10 Phrases That "I" Guarantee That All Newlyweds Will Hear In Their Marriage

There they are. A man and woman deeply in-love. Can't get an 8 1/2 x 11 piece of paper between them.It's all kissy-kissy, holding hands and only having eyes for each other.


Then, something mysterious happens that no one can explain. Some call it complacency. Some call it "taken for granted," while some daring souls call it "sheer boredom."


I say that if a newlywed couple WILL NOT use ANY of the 10 phrases below this photo, then the chances of them having a long marriage are great.

A HAPPILY-MARRIED MAN

For now. But when he starts using some of the things in this story, look out!
For now. But when he starts using some of the things in this story, look out! | Source

MORE LOOKS AT MARRIAGES WITH AND WITHOUT "MY" 10 GUARANTEED PHRASES

A happy bride because she doesn't use the things in my story.
A happy bride because she doesn't use the things in my story. | Source
A good marriage doesn't have to be elusive. Just don't use any of the things in the story to your left.
A good marriage doesn't have to be elusive. Just don't use any of the things in the story to your left.
This is what a good marriage looks like because this couple prohibits using the things in my story.
This is what a good marriage looks like because this couple prohibits using the things in my story.
This bridegroom has learned the hard way not to say any of the things in this story.
This bridegroom has learned the hard way not to say any of the things in this story.
This pretty bride is so bored from hearing my "10 Guaranteed Phrases," she is ready to move back home to mama.
This pretty bride is so bored from hearing my "10 Guaranteed Phrases," she is ready to move back home to mama.

THESE FIVE THINGS WILL BE SAID BY HUSBANDS TO THEIR WIVES IN THEIR MARRIAGE AND THEN "SPARKS WILL FLY" . . .

1. "Be there in a minute, hun," - yeah. What do you consider a minute, buddy, a half-hour? Your wife needs you. Why do you think she called you to begin with?

2. "Do what?" - a husband, newly-married or veteran, will surely say this phrase when he simply forgets something his caring wife has asked him to do such as fix a squeaking cabinet door.

3. "When this game is over!" - what's more important, your marriage or the outcome of the current Super Bowl (between the New England Patriots or the Seattle Seahawks?) I am honest, guys. Put your wife first and you will enjoy a lot more sports without arguments.

4. "Gotta work late again." - Oh really? You couldn't put off that last page of your precious presentation to be given to your boss the next morning to eat a delicious, home-cooked meal by your lovely bride? Get smart, men. Wives rule.

5. "You look good in anything." - men, if you say this phrase, you give your wife the signal that you are not paying any attention to her. Just take time to look her over in her new dress and say, "turn around again," and then say, "sa-weet!" What a great night you will have.

THESE FIVE THINGS WILL BE SAID BY WIVES TO THEIR HUSBANDS IN THEIR MARRIAGE AND THEN "SPARKS WILL FLY" . . .

1. "Can't you shave closer?" - girls, maybe your new bridegroom can't shave any closer due to the fact that he doesn't have a new razor. Just mention in a loving way, "dear one, on your way home tonight, be sure to read this list with ONE ITEM on it . . .Gillette razors for you to get a cleaner, closer shave.

2. "I am calling daddy. He will know what to do." - girls, when you say this to your man, well, he will be hurt badly because you don't trust his mechanical ability or some other manly-area of his life. Give the poor guy a chance before you call daddy. I promise you that your hubby will not be distant and stand-offish.

3. "You never take me anywhere." - and you will be right to say this, but say it this way, "dear, why don't we go to the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Appreciation Night at Hooters tonight? I will buy!" Before you know it, you are there. Then during the Cowboys Cheerleaders Appreciation Night, just whisper that you need to go to the dress shop to get a new wardrobe. He will melt like hot butter.

4. "I wish I had married 'Todd'!" - why? Was 'Todd' richer? Better looking? You made your choice to marry your husband, "Bill," who is now a bit out of shape, doesn't romance you like he did when you were dating, but he IS a good provider, he is faithful to you and doesn't drink or beat you up. Consider the words before they leave your mouth.

5. "If I want something done, I have to do it myself." - a man needs a bit of explanation of the task you ask of him. For example. You say, "bring me 'that' hammer," and you own 13 hammers. Your poor, confused husband doen't know if you want a certain hammer or just "a" hammer out of the 13 hammers. Be specific. He will appreciate it. And the tension will be null.

