10 Ways to Get Over Your Ex Boyfriend

Girls, having a bad breakup?

Breakups are the worst invention in the history of man. Nobody enjoys them. We yell, then we cry, eat 6 gallons of mint chocolate chip ice cream by ourselves, watch anti-men movies like Thelma and Louise, and refuse to leave the house for weeks. Isn't there a better way to do this? There has to be an easier way than the fighting, screaming, name calling, vase throwing madness that is most breakups. 

Maybe one day we'll figure out a better way to go through breakups. But till then, they're going to be hard. No matter what happened between you and your ex, it's time to move on. But how do you start that process? I'm assuming you've already tried vase throwing and name calling. Those are good and necessary tools, but now you should be ready to try a more civil approach. Better for your chi. 

Ladies, here are 10 positive ways you can get over your ex:

1) Put away all remnants that remind you of your ex. 

This includes everything from a diamond necklace to a post-it note that he wrote you. I'm not saying you have to get rid of them for good, but put them in storage or in the bottommost part of your closet, even underneath that horrid 1970s Christmas sweater you wore to a party once. If you start taking a peek, give everything to a friend or torch it all (safely of course). The term "out of sight, out of mind" is actually spot on, so keeping anything that reminds you of your ex out of sight will help you to think about him less.

2) Make his name a bad word.

You'll need your friends and family's help on this one. Tell them that you are here and now, as of this very moment, not allowed to say your ex's name. Make sure your loved ones police you on this--and even come up with a punishment if you do slip and say his name. For maximum effect, make the punishment a chore you hate to do.

3) Laugh.

If you're feeling bummed about the breakup, spend your days laughing. Laughter is the easiest way to get your positive attitude back. It's impossible to be sad while laughing, right? Put in your favorite gut-busting laughter movies, listen to great comedy CDs in the car, and tell hilarious stories when you're out with your friends. If you keep yourself laughing, soon enough you'll forget completely about your ex and how lame he was!

It's the best medicine!

4) Do new things.

Avoid places and things you used to do solely with your ex. You don't have to deprive yourself of ever seeing another movie or anything, but stay away from your old haunts. If you used to go to the same bar every weekend or eat at that really good Italian spot 6 times a month, those are the spots to avoid. Give yourself this opportunity to find new hangout spots and explore new discoveries.

5) Read and/or learn.

The easiest way to forget about the past is to focus on something in the present. Even if you're not in school anymore, there is still much to learn in the world! Give yourself a learning project, whether it's taking a beginning guitar class, reading 100 classic novels or learning about the mating habits of butterflies. Focus on putting more wrinkles in your brain and you'll soon forget about the drama in your personal life.

6) Spend time with your loved ones.

Most people would tell you to start dating again. But soon after a breakup, I consider that a mistake…for you and the poor guy you end up using as a rebound! Instead, hang out with your friends and family--people who love you already and can help you build yourself back up after your breakup. Once you're feeling good again, that's the time to get back out there in the dating world.

7) Start a journal.

Journal writing is a great way to get over anything. It gives you a chance to sit down with your feelings and really hash things out with yourself. If you've never tried journal writing before, give it a shot. List all the problems you had with your ex, write about the time when you wanted to leave his cheating ass at Disneyland, get it all out. This will help you on the recovery highway to getting over your ex.

8) Pamper yourself.

Take some special "you" time, to make yourself look as hot as possible. Make time for bubble baths, manis and pedis, and facials, massages…anything you can afford or get your hands on. For a cheaper alternative, have a homemade beauty night with your girl friends. Make avocado and oatmeal masks and cucumber slices for the eyes, and gab about how hot you and your friends are. Who needs boys to have fun!

9) Do whatever it takes not to run into him. 

Sometimes it's hard to get over your ex because you end up seeing him continuously after your breakup. Maybe you go to the same school, church or gym. So do everything in your humanly power not to see him. Talk to a mutual friend about when he'll be inhabiting certain places so you can avoid at that time. Switch your church times, or run around your neighborhood instead of going to the gym. Do everything except talk to your ex. If you're trying to get over him, seeing him everywhere only does harm to your recovery. 

10) Stay positive.

I've written this in many hubs, but it never hurts to add it as a reminder. The power of positive thinking will surprise you. If you're really having trouble getting over your ex, stay positive and tell yourself you will get over him. Life will go on. Plant some flowers and watch them grow if that's what it takes for you to remember that life goes on after a breakup. You can do it. One of these days, you'll wake up and he'll be so insignificant to you, you'll barely remember his name. 

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Comments 185 comments

Chocolate Lover profile image

Chocolate Lover 7 years ago from Indonesia

Thanks for sharing this, I love it... I'm working on it now... And I think I have done half way.....

