10 Rules For Using Text Messages in New Relationships


If you're not careful you can spoil a new relationship if you use text communication incorrectly. These ten rules (plus some bonus knowledge) allow you to make the most of new relationships and to enjoy an excellent text -life!

If you text incorrectly you could blow a new relationship by appearing too cold, too eager or too stupid. You need to get the balance just right, limit the ambiguities and leave something to the imagination. Don't be boring or depressing. Try not to brag but try to show interest and inject the right amount of humour. Whatever you do avoid the “warts and all” approach to texting and if possible remain mysterious. For a bonus tip you'll have to read through all TEN RULES of having good text!

FIRST RULE: How to make sure you don't appear too cold

Make sure you reply to the text within two hours of its receipt.. If it takes longer than 2 hours, make sure you include a reason for the delay in responding. Of course, should you wish to appear cold respond the following week or not at all.

SECOND RULE: How to make sure you don't appear too eager

Apply the half hour rule. This rule dictates that you don't reply before 35 minutes have elapsed. Of course this rule can be suspended once the relationship is getting somewhere - indeed to have satisfying text (if appropriate) you should have some texts prepared to shoot off as soon as you can,

THIRD RULE: How to avoid looking stupid

Remember that texts can be stored and read time and time again so any mistake will be noticed, if not immediately, at some point in the future. Unles you are both teenagers, avoid text speak such as m8 (instead of mate) and l8 (instead lf late). Stay away from throw away clichés such as LOL and never use the term PML because you'll look stupid AND very crude. To really impress include in your text a word which most people spell incorrectly, such as government or environment. Use there, their and they're in the right context

FOURTH RULE: Don't be boring

Sometimes it is better to stay quiet that to text (or talk) and bore someone. Ask yourself, would you like to receive a text that lists the processes involved in cooking a breakfast? Look at the following examples and decide which is least boring

  1. “First of all I ensured the hob was clean and selected the correct frying pan, saucepan and cooking utensils. Then I went to the fridge an removed the eggs and butter. I got the beans from the pantry . . .”
  2. “I enjoyed every mouthful of my delicious breakfast”

If you think A was less boring you really must reassess your behavior. Short and sweet is always better than long and pedantic (when it comes to texting).

FIFTH RULE: Don't depress your text's recipient

If you've just met and exchanged numbers with someone the last thing they want to hear is that you are depressed, lonely, penniless or without any prospects. If you are any of the aforementioned try and hide it from your would be partner until they have fallen for you. Do not reveal any of these secrets until you have formed a strong relationship and if the relationship never gets to this point - never reveal them. You'll regret it if you do

SIXTH RULE: Don't brag

Remember, nobody likes a big head. If you're actually very rich, very good looking, very clever or you have excellent prospects DO NOT tell your would be partner about these in a text or on the telephone for that matter. The only way to show someone that you are any or all of the aforementioned is by example. Chances are if you state these things in a text, you'll appear untruthful.

SEVENTH RULE: Be interested in your text's recipient

Ask a question about them, their career, their opinion or (if appropriate) their family. Texts that include the words my and mine more than you, your can come across as self obsessed. Texts without questions and purely statement paint a picture of someone a tad arrogant (and that's an understatement!).

EIGHTH RULE: Try for some humour

By all means do include a short joke but don't go off on a surreal path and make it all joke. Too much humour at this stage night present as “bunny boiler”. Keep it jocular but until you know someone well leave the mind games texts until later.

NINTH RULE: Avoid warts and all

Eventually should your new relationship blossom into anything lasting and mutually fulfilling you will know everything about one another “warts and all” as they say. By this I mean both parties guilty secrets from the past and opinions that are difficult to accept. Whatever you do never list these in a get it off your chest text. I know one man who always does this and then wonders why he get stood up by his text recipients - you've got to laugh but it's sad really, when you think.

TENTH RULE: Remain mysterious

Be enigmatic. A picture can say more than a thousand words or fifty texts sent one after another. Send pictures that you think your recipient will keep. If you succeed in doing this your recipient will think of you every time they look at it. By pictures I don't mean ones of you in a compromising position or of you without full apparel. I'm thinking more of beautiful landscapes, animals or anything you think appeals to your new love interest. Examples include trains (if he's a train spotter), celebrities eating if (she's a celebophile) or plates of delicious food (if s/he is a foody). If it's true that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach, wait until you know what his favourite food is, cook it or acquire it using other methods (get you Mom to cook it or buy an example) and send him a picture of that.

BONUS RULE: If you want to get anyone's complete attention time your texts to arrive just before their lunchtime. I haven't the time to explain why this should be the case but believe me this is BONUS knowledge.

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Comments 5 comments

SK George 7 years ago

Very useful article. Gives an over view of what works and What not in messaging.. Every one using texting should have seen!

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stricktlydating 7 years ago from Australia

Great information, thanks :)

text messages 7 years ago

are you shore these rules will work great info

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frackthat 6 years ago from SydneySide

i don't agree with the whole rule thing. I don't think there is a right and wrong way to go about it. Use your gut. If you want to message, you should, and say what you would want to say. Don't hold back. If they don't like it, they're not worth it or not interested. Most guys who are really keen on you love getting messages from you and don't analyse how you said something. They take things on face value. Girls on the other hand over analyse messages, looking for hidden meaning.

royalblkspade 6 years ago

I don't agree with the rules of texting. I think when it comes to individual likes and dislikes will determine how to move forward with texting. For example, my friend and I text constantly throughout the day and we respond back to each other within seconds. We are pretty much open with each other, which that level of communication works for us. No matter how stupid it may sound, you should feel comfortable with expressing yourself without the need to feel judged. Within a few days or after one very good conversation, you should be able to make good decisions when it comes to texting.

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