My husband has grown complacently obese. I don't find him sexually attractive anymore. Any advice?

It's posible that your husband doesn't feel like it matters anymore. It takes a lot of effort to lose weight at all, let alone a LOT of weight. If you feel like you are ready to "toss in the towel," I am sure that he senses that and says to himself, "oh well!"

Maybe try this approach; Sit with him and tell him you love him, "unconditionally." Tell him you understand how difficult it must be to change his eating habits, but you are willing to help him in anyway you can.

Maybe if he knew that there was a chance for the two of you and you dropped the pressure surrounding him, things would change.

Do you think that by having a family and spending 13 years together, that it might be worth it? If you don't, then why bother at all?

I'm not a professional, and it this is truly important to you, then you might want to seek professional help

Jeff

Return on his investment????????????Quite cras!!!!!!! I'd ditch him. He signed up for something entirely different from what you signed up for!

Vonda G. Nelson

I'm curious, His investment? What about yours? Marriage is a two way street! Give and take on both parts. Honey, your the cook. Start fixing him more raw salads with his foods. Serve it to him before the cooked is finished. Tell him to eat this before the rest of it is finished. Make sure there is lots of salad on the plate. He'll get full on the raw salad, eat less cooked, be nourished from live food, and loose weight. Not to mention his attitude will change drastically. Needless to say," Your love life will change and for the better. Don't ask him if he wants salad, just give it to him. He'll thank you latter.

I'm not sure about what return on his investment he expects? Certainly, it is not unreasonable of you to expect him to try and remain sexually attractive - he may be suffering from depression or lack of self esteem which is de-motivating him- in which case, he needs to see his doctor.. it could be his hormones are outta whack, too.

If it's just laziness, though, maybe a little hint of competition for your affection might get him moving in the right direction?

Listen, it is up to you to be with the person you want! No one can make you stay with them for any reason! Your husband is the shallow one. He is obviously unconcerned with, what makes you happy. You have the right to be attracted to your mate, and if he thinks it's sexy to be fat, sickly and out-of-shape, then let him go find a woman that, will accept this, I don't think she'll be like you. He needs to understand, that it is not your responsibility to hang around, while he slowly kills himself. Of course he can't satisfy you sexually, because you are physically turned off, and his physical condition, contributes to sexual dysfunction! Soon, if not sooner, you will reach the point of no return, where you will be mentally turned off, and the relationship will be over!

You need to be brutally honest, and tell him the truth, that you refuse to be with someone who has no pride in his health first, and then his appearance. This is a poor example for your children to observe, and he will only become more of a burden, as he gets bigger, and bigger, and sicker, and sicker.

Sex with him, that will be the last thing on your mind, he doesn't realize, that healthy people are repulsed by the unfit, and worse, the obese!

Have your husband contact me, I'm a fifty year old, natural health consultant, if I can be healthy and fit at my age, then he has no excuse. Give him an ultimatum, good health, and good marriage, or bad health, and an end to your marriage. Remember, love is not unconditional, if both partners, agree, and get along in most aspects, then there can be a continuation of the relationship. If one decides to become, an alcoholic, a drug addict, someone who let's their health go, by living improperly, then why should you be with them?

Read my hubpage, fountainyouth, there is an article about his problem there. Go to my website, where I sell a highly effective male enhancement supplement, www.x-rawpower.com This will help greatly, but he's got to get himself together, for the relationship, and the family, if he really cares!

Darius Wright, pres. Fountain of Youth, fitness and health, LLC

fountainyouth@aol.com

Your situation is a sad one, but not unlike many other couples. We just had our 40th high school reunion and the men looked much older than the women - perhaps it is the way we treat them. You should think really hard why you married him in the first place. Obviously your love was not unconditional. Are you without faults of your own? I suppose if you want to throw in the towel, it is better now than later. For the children involved, how will this affect them. Will they too be superficial when they look for a partner to marry, or think that marriage is important at all? Looks fade with age for the majority of us, but love can last much longer.

From this response it seems there might be possibly more to talk about than just obesity. Just as a simple example if you take out the nouns from this posting you have three major themes that would be helpful to discuss/process as a couple.

1. Sex Life

2. Steps to change

3. ROI (Return on Investment)

I don't know the situation's details, but I would imagine that these three topics all have a connection with the root of the problem.