Excuse me. My wife is calling.

"Be right there, dear."

And I am.

A HAPPILY MARRIED GIRL

For now. But when she says things from my story, her marriage may turn sour.
For now. But when she says things from my story, her marriage may turn sour. | Source

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Comments 38 comments

writinglover profile image

writinglover 3 years ago from Lost...In Poetry

Hi, Kenneth! To add onto #4: Is 'Todd' smoother? Maybe. I had a witty comment about Wonder Woman and The Flash, but I forgot what it was! LOL! :)


billd01603 profile image

billd01603 3 years ago from Worcester

Good Hub, I have said some of those things and my wife has said a few!


michiganman567 profile image

michiganman567 3 years ago from Michigan

You look good in anything... yeah sure if you never want to see a woman get dressed up again. I'll be sure never to use that phrase.


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 3 years ago from San Francisco

Great hub! What an imagination. Love it. Thank you.


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up and interesting. I've heard those phrases said before in stories related to me about couples starting off marriage. Passing this on.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean

Very good counsel amid your humor. You're good at that! Voted Up, Useful, Interesting and funny. Thanks!


picklesandrufus profile image

picklesandrufus 3 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

Great advice for both parties!! As always-fun and interesting hub, Kenneth.


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 3 years ago from the South

You are absolutely right that most of these things will be said at one time or another! Great advice, as usual, Kenneth! You really know people!


tirelesstraveler profile image

tirelesstraveler 3 years ago from California

linking to my marriage hub. This is great.


DDE profile image

DDE 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

So true my friend, these are among the most common things heard once married, advise to watch for .


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 3 years ago

I enjoyed your post and the comments. Good points and love your humor added in for emphasis. I would add to #5 on the women's side -- ask at a good time, suggest a deadline and why -- in a positive way. Asking during the football game, demanding it on your time is not going to fly! I'm still chuckling. . .


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

writinglover: Please remember the line about Wonder Woman and The Flash. It has the potential to be another super hero hub. And YOU can write that one.

I KNOW your secret identity. OOOPS!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, billdo1603,

I am also guilty and when I really faced myself, I was very ashamed of THESE very phrases.

Thank you for your comment. And honesty.


writinglover profile image

writinglover 3 years ago from Lost...In Poetry

It's okay! Only US super heros can see that comment box!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

michiganman567,

Thank you for your candid comment. I appreciate it, but where I live, I know of TWO females, no, THREE, who WOULD look good with no makeup and dressed in burlap.

They are that naturally-pretty.

But I dare say that their companions NEVER say that line about 'looking good in anything' because they've never thought of how dry it sounds.

Thanks again!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

writinglover,

Good! I hate to see Lois on a rampage. I remember this one time, at "super hero camp," that she charged at me just for mentioning that Batgirl was cute. What a mistake that was.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

mhatter99,

Thank you, my friend, for your comment/compliment. I appreciate so much.

Now to get myself licensed as a marital therapist. What should I charge, $50.00 a day or hour?


writinglover profile image

writinglover 3 years ago from Lost...In Poetry

Do you think Lois might be a super villian in disguise?


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Gypsy Rose Lee,

Thank you for your comment,vote, and sharing of this hub that I published ONLY to help newlyweds or maybe us "olderweds," in their talks with each other.

Sometimes a person's tongue is their own worst enemy.

I know.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

@ writinglover,

Lois? A super villain? Hmmm, well, now that you mention it. One time two weeks ago, as Ken Kent, I was taking her on a dinner date and well, she was wearing this, and Im blushing, tight, red dress that well, caught the eye of a bully near the restaurant. I tried to defend her, but "had to act weak," to protect my REAL name. Well, the thug tried to slug Lois, but her tight dress just repelled each punch until the thug passed out from exhaustion.

Then she tonguelashed me, "you just stood there and nearly made me ruin this new dress!!! You lowly coward!"

That hurt. I don't mind telling you.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

MsDora,

Thank you very much for your sweet comment. I value your input as I do all of my Great Followers.

You all do help to make my life fulfilled.

That sounds corny, but I mean it.

Kenneth


writinglover profile image

writinglover 3 years ago from Lost...In Poetry

Could she be a newly evolved form of Poison Ivy?


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, catgypsy,

Thank you kindly for your sweet remarks. I am inspired by YOU and every follower Ive been blessed with.

