10 Men You Don't Want to Date

Dating is hard. Seriously. I'm horrible at it. And with all the nonsense of internet dating websites and books like The Game, it's hard to believe that anybody finds true love in this day and age. But after being in the single world for a while (and hearing your friends' horror stories), you do start to notice some man patterns. Some good, but a LOT of bad. And when I say bad, I mean, men you don't want to date. Ladies, we need all the help we can get, so if you see any of these characteristics in your man, I suggest you get rid of him right quick!

Here are the top 10 types of men you do NOT want to have a relationship with:

Exactly what the jackass deserves...
Exactly what the jackass deserves...

1) The Clingy – he calls you sixty times a day, wants to see you every night, and can’t stand it when you see other people.  He drives you completely insane with his constant mixtapes that he gives to you to show his love, or obsession.  Whatever you want to call it.

2) The Jackass – he thinks it’s funny to insult you in front of his friends, and often tries to degrade you at least once each day in public.  He probably drives a huge truck, and his idea of fun is stealing the ice cream cones of unsuspecting children. 

"Hey everybody...come see how good I look!!"
"Hey everybody...come see how good I look!!"

3) The Self-Obsessed – he likes himself wayyyy more than you (or anyone) and spends your dates staring at himself in your compact.  He makes you match with his outfits and basically sees you as an accessory to his perfect body.  You know, like a man purse.

4) The Abuser – he puts you down whenever he can and tries to get you to believe you’re stupid and can’t do any better.  His whole goal in life is to keep your self-esteem as low as possible so you won’t leave him.  Ironically, he’s usually a huge loser himself with no job, a beer gut, and unattractive facial hair.

5) The Rusher – he tries to cram an entire year of relationship into one month.  His goal is to marry you before your six-month anniversary, and you’ve already met his entire family, gone on a romantic vacation AND babysat his cats in the first month of dating. 

6) The Commitment-Phobic – he’s so scared of committing that it even takes him 10 minutes to order food at a restaurant because he knows there’s no turning back afterwards.  You try for months to get him to even admit he likes you, to no avail.

The Rusher has seen too many of those engagement ring ads on Facebook...
The Rusher has seen too many of those engagement ring ads on Facebook...

7) The One Night Stand – he’s the last guy you’d ever think about having a relationship with, but you were drunk and in Mexico, and he was there.  The walk of shame is usually involved the next day, and if you saw him more than once, your friends would disown you.

8) The Immature – he’s usually younger than you (but not in every case), and he either plays video games all day or still laughs too hard at fart jokes.  He’s got that 13-year-old relationship mentality and can’t handle an adult conversation if his life depended on it.

9) The Jealous – he always thinks you’re cheating on him, even if you’re out with your girl friends, and he’s constantly stalking your phone and email.  He once told you he wanted you to stop going to your mom’s house so much because he thought it was unnecessary. 

10) The Unambitious – his idea of setting a goal is to win five games of beer pong in a row, or smoke out for a week straight.  He has absolutely no goals for the future, no job, and has gotten kicked out of school three times.  He only invites you over when he needs you to make a beer run. 

He's certainly no Einstein.
He's certainly no Einstein.

Comments 27 comments

men are dorks profile image

men are dorks 7 years ago from Namibia

Melissa, My ex is also melissa. I hope its not a bad omen. I'm all of those....

Got ya... Cool hub. There can probably be added a lot more but I think it covers most of the core of skunks/scunks....

Do you know where we men can get a simillar female version???

Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio

LOL....I know guys who have all of these! Thanks! :)

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 7 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Thanks for the comments guys :)

Men are dorks- if I can't find a good female version, maybe I'll have to write one! I'll let ya know if I do.

men are dorks profile image

men are dorks 7 years ago from Namibia

tx hun.

Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 7 years ago from Florida

I think I have dated some of these men!!! Thankfully, I learn from my mistakes!!! Great advice!!!

nazishnasim 7 years ago

LOL. Great sorting you have done over there. Fun to read! :D

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 7 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Anna Marie: I've dated a few of these too ;) They really do exist!

cuttierish profile image

cuttierish 7 years ago from USA / PHILIPPINES

great list.. i wouldn't want to date any of them, haha.. and if those are only guys left in the world, i would just stay single forever...