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 7 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

You are very welcome, Chocolate Lover. Glad to be of help! Thank you for your comment :)

Jersey Jess profile image

Jersey Jess 6 years ago from USA

This is definitely something I need, thanks so much for sharing! :)

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

You're welcome Jersey Jess! Glad to be of service :)

Babangida kanya profile image

Babangida kanya 6 years ago from Abuja

I like that

nikitha p profile image

nikitha p 6 years ago from India

very informative

Ohgosh 6 years ago

I tried all these things, and they aren't helping..

silly sally 6 years ago

i broke up with my ex 1yr ago and seen someone else. the dart thing is i knew istill loved my ex. i see him 3 times a wk and we do get on. but he took his ex back after 7 yrs of being with me, he vows he wont hurt her but we are still sleeping together from time to time. the both of us agree we love each other. he wont allow me to remain friends with the man i was seeing when i left him. please help is he using me or does he love me.

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Ohgosh: Try giving it time...unfortunately if none of these are working, you may just need time to get over it. I know that sucks, but sometimes it's the only thing that works. Hope you feel better in the future! Thanks for your comment.

silly sally: Sounds like you're in a very complicated situation! I can't say for sure on your situation, but my idea of a good relationship is a monogamous one. It doesn't sound like your ex wants to be monogamous with you, and if that's what you want, I'd say leave him for good. Never settle for less than what you deserve! Best of luck to you, and thanks for stopping by.

noorin profile image

noorin 6 years ago from Canada

M. Rose, I couldn't agree more on all of ur advises =) Rated it up

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

I appreciate that very much, noorin! Thanks for commenting :)

amanda 6 years ago

very long story short, i was with my ex for 1 year and he cheated on me for 4 months. after we broke up we never spoke again because he deleted me off everything. this happened 7 months ago and im not over it still. what should i do?

amanda 6 years ago

-we are both 16

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Ristha 6 years ago

well, i just broke up with my ex bf.it's been 2months ago, the reason we broke off is his temper and anger...he was very loyal and faithful in the relationship but his weakness is his anger and often take me for granted. i advised him to control his anger, but he failed. I made my stand to leave him when he slapped and punched me...worst part,he is a vengeful person. he even asked me to kiss his foot to ask for forgiveness...(though it was his mistake).and i did it!(love is blind!) though i when through a hell, i still can't hate him whole heartedly and sometime i dreamt of getting back to him if he ever change..what should i do?

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

amanda: That's a hard situation to be in. And I'm sure the cheating is a big part of the reason why you're not over it too...the best thing you can do right now is take a break from boys, focus on school, family, your friends and hobbies. It'll help you mend if you keep busy. Good luck!

Ristha: You're very brave for leaving when your relationship became physically abusive, good for you. Nobody deserves to be treated with such disrespect. Dreaming of getting back with him if he changes isn't unusual at all...most of us would love to get back with a guy, as long as things were different. Just remember that he won't change, and the relationship will be exactly the same if you start it up again. The best advice I can give you is stay away from him and allow yourself the time to move on.

amanda 6 years ago

is it normal to be crying about it still? and think about him everyday but sometimes you feel really good and over it, then other days you don't feel that way

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Ristha 6 years ago

thx amanda...will follow what exactly u said...

amanda 6 years ago

that wasn't to you ristha sorry! i was asking her a question actually. get him to go to anger management for his own sake, but don't go back with him you deserve better

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

amanda: Yes, that's totally normal! You're still grieving the loss of your relationship. Give yourself time and don't be too hard on yourself if you're having trouble moving on...breakups are hard, especially when it doesn't end well. Keep yourself busy with good stuff and you'll find one day that you've moved on :)

No problem Ristha (assuming you were talking to me)! You do deserve better, and you will find it.

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Ristha 6 years ago

yes sorry,amanda...is 4u M.rose...thanks :) yes amanda...i did ask him to go for anger management class..bt he will never listen...i need to move on to see light of happiness..:) and amanda u too will...:)

swati01 profile image

swati01 6 years ago from India

Thanx for sharing :)...but its really tough to forget him... :(

gaynor 6 years ago

I found your advise very helpful, but what advise do your have for a break-up when there is kids involved? I have a son who is 19 months old and I'm also 5 months pregnant.

