10 Ways To Winning And Keeping Good Friends

A true friend is like a precious jewel. The Bible tells us: “He that hath found a friend hath found a treasure.” In order to make friendships last for a lifetime, cultivate the qualities that foster lasting friendships. Below are the factors that foster lasting friendships:


True friendship is built on how friends trust each other, a real friend is someone you can confide your secrets to and know he or she will not disclose them to others. If you cannot share with a friend your most cherished thoughts because you think he or she might just be critical about it, then it is time to reflect if such a relationship is worthy of your care and attention.


Friends must always be honest with each other. Honesty is the best policy especially in lasting friendships. A true friend tells you your defects even at the risk of being branded with the same honesty accorded to you though the truth may hurt.


Respect is earned, not forced down one’s throat. To earn it, you must also show deference for other people’s rights. If, for instance, you see your friends studying quietly, you can show respect to them by not creating noise or engaging in boisterous laughter with your other friends. They will also respect your desires and wishes because you have shown respect for them in the first place.


Loyal friends stick to each other through thick and thin. It is not only when the going is easy and smooth that friends stick to each other. True friends stay with each other even in times of insurmountable odds and difficulty and boost each other’s morale until a crisis is over.


This can be shown by little acts of thoughtfulness like remembering each other’s birthday or greeting friends on their special days. This should be manifested during times of crises such as illness, emotional problems, misunderstandings, and unhappy situations. Concern can be shown through moral support, financial assistance, and by offering help or doing something about a problem in order that your friend might be relieved.

Now here are some tips on how to gain and keep friends...

1. Go out and meet people.

If you are shy, exert extra effort to overcome your shyness and be at ease with others. People will readily accept you for what you are if you are friendly.

2. Be extra active.

Participate in activities which offer you possibilities of meeting friends. This may be a dance, party, picnic, or any sports event.

3. Talk to the people.

When you meet persons you would like to be friends with, go out of your way to talk to them. Draw them to a conversation on things that might be of mutual interest to you like hobbies, books, and school activities.

4. Develop a pleasant disposition.

Smile and greet your acquaintances. Do not expect them to greet you first. This friendly attitude will attract others to be your friends.

5. Help others.

Go out of your way to be of service to other people, like accompanying a newcomer to the principal’s office. This step may lead to a pleasant friendship.

6. Always have a good words for others.

Comment on their good points but do this sincerely and not as flattery. Flattering people is not a good trait because it is shallow and lacks sincerity and truth.

7. Avoid criticising people.

If you do not have a good thing to tell another, it is better not to say anything at all. Overcritical persons lose their friends instead of keeping them.

8. Be a good listener.

Show interest in what other persons is saying. This is a sign of respect for other people. When you are talking you would also want others to listen and pay attention to what you are saying. A good friend listens attentively to another.

9. Stay connected and be concerned.

Develop a circle of friends who are there when you need them or for whom you can do something for them. Be able to discriminate friends who are sincere and be loyal to them.

10. Do not be possessive.

Never be selfish of your friends because you deny them the pleasure of meeting others. Possessiveness is a sign of insecurity and selfishness.

We all need friends. This is the message which the famous quotation “No man is an island” imparts. Everybody wants a friend who will be loyal through thick and thin. Teenagers have a strong desire for friends because they want to be identified with a group they could turn to in times of great need specially when problems involve the family. To have good friends is not easy because friendship must begin with one’s own self. As the saying goes...

To have friends, to yourself first be a friend!

Copyright © 2016 by Julie Nou.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses with proper accreditation.

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Oki Johnny profile image

Oki Johnny 8 weeks ago

Amazing article indeed, i would say among all the factors you enlisted there, Trust, Honesty and Respect are the most important of them all, because when true friendship is based on the above three factors, all other misunderstanding will be avoided. Lots of broken homes today can be avoid if only we can learn to trust one another, be honest and at least have respect for each other. These alone will save alot of marriages and friendship.

adeniki 8 weeks ago

excellent advice on keeping friends that I believe will aid me in keeping the best company in the future!

collins otiende 8 weeks ago

'To have friends, first be a friend to yourself ' a quote I will keep on my reminders. Have read many mind blogging articles on friendship but not yet as informative and precise as this. From personal experience, am shy from starting new friendship but this is a positive step towards facing my fears. It's one of those inspirational articles that just gets you on the move love it.

Filip 8 weeks ago

Nice one. It is important to stay humble. You can win and forget about your true friends, but remember that thay will be there even when losing times come. Beside that, success is even sweeter when it is shared with people you love. Trust, respect and love is all we need these days.

temmar 8 weeks ago

Frankly, I liked the article so much, a lot of useful information, I knew some of them, but I did not know the exact details inside, indeed, friendship precious thing in existence, and I liked it as well, tight regulation of the article, thank him, wait for him more and more articles brilliant like her, especially with regard to the personal aspects of the human being in society and how to deal with members of his community all segments fact, thank you

Caroline Kaugher 8 weeks ago

You mention loyalty, and it is a great quality, but I think a lot of people don't really know what loyalty is. They think loyalty means sticking by their friend...even when they are wrong. It isn't. As far as avoiding criticism.. I think maybe if you feel the need to constantly criticize your friend, maybe they aren't really your friend after all, and you need to re-examine what it is you want out of a friend.. or maybe you just want some sycophants?

Julie Nou profile image

Julie Nou 8 weeks ago from Celestial Heaven Author

yep loyalty is by far the hardest thing in friendship. it takes your dedication and true love and concern for your friends.

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