Spanking as a form of discipline

My child psychology professor put it well: "You tell a child you love them, then *smack*. Don't do that, you'll get hurt, *smack*." Eventually some, though certainly not all, kids put together the idea that you love me so *smack*. The problem with spanking is that it is frequently misused, and can develop into serious abuse later on.

But there are other ways to discipline your child. Get creative.Limit them from activities. Restrict them to certain tasks. And most importantly, spend time with them, showing them how to act and do things. They learn from watching us, so make sure your behavior is what you want them to learn.

It is a matter of choice. I personally do not believe in spanking in the true sense of the work. I think it's demeaning and serves no beneficial purpose and has taught your child that hitting is a form of authority. Boundaries need to be clearly defined and consequences understood. When the child crosses the boundaries, the appropriate natural consequence should be enforced. 'Spare the rod, spoil the child' does not mean to literally use a rod. It is an orientalism and refers to keeping your child in line, as the shepherd used the rod to steer his sheep.

The word discipline means to teach and train, so it has to do with learning. So discipline is implemented for the good of the child, to help them learn the difference between right and wrong, and to teach them how to make good choices. When you think of child discipline in this way, child abuse is at the opposite end of the scale has nothingto do with child discipline.

Spanking can be used as a form of discipline,as with other methods, however I think that it should be used in extreme circumstances. If used frequently, a child is likely to conclude that physical violence as an acceptable way of dealing with situations.

If a parent feels that spanking is the only alternative left as a consequence, as all else has failed then I would say that spanking should be done when the parent has calmed down, and the reason for its use explained to the child. Spanking should never be done in anger, and only used for exceptional circumstances .

There are plenty of alternative ways to discipline kids effectively, and if these are used properly spanking should not even be needed.

Sometimes spanking becomes absolutely necessary. A part of a child’s growth is to test the boundaries of acceptable behavior. The child pushes an issue as far as it can go. To get it to understand, reasoning and yelling are the normal steps taken by parents. Beyond this, when the child does it again, spanking, unfortunately is the viable solution. Reasoning should immediately follow, to let the child know what brought the spanking. A very demonstrative show of love, next, will reassure the child that its crossing the limit and not hatred, caused the spanking.

No, spanking is not child abuse as long as it is done as a last resort to discipline the child.

Spanking is definitely not child abuse. "Spare the rod and spoil the child". However, there are some sad circumstances where "tough" parents over do it. E.g beating a child with a belt or leaving marks on them. For a kid, a little slap on the wrist should suffice.

Corporal punishment is not necessary in raising children successfully. There are other forms of discipline such as, reducing pocket money, grounding, standing in a corner etc.

Many parents know their children well enough to know which forms of discipline their children respond to. If it takes spanking to bring a lesson to light, it should be the parents right to make that decision. All children are not the same. Certainly, there is a difference between spanking and beating a child, but that's not the question, is it? I believe it's a dangerous path to walk when the abuse label hangs over a parent for trying to keep a child from dashing into the street.

I don't think that it's necessary for successful child rearing because I was spanked in the worse way when I was a child and it only mase me angry and resentful. I have four children and I may have only spanked them about 3 times in their life/Their ages are 17,16,14,12.Of course kids are going to be kids and mine were bad in their own way,but who isn't.I think spanking kids just allows you to relieve your anger.

My wife was physically abused as a child, so I would never spank.

My hub on the topic:

http://hubpages.com/hub/10-Reasons-Not-to-Spank-Ch

Um lets see here if a person comes up to you on the streets and bends you over and spanks you you could call the cops and they could go to jail so why would it be any different to do that to a child. they don't know any better your there to teach them right from wrong but doing wrong is not gonna teach them right . i know its hard i have a child and something im like ah but i always just tell him no and why he can't do it. children are small you have to remember that your minds are small to they are trying to understand the world around them and why and what is happening if you don't teach them what is going on and why there are things that are wrong and right they won't know. spanking them will just make the have built of feelings towards you you don't want your child to think of you as the person that would hurt them parents are there to protect there child not hurt them.

Spanking, if done improperly can be child abuse. There are many variables that need to be taken into account when a parent makes the decision whether to use spanking as a form of discipline. This is such a loaded question, that I believe I will take the time to write a hub of my own on this particular subject.

For you psychology buffs out there who believe that all spanking is child abuse and you want to sit down and reason with them is kind of like trying to reason with a drunk. It isn't going to happen. One only need to visit our public schools to see what happens when discipline and authority is taken out.

There are children who should never be spanked. What I am talking about here is children in adoptive homes who have truly been the victim of child abuse. It takes a very special, patient and loving family to help these children cope and learn to trust.

