Top 10 Funniest Things You've Heard or Seen While Bartending

I wasn't a bartender but as a floor host in several stip clubs I have heard a lot:

A girl on stage asked me what time it was, I replied " a quarter after nine" and she then said " twenty five past nine? I quipped " no a quarter after nine" and she said " yeah, twenty five after, when can I get down?, I told her " at a nickel to ten"

A guy who was famous for only showing up for happy hour specials came to me complaining that his group of four had ordered two plates of crawfish before another table of two had ordered theirs but the waitress only brought out one plate to each table and then said they were all out. I explained to him that when they ran out of crawfish that the special was over, special meaning free. He looked dejected and asked if I was going to do anything and I asked what am I supposed to do, go catch crawfish? He then said that he felt their should be come sort of compensation. I asked how do I compensate him for something that he didn't didn't get and didn't have to pay for even if he did?

A guy came up to me near the beginning of a shift and asked if a certain girl was in that night. I told him they trickle in over the next hour or two and there is no way of knowing who was there for a little while. About a half hour later the guy comes up to me and asks for the girl again. I explained that all of the girls aren't in yet and I wouldn't know until they dressed and signed in. About fifteen minutes later he comes to me again and asks for the girl. Once again I told him I have to wait for the sign in sheet. He looked at me irritated and said " how come everytime I ask one of you guys about the girl you give me a different answer" I said because you keep asking me the same question you idiot, I am the only one here.

This is a great idea. I did hear and see alot of funny things while bartending. I have not had alot of time to write a hub. I should have some time in the next few days to get going. Thanks for the great idea!