These winter days it's tough to keep coming up with ideas, so I am going to be like a bear one day and JUST sleep. LOL.

Good idea, right?


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

@ writinglover,

OHHHH MYYYYYY GOOOSH! Not her! Not PI!!!! That girl almost put an end to my buds, Batman and Robin.

Thanks for the heads-up and looking out for me.

"I" shall not forget it. And I am watching over you . . .oh, Lois is in my ears, because I can hear for hundreds of miles . . .excuse me.

Yes, Lois. Do what, Lois? Oh, no one, Lois, Just some, uuhhhh, newspaper business.

Wheww. A close call.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

tirelesstraveler,

Thank YOU for your participation in this hub. I appreciate you thinking this much of my phrases to never use in marriage.

I value your input and following.


writinglover profile image

writinglover 3 years ago from Lost...In Poetry

Very close, indeed. *looks over shoulder*


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

DDE,

Thank you so much, my friend, for your comment. Oh there are more comments that signal boredom and shallow personalities, but that has to be 'put on the back burner,' for now.

Stay tuned. I have a hub coming Wednesday about "Confidence," and I want ALL OF YOU ON THIS HUB COMMENT BOX SECTION to critique it for me.

Thanks!!!!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

writinglover,

I am so glad that Lois doesn't have powers like us. But this "act" of mine as weakling, Ken Kent, gets tiring at times, but things must be kept like they are . . .FOR NOW.

Oops, almost blew the lid off my next adventure.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, teaches12345,

Thanks for your input too. I needed it so much. Yes, "demanding" is a harsh way to get compromise. Thanks for your correcting me. "Asking" in a nice way, still might be the solution.

Come back anytime for a visit!


writinglover profile image

writinglover 3 years ago from Lost...In Poetry

No worries!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, picklesandrufus,

Thanks for your sweet comments that I cherish. And not just for this comment, but ALL of your thoughts and input.

You and my followers are so wonderful.

Thank you.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

@ writinglover,

per your "no worries," comment . . .

"Sweet!"


writinglover profile image

writinglover 3 years ago from Lost...In Poetry

The Amazonians are calling...til' Wednesday!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

writinglover,

I understand. (sighs) as I see you vanish away.


Jean Bakula profile image

Jean Bakula 3 years ago from New Jersey

Hi Kenneth,

So nice to see you over on the "purple" forum. Do you believe all the junk they make us go through on HP? But we're still here. I don't know what it is. I write on other sites, but nobody seems to like my Astrology stuff. I have a blog, Marisa Wright on the forums helped me make it, all the way from Australia! She's such a nice person! But I've monetized it and had it for a year, and didn't make a penny. I like having it though, as I can write whatever I want. The address is in my profile if you get bored enough to take a look. I hope all is going well with you, and your health is doing better or holding stable. I guess HP has some kind of hold on people if it was the first site they wrote on. Infobarrel has gone over to the payment style same as HP, so I wrote the obligatory 10 pieces there. But there's a really good guy who writes about the same kind of stuff I do, so it kind of throws a wrench in things. I get an idea, sit down to write, and "bam" there he just published something on the same topic. Oh well. Have a nice Easter. Take care.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

My Dear Friend, Jean,

Wow, you have a blog? I tried those a year or so ago and it "went south" fast. And like HP, I poured all I had into them. No followers. No cash.

But with HP, I have received a pay-out or two and that helps.

Don't think that I am being corny, but for me, it is followers, well, good friends like YOU, to make the HP experience worthwhile.

I can sense that you are a real person. No fringe. No tinsel and I love that.

Some on HP are out for themselves and although I do not want to hurt anyone intentionally, I am avoiding these people.

I cannot be a "One Man Cheerleading Squad" for one person. Hey, there's a hub idea for you.

Anyway. My health, according to my doctors, will NOT get any better, but only increase in pain as the years go by. I can only take spinal injections every three months and med's 365. But hey, like you said. We are still here.

Happy Easter to YOU, my dear Jean. My email is:

kennethavery5376@yahoo.com if you choose to just write sometime. I would answer promptly.

Again, thanks for being such a genuine and good friend.

KENNETH


LongTimeMother profile image

LongTimeMother 3 years ago from Australia

Pleased to report my marriage has managed to avoid all these lines of doom. Interesting food for thought. Voted up!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest LongTimeMother,

You are a very-blessed girl. And a sincere thank you for the comment.

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