how can i make a disabled (extreme ADHD)teenage son to train and earn a living when he hates school and does not want to learn just to have fun?

The answer has to be by showing him choices and rewards.

Ask him what he wants, he'll want a car, get the car section out of the paper and get him to cut out the cars he wants and put them in an envelope marked "cars". You will then cut out the old bangers and put them in your envelope called "cars".

Do the same for all sorts. Houses, holidays, hobbies.

Then get the jobs section out and start talking about what job he would like or could do. Slowly, go through the jobs he can't do without an education and start to open the envelopes demonstrating what he can have in the lower paid jobs and what he can have with the higher paid jobs.

Then look at what's needed to achieve the higher paid jobs.

Then leave him to it to think about it. Give him all the envelopes and let him walk away to think about it.

I never understood that doing well at school impacted on your whole life. That it limited all choices.

He should then carry an envelope of the things he wants in his pocket and tell him to just touch the envelope or flick through the pictures when he felt annoyed and unfocussed.

Three of my brothers have the same thing and one of them has ADD as well. I understand exactly what your saying but you cant baby him if he is out of control then you need to take him for a visit to your nearest prision they'll scare the life out of him then take him to a uneployment office and just sit there for an hour and let him see what kind of struggle hes headed for. And after all of that take him to a nice College near by so he can see what life would be like if he tried!

First of all, being ADHD does not mean that a person is "disabled". Being ADHD means that you have a persistant pattern of impulsiveness and inattention. It is a "neurobehavioral developmental disorder", and... keep reading →

Before answering this question I checked out a previous answer and was not surprised to see an explanation of ADHD.  It seems that any discussion of a well known illness or disability gets responses from the... keep reading →