How to Stop Husband Flirting With Other Women

Stopping Husband's Flirting

You have women flirting with your husband. The real issue with regard to women flirting with your spouse is the issue of the flirting behavior of your spouse. You cannot control other women, and you cannot expect your husband to live in a bubble.

I have two recommendations for you. If you want to stop women flirting you need to ask your husband to give the ladies a clear message that he is married and that he cannot ruin his relationship with you. If he is flirting at work, there is not much that you can do, and usually those relationships at work are simply that, relationships at work. They usually don't go past that stage.

You could always spy on your husband at work if the concern is that great. You can have friends on the inside, you can hire a private detective, or you can just go observe your husband as he gets off work.

But if the flirting is at parties or at home, you can ask your husband if he would approve of your flirting with other men. Find out how serious he is about your marriage! You need to speak with him, and as the song says, be his only dream. You both have to try more romance.

Keep in mind that I am writing this as a husband who has been married 34 years. I am no doctor Phil. If these answers are not informaton you can work with I suggest you see a professional marriage counselor.

But I strongly recommend to you that you will not be happy if you try to retaliate by having a sexual liaison yourself. It will not be fulfilling, it will not give you satisfaction, and it will not give you the moral leverage to impress upon him the need for fidelity.

Men who are out of control sexually would be helped if they could confront the stress that is driving their behavior. Counselling makes sense in those situations.

Improve Your Appearance to Minimize the Damage of Flirting

Of course most women know that improving one's appearance can help a man stop flirting. While many women fight this notion, saying that the husband should love the inner woman, that does not always work for all men. So the result, as you can see, is a large desire on the part of many women to be fashionable, to wear jewelry, etc.You may even decide to consider more interesting intimate apparel!

While it can ruin a marriage to spend your way to glamor, and that truth should not be taken lightly, a moderate effort at improving one's looks can go a long way to make your relationship more interesting. I urge you to take the time to read the information.

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Comments 33 comments

Charmaine T 8 years ago

Thanks bgamall!

bgamall profile image

bgamall 8 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

I wonder how you think this fits your views Charmaine?

mcstir profile image

mcstir 7 years ago

Sometimes "flirting" creates a little jealousy, which in a way can spice up a relationship, if it has grown a little stagnant.

bgamall profile image

bgamall 7 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

True, but some women are more secure in their own lives than others.

nazishnasim 7 years ago

True True, women will flirt and move one whether they are jealous of the wives or want to feel better about themselves. It is the husband who should be 'put under the micro-scope and bashed if he responds to the bits and tits'.

bgamall profile image

bgamall 7 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

Lol, yes he should be bashed. I just am not sure what you mean by "bashed"!! :))

AntonyFranklyn profile image

AntonyFranklyn 6 years ago

Its really true that women never satisfy with single man.

darla glibbery 6 years ago

Well, what if a woman is just unattractive no matter what she does? What about disabled women? What about us women who just have "mannish" features? Should we just not get married? If a man is interested in us should we send him away saying "I'm just too unattractive for you to be with"? If making oneself more attractive will prevent one's husband from straying, then why even get married in the first place? What about being true to your spouse and honoring the VOWS you took? So you really think that it's okay to mess around just because some woman who is more attractive than your spouse?

bgamall profile image

bgamall 6 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

If a woman is unattractive, she may actually have some good features that she could enhance. All women can show a feminine side.

If a man has a lot of self resolve, and loves you for who you are, there should not be a problem. We are talking about men who do not have the resolve to be faithful, who are on the edge of not being faithful.

(Sigh) 6 years ago

What if you ARE an attractive woman and keep yourself looking sexy...and you get along wonderfully with your husband and do sexy things. And he still flirts? And you talk to him about it in a non-threatening way and you tell him your feelings...and how it hurts you. And he still flirts? And you get years of counseling....and he sees a psychiatrist. And he still flirts?

bgamall profile image

bgamall 6 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

Well, in that case, it all depends on the degree of flirting. If you think it is dangerous to your marriage and if you think he is cheating you can warn him of divorce. That is your right. But if you are the one he "goes home with" and if he is true to you I would not worry too much. This is my opinion, only. So, you can run these ideas past your counselor.

Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 6 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

Flirting in my opinion is a way for both parties to build self esteem. Flirting keeps the spice in life and both parties benefit. If people act on a flirt and pursue an affair then that is a problem and that shows lack of self esteem and lack of self control.

A life without flirting would be dull and boring. Loosen up and enjoy life.

bgamall profile image

bgamall 6 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

Ha, Neil, like I said, if it is under control then I don't see a problem with it. It can get out of control and depending on the individual, be quite damaging. So, all things in moderation, right?

