To what extent do you believe one person should maintain the bulk of control in a relationship and who do you believe should maintain that control? Should gender play a role? Personality?

I think a healthy relationship is when both partners in a relationship feel equally important in the relationships.

If you're talking about control of a specific area of the relationship, the two partners should discuss the reasons they feel they or the other person should control in this area.

There are many relationships for example where one of the partners balances the checkbook. If one spouse lacks the discipline or the knack of performing a certain function for the good of the relationship then there should be no problem of that spouse to acquiesce to the other partner.

However, I don't know too many happy relationships where one person holds the ropes of control to all facets of the relationship. This practice breeds resentment and believe it or not, control is included under most states' definition of domestic abuse. Of course this depends on the extent of the control but most people would agree that when control reaches a point where one partner feels insignificant and their opinion ignored, divorce court isn't far away.

If you're controlling by nature, you'll need to learn the Golden Rule....if the wife isn't happy...nobody's happy!

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