Providing For Your Family: The Day A Husband Healed An Angry Wife

provide
provide | Source

The Man Is The Provider, The Head Of The Household


Growing up, I was taught certain societal norms or beliefs. One of these was that a man in a marriage is the provider: he works and pays the bills and takes care of his family's needs. In taxes he was always marked the HEAD-OF THE HOUSEHOLD, the main wage-earner. Well, as my mother got divorced and remarried the idea changed a little. She had become financially independent during her singleness. When she remarried the idea became more like this: the man and woman share equal financial responsibility in the household. So when I got married I had both of these ideas planted firmly in my head. In my first marriage finances only became an issue as a result of my husband's drug addiction which led to him losing his job, throwing away his retirement on drugs and eventually prison. That's how I become the sole provider in our household for the first time: my first divorce and his debts etc. and it continued through single motherhood. I never expected to be the sole provider in my first, second or third marriage, but it happenned. It happened again, and again. I figure with the economy there are many family's in our nation who are now struggling through the same thing. Having to raise a family of 4-5 people or more with one income. It's a very hard thing to do and puts a great amount of stress and hardship on marriage or relationships in general. In my case I have been blessed to be ok so far, but the expectation that my current husband needs to make a greater effort and become an equal, if not the full provider, is still there. This is a daily expectation: it has become a daily frustration and a source of anger. In many cases a person seeks employment but cannot find it. This is ok, because you see an effort but no result through no fault of their own. In other cases a person simply doesn't want employment because it isn't what they want to do for a job. This second scenario is what I want to focus on. I feel that some men don't make a true effort to do their part. And their part is to provide. I feel they are selfish. They are searching for their own happiness and comfort, and not what's best for their family. They are comfortable having someone else do the work, the sacrifce. They are too good to do what ever they have to do to provide. I have known other men who have taken 2-3 jobs to be provider, to allow their wives to stay home and raise the kids. I have also known man who simply choose not to work. I know others that have work, but are either not doing the job right, not working enough, or it simply isn't enough to provide and they just refuse to try anything else or seek something better. They are under the illusion that it is good enough as long as they have $20 in their pockets on a daily basis. Reality check for those men: that is NOT GOOD ENOUGH to be a provider for your family and have your wive's respect or even self-respect.

My man is one of those who works and is happy having $20 in his pocket on a daily basis. He works, but somehow the money never makes it home for bills or mortgage. It all goes back to him, and it has been this way for many, many years. He never has enough to help or pay his own personal bills. No health insurance, no dental linsurance, and he isn't getting younger.

I know we are not the only couple and not the only family going through this... that is why I am writing this blog.


It Hit The Fan, I Reached My limit And I Was Angry


After so many years of waiting for this man to get it together and start bringing home some money I had finally had enough, It hit the fan, I reached my limit, and I was angry. One more hour, one more second, one more day became too much. I could not wait any longer. I wanted it it fixed RIGHT now, desperately!!!

Did I say I was angry YES! ABSOLUTELY ANGRY. So angry I stopped talking to him. Every time we talked I would just blow up, about everything. A few months before this, my man had a chance to apply for a job for which he seemed qualified. He passed the first interview and the second. He had an appointment for a third interview and they called him-in for an early training. He chose not to go to the training or the third interview. The job promised really good money and the hours were 10am-10pm. His excuse for not taking the job: the hours were long and he wouldn't be able to spend as much time with our son as he wanted too.

I accepted that. However, I expected him to keep looking for something else, but what I saw was a man who wasn't even TRYING. A man who would rather watch movies for 2-4 hours/day rather than look for work. A person so unmotivated to do better that he wouldn't even make the time to look at the jobs I would find for him. His two daughters stayed with us for a month in the summer. We went to Disneyland--90% paid by me. He promised, once they left, he would get a job and do better. However, they left, and he wasn't keeping his promise.

That's when it hit the fan! and I was angry! I was horrribly angry all the time.