Pollyanna 6 years ago

Flirting is healthy and normal. What isn't normal is marrying only one (one?!) person out of the millions walking this planet and making a lifelong promise to be with that person and no-one else forever and ever, and nobody else. It's infantile and rooted in the worst of human emotions: insecurity, loneliness, jealousy and possessiveness. Yes, we tell ourselves it's love, but true love comes from within and it allows us to put our petty emotions aside so that our lifelong partners can experiment with others and pursue other loves.

bgamall profile image

bgamall 6 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

Oh I don't know. Lonliness is something that affects people more as they grow older. And commitment is not a bad thing! Perhaps you are being a bit too "polyannish" about the single or swinger life.

Darla Glibbery 6 years ago

Enjoy your STD's Pollyanna. That's what messing around brings with it. People don't want to talk about the fact that one in every 5-yes 5 adults has incurable Genital Herpes! That's right, Genital Herpes is incurable, and those Herpes sores hurt! I don't want it! Not to mention HIV and Hepatitis- I don't want that either. THAT is why messing around is dangerous-there are more consequences than just a broken heart. Monogamy is the only HEALTHY way to live.

bgamall profile image

bgamall 6 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

That doesn't sound too pleasant Darla. Good advice.

sparklefish 5 years ago

My husband is always taking women's phone numbers and on his down time at work he texts them. I have told him that this is inappropriate in general and hutful to me. His response is that I shouldn't cage him. He is faithful to me, and is only passing time with them. I have seen some of the texts talking about them going out for drinks or him going to her appartment, but he has not done these things-it's only talk. His solution is to erase his text messages before he comes home, so I don't see them. He will not do counseling. He says he is happy with me and wants nothing from them other than time passing. I have cried, yelled, improved my appearance, reasoned with him about what he's doing. Nothing works. He admit's that he's wrong but refuses to stop it. What can I do?

bgamall profile image

bgamall 5 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

Wow, that seems over the top. It sounds like a fantasy, but you wonder if one would be receptive. How are you sure, other than through a private investigator, that this behavior hasn't resulted in cheating?

You could make sure he spends more time with you.

sparklefish 5 years ago

I'm sure he is faithful-so far. He works alot of hours, and yes, the money matches the hours. He does spend pretty much all of his off work time with me. I occasionally check his phone and call some of the numbers that seem suspisious. That's how I recently found out about Michelle. I haven't confronted him about it yet, but he knows something is wrong. I'm not leaving my marriage over it, because I believe he is only playing a game with them. But I can't live like this forever. I hate that I feel that I have to check up on him and can't completely trust him. He doesn't understand why I don't trust him...

bgamall profile image

bgamall 5 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

He is definitely living on the edge. Best wishes.

sad wife 5 years ago

My spouse is a great husband, but such a flirt! I hate it so much that it makes me physically ill. He tells me its just my insecurities & I should get over it because as long as he can see he will continue to flirt. I hate it so much that sometimes when it happens I think of ending my 20 year marriage. what's worse is we attend church & he has never tried to stop. as a christian you should try to stop . at least try...i am heartbroken over this & it's affecting our marriage. he says its all my fault, he's also a bully. he wasn't always like this? is this mid life crisis????? coming from a man's opinion how do i cope with this & pray he will change his hurtful ways to me. i am very attractive, volumptuos, & very sexual. but i cant compete with 20 year olds. help :(

bgamall profile image

bgamall 5 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

Mid life crisis. Perhaps talking to an expert would help both of you.

And tell him 20 years of marriage has too much of a track record just to give up and throw away.

Why not go out, just the two of you, and get out of patterns that are a waste of time, especially if your time is limited.

anouska 4 years ago

My husband believe I am irrational and that I hate him having contact with others. I am confused and don't know what's what anymore but I do know a lot of times he has contact, I end up hurt and humiliated. Am I irrational and jealous? I think I possibly am but i think he plays on it to make me feel worse. Some examples over the years


We go to wedding. Bride appeals to my boyfriend at the time to bring me out on the floor for a dance. He ignores her. I go to the bathroom. Next thing I come back and he’s out on the floor. Apparently, he’s been “dragged out” by friends.


Boyfriend takes day off work. It’s my birthday so I imagine a surprise. No – he’s taking the day off to travel 3 hours away to a former work mate’s going away do to which he doesn't even invite me.


Boyfriend goes away with work. Doesn’t call for a week even though I’m ill. I end up in hospital –still no call. In fairness, this is before the era of mobile phones but he doesn’t call my home number or work number.


Boyfriend arranges a night out with a friend and his wife. I have an appointment shortly beforehand so he agrees to go into town to meet said friend. They are going on somewhere and he promises to call me/text me to let me know where to meet them. No call/text. I call multiple times an get voicemail. No missed calls or messages from him. He rings me at 11.30 to go and collect him as he's had a few drinks.