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Ristha: Agreed! You'll find happiness...just keep working at it :) No more toxic men!

swati01: Thank you for your comment. It is tough, I know. Allow yourself time and you WILL move on.

gaynor: Breakups with kids involved are definitely more complicated. So sorry to hear about your situation...your ex is likely still going to be in your life because of the kids, which I can imagine is incredibly difficult since you're not together anymore. But all I can say is that staying in a bad relationship (or one that simply doesn't work) isn't good for anyone involved, not even your children. Obviously real life is way more complex than advice on paper, but I'm sure your kids will always want you to be happy more than anything else (even staying with their father). Best of luck to you and thanks for stopping by!

lovesucks 6 years ago

I've been with my ex for 2 months. we were good, went out and all that until he talked about Sex. I didn't want him for sex i really just wanted him for who he was and all that. SO i didn't give it to him because i didn't want him to be in the relationship for only that matter and day by day he wasn't him self anymore. so i couldn't take it anymore and i broke up with him. a week later i told him i want him back and he said hes having fun without me and will never come back to me :(

I did try the whole journal writing and going to the mall shopping with friends to get him out of my head but its not working. Its been 2 1/2 and im still not over him. Do you have any other advice. help! :(

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

lovesucks: You need to stand up and pat yourself on the back for not giving in to your ex's demands! Good for you for saying no...I know how hard that must have been for you. Every time you think about wanting him back, think about him pressuring you for sex and how uncomfortable that was for you. You're better off without him!

Other than that, all you can do is keep your body and mind busy with activities. It'll take you a while to get over him--it's a natural process. Allow yourself time to go through it, even though it's hard sometimes. Focus on the good things in your life and you'll be ok :) Good luck to you!

:( C.B 6 years ago

Ok I my boyfriend dumped me Saturday and he said he couldn't be with me anymore and then he said his heart belonged to someone else.I knew he still loved his ex and he starts going back with her 1 minute after he dumped me.I was so hurt but I still love him and its weird HELP!!!!!

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Aw C.B, you don't want to be with someone who doesn't treasure you. You deserve a boyfriend who's able to give their heart completely to you. It'll get better...just give it time. Good luck!

Emory 6 years ago

This list was helpful.. Last week, he decided i was not his "person" after three years on and off and I feel empty, like I can't breathe. So I'm going to try and put these into action, thank you

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

So sorry to hear that Emory. I hope you feel better soon!

john McArthur 6 years ago

Mi nombre es JOHN MCARTHUR y yo quiero ser tu abogado

Cubby 6 years ago

Hi, my boyfriend broke up with me two months ago and after begging and begging I finally decided the only left to do is give him space. I started a blog to go through my story and would love some support or feedback through my journey. You can check it out here:



AmberSkiesz 6 years ago

This really helped me =] Laughter is the best medicine! When my boyfriend broke up with me yesterday I wasn't sad, but angry. So I ended up breaking things. But I read this after and I sat with my good friend and we made fun of him and laughed so much I cried from the laughter. I am over him already and I am glad to say I am moving on. =]

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Hola John! Gracias por su comentario. No tengo un abogado :)

Cubby: Thanks for stopping by. I wish you the best of luck in your journey, I'll check out your story!

AmberSkiesz: Glad to hear you're in the process of moving on. Sometimes you do have to get the anger out before you can get to the laughing part :) Thank you for commenting!

Mz sensen 6 years ago

i just broke up to my boyfriend weeks ago for cheating.he just move to boston.i feel like my world is over.i did remove everything to not remind me of him but he still hard for me.i cry a lot cause we were friend for 10years before we was dating,i feel like i lost my best friend.it's not easy to get over someone like that.

Allison 6 years ago

My boyfriend and I broke up about a week ago. I'm still fighting not to cry everyday..I want him to come back so bad and I don't even think he cares about me at all. Why do guys say they want to be with you forever when they don't? And hes already moved on and talking with his friends on facebook about having parties at his new apt. He was my first EVERYTHING and I just don't know how to get through this.

Affinity2010 profile image

Affinity2010 6 years ago from New Orleans, La

Excellent article, it's funny how the mind and heart keeps us hoping for something we had with an ex that was not so good, and can prevent us from moving on to something very beautiful. Even though I've grieved over love many times, it was refreshing when tomorrow finally did come and I felt very good about myself and the future, great advice. Voted Up.

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Mz sensen: What a tough situation to go through. Give yourself time to be upset...you deserve to be upset after what happened. It's not easy, but you will get to a point where every day you feel a little less sad. Better things will come in the future. Thanks for stopping by.

Allison: Here's one thing I've learned: actions DO speak louder than words. The words are nice, but it's a lot harder to live those words than to say them. Guys do sometimes say things they don't mean (for many reasons) and other times they change their minds, leaving us crushed and hurt. You will move on though...breakups simply mean there's someone out there who's even better for you. Best of luck to you.

Affinity2010: Thanks for your comment. So true...I couldn't have said it better myself!

