Should a mother punish her 17 year old daughter for having sex with her boyfriend?

I believe sex should be kept for marriage but, unfortunately as much as we want our children to believe what we believe, and that what we teach them is right and good, and no matter how much we talk to them about the reasons why casual sex is dangerous physically, emotionally and spiritually alas if they are doing it we can not stop them. Therefor, we must make sure they are protected by any means that we legally can. We must make sure our daughters are seeing a Gynecologist who is making sure they are caring for themselves and protecting themselves properly from STD's and pregnancy. We should be taking our sons to their physicians and making sure they are being protected and tested for STD's. If giving them health-care and knowledge is the best we can do for them, then that is what we should do. Teens can not be locked in their rooms. They will find a place and a time to have sex if that is what they want to do. We can only teach them what our moral standing is, teach them about STD's, pregnancy and so on, but they will still do what they want in the end. I know this, I have 2 sons who are 23 and 26 who are still unmarried and a 17 year old niece I am currently raising. Her mother taught her one thing, I am trying to teach her another! I am losing :( I love her enough to do what I can to see that she at least protects herself! I wish No meant they wouldn't do it! And no punishment would change their mind, it would simply make them rebel more and be sneakier!

I don't think your daughter should be anywhere near your boyfriend.

I wouldn't recommend punishing her at all. You want her to trust you enough to feel comfortable confiding in you, especially if she is sexually active.

I would sit her down and say something like, "I'm disappointed that you and your boyfriend are having sex and I wish you would reconsider your decision. You know my feelings about sex before marriage. However, I also want to to know that whatever you do, I will still love you, and if you ever need any help you can rely on me."

Make sure that she is using protection and make sure she understands how important it is that she finishes her education, and how difficult that will be if she has to tote a baby around. A lot of girls her age think of babies kind of like cute dolls you can dress up and coo over, not thinking about the sleepless nights and the colic and the sheer amount of attention (and or hundreds of dollars per week in childcare) a baby requires, day and night. At her age, having a baby would pretty much ruin her life, especially with the economy so bad right now.

If taken for granted, then the vice gets multiplied, it takes other forms, then on a large scale it becomes a part of life and enjoyment. Finally children will not know who their father is. A stitch in time saves nine, society will get cleaned.

But then world is changing. And it is not for good.

In this case you say the teens are on and off and now they are very attached. What now they are seeking from you is your acceptance for their marriage. Accept them and marry them.

I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses so I believe in sex only after you are married. I believe that the two of them having sex is wrong, and even though they are serious about their relationship, who knows how they will feel in 2 or 3 years. nPeople change and so do feelings. If the daughter becomes pregnant then she is tied to this boy who sjhe might not even like later. She might even get an STD. As regards physical disciplining that usually doesn't help, but she should sit down and talk about it with her daughter very seriously, and very soon.

I don't think punishing her is the answer, but communication and making sure she is safe should be a top priority.

At her age the more you demand and punish for something like this the more your teenager will rebel by doing it even more,

Sit the teenager down talk to them as if an adult after all in their mind they are adults express your concerns of pregnancy and diseases suggest protection but remain clam

I can say, and this is the unpopular view amongst stiff collared zealots, that as a teenager I see no issue with what your daughter is doing.

She is just exploring herself (and apparently her boyfriend) and intrapersonal intelligence is important for anyone who wishes to grow into a well rounded human being.

Physically there is no harm assuming she used protection. Morally - well it depends where you stand on the subject - however, you cannot make all of her decisions for her. If you come down on her hard for it then she will still do it but she will do it with resentment in her heart. Surely that is worse than with passion.

Luke.

The reality is that legally at this point she is an adult. While most people think of 18 as adulthood, many states acknowledge 17 or even 16 as the age of consent. I think the more appropriate thing to do is have a conversation with the daughter about the risks associated with it and ways to protect her from disease and pregnancy. Parents need to be realistic. I know it is hard to let go of your baby and the thought of your child having sex is sickening, but we are humans with natural desires and these desires start much younger than 17. If the daughter made it to 17 before losing her virginity the mother should be grateful. At this point the daughter is going to do what she wants to do. Straining the relationship through punishment is bound to make the situation worse.

How can you punish her? I'm sure you have already, but howabout explaing the ramifications of premarital sex - the emotional impact on females and the risk of disease. At this point you need to be a support to her as a person and discuss the possible ouotcomes.

This is not a Jerry Springer take on weird relationships where the mother is angry because the daughter brought home another baby without a father and does not have a job.  This is an answer to a question... keep reading →

If it was permiscous. However, at 17, it's generally love. Just put yourself in her shoes.

Honestly I don't think that punishment will do anything for the daughter. She's just going to turn around and do it again when she has the chance anyway. You need to sit her down and have a talk with her. Let her know how you feel about it, while also making sure she understands the consequences of sex before marriage. Sex is not a simple thing that can be taken lightly, but punishing a 17 year old is going to only make her will to do it stronger.

i would let her know we as parents would like for them to consider the consequences of their actions and to study all the sexually transmitted diseases that could possibly happen to them and to consider that it only takes one time to get pregnant and that we do not agree or approve of them having sex. we would hope that they will have the respect to wait but if not to at least keep talking to the parents openly about it. Just remeber that even if they don't wait we as parents can say we tried to convince them to wait unitll they are old enough to understand what they are doing.

Mother have to punish her daughter b'cause she is not adult yet. She don't know about sex, she just knows about fun enjoy.

Punish her but not strongly.

sex is the vital source ov relaxation in human lyfe but it shuld be take in notice that for every thing there is a tyme and if we are not caring ov tyme it vil hav automatically its worst effects...here in this case its not gud to hav a sex wd boyfrend but if it is happend so there is no need cry over spilt milk...punishment shuld not better ....

i really wouldnt punish her as you want your daughter to be able to confide in you and trust you..and if you punish her about having sex with her boyfriend and get cross then she is lss likely going to be able to come to you in the future as she will think.." she will just get made at me there is not point telling" and you want ur daughter to come too you about anything!!

My personal opinion is to let her know that she is being sensible ie: protection then doing it with her boyfriend is acceptable.

tell her you care and your not trying to be nosy tell her you love her ask if she was safe and try not to encourage her but offer her condoms and birth control take on the friend role not so motherly without getting into to much detail odnt punish but tell her of risk

Punish, NO.. Encourage, YES. At this point you cannot let your emotions overtake you. Now is the time to encourage your daughter to make the right decisons and not give in to peer pressure. Explain the consequences of having sex, it's not all it's cracked up to be. I tell my daughter all the time(she's 17) that I love her dearly but if I could have waiting to have sex I would have. I am just getting my life back and she has seen me constantly struggling day in and day out by being a single parent. I've told her if you just feel like you have to have sex use protection because not only can a baby come out this but HIV, herpes, AIDS and so on. You can't be mad, because we didn't become single parents by majic. All we can do as single parents is just encourage them to make the right decisons and to guard their bodies.