Boyfriend is abroad travelling and working for a couple of months. We have not seen each other for about 3 months. I call him and tell him I will go over to see him that weekend unexpectedly. Big pause – no, not this weekend. I am playing golf.


WE go to family wedding (family on husband’s side). I am annoyed to start with. We are driving separately and both running tight on time. I arrive while speaking to him and have trouble finding parking space. I eventually park and while I switch off engine, forget to hang up phone. 5 minute later as I am walking towards reception, he pulls up, stops the car and berates me publicly for leaving phone on.


Later, we sit down post the meal. The bride’s aunt (no relation and has never met us before) pulls up a seat beside him, turns the chair and talks to him for about 45 minutes to an hour. During the course of that conversation, she touches his arm, his knee and leans in to give him a kiss on the cheek. Meanwhile I am sitting alone. I eventually call his name twice before he even hears and ask him for the key of our room as I think I will go back as feeling tired. He follows me out, asks what’s wrong?? I tell him to go back and look after his parents. He then pulls my hair when back in the room and calls me a cunt.


Next morning, at breakfast, he discusses the problem with his parents in front of me and says that I control our marriage. Today, I overhear him on the phone to his mother saying that I have showed no remorse for my action and that me walking off was the topic of debate at the wedding. I doubt if anyone even noticed. I did overhear a conversation at the wdding saying that that the woman in question is over the top the way she comes onto men. What pisses me off most is that I feel humiliated, humiliated by being ignored the night of the wedding but worse him discussing it with his parents in my presence the following morning. His mother kept going on about it making more of it than it actually was and you could see she had discussed it with other family members.

Am I an irrational and jealous person?

bgamall profile image

bgamall 4 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

Why isn't he interested in marrying you? If he pulls hair you need to consider getting out of the relationship. That is physical abuse.

The question is, how unstable and irresponsible he is.

You need to seek counseling, on your own if necessary.

annie 3 years ago

my husband and i have been married for three years now and durring this time ive caught him talking sexual to other woman on the phone texting back and forth and on face book ive even made a fake facebook and caught him ive went through his phone and seen diff messages between him and woman then he started emailing girls and talking bout meeting up with them on craigslist now he has a new job things haven't been adding up his hours are not accountable for and he lies about takeing his breaks even though he does and he found out this girls whole life story in two days how her husband beats the crap out of her and shes from california and has only lived around here for six months and where she lives and him and his best friend text back and forth about her all night long . he hadn't shaved his face or below the belt in over two months and then alll of a sudden decides to he works the night shift at a factory am i over reacting or is there really something going on

bgamall profile image

bgamall 2 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

We had a problem with the system. Sorry for the late response. You could always hire a private investigator to track him. He seems to be more interested than a married man would normally be.

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 2 years ago from Oklahoma

Good advice. I married a shy man so I never had to worry about this. He doesn't know the first thing about flirting. :)

bgamall profile image

bgamall 2 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

Lol Pamela, married to a shy man. :)) That is humorous. Thanks.

onika 2 years ago

I am Onika from U.K I want to give great appreciation to the great man named prophet Abayotor who helped me in getting back my love who left me for 3years within 48hours, after been scammed by some fake spell casters which made away with my money. i was watching my television when i saw a woman giving thanks to this great man for what he has done for her, although i have been scammed by so many spell casters but i still decided to contact him.I told him everything that happened and he just laughed over it and told me that my love will be back within the next 24hours at first i was full of doubt until the next 48 hours i had a call by unknown number i did not even think if he would be my love the next thing i could hear on the phone was my love pleading and begging me to forgive him and he promised not to hurt me till the rest of his life. I was so surprised and at the same time i was filled with joy and happiness, i did not waste anytime in accepting him because that was what i have been looking for, after calling, in the next 2hours time he came to my house and still pleading and begging me to forgive him the must surprising thing was that he gave me access to his account and everything that he have, for me to know that he is not going to leave me for any reason. Now we are living happily than ever before. So i want to use this opportunity to let the world to know that there are people in this world sent from God to help people to get back there husband e.g people like Prophet Abayotor, sir you are a great man. In case you want to thank him for me or you need his help you can contact him through his private mail: Once again thank you very much sir.

bgamall profile image

bgamall 2 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

Well, you are convinced that he helped you. I am not a fan of spell casters and would not recommend any of them.

lost 2 years ago

been married for 28 years, has been going on as long, problem is his, insecure, looking for validation, wife is pretty ,sexy and very sexual, provides emotion and love and encouragement everyday, looking to leave but afraid ,together since was 16 years old, where do i go from here and what do i do at 50???

bgamall profile image

bgamall 2 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada Author

Oh my, what to do at fifty? The answer has to come from within. But certainly you should see a marriage counselor together. If he doesn't want to go, then the decision rests with you.

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