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Our Next President. Wouldn't It Be Nice.

  1. OLYHOOCH profile image61
    OLYHOOCHposted 4 years ago


    'My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

    Since Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

    This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

    Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

    The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

    Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.


    The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

    Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France ...

    In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

    Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .

    I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well.

    I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York .

    A special note to our neighbors: Canada is on List 1. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not ticking us off for a change.

    Mexico is also on List 2. Its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment.

    I will have a couple thousand extra tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to

    put 'em? Yep, border security.

    Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

    We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska -which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

    It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'

    Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America .

    It is time to eliminate homelessness

    in America . To the nations on List 1,

    a final thought. Thank you guys.

    We owe you and we won't forget.

    To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

    God bless America ...

    Thank you and good night.'

    If you can read this in English,

    thank a soldier.

    (Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens! Let's get this to every USA computer!)

    1. John Holden profile image61
      John Holdenposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      Does that mean that the UK will be able to tow all US diplomatic vehicles with unpaid tickets then? And what about the USs refusal to pay the London congestion charge?

      It would certainly help if you did pay your debts and not decide that you were above such things.

  2. Ron Montgomery profile image60
    Ron Montgomeryposted 4 years ago


    1. OLYHOOCH profile image61
      OLYHOOCHposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      AHHH, Morning, Ron. Glad to see you have not worn out your, Z, YET, LOL


  3. mikelong profile image83
    mikelongposted 4 years ago

    That isn't a speech I would want any president to give.

    The United States' "Coalition of the Willing" was hardly that. We did not "invite" the world to join us in that illegal invasion. And our involvement there is far from over. Our involvement did make sure that American companies got the lionshare of the "rebuilding" and "development" dollars....which was according to design.

    Now, if you look at a country like, say, Honduras....they didn't help us out at all in Iraq (nor was it their responsibility), but that isn't why we send them aid.

    Why don't you look at the American multinationals and private investors who dominate Honduran politics..  The coup that ousted the former President in the middle of the night (while he was still in his p.j.'s) made sure that land reform, a major issue in many "Third World" countries would have hurt foreignors (like Americans) who control most of that country's real estate. Of course, being the main launching point for South American drugs into the U.S. also helps..

    Haiti didn't "help out" in Iraq, but the U.S. sure did whatever it could to make sure Hatians working for American companies like Fruit of the Loom and Hanes didn't have to pay an increased minimum wage...  We and our corporate-crony system use those "Third World dictators" to turn profits. Look at what has happened to Nigeria since oil was discovered in the 1960's....That nation (the most populous in all of Africa) went from the bread-basket of the region, with enough domestic production of food to feed everyone and still export abroad, into a poor, hungry, and environmentally destroyed region.

    Thank you Shell, Conoco, Chevron, et al.  It wasn't that Nigeria didn't come to help us, it is just that we decided to help ourselves to them.

    I would not relinquish foreign aid to countries based on their "going along with us" into Iraq.  We should have never been there to begin with. There were international methods for dealing with the Saddam without all out war and lies to the American people.

    I'd like to see an American president go after Halliburton/KBR and companies like Dynecorp for their bilking of the American people through ridiculous over-billing towards us and short-changing in terms of projects taken on and "completed" on the behalf of us and our military. How many of our men and women in uniform were killed/injured by incidents like electrocution while taking a shower in field camps?  Too many!

    As for your border talk, tanks on the border or tanks overseas, you still have to pay for those tanks, their fuel, their crews, related maintenance/housing/food, on and on and on.  You will continue to keep spending all kinds of money on defense when a different approach is needed in this case. Tanks on the border will solve nothing.

    Weed needs to be legalized, 1) so that we can finally except the reality that prohibition fails and 2) that keeping it illegal only fattens the pockets of political cronies, gun runners, cartels, and crooked law enforcement.

    Instead of using our foreign policy (as in Haiti, Honduras, Mexico, Egypt, and many other places) to bolster regimes that give Americans domestic concessions in terms of land use, resource extraction, and population manipulation (maquilas/sweat shops, the creation of shantytowns to provide cheap labor, the creation of a labor environment where those who seek rights are killed/imprisoned) we need to demand that nations wherein U.S. companies invest (especially if it means products will be imported from those countries to the U.S.) guarantee strong wages, worker safety, and an environment that will be condusive to the generation of a middle class that isn't just made up of those who are politically favored.

    Our immigration problem is that our immigration process is biased against most would-be immigrants...it is sorely broken and needs to be revamped.


    Your "presidential speech" talks about UN diplomats, but how many American diplomats and others living abroad under protected status do the same, if not worse, and use that immunity from prosecution to get away with it?

    Remember, what the U.S. would do to these foreignors will be done to Americans abroad. Are you ready to take responsibility for that?  What would you do as a response to hostility towards Americans based on this policy?

    I should hope that this president you refer to will think about all of this, and not rush into rash and reckless statements, as you illustrate here.

  4. MikeNV profile image74
    MikeNVposted 4 years ago

    Blah.  Uninformed.