Do not spank in anger. A child must first of all know that spanking is a consequence for certain behavior. It should not be done for every infraction, but rather very infrequently and for extremely bad behavior. Before you spank, you should camly take the child into another room alone and ask them why they are about to receive a spanking. If they don't give the correct response then you tell them so they have no doubt why the spanking is being imposed. Let's say for example they broke something very valuable that you had told them to leave alone and their answer was that they were getting a spanking for breaking whatever that might be. You'd say, no, your aren't getting a spanking for breaking that, you are getting a spanking because you disobeyed me by handling it in the first place. You breaking it was part of the consequences of not doing what you were told. Spanking should always be on the buttocks and should not be a beating, but should be severe enough to bring discomfort that normally would cause tears. Finally, and I know that this will throw a lot of you for a loop, you should hug your child, tell them you still love them, and get down and pray, yes I said pray with them.

spanking doesn't teach your kids anything except that it's ok to hit their siblings or their friends. Reserve a smack for if the child does something dangerous. I once saw someone smack their child after he ran into the middle of the street. They then told their told that the smack hurt a lot less than what it would have felt like to get hit by a car.

Should you spank your child or not? In psychology when we want a person to learn something we may use positive or negative reinforcement. However spanking qualifies as neither and is usually considered a... keep reading →

This is one of those questions that, in my opinion, there are no clear right or wrong answers. Before I had children I vowed that I never would spank my kids, what could it teach them except that their mother hits? Well now that I have three kids and love and care for them more than I ever imagined I could before they were born the anwser for me is this: sometimes there is not other option to get my point across. Some would argue that if I were more intellegent then I could find a way to teach them without a spanking. I agree. I also try to disipline my children as oppose to punish despite this even I find it nessasary to spank occasionally. I think that spanking can be child abuse if done in anger, or to much. I also think that at a certian age it should stop like eight or nine. Ideally it should never happen but if you do it because you really feel like nothing else will get through, and while in compleat control of yourself and your emotions then it is not child abuse either.

I am 25 years old and do not have children of my own yet however after working with children for 7 years I have come to realize that spanking children teaches them nothing.

I was spanked when I was a kid and growing up always swore I would probably spank my own children. I don't think spanking is child abuse however I do ask that if you spank your children you take this into consideration:

At 2 years old children still can't think that far back, so if they did something and the problem isn't addressed within the first 5 minutes, the child probably forgot they committed any sort of "crime." Second, children learn by example, no matter their age, right? Ok, so think about that, if you get mad at your child for something they did and instead of talking to them or sitting them down to think about their action you spank them (which in reality is hitting them), what do you think they learn....to hit when they are mad.

I noticed this problem in my classroom, parents who believed in spanking their children as the number one form of punishment in the home had children who "spanked" their classmates when they felt angry and frusterated. Parent's who spoke to their children about the problem immediately after it's accurance, had children who came to the teachers and spoke about their problem instead of using aggressive behaviors to act out on.

Just some food for thought :)

I'm going to be the bad guy here and say there is no reality of discipline through spanking a child!

If you want to teach your children how to be violent and insensitive then go on, spank away! See, we as adults are much Bigger than kids and an angry adult is frightening enough for a child much less a child being whacked for doing the wrong thing.

I am a mother of seven and I am proud to say that the only physical thing my kids get are hugs kisses and a ride on my back or shoulders. My kids are well behaved and kept under control. I am a strict parent a very strict parent in fact and I take no nonsense.

I take pride in saying there are ways to help your child learn from mistakes and to do it without even raising your voice. Rather than a whimsical slap, wherever on their fragile little bodies.

Time out is a wonder if used properly. My seven year olds get told to take the garbage out (which little girls HATE) or to clean the cat litter tray. My boys are told to wash things or bring in the wahing.

Another thing I implement is the revocation of "screen time" which means no tv or computer time for however long.

Above all telling your child that their actions or behaviours is unacceptable is the key. Trust me when I say there are MANY other ways to discipline your child and maintain your "authority" without the use of physical anything.

SPare the rod spoli the child is taken out of context. The extreme religious right has given spanking a bad name recently, The take it to mean a literal rod. True all kids need some kind of disclipline sometimes. Too much , not enough or the wrong kind can be a problem. Dr.Spock caused quiet the stir saying dont spank and look where it got us.

I feel sorry for the poor teachers in school who can not discipline kids without hearing from parents or school board. Even parents cant disciline children without CPS on them. If they act out of ontrol and violent you cant do anything back to them which is sad. I read here in a nearby town a 14 year old autistic, 200 pounds, student attacked a bus driver and he got permanent marks from biting. Autistic or not you should be able to defend yourself. One school use a seclusion closet the only one of tis kind. It gives them a chance to calm down without being a threat to other students..Spanking if used wisely may correct some behviors but hsouldnt be misused.