How do you decide to be a stay-at-home mom or a working mom?

I gave up my job to look after our son. Financially it was tough, but I know for our family it was the right thing to do. I took my little boy everywhere with me and as a result he was my right hand man. Now... keep reading →

That is a question that can have different answers depending on how you prioritize your life. The most important factor for a lot of people is whether or not it is financially feasible. I am a stay-at-home mother of two and my husband works very hard to make that possible for me. While we are by no means rich, we can afford all the necessities and still put a little aside for savings. And after being a stay-at-home mother for over 2 years, I can not imagine any one else looking after my kids and raising them better than I do. In fact the very thought is horrifying to me. And to see how their eyes light up when they ask me to play and I say yes is enough to make me never want to leave them to go to work.

Choosing not to work also does not have to be a permanent decision. I myself am thinking about getting a regular job after both my children are in school. But I fully believe that if you are willing and able to be home with them for the earliest years when they grow and develop the fastest, it will be the most rewarding decision you will ever make both for you and for them.

For most women around the world, the option of having this decision is not one that would cross their minds. Most women throughout time have had to work "outside" the home even if it meant tending their gardens, milking the cows, feeding and slaughtering the fowl.

I make no claims of being anyone who can give advice about children or child rearing, but I can respond with experience and tales.

I have three sons, 19,16, and 10. I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I was for the first nine months of my life. The twists and turns of life made my staying at home financially impossible.

The transition to working mom was heart wrenching for me, but my little one loved the new activities, new people, new foods, etc.

Your children will be fine if you work outside the home and they will be fine if you stay at home. Both scenarios require time and attention, both have their up sides and both have their down sides. I could list lots of those sides, but they vary from family to family, so you will need to consider them in relation to your family.

Ultimately your children need to know you love them, they need to know the behavioral limits of the family, and they need to be safe. It is not a guarantee that children who are in day care will be harmed OR that children who are at home are safe. (Recall most people who are molested as children are harmed by people they know as close family friends or family members.)

Talk to your children, love them, expect them to screw up, hold them accountable for their foibles, and again love them.

Stay at home/work outside the home? Do what is best for your family. No matter what you do, you will be tired, you will be happy, your children will need more than you can give, you will want to give things they do not want, and everyone grows up!

It's a wild wonderful ride. Enjoy.

 I am fortunate to have a "stay at home" daughter who is raising her children while her husband works. I was able to watch them work through their various processes of decision making on the subject -... keep reading →

> Passion is the essential ingredients in doing something out of obligation. Being a mother, choosing to stay at home is not really a difficult decision but somewhat need to think twice. In... keep reading →

  The decision whether to be a stay at home mom or to work outside the home can be one of the most difficult questions a mother has to face.   Sometimes, the decision is out of her hands.  Sometimes,... keep reading →