10 Things to Never Tell a New Husband
Newlywed couple look over house plans
Ahhh, the blissful first few weeks of marriage. Passion, laughter, more passion, priceless romantic moments, and secret prayers by both partners that these moments will last.
But sadly, they don't. Men and women are flesh and blood. Not perfect except in each other's eyes. And in the first few years of marriage, the man drives himself to please his new bride--regardless of the task, he is up for it. And here are the reason the groom nearly kills himself for his bride
- He wants her to look upon him as a Greek god.
- He wants to always be her hero.
- He never wants her to even think she has made a mistake in marrying him.
- He, as a male, is driven to impress her--a law of life.
Wives sometimes will not think, but say something that is "not" wrong, but the new husband's ears hears what she says completely-differently.
That is why this piece "10 Things to Never Say to a New Husband" was born.
Peace and tranquility forever
#10 "My daddy can fix that, so let me call him." Not the worst a new wife can say to her husband, but really upsetting to the hew husband. Although the new wife is only trying to help her man out of a jam, the new husband doesn't hear it that way. There is this invisible knowledge that a bride's dad always calls her, "his little sugar pumpkin," and he will always occupy a large part of her heart, and the new husband knows this, so he is only trying to work his way into a permanent place in his new bride's heart.
#9 "Hey, sweetie. Make that face again. You look just like Brad Pitt when you look that way." is an innocent remark made by an adoring wife, but to the husband, he is being compared to this pared to the "Hollywood hunk," Brad Pitt. Some husbands are not sensitive and they will go directly into a defensive mode and reply, "Well then, head-out to Brad Pitt! Stop wasting your time with me." And then it's on. If the wife would have said, "Sweetie, please do not make that face again. You look like that yukky Brad Pitt." I promise you that the husband would, not that his territory is secure, he will defend Pitt. I have seen this happen.
#8 "Why didn't you work for Mike, sweetie?" This is pretty hurtful, but not as serious as the two comments above. This conversation can be had anywhere, home, high school reunion, on a plane. The "Mike" is the new wife's "old flame," who now owns a huge company and is wealthy beyond reality. The new husband owns his own landscaping company with 68 clients and ten employees. Not bad. But now, with this remark, the husband feels less than a man to his new bride. Remember what I said about the new husband always wanting to be her hero?
#7 "Honey, I'm bored. If you don't want to take me out tonight, I think I will go with Julie, Sally and Todd to dinner." Whoaaaa. Todd? Who's Todd? The new husband knows Julie and Sally, his wife's coworkers, but Todd? Where did he come from? And the husband demands to know. "Ohh, silly. He's a gay florist who did Julie's bridal shower. You are so jealous (giggle)." The new husband is threatened by other guys in the first few years of marriage. This is normal. But if your new husband pulls off his shirt to lift weights and compete with the new wife's brother in an exercise contest, then he might have a more-serious issue.
Husbands: Has your wife ever said anything similar to these ten things?See results without voting
Isn'/t marriage great?
#6 "We do not need hubby tonight," says a giddy new wife only kidding with him when her "old flame," comes to town on business and calls to see if he can visit for a little while. Of course, unless the new husband is David Caruso, a master of self-control, he will get angry quick and feel unwanted. Advise to the new wife is to NOT say this at all, but have a nice dinner with her "ex" and husband and this way, new husband will feel as secure as he ever was.
#5 "Oh, hunny. You'd look good in that. My philosophy professor always looked hot in that." The new wife says to new husband about a particular suit and striped pants. But new husband is a rugged, outdoors man's man type of man and resents this immediately. She can say, "Hunny, do you like that wardrobe in the window?" If he says no, at least you gave him a choice.
#4 "I'll check with mother and see what she says." When new husband and wife are arguing about a remodeling project, it is the wife who, without knowing it, makes the new husband's advice feel futile by even suggesting a call to her mom. Now there is no blame to either party here. The wife did not mean to be so vindictive and the husband should not have been so easily-offended.
#3 "You might get a new job." A concerned wife says to new husband due to the possibility of a financial-crisis in their income. Not only does she insult the husband's job, an assistant manager at a local convenience store that does provide free healthcare for spouses, but causes the new husband to think that his job (that he is a perfect attendance record) is not good enough anymore. The wise wife can say, "Hunny, have you ever thought about seeking a job that is challenging to a smart guy like you?" Is she kissing-up? Some. But she will not be fighting with hubby tonight.
#2 "I would enjoy making love more if you would lose 50 pounds," says a wife who has not really thought about what she was going to say. "So you think I am big?" the hurt hubby replies. "Well, you have gained weight like crazy since we were first married a year ago." she replies. Then she quickly apologizes for not remembering all of those pre-wedding buffets, wedding reception buffet and after-marriage ceremony and all those dishes that the aunts and grandma's brought the couple to "get off on the right foot."
#1 "Best let me drive. I know the town better than you," says the excited bride about getting to go back home for the weekend to see her parents. But hubby, the number one man and provider in her life is hurt by her remark. The quick-thinking wife then adds, "Hunny, you are a great driver, but I just wanted to prove to my mom that I could drive from Minnesota to Sante Fe without any help." Husband understands and nods-off to sleep.
If there are no questions, we will declare this "Husband Healing Marital Seminar," dismissed.
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