Loading... Do you care what others think or say about you behind your back?

I used to but not anymore... I used to get very upset when I found out through others about what was said behind my back when I was not around. And then I went on to run my own businesses which meant that there will always an unhappy employee no matter how well they were treated. So I got pretty thick skin.

Long Story Short...people can say what they want and we can't control them..but we can control ourselves and our emotions and not let it affect us.

As Paolo Coelho, Author of The Alchemist says :

What other people think of you is none of your business.

Not entirely. I might get upset at their negative comments because they are incorrect. If they are right in their words, I will regretably ignore the comment. But if they are incorrect mostly I just laugh and debate. And yes, I know many people like that. They are leeches, clinging on only to cause more harm for their own survival. However, in the end they tend to cause their own death with their tongue. Or at least they used to.

I have to be honest, not really I have three ways of looking a people who see fit to talk about me

1. I am delighted for them. I am thrilled that their lives are going so well that they have nothing to worry about, nothing to concern them other than what goes on in my life.

2. If they are talking about me then they are giving some other poor soul a break

3. They don't pay my bills, put food on my table, look after my children so they don't get a say into how I run my life and therefore their opinion is irrelevant.

I know what people say can be hurtful, but actually it can be more hurtful when people actually believe the gossip, especially people who you think should know better.

Alway remember, if a person is gossiping TO you, you can be 100% guaranteed they are gossiping ABOUT you!

My first gut reaction was to say no, especially since I am of an age now where I shouldn't care what anyone says about me. But that would be a lie. It would be a lie if anyone said no. On some level, each of us does care what others think and say about us. If we didn't care, we would have no feelings. Now, as for chameleons who say one thing and do another, in reference to me, then no, I don't care because they are not important to me. The only time I care is when it is a person whom I love or care deeply for, someone whose opinion I respect, that kind of thing. They matter to me, so what they think or say about me matters, too.

Nope. After many years of dealing with back talkers and back stabbers I have come to realize that I have to live with myself and that what others say or think of me does not matter. They are the ones who have to deal with the consequences of their actions when it comes back to them. What goes around comes around. This is me if you dont like it than Im sorry but you dont have to be my friend. Got be hard against those who try to hurt you. The truth will hurt.

In a nutshell, no, I don't care what others are saying behind my back. In the past, I've wasted too much of my time and sanity to give others power over me again. When you worry about what others are saying you are giving them power over your life which can result in you experiencing a myriad of behavioural changes. There will always be someone who wants to make a comment about what I've said, done, wore etc, but it's their time they are giving up, not mine. On the other hand, there might well be people saying positive things about me behind my back, like Rachel Hunter says in the ad, "It may not happen over night, but it will happen!"

No, I don't care if they are just 'other people', but if those people are important to me whom I respect and love then I do care about what they think about me, basically, I want to be the best for the people whom I think great and best too. If ever I'll find them ridiculing me behind my back, or have negative opinions about me instead of saying it to me directly, but heard it from other people accidentally, then that really hurts. :) I would be really really affected.

I know some people who always have negative comments on their fellows and I don't befriend them- to avoid harboring negative feelings about them and keep on feeling sorry for the people they are ridiculing. It is just so unhealthy and will keep me away from the kind of life i want to have.

since, I hate people talking behind my back, I hate to talk people behind their back too unless of course if it is an appreciation. I always reminding myself that if I were them, what would I feel? That thought is always enough for me to be silent if there is nothing good to say.

To a point , I do...........

yes, I care about how others interpert me, how I come across.........yes, I do care.

At the end of the day, I just want to know a little bit more about who my associates are and those who are working against me.

I am not going to " change " my basic self, to accomadate others, but IF, I might learn to approach them in a different way.............yes, I care.

These things apply to my professional life.

I don't give a tinkers damn, if others think that gardening is drudgery, if goats stink, and chickens are a feathered flock...........

I AM me..........I am willing to learn and grow, but I am NOT willing to be dictated to, so that, I can meet your approval in class. I am who I am, and I do, what I do.

Sometimes, the two , just can not meet.

When I was younger it did matter to me, but now it really doesn't worry me now.

I'm happy with who I am and if they have nothing better to do than to slate me behind my back then maybe I'm doing something right, people only slate others when they themselves are lacking confidence in themselves and want to bring others down.

I also have no interest in what others have to say about people behind their backs and I will say so.

I come from a family with a negative outlook. I've gotten to the point where I don't put much importance on what they say, especially when I'm not there. Instead I trust people to build their own opinion of me, based on what I do, who I am, etc. Anyone who chooses to believe gossip, rumour, negative stuff is not someone I'd really care about anyway. Long ago I learned to form my own opinion and keep an open mind until I know the facts.

It does bother me. I hate fake people that smile in your face and talk about you behind your back. I try to be kind to everyone but its very hard when they really mean you no good

Would you agree with me when i say: We get alike with people around us.

My suggestion would be a "public chameleon" filter; get involved with people that satisfy your relationship needs.

When one knows what he's doing - others find out. Good friends are like stars, you only see them when night comes, in this case it's when the trouble comes.

I think they say I'm intimidating as hell and....cocky.

I've met that sort of people, they were never my friends but they did made up stuff about me behind my back and then acted like nothing happened when they were with me. At first it shocked me and I tried so hard to prove they were lying. But then I grew into thicker skin and learnt that it's not worth my suffering, I would let the other people eventually realise what was going on. But now I really don't care; I know who I am and the people that I surround myself with make me stronger and I wish everyone could be this strong, because I know it sucks. And no I'm not a two faced person, I say things upfront and honestly, and I haven't got anything nice to say to anyone then I don't say anything.

Yes, because what ever they say the best person to know me clearly is me, but if i could hear anything wrong about me i would only think in such a way that the way i exibited my self is wrong its a failure on my part, so, the comments and criticisms will certainly help me to know whether i am able to project myself clearly and cleanly. I will not go and quarrel with them for their wrong comments rather i would take their comments as chance to correct myself. Because it is easy to change ourselves than trying to change the other person.

I used to care what others thought of me but, as I got older, I really don't care anymore. I think most people tear others down to build themselves up. That just shows that those people have real self esteem problems. Who cares what a person like that thinks. I don't.

Oh God....back biting never ends! To some degree you really shouldn't, and I don't mean the shouldn't that means you are acting all thick skinned and you're not. I mean the shouldn't that gives you andept understanding and explains from the core that they are of no importance to you. Their life is null of void until they utter your silly name. When you think about it if you haven't caused anyone any pain or hurt, there is no reason for them to speak of you behind your back unless kind words are being uttered. You have to realize that people are so simple and hate themselves to a degree that they must spew their hate else where. Most of the time it's a dysfunctional attraction of some sort.......shit, just dysfunctional and mind boggling. Sometimes they feel they deserve to possess whatever this individual posseses. On the other hand, there will be friends, family and people you deal with that talk unkindly behind your back. Judst be in the know and know who they are. These type of people are very dangerous and are usually up to no good. You have to know how to deal with them if you choose to at all.

P.S. this type of behavior is a given for back biters, whether you have experienced it first hand or not

It doesn't even warrant a second thought in my opinion what people say behind my back. If it turned out to be a close friend or family member however that would make a difference.

I believe that anyone who will bad talk someone else to you, will also bad talk about you to someone else so I'm always trying to stay away from these types.