I had NO RESPECT for my man--he needed to be provider. I didn't want to pay for my own movie or my own dinner, or the babysititing for our date. I already pay for everything else. I needed him to do it.


anger and frustration
anger and frustration | Source

How He Healed His Angry Wife:Something Simple, Something Small

For a long time I had wanted to buy a pair of earrings and some little things for my hair. Nothing expensive by any means, but I had just finished paying out the back-to-school expenses for my kids so I kept putting it off. I got paid and told my husband I wanted to go to the mall. He asked me why and I told him about the earrings. It was one of those days when he had a little money in his pocket. He knew I had alot of expenses that month and offered to pay for my earrings. Then we went to the accessory store and he offered to pay for my hair clips. We only had our son with us and he took him to the chocolate store so I had peace and quiet to look around and actually enjoy my shopping. I went to a couple of other stores and looked around. It was nice to have time to myself.

It was nice to feel pampered...taken care-off, provided-for.The anger left, my monster was calm. In one simple moment I was healed.

How easy that was...how simple...how wonderful...

Sadly the feeling was temporary--lasting about a week. Only in resolving the real issue of providing can the healing become permanent.

something  simple, something small.  Nope  not even real diamonds
something simple, something small. Nope not even real diamonds | Source

Making Good Money Without a College Degree and The Delusion


My husband doesn't have a college degree but wanted something that paid good. Here's a news flash for everyone out there that wants to make really good money without a college degree. The reality is...sometimes it's hard to make good money even with a college degree. Reality check: yes it is possible to do it, but it can only happen by working long hours, working two jobs, working physically-demanding jobs or having a skill in demand. The point is... it is work... it takes work and sacrifice to make money. It takes action, actively looking and seeking opportunity. That means it takes time and effort. Finding a good job is work. It doesn't happen by wishful thinking alone. It's usually not convenient or easy, but it can be done. It can happen. When it does... be grateful. Do not let fear of change overpower you and throw it away like my husband did. Do not be selfish, ego-centric: you need to provide.


I Expect The Man To Do What He Needs To do. Drop The Pride and Provide

When I went to college I worked part time, In the summer I worked full time, I took what honest job would pay the bills. Always keeping in mind that it was temporary. I would be actively seeking something better while I worked there. I was doing that job to pay the bills on my own, not depending on anybody else. I never took a penny from my poor, hard working mother and I was proud of it. Always Knowing that it was temporary, and honest work until I found better. At 16 years old I started out as a dishwasher,when I moved to another city, I needed something fast so I worked at dairy queen. I once delivered pizzas to pay for my books and not charge them on credit. I was proud to provide for myself and this is what I expect of other people. I expect them to do what they have to do--be it men or women. No excuses. No pride.

However if you are a man, have a family, and your wife is doing what she can: I expect the man to do what he needs to do. Drop the pride and begin to provide.

Families need financial security and some sort of steady income and it is your job to man-up and fix it.

constant financial stress=divorce
constant financial stress=divorce | Source

The Job Delusion and Divorce

Many men or women are under the DELUSION that they have a job and there's nothing wrong with it. Except for the fact that one person is still the only provider for their whole family and is probably stuggling emotionally, financially and mentally. If you are not bringing home money to help provide for your family on a steady basis-- then you are under a delusion that what you are doing is good enough. You must let go and push yourself to want better.

Constant financial stress inevitably leads to anger, frustration and eventually divorce.

When my husband and I first got married we accrued debt: the wedding expenses, the rings, etc. As we blended we added two bedrooms to a house in my name to accommodate both of our families moving-in together(4 kids and two grownups total). My new husband and kids left their home and moved-in to the bigger one with me and my kids. Somehow I ended up paying the bills, the mortgage and everything else--as if he had never moved in. In addition, I was suddenly feeding and sheltering him and his. I would work and work and never had a penny left to me, or my kids. This was hugely stressful. As a newly-blended family we had other issues(many) but the financial problem was a big one--so we divorced within six months of marriage. I divorced this man hoping that filing the paper- work would snap him into changing, but it didn't, the delusion that he had a job and it was good enough remained, the problems persisted and we were divorced.

