What advice would you give a 13 year old step daughter who does not want to go to school?

Well maybe try to find some examples of people who didn't finish high school and what happened to them. Show her the statistics on what people make money wise when they don't finish high school, when they finish high school but don't go to college and when they do go to college. You could even use me as an example. I finished high school joined the military and had two babies. Got out of the military cause we can't afford day care so I solely rely on my husband. If he by chance left me, there would be no way to support my children and it would be unlikely that I would be able to keep them. It is very important for her to stay in school.

Try and get her a copy of a book titled "The Catcher in the Rye", I am forgetting the author's name. Give her the book and tell her that if she does not want to go to school she does not have to but that she must read the book first and let you know what she thought of it. I think it may work.

She needs guidance and someone she can trust that she can talk to. It is hard to give an opinion in such a case not knowing the person I am speaking of. Maybe she can paint or sing; play an instrument or a sport instead of going to school for a year ... and have a strict schedule involving some sort of "work" or apprenticeship, keeping in mind the fact that she is rather young at the same time. I wish you and her all the best. Cheers!

Try to find the reason why she refuses to go to school. It may have nothing to do with learning. Some one might be making her life very miserable at school. It may be a teacher but most probably a student or a gang. She may not want to tell you because she fears reprisal from this person or these persons.

Africa has given the world some great scholars, Africa has just as many great men and women as any other continent. With the kind of caring you are showing your child, I cannot believe your origins have anything to do wih your difficulty to coach her.

Don't give up! You will both win something here.

I think your stepdaughter is not one of your race. Am I right? If that is the case. the more you should endeavor to move heaven and earth to sow in her the value of education. Listen to all the suggestions given here by our fellow hubbers; they are useful. However- if you have tried them to no avail, then here's my suggestion. Scout who her best friend is and capitalize him/her to talk her into going to school. I mean use tack and all your convincing power to let her friend convince her (your stepdaughter) to embrace school life. I need your reaction to this, mr asp.

I am 13 and my guess is that she doesnt wanna go because there are some problems at school so maybe you could talk to the teacher I know I will apprciate it

lets be honest like i always am i never liked school it sucked soo bad but you have to tell your kids its apart of life you have to go to school its no a choice its a thing u have to do everyone does it enjoy it while you can you will acutally learn alot and build alot of friendship school also helps your socialize with people. Just enjoy being young and school is apart of that find something that she might enjoy a little bit and try to incorporate with school and how it can be fun.

Thank you all for your wonderful advice.The real problem is the child.She has just been moved to a new school so i don't think there are threats there already.It's just about two weeks into the first term.I think the problem is in her upbringing cos her parents don't really care about education.At times she says she is not in school cos i am not in school myself.I am studying their language in an adult school.I am a university graduate but they don't seem to understand what it means.

I am having the same problems with my now 18 year old daughter. We've been going through this since age 12 and we have tried every approach to no avail. We have switched schools and the school she attends now (or doesn't attend should I say?) bends over backwards to get her motivated. Maybe your wife's daughter could talk to a school counselor? In grade school and junior high school, this is what kept my daughter there. The high school counselors here don't have a clue, though, so it's hard. Maybe home schooling? Is she is depressed or anxious? Have her tested for bipolar. My daughter was diagnosed last year and that explained so much. Showing her hard times on the streets never fazed my daughter and J.D. Salinger wrote "Catcher in the Rye", but reading that didn't help Chapman (he took the life of John Lennon)! I wish you well in your battles and remember that she is a child. She is blessed that you care about her so much.

Take her down to "ho row" in your town or city. Tell the little snot that is how she will end up if she doesn't straighten up.

BTW, she doesn't really have to go to college (or even high school) to be a success in life. But she WILL have to learn essential skills from somewhere. She will have to learn how to read, and write good, standard English. She will have to learn to add, subtract, multiply. She will have to learn some history, specifically about how empires (such as Rome, the British, and the U.S.) rise and fall.

Unless you and/or your wife are intelligent and educated yourself, so that you can home-school her, she needs to go to school, sucky as they may be.

You've got a big problem; these little pubescent twits all think they are so "all that".