Loading... Do you believe that a parent has a right to intervene with an 18 year old?

A parent has the right to intervene even if their 'child' is 40 years old, for as long as we live, our children are in our hearts and minds, and we will intervene if we see danger or error in their path.

Now back to the real world, once they reach majority, they are liable for themselves and we have fulfilled our obligation to them.

Scripture tells us that if we teach a child the ways of God, they will not depart when they are older, and I have found that to be true.

They all stray, heck WE all stray, but if we have done the correct teaching, we also turn back to the fold at the relevant point in our lives that we see our error.

Not a right, but nonetheless, an obligation as a parent to offer sound advice and hope that it does not fall on deaf ears.

My Dad, spoke these exact words to me.......back, when I was approaching 18 or 19............and thinking that I was " grown".

My legal responsibility to you might end, but my moral one, never, will.

You have a right to voice your concerns, but not to restrain her. She will expect you in her corner..............either to fall back into your protection, or to say, " well, I guess you knew what you were doing, after all".

Do the one that most fits the situation.

It worked wonders for my Dad and me. As his turned out for us, he adores my children, and welcomes my hubby.

Had it turned out differently, he still, would have adored my children.

This is a question with a complicated answer, but I'll give it a shot anyway;

Do the parents have a legal right to intervene?

By legal definition, eighteen is the age of consent, meaning that she is considered an adult, she can vote, she can move out, and no legal authority is going to drag her back home as a runaway. So if she wants to follow her boyfriend across the country, she is legally free to do so. So legally speaking, her parents do not have the right to intervene.

Do her parents have the "parental right" to intervene? (in this instance the term parental right is not being used as a legal term but is being used to describe the inherent relationship between a parent and a grown child)

Parents don't stop being parents just because a child (especially a daughter) turns eighteen . The parents have to "right" to object; and to disagree with her decision. They also have the right to show their objection or disapproval in a manner of their choosing; this includes not lending financial support to their adult child's decision.

She is after all an adult now, and is like all other adults, responsible for the consequences of her actions, both legally and financially.

The parents may also want to point out to her that her boyfriend who is in the military, and who is deployable, is not eligible for housing or benefits for his girlfriend whom he is not married to. So, she cannot live with him in government housing, and if he is an E-3 or below, he definitely isn't making enough money to support her, especially during a deployment.

Legal authority perhaps not. moral yes. intervene of course. Parents will always be concerned f their children.

As a parent you can certainly tell her how you feel, and outline the problems she is likely to face. Legally at 18 she is an adult and there is nothing you can really do to keep her home.

You have to let her know you love her and will be there for her if and when it all falls apart. Apart from the, there is little you can do--and nothing legally.

if 18 is legal age where you live, no, they don't.

concern or advise, perhaps, but not interference

The law says that the parent has no right to intervene. "Intervening" doesn't mean "staying silent", though. I don't think that means the parent should necessarily keep silent and just act happy about it. I do think, though, the conversation should be kept calm and the points the parent makes should be non-emotional, common-sense, points. I don't think the parent should feel she can't voice her own personal feelings about it either. Calm discussion tends to be heard better than emotions-loaded discussion.

I wouldn't emphasize the financial end of things, because kids can interpret that as an attempt to control their choices with money. I, personally, might stick to the following kind of point: "Science now knows that no matter how grown-up young people are, their brains still aren't completely finished maturing until early- to mid- twenties; and until then, some of the choices they make can be based on thinking very differently than they may think a couple of years from now."

I think, under the circumstances of having a daughter say that was her plan, I'd tell her I had reservations but would support her choice, but I'd request she wait six months before taking further steps with the plan. I'd mention that if she were really unhappy staying home for another while that wasn't reason to move in with a boyfriend; and if the issue was that she would miss her boyfriend so much she couldn't stand being without him, I'd point out that wives (and husbands) who are grown-up find ways of living with missing someone and/or not being able to be with them in person.

Having said that, I have a friend who did just what the daughter in your question wants to do - and she didn't tell her parents she was going to do it either. My friend is now in her mid-fifties, has been with her husband ever since, owns her own house, added a top on so her elderly and widowed mother could have her own living space, and has three kids (one of whom has already graduated a private college with two majors and at the very top of her class).

Your parents will always be exactly that, your parents. They have every right to state their objections. They can't stop you from going but as my own personal experience has taught me, you might want to stop for just a few minutes and listen to their reasons.

My parents raised me to be independent and gave me wings to fly but I always knew there was a net there to catch me should I fail. Whatever you choose to do, don't close the door with your parents. They love you unconditionally and whatever they are saying to you, no matter how much you disagree, it's coming from a place of love. They may be objecting out of fear of losing you. It may be they don't like the idea of you moving in with your boyfriend being unmarried. As others have stated, he stands a strong probability of being deployed and if so, you will not have any housing or financial support from the military being unmarried. Listen to their reasons and make your own call but listen first, don't just shut down on them.

I'm old and have done both in my lifetime, ignored my parents and listened to them. The one thing I know now, I should have listened more than I ignored! I am beyond thankful that I have a close and wonderful relationship with my parents. Honey, I'm 54 and my Dad still calls me to tell me that I might need to turn the tv on to a local station with bad weather threatens - I live in Oklahoma, we have nasty weather! I don't even want to think about the future without my Dad in it but he's almost 80. It's coming. And the first time that a tornado threatens my town and there's no phone call, I will be in tears.

Whatever you do, don't close the door with your parents just to prove you are right! Keep talking to them. Even if you go.

Give wise counsel? Yes. Can a parent prohibit it? Probably not.

The Frog

No. She is 18 and above the age of needing her parents help. Parents are required to watch over their children when they are under the age of 18. As she is above 17, she can do anything she wants at this point without the two who brought her to life.

Even though I'm 19, I volunteered to stay with my parents because I moved out then moved back in. My roommate was a horrid person and even worse living buddy.

I think a parent has the right to intervene if the child still lives under their roof or receive any kind of financial help. Otherwise, no.

I can understand a parent wanting to intervene because they love their child & want the best for them. Whether they believe they are doing it for the right reasons or not it will most likely only do more harm than good. It would be hard for a parent to let go of their child especially if they felt their child was making a huge mistake, but that is for them to figure out in the end. Once your an adult you need to learn to take responsibility for your own life & part of that is making your own decisions & following what you believe is the right thing to do no matter how insane it may be. In the end I'm sure this person will realise whether this decision was right for them or not. Parents in the end will always offer advice, correction etc no matter how old you are.