Comments 26 comments

Arlene V. Poma 5 years ago

Voted up, useful, interesting and AWESOME. I divorced my first husband because he did a switcheroo on me. At first, he worked hard, but I always made more money. When he found out I had workaholic tendencies and got promoted through my hard work, he found it easier to get fired and sit on his butt at home. The apple does not fall from the tree, here. His stepfather did the same thing to my ex's mother. This scene was so familiar, and my ex was repeating it with me. Arguments over money hide plenty of other things wrong with the marriage, and you have to be on the same page about finances or the marriage will fail. I dumped him and didn't look back.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

Money is also an issue and I really could relate to this. I have had some type of job since I was in 6th grade... that being said, I have always been very money conscious. When my husband and I got married, I was still a firm believer that I could take care of myself. It has only been recently, that I have allowed him to provide for us financially while I stay home and take care of the kids. Now, that being said, I write online as a means to earn extra income and I am also a disabled vet... so while I don't make much... I do make a little of my own income. However, it has been a struggle for me to actually let him provide for me. I guess sometimes it can be difficult to be independent!


crazymom3 profile image

crazymom3 4 years ago Author

It can be difficult to be independent but it is also difficult to do it alone.


bensprinks 4 years ago

I supported my wife and 5 daughters with my single income for 30 years. Your coment about "not good enough" caught my attention. Who appointed you as the one who decides when what your husband provides is "good enough"? I was under the "misguided" notion that as one unit we work together to attain mutual goals. Not. It has made no difference in the contentment of my wife wether I made %95,000/yr or $50,000/yr. She has been miserable through it all. I am now drained to the point that don't see any reason to continue trying. If being the "head of household" means bringing home the bacon, what does it mean to be the "body of household". You can't be the head and the body at the same time. It takes both people in a relationship to do what they can to improve the family. One of them watching the other to see if they are "good enough" is extreemly distructive. (assuming no blatant abuse)


crazymom3 profile image

crazymom3 4 years ago Author

I read your comment my "not good enough" refers exactly to what you are talking about...when one person(be it man or woman) leaves the other to struggle alone, carrying the full weight without making even the slightest effort to change their financial ability to be able to help and make it that partnership you are referring to. For a woman to carry a full financial weight and be a mother to 3-5 kids is quiet the strain.By not good enough i dont mean having a lavish materialistic lifestyle. I mean barely making ends meet. I absolutely agree with you.It is when that balance isn't present that it is absolutely disruptive to a relationship. One person should not be coasting along while the other pulls all the weight.


charity 3 years ago

This lady was appeased because he bought her a little measley pair of earrings and a hair clip? That's all it took after you have been assuming the role of husband and provider, for many years? Seriously? I was interested in the article until I read that. You lost all credibility then.


crazymom3 profile image

crazymom3 3 years ago Author

note:the comment that it was a temporary appeasement only easing the anger she was feeling at that moment and not a permanent fix. The point is women want to feel taking care of.


cogirl13 2 years ago

Wow how I can relate..... we are not even married but have been together almost 6 years. I am so mentally draine, always have been the one with the job, bringing in the money, buying clothes for our daughter, ect. He has felonys so it has been hard for him to find a job, but he always has excuses and when he has had jobs.... I never see the money and none of are bills get paid. I the once independent one with the job, good credit, and paid all my bills on time... let go of my job because he wanted me to stay hone with are daughter, my car got reposessed from no payments being made, and my credit is now destroyed because i put phone,cablw in my name and he promised to pay the bills and never did/does. Now vulnerable left with nothing, ive never been in a spot like this before being with a man. Its such a disappointment, and im disappointed that he would do this to me.


Rayzzz 2 years ago

aw man. I am the husband of 13 years who "man-babyed" his life...i quit jobs I was good at because i didn't want to to them anymore (while having a new baby) and no back up job. I have worked part time looking after homschooling my kids so my wife could take her promotion and make really good money as a senior manager. ...i thought she wanted this. she took it because I was being lazy. For some stupid tragic reason I didn't hear that she needed me to provide and cherish her...i thought we were "partners" we would both work 50/50...but a man has to husband and lead. She really wanted to stay home with the kids

Fast forward a year.

We are separating next month and I am getting counselling and just begging her to let me be the man and husband she wants and needs. I have in 3 months really doubled my wage ( i am self employed) and have taken huge monety management helps and steps. But she said she is done....though a month ago she did say "if i see you change from afar we may have hope for this marriage".

question:

I really and honestly am changing for me becaause i am ashammed of how bad I treated and didn't provide for her. If I throw my weight into this (of course for myself...cause it feels good to be responsible) is there a chance she will see the new me and think about giving me a second chance? I love her more than anything and I am wrecked that she will (at least now) not let me rectify and repent of this...thanks


crazymom3 2 years ago

Wow, I feel for your current situation unfortunately sometimes it takes just that kind off wake-up call to really see things for what they are. In my experience if she says "if I see you change from afar" she still holds a little hope that you are truly wanting to change and not just giving her lip service long enough to crawl back into bed then continue the same old game. Respect her wishes and show her by your works and actions. That is in my opinion the only hope you have. Do what the counselor says don't just go to look like you are. Best of luck. Love and children are worth fighting for. Prayers 4 your family.


brokehusband 2 years ago

Everything this article says is true.

