My son is 19 going on 10. Do teen boys ever grow up???

Mine are 26 and 23 and they haven't so good lucK and God Bless you :) But I love them anyway! Nineteen is still pretty young. I don't think age and maturity, really come together at any magic number. People mature at different ages. People mature differently when overcoming different types of emotional or physical struggles in their lives as well. As in my children' s case, they both have physical and emotional disabilities. Sometimes teens just want to stay teens a little longer too! I believe that they fear being out on their own and facing the responsibility that comes with working and completing higher education. They are afraid to fail! Sometimes you have to face that fear, to succeed!

I keep hearing that the magic age is 30. Good Lord. 11 more years of this?

Aging, I think you've hit the nail on the head. As my son was growing up, I was the only disciplinarian he had since I was a single mom. I would tell him "no" and my son would run to his dad or another family member until he heard "yes". I took his cell phone away when he rang up $500 in overage charges. His aunt bought him a new one. He had 4 bikes stolen because he would forget to put the locks on so I told him he would have to save to pay for his next bike. Guess what he got for Christmas from Dad? A new bike. No matter how big or small the problem, there was always someone there to bail him out.

NO!

Just kidding, I have a 21 yr old son who happens to be very mature. He can act like a goober at times, but for the most part, I am very proud of the man he's turning into.

However, I live with my boyfriend and his 17 yr old son. This child has been given the world by the hands (by his dad) and he does nothing but disrespect the man. He is extremely selfish and acts like a 10 yr old at times. He is very polite when he's with everyone else, but when he's at home...it's a completely different story.

I think the answer lies mostly in the way the child is brought up.

I wish I had this answer mine is 22. Good luck

That age is a little bit difficult. It´s normal that with 19 years the teenagers don´t behave yet as their father and mother would like. My opinion is that people really grow up in about 25-30 years old. Only a little percentage grow up sooner.

Teenage boys do grow up, or rather they will get out of the teen years.

If you mean by growing up - that they will take responsibility for themselves, that is also up to you. The more responsibility and independence we gave them in earlier years, that will have become part of their nature.

If you mean by growing up - getting out of that awful attitude that

teenagers have and the way they speak to others, especially their parents - this is very much related to the above. But even responsible teenagers can have a stream of that horrible back-talking.

To make him grow up - you have to put your foot down, no more

pampering. Tough - yes, but it's only for a short while. The other option - to keep things as they are - is painful for a much longer period. Up to you.

Irohner, that is horrible you were underminded so many times by people who weren't raising your son. But from my experience, they grow up in their mid-twenties, when they're out on their own, working, paying bills, "skidding on their face" as I heard many older men say. Good luck.

it's bad news I'm afraid, I'm 42 going on 10!

There's usually a period around 30-ish when we decide we really should be a bit more mature, but it soon passes.

Have you instilled in him the disciplines needed for him to mature as well as make productive decisions? I believe in order to reap good benefits you must sow good seeds!

Vonda G. Nelson

About teen boys:

Teen boys do need positive male role models. Unfortunately when their 'dad' is just the opposite, they get a lousy picture of what it is to be a man.

Real responsibility and firm consequences can work with teens, but must be consistent.

If mom or dad dad bails him out, gives him money and spoils him in the face of lousy behavior, that's a cop-out and does more harm than good.

My 17 year old son sounds just like your son. As a single mom, I have successfully raised a set of twin girls. Both have graduated from college and are wonderfully responsible adults. My teenaged boy often leaves me frustrated. However, my worst nightmare almost came true last week when I almost lost him in an accident. Today, I am so glad to have him by my side and am willing to wait until he is ready to grow up even if it takes another 10+ years. I am just thankful to have those years ahead of us.

Hi Iroh! Theres some great advice here! Mines nineteen and a college Junior a good kid but he has his moments. Everybody has to be on the same page! You'll never get a handle on any issue otherwise. My wife and I were always consistant, the rules are the rules. We also had a reward system, good grades and good behavior earned percs. Our son responded to that very well. Hes not a saint and there are times when we get sideways with him but not many at all. You need some cooperation with the rest of his family! God Bless.

As a 26 year old man (boy), I can tell you that we never grow up. Sometimes, I look at my 53 year old father and think he is half my age. Your son will get older, and take on more responsibility, but like I said....we never grow up. :-)

No. My mother told me that men didn't grow up until they were 40. She lied to me. In my experience they never do.

I am 63 and still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. Boys tend to stay in their teens forever. Plenty of time later to grow up, or not. Put seven or eight 30 year old men in a room. Turn the TV sports and add beer. You will not be able to tell the difference between them and a bunch of 19 year olds or a bunch of 45 year olds. We act mature sometime, but it is an act. Girls actually do mature past 19. You are lucky you had two of them.

Teen boys grow up, but age doesn't make them a man. Men decide to take responsibility for themselves, and unfortunately today many boys don't grow into men, for it seems that many parents today bail them out and this keeps them dependent. There is a growing "entitlement" mentality that parents often create (not always) when a parent decides it's easier to help them than it is to let them fall and take responsibility for their own actions which always forces one to grow up or forever remain immature..

I also believe that the divorce rate has left many boys without a father, and it takes a man to help a boy grow up into a man.

If I were you, I would ask him if he could help me out what he would do.

Find out his interests first. Everyone wants to help someone but Nobody wants to told what to do.

I was a father figure for few young Men throughout my life. And one example of this comes to mind. This paticular young Ladd I am thinking of lost his piece of S- - - Father to Divorce at a young age of 11.

Anyway long story short I managed apartments back then and hired him to help out with repairs lawn etc. Plan was to teach him and let him make some cash etc.

He was and still is a great kid now(20) at the age of about 14 something began to change I noticed some rebellion whenever I told him what to do as far as work. Mind you I was working right along side of him as he was a helper not working by himself.

This confused me for while and I was becoming frustrated with him I did not want to yell at him nor fire him, He had enough of this from his Dad growing up already.

After thinking about this for a while and judging from Myself I dedided to change the way I approached him. So instead of telling him to do this or that, I now approached him with the Words, "Hey could you do me a favor please" Worked like a charm! as he loved me and wanted to help but like most of us

didn't want to be told what to do.

We still talk about this today and laugh about it. Now we are still very close and He is grown up enougn that I just tell him what to do loser. Many laughs and love from both of us

However I am a firm believer in asking rather than telling young kids and making them feel like they are contributing.

Its a fine line but one that can be crossed

Dennis