10 Signs that the Man is a Keeper
This man is NOT a Keeper!
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Should he GO or should he STAY?
You've been seeing this guy for a couple of months. Things seem to be hotting up between the two of you. He might just be THE ONE. However, when you go to sleep at night, instead of dreaming about naked handsome hunks jumping over the style with their dingle dangles swinging from side to side like a young girl's ponytail when she's jogging around the block, you keep analysing your relationship. Is he right for you? Maybe there's someone better? Should I go for an exclusive relationship? Oh my God, should I let him move in with me? These questions go round and round in your head like a moth around a candle flame, until you're going so crazy, that you throw off your covers and run outside into the garden and howl at the moon like a rabid wolf. Of course, the neighbours turn on their lights, gather on their doorsteps and spot you in your garden, naked as the day you were born. All this is not good. Your grandmother would not be proud of you at this time.
Rather than dithering over your relationship, unsure which way to go, here are the top 10 signs that your man is a keeper. If you can tick them off on his scorecard, quickly head down to the nearest S & M outlet and buy a pair of handcuffs. You can't afford to miss out on this one.
- More or less truthful. If the guy is basically honest and does make a concerted effort to tell the truth, he's probably worth keeping. If you ask him how you look, when you've poured yourself into last year's jeans that are possible two sizes too small, and he says you look great, he's a keeper! Guys worth keeping know when to tell the truth and when to lie. It's a sign that they are intelligent.
- Gainfully employed. If he has a real job and earns a good enough salary, he's worth hanging on to. Of course, if he works for Alfonzo, the neighborhood drug dealer and pimp, even though he is employed and might earn a lot of sheckels, it's not gainful employment. You might have to learn how to bake a cake with a file in it. Guys in jail don't usually earn a good salary. If his only employment is mowing his Granny's lawn twice a month, dump him.
- Chivalrous. If he's respectful, well-mannered, polite and opens your door for you and stands aside to let you through first, he's got class and comes from a good family. If he talks nicely to your folks, and speaks with respect to his folks, chances are he'll treat you with respect as well. If he orders his mother around, shouts at his Dad, and swears at incompetent drivers on the road, give him his marching orders.
- Loves all of you. If he loves your curves, never tells you to lose weight, doesn't make negative comments about your appearance, fetches you the glass of water to put your false teeth in at night, then he's a keeper.
- Ex-girlfriend. If he never compares you to his ex-girlfriend, and never regales you with stories about what his ex-girlfriend did that was so good and better than you, then he's probably over her and you are so great, there's no comparison.
- Initiative. If he shows initiative and makes you a cup of coffee when you need one, without you having to ask for it, that's a very good sign. If he takes the dirty plates to the kitchen, and washes them without you dropping any subtle hints, get a dog collar and chain, and keep him tethered to the outside of the house. Make sure he does have access to the inside of the house as well. Of course, if he puts the toilet seat down without being asked to, then you need to book a wedding date. marriage to this man is a must.
- Laugh together. If he has a great sense of humour and can make you laugh, that is a brilliant start. Laughing together is very important and can make your relationship a lot of fun. Of course, there is a difference between laughing with you and laughing at you. If he has a tendency to laugh at you, then have your neighbour's rottweiler show him to his car.
- Keeps promises. If he keeps appointments and keeps promises, he's a keeper. If he remembers what he promised in the heat of the moment, then he's worth considering. If he goes beyond and above the call of duty to carry out a promise, then book yourself into the nearest mental hospital if you let him go.
- Gets on with your friends. If he enjoys your friends' company, I mean really enjoys their company, with no pretence of enjoying hanging out with them, then he's the real deal. There is nothing worse than being with someone who always finds excuses not to hang out with you and your friends. Of course, if he showers too much attention on your hottie friends and ignores your nottie friends, then it's probably better to let him go.
- Feelings. If he can talk about his feelings, shows emotion during movies then he's worth keeping. If he sobs uncontrollably during a chick flick, it's either a put on to make you believe he's sensitive, or he's overly sensitive, either way, show him the door.
If the guy is strong in a few areas and weak in others, you have to decide what it is you can live with and what will annoy and irritate the shit out of you. There are very few keepers around, and when you find one, don't let him go. Many women are attracted to men who are bastards and who treat them badly. Short-term they're a thrill. Long-term they're a nightmare. If you are with a good man who is good to you, don't inadvertently spoil it and chase him away. Overcome your self-esteem issues and believe that a decent man wants to be with you.
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