I left my job in October 2013 due to my involvement in a very unfortunate incident and I have been unable to find work since. Apart from the incident, I'll admit that I was unhappy at the job and felt I deserved a better job since I have a college degree and was working in a menial job. My wife of 5 years was supportive in my decision to resign and seemed to genuinely want me to find work that made me happy and gave her blessing. A this time we had a 2 year old daughter.

What a mistake.

Upon finding out that she was pregnant with another baby in March 2014, my wife's attitude began to change and her mannerisms and speaking tone has become increasingly scornful and contemptuous towards me. When I called her out on it, she got really hostile and said that I'm not a man and that I should go home and live with my parents so they can take care of me because that's what I want. She said she needs a real man. I feel like she has suddenly withdrawn her love and has lost all respect for me and it is soul crushing. I am doing everything I can now to find a job and I hope it's not too late. My wife has every right to be upset since I know I could have worked harder to find a job in the past 10 months and it's easy to see how she could feel taken for granted.

It kills me to know that my wife has lost respect for me as a man and that I've disappointed her. She can't speak to me without sniffing, clearing her throat and rubbing her eyes as though I literally make her sick. She is a beautiful woman, much more than I deserve and we both know it. She's the kind of women that every man wants and every woman wants to be. I am freakishly short (5'3"), unattractive and contemptible little shit (apparently) that doesn't easily gain people's respect and friendship. I want her and love her desperately and I recognize that she has given me all of the good things that I have in life. If she left me, I would be heartbroken and ruined.

We have a 3 year old daughter and another baby due in December. I am so scared that either a) my wife will never love and respect me again or worse b) leave me for a man that could provide better for her and my two kids. I am doing absolutely everything I can to find any job at this point and I am willing to forgo all my leisure time in the future to take on extra jobs and provide my family with the best life I possible can. I only hope my wife can love and respect me again the way she once did.

PROVIDE FOR YOUR WOMEN AND DO NOT THIS HAPPEN TO YOU GUYS!


crazymom3 profile image

crazymom3 2 years ago Author

I sure hope you find that job. Do small nice things everyday and once you find that job make sure you keep it. Best wishes.


Lisa 2 years ago

I need help with a similar situation. It's the " not enough" part that rings true for me. Mine is a public school teacher who makes the baseline salary and does not want to get a masters or board certified or try for a higher salary. His check does not pay the bills. In addition, I trusted him to manage the money after our kids were born (he wanted to be the money manager) and one day I found out we were tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt. We also are having to pay the IRS monthly because he wasn't making the quarterly payments like he was supposed to. I have a very good health professional degree but I went into my field because it was the type of field I could work very part time and get paid well and still be mostly a stay at home mom. Fast forward to now, we have two beautiful kids, 7 and 9 years old and I am working overtime to pay bills and debt. FYI, I am not a big spender and have never demanded a luxurious lifestyle. At one point I was not even buying new underware because I was afraid of more debt!

This is why I appreciate your article so much! I feel no love or respect for him and tons of resentment for the work I am having to do. However, he appears to be a "good husband" because he gets up and goes to work every day.. Well at least during the school year. He doesn't want to downsize our house and if I quit we will most certainly go into immediate debt. ( I saved $10,000 up before my first child was born and that was gone in a matter of months). I know I would leave him if it weren't for the kids. I am also in good shoe and have lost my baby weight. He gets his physical needs met as well because I'm trying to do the right thing and be the good Christian wife. I feel like he has all he needs and he is just another child. What should I do? I am exhausted and depressed!


crazymom3 profile image

crazymom3 2 years ago Author

Wow!! I sure understand. Have you told him all of this? It is amazing how desperate you become like saving on underwear. For me I did without haircuts, nails etc. Financial problems are very stressful but they can be solved . Is he willing to get a part time weekend job or night job?? I would recommend some sort of support group for you just to vent or meeting with a financial counselor. Marriage counselor or all of the above. Best wishes keep trying till you can no longer bear it, your kids are worth trying to stay married.


crazymom3 profile image

crazymom3 22 months ago Author

Wow. I think your comment was mistakenly placed on my article about marriage and financial problems.