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 7 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Haha cuttierish...I completely agree! Dating any of these guys isn't fun, and it's probably better to stay single :)

Francine Smith 7 years ago

Great list. May I add... The divorced guy who tries to out-do his ex and her new high roller husband. He's a kind of cross between an Abuser, the Immature and the Self-Obsessed. You'll find him stalking his ex on Facebook and checking their Flickr page every day to what new Miami condo, new boat, new baby they have this week. So don't get caught in the crossfire!

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 7 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Great addition to the list, Francine! Mr. Obsessed with Outdoing His Ex-Wife should for sure be avoided too, sheesh. Love your detail about the Flickr page- hilarious!!

Thanks for stopping by and showing some love :))

Chocolate Lover profile image

Chocolate Lover 7 years ago from Indonesia

This kinda great tips, I have dated this kinda guy before too. And I think besides has no job, the one who has no friends and social live (exclusive and limited numbers) should be avoided too. They could have hidden agenda because he doesn't want us to know his friends... he could be kind of psycho or mafia tho...(who knows?)

Thanks for sharing this hub with us.....

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 7 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Ooo Chocolate Lover, I forgot about that one! We could call him Mr. Socially Isolated...always a warning sign if a guy has no friends & no job and is super secretive about you knowing other people in his life. That definitely speaks of a hidden agenda (or even a double life).

Thanks for the great comment!

jess 6 years ago

the immature one isn't that bad it can be fun but then again i am only 17 and haven't really grown up :)

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Jess, you don't need to worry as much about immaturity at your age ;) It's the men who still act like they're 17 when they're 35 that are the problem!

blah 6 years ago

Wow you really know your men Melissa ;) I must confess I'm totally a no.6 plus a painful dose of shyness haha

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

blah: Thanks for your comment!

Lost in the distance 6 years ago

:) Good list! What about the non-committal type that refuses to commit to anything?? And I mean ANYTHING! Every thing is MIGHT or MAYBE or NEVER KNOW. Nothing solid, yet when you try to back out of the relationship bc he clearly isn't that interested he doesn't understand because he thought things were going in a great direction and the two of you really had a future together!

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Thanks Lost in the distance! I agree....you don't want to date a non-committal guy. Kind of like the commitment-phobic, but we can also call the guy you described "The MAYBE Guy." :) All he knows is non-committal words like "maybe" and "I don't know"! Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

kirutaye profile image

kirutaye 6 years ago from London, UK

These are definitely the type of men you don't want to date.

Cool hub. Thanks for sharing.

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Thanks kirutaye! I appreciate you stopping by to comment.

rach 5 years ago

that is my exe all 10 u forgot don't go out with a bloke who thinks a line of coke is more important than u.. A bloke who forces u 2 say i love u cuz of his roid rage.. 1 that 1min he loves u and dnt wana no tha next. Tha 1 who gets so fuckd up u av 2 help him 2 bed.. N u put up wv it cuz u love him n u always wil so he can then cheat on u.. So he damages u n u dnt wana go nr anotha man again. Stay away frm that 2 sz 4 tha rant lol

shy 5 years ago

Just a shame I don't have the confidence to go on a date. I don't really match any of them. I think I only became jealous when I knew my ex cheated on me, but that's another story...

msthang 5 years ago

so like i dated a guy who dates anything in the skirt and acts sweet at the same time.He tells everygirl he meets how she's the worlds greatest. The other day i worked with a girl who was dating him as well, his a looser and pethatic wuuwee

nobody 4 years ago

is being over-committed bad aswell?

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 4 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

nobody- Well, over-committed could come off as clingy, which is usually bad. So yes.

Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 4 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

Right on! Awesome list! I have seen them all! Personally I would not want to date or be friends with any man who do not treat me with respect and be like a gentleman. I can't also stand men who are possessive or clingy. Personally, I expect my man to take the lead but I cannot tolerate a man who is overly controlling or abusive. Rated up and shared on FB.

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