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How do I stop repeating myself in an argument and being naggy to my significant other?
I'm 21 and my boyfriend of a year and a half is 26. Everytime we get in an argument I guess I repeat myself and start nagging him about the same thing over and over. I try conflict resolution but he gets aggravated very quickly so I don't know if I should even bother him with half of what I'm probably over reacting about in my head anyways. I just want to get along with my boyfriend and make him happy, but I feel like all I do is annoy him or nag at him or argue with him. I really and truely try not to though... any advice would be of great help! Thank you.
asked by Court520 3 months ago
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81How to Stop Arguments in a Relationship
To stop repeating yourself in an argument to stop turmoil in a relationship. You must learn to forget past arguments. Women has the propensity to remember details of events years back and will bring up these... keep reading →
stricktlydating says
Say what you need to say, listen to his response, then leave the room for a little while. Just duck into the bathroom for a few minutes if you need to, to pull your thoughts together. You'll soon get a different response from him during your arguments when you do this. Best wishes.
Lady_E says
Simple. Be quiet.
(I mean that in a nice way). If you don't say anything, he won't be provoked into responding and then you don't have to answer his response... etc. etc.
spradlig says
Not that I'm great at this but I find that when I'm in this situation it is usually the result of too much talking and not enough listening.
Time to take a few breaths, listen to his response, consider it for a moment, and ask a question rather than give a rebuttal. The question has to come from a place of empathy and compassion.
I'm not very good at it myself but my wife is. I find that the correct question rapidly dissipates most of my anger. It also helps me see her point more clearly since I'm no longer blinded by my own desire/need to be right.
The point here isn't to embarrass someone but rather to get them thinking rather than reacting. The wrong tone of voice and we all end up in a fighting mood even over minor nonsense.
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