Pretty 22 months ago

Thank God, I dodged a bullet.I was involved with a guy, I thought was the love of my life. Ten months into our relationship, the guy lost his job.He was still living with his parents when we met. We're both in our mid 30's. Now here's how I noticed the red flag.

After losing his job,he remainded living with his parents as I lived and work in another town.. I'm sure he was looking for a job, but he was not willing to venture outside his comfort zone.The guy has got a diploma and needed only 18 months of studying to obtain his degree.He was not really interested in doing that..Did not even attempt to do any kind other than his IT job..I ended up losing respect in him,cos I felt that he wouldn't be able to look after me and our children one day.

I am a very hardworking lady and will be going into full time education , starting in September. He was just happy with the little he was earning and was never a risk taker.. He spent another 10months without a job and the parents were supporting him for that 10monthshe unemployed..I mean, really, if it was me, I would have gone and get any type of job even if it's cleaning toilets just to earn my own pennies.He later on broke up with me, stating that I was a strong girl and deserved someone strong too. I really liked the guy, but still think we were not on the same page.

Thank you for your article.It is an eye opener.


crazymom3 22 months ago

I am glad you liked it and thank you for your for sharing your experience. It will be helpful to thers. I think what you said about being on the same page, that's really

What it comes down to, that's what's important.


crazymom3 22 months ago

It's supposed to say helpful to others.

This is frustrating. I am using my phone and noticed all the misspellings but hubpages wouldn't bring up the edit your answer button like it used to. When dud it change?


crazymom3 22 months ago

The truth is when you are in love it is easy not to see red flags, and the little things they do, make us feel better for a little while until the honeymoon stage is over then reality usually hits. Anyway I do have to say people can and once in a while do change but it is often a long hard road during their change.


Nelson101 22 months ago

I'm so happy I read this. I am currently contemplating a divorce for the exact same reasons. I don't have any kids and but I am afraid to go through with a divorce in case it's the wrong choice. After 7 years of the same employment struggles and excuses I can still be tricked into believing he will change. It's obviously not going to happen. I have never been so confused and upset in my life. I can't even have a conversation with him because I resent him so much. I can't believe I would make such a bad choice to marry a man like this when the red flags were there when we were dating. I was raised with the same beliefs as you; that a good man will do whatever it takes to provide. My husband is a journeyman plumber but chooses to work minimum wage at a liquor store. He has the power to erase all my stress and resentment but he won't get a better job. He is fine with using credit to pay for what his pay cheques don't cover. I am literally so frustrated this is the last straw. I can't even speak to him anymore. Thanks for this article.


crazymom3 22 months ago

I am so sorry to hear that. It is frustrating and to stay married or divorce us a very hard decision as well. If there us love left, its worth working on it, if there isn't you won't be able to survive it. Is there anything you can do to alleviate the financial stress?


Jason 21 months ago

I have the opposite situation. First I'm male. I've worked two jobs for over 7 years then dropped to one but work a 48 hour week as a nurse. My girlfriend and I have been together for 13-14 years. In that time she has maybe worked 9-12 months. At first it was to be home with our boys. I was told just until they went to school. Now one is 12 the other 13...and she still has no desire to work. If it's brought up it starts a fight in which she feels if she gets louder then me she wins. Odd thing is as the sole bread winner that has put us in a 3 bedroom 2 bath new build home, bought and paid for cars, paid bills down so that we aren't living week to week....yet I feel like I get zero respect for anything I do or have done. Our relationship is more as roommates then a couple. We do not share a bed (she sleeps on a couch has for at least 5 years) and we don't feel close. She will tell me she loves me. Has no problem texting me while I'm at work that she loves me or misses me, but when I'm home I feel like she is counting the hours until I go back to work. Towards my boys if they act up and I say something she immediately jumps in to stop me, no matter what it is. One of them could be running through the house screaming and if I said, "hey, you need to slow it down." She would chime in, "he not doing anything!" To the point now my own sons don't really listen to me. When I bring it up to her it's that I'm creating a problem that doesn't exist then she wants a log of every time I say she has uncut me and the dates and times. If I bring up anything I'm told im wrong. Why tell all this to a group of people I don't know, sometimes you just need to vent. So how do I fix this? I figure I will keep my head down and do my time until my youngest hits 18 then I'm going to just disappear. I will be roughly 50 then, maybe I won't be so old that I can find someone to spend the rest of my life with that actually wants to spend their time with me.


