! I am so glad you are paying for your future career doing something that entertains others and pays a good hourly rate. It leaves a little time left over for a life that way! You can also take advantage of the extra hours to study if you are not working for a low hourly rate. My son in University has ensured that all his part time jobs pay a high hourly rate. It gives him time for his sport, his girlfriend and his family, the three things he loves most.
I say use your talent and good looks as long as you can!
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