Does your spouse have the right to look through your email or is that private?

For me- I don't think of this as a "rights" issue.

I think of it more as a respect issue. If you start reading your spouses email, you may have to ask yourself the question, "why"? Is there a problem going on? Is there a trust issue? From both sides I would question why one would want to read emails, and why the other would want to hide them.

But regardless, it is good if we respect our spouses and allow them privacy. Just because we are married, i don't think we have to give up a sense of privacy. Being honest and open about it would probably diffuse the issue.

Just make sure that a little privacy is all that is desired...and not something else. So far this has worked for my husband and I (20 years and counting). I have no desire to read his emails- I don't even have enough time to read my own :)

I don't believe a spouse "has the right" to look through your e.mail. If one spouse wants to "grant permission" that's different.

Just because people are married it doesn't mean they should not have something like an e.mail account that is "just theirs". If someone chooses to grant a spouse access to their e.mail account, that's his own business. I don't believe any spouse should take it upon him/herself to access the other's mail without permission.

My spouse is welcome to look through anything of mine that he likes. He's my best friend and the only "private" things I have are when I want to surprise him, which is quite often, not just holidays. But, intimacy for me, means Into-Me-See. If I'm not open for him to see deeply and openly into me, then what level of intimacy can we ever really hope to attain? While I'm all for a bit of mystery to keep things sexy, the mystery comes in what surprise I may be planning next :)

I don't believe a spouse should look through your emails, unless you have a joint email account. It's your private business and if it's set up that way, it needs to stay private. I'm a firm believer in keeping separate checking accounts, credit cards, etc. Though it's a good idea to make your spouse an authorized user on select accounts (in case of emergency.) But only one name be on the account. So NO, I don't think a spouse has a right to snoop, but if the other spouse doesn't care one way or another, give em the dang password and go on.

I think you're spouse has the right to look. The question is why they'd want to. I think for most people it comes down to feeling excluded from something, some aspect of your life. Or for some reason they feel you are going out of your way to hide something from them.

The best thing to do is sit down and talk about it. Ask what she's feeling, why she looks at your email. Let her know how you feel about it. And are you being reasonable? Is your email full of things you don't want her to see, and if so why?

But you both need to be on the same page. It's appropriate to set boundaries in a relationship and if one of yours is email, than so be it. But sit down and discuss it and explain why. It may help set her mind at ease.

No, people need to have space that is for themselves alone, even in relationships. There is something wrong with the relationships if people can not sometimes have private times. I have learned this the hard way, early on I did not see the clear boundaries which existed. This varies from relationship to relationship. There are no hard and fast rules for this type of thing. some people are much more open than others, and others are more closed. If you feel you don't want your spouse to go through your email or private things, then you have the right to say "NO! you can't invade my privacy like this".

I think a spouse does but ONLY as a last resort. For example, if you believe your spouse is cheating on you and you have legit reasons to believe so (not he was late for five minutes so OBVIOUSLY hes doing his secretary lol) and you've discussed it with him only to be dismissed; then go for it. Under normal circumstances though, absolutely not!

Yes, your spouse should be able to look at your emails without feeling worried, and your emails shouldn't have anything which would be of a concern to them. If you were strictly dating though, it would be rude and an invasion of privacy (it's too early in the relationship).

sure he's my best friend, my husband, my boyfriend my everything..

my husband is not the type to look into everything i do he never even opened my email but he's welcome too and i show him often emails and stuff. but you have the type of person that likes to know and see everything if my husband would be like that then i think i'd like some privacy but because there's no pressure we're very comfortable too being totaly open!

besides a man has too feel that he 's the boss he knows what's going on that's one of the tricks for a healthy marriage

If you're serious enough for marriage, then you should be mature and trustworthy enough to eliminate all 'privacy' from the relationship. This is a matter that may be touchy for some, but couples should openly discuss any issues they have with sharing account passwords and the like. Honestly I can't think of anything that should be kept private in a marriage, unless it's a birthday or anniversary surprise! While everyone is entitled to keeping some aspects of life private and personal, resistance to openly sharing private matters just indicates there is something to hide, which only creates more problems (been through that, it's not fun!) Likewise, wanting access to something like your spouse's email does not necessarily mean you distrust him/her - sometimes people just need to make sure that everything is going as smoothly as they perceive, and the fact that you relinquished your privacy is reassurance enough. This is definitely the case for those whose trust had shattered in the past.

Depends......if they are just being nosy...NO! but if they have reason to believe that you are up to no good due to your behavior or lack of attention to them, inconsistency--- YES. How else would they find out what's really up! Then you can't be mad if they leave you hanging.

Vonda G. Nelson