Jase25 21 months ago

This last comment was mine, figured I create an account. If I'm going to vent I guess I should at least be able to log in to do so. Also needed to fix some grammar and spelling errors, I'm sure there are more I missed. LOL!

I have the opposite situation. First I'm male. I've worked two jobs for over 7 years then dropped to one but work a 48 hour week as a nurse. My girlfriend and I have been together for 13-14 years. In that time she has maybe worked 9-12 months. At first it was to be home with our boys. I was told just until they went to school. Now one is 12 the other 13...and she still has no desire to work. If it's brought up it starts a fight in which she feels if she gets louder then me she wins. Odd thing is as the sole bread winner that has put us in a 3 bedroom 2 bath new build home, bought and paid for cars, paid bills down so that we aren't living week to week....yet I feel like I get zero respect for anything I do or have done. Our relationship is more as roommates then a couple. We do not share a bed (she sleeps on a couch has for at least 5 years) and we don't feel close. She will tell me she loves me. Has no problem texting me while I'm at work that she loves me or misses me, but when I'm home I feel like she is counting the hours until I go back to work. Towards my boys if they act up and I say something she immediately jumps in to stop me, no matter what it is. One of them could be running through the house screaming and if I said, "hey, you need to slow it down." She would chime in, "he's not doing anything!" To the point now my own sons don't really listen to me. When I bring it up to her it's that I'm creating a problem that doesn't exist then she wants a detailed log of every time I say she has under cut me and the dates and times. If I bring up anything then I'm told I'm just wrong. Why tell all this to a group of people I don't know, sometimes you just need to vent. So how do I fix this? I figure I will keep my head down and do my time until my youngest hits 18 then I'm going to just disappear. I will be roughly 50 then, maybe I won't be so old that I can find someone to spend the rest of my life with that actually wants to spend their time with me. If not the peace of mind will be worth it.

Take care,

Jase


crazymom3 profile image

crazymom3 21 months ago Author

Jase, you actually have the same situation except you are the male. Even though i wrote this from a woman's perspective it is the same. It is about how an inbalance in financial responsibility leads to one person carrying the heavier burden all the time until they are so tired they can't deal with it. I sm sorry about your situation, you sound very unhappy. You are making sacrifices for your children, i understand. Sometimes it is hard to know what is best when it comes to them, but often they can hear the arguments and feel the unhappiness in the home. 50 years old is nothing. Chin up, love is still possible. I am no couselor, but i would say serk out a therapist even if only to vent and help you ease the frustration. Blessings to you.


finallywokeup 20 months ago

Thank you so much for this article. I was embarrassed about my situation for so long that I tried covering it up. I've been with my husband for 15 yrs, married 9. I 've been the sole provider most of our relationship. I was so emotionally broken when I met him. My confidence and self esteem was at it's lowest due to my abnormal childhood. I felt he was my protector since he understood me. Last year I finally dealt with my issues and my self esteem is where it should be. He has raised my son since he was four, he has 3 kids from a previous relationship and we have 2 girls together. I'm ready to call it quits because he's not a provider, irresponsible, undependeble, addicted to marijuana and verbally abusive. We've somehow managed to raise great children but that's it. My girls would be devastated if we divorced but I'd be miserable if I stay. He's 42, I'm 38 and he hasn't had stable employment since 2007. I'm tired and don't see a light at the end of this tunnel.


crazymom3 19 months ago

I am sorry to hear this. It is so sad when children are involved. The older children can mostly likely understand, specially if they see or hear his verbal abuse. The four year old won't but all if them can be ok if you get them a therapist to help them deal with the situation. Im sorry drugs are such a problem. Some people think marijuana is no big deal but from the little i know the money spent to eat is money taken from the table and bills plus those moods swings are hard to live with. I do wish you well and strength to do what you think is best.

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