MNCHICK 6 years ago

I was dating a guy for 4 years on and off. We went through a lot together, 3 deaths of our family members together, and so on. Our relationship went from 0-60 in about 4 months and I feel like that's what made our relationship so intense. As of 2 weeks ago, we called things quits for good. Just recently, thanks to the lovely world of Facebook, I saw that he's in a relationship...deleted all of the pictures of the two of us, and for some reason it Kills me.... LIke, KILLS me! I know facebook is so dumb, but it is killing me! I now vow to stay the heck away from his facebook profile!

hawa 6 years ago

my ex broke up with me 3 month ago by changing his number and stopped calling. Then a mnth later find out he is engaged to a woman he cheated on me with. Everytime i move on he will randomly call. Its like taking 2 steps forward and 5 steps back. I still am in love with him. So confused don't know what to do. Or why he keeps contacting me when he is engaged

ahhhhhh! 6 years ago

omgg i am hurting soo much i just CANT get over him and usually im not the type to get upset and cry over a guy.. i love him so much and i know he loves me too.. the worst part is that he never did anything wrong.. we both still want to be togeher but we cant because our families don't approve and what's the point of being together for longer getting even more attached and experiencing an even more painful break up later on .. right ?

queen 6 years ago

am married and having a realtion with a married man to we decided to be togther and we will get a divorice from our spouse so after 1 year and half he broke up with me with to reson and it 6 month now and am dying to be with him i cannt continue with my normal life coz i just see him infornt of me . i want to forget him and i don't know how?

Amy 6 years ago

Thanks for the advice! I'm going to give it a try :)In my previous break-up, the pain only hit me 2 months later! I'm trusting that won't happen this time

leelee* 6 years ago

breakups are extremely hard. My exbf nd i broke up 2 months ago nd i still cry about it. He was not only the best boyfriend i ever had but he was my best friend. Not now we don't talk after he told me we can still be friends.

Benny01 profile image

Benny01 6 years ago from Lagos, Nigeria

This is a great article, thanks for sharing this ideas.

Mel 6 years ago

Just broke up 2 weeks ago and my heart is so sore :(

tinaweha profile image

tinaweha 6 years ago from Seattle (and the world)

Trust me. I'm on my third marriage. There is more than one "soul mate" out there for you, baby. I'm just out trying to spread holiday cheer. Read the Rose's tips. If you need extra help or if you need to sing at the top of your lungs, click below


Merry Christmas and have a happy healthy New Year!

Samantha 6 years ago

I was with my ex for 4years and he cheated 3 times and i took him bk now hes left me for someone else he keeps coming to see me he want leave me alone he texts me all the time and he always talks about her i still love him i just don't know how to get over him i don't know how to stop the pain please help

ItsThatSimple profile image

ItsThatSimple 6 years ago from Florida

Great hub and ladies remember the internal struggle. Allow yourself to cry, grieve, and be angry for just a little while. Then learn from the relationship and recover with graciousness and gratitude! Find the love of your dreams!

Salzar 6 years ago

Thanks fr the awesome arcticle. My bf broke up with me two weeks ago but we keep texting like were still together even though he is with the girl he cheated on me with. This helped me to decide to not keep in contact with him and it is working well so far...

Nothando zulu 6 years ago

My boyfriend has been avoiding me,i'v been so confused.wondering what wrong?,what did i do to deserve this kind of treatment...

Phyllis 6 years ago

My hubby died in March of 09. I waited a year and started dating someone. We dated for nine months. Things were so weird i didn't understand sometimes. When we broke up he told me he was still married!! Now it all makes sense!!!

kawawa 6 years ago

I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years. He never cheated on me or anything. It was always a bunch of little things that made me mad. He would always put me last. I made a journal while I was with him and I wrote in it for a year and its filled with reasons why I shouldn't be with him, but I continued to stay because he told me he loved me and that he knew he was wrong and to just be patient with him because he's trying. But over and over again we fought constantly about the same things. I'm so hurt right now and I'm so mad at my self because we already broke up early in december and we hadn't talked until the 29th. He called me and we told each other we still missed and loved each other. I invited him to be with me and my friends for a new years eve event where I originally planned that it would be a fresh start without him. I bought a ticket for him and he ended up not going. I just wasted my time and money and now I feel so hurt all over again. I started to get rid of things that remind me of him but I can't... he bought me my alarm clock, tv, glasses, and make up brushes and so much more and I have no job right now so I can't replace any of it. I feel like such a mess.

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

MNCHICK: Facebook is evil for that reason! It's so easy to stalk your exes (I've done it too), which makes it even harder for you to move on. I understand completely why you're so upset...I hope you've been able to stay away from his Facebook. Thanks for your comment.

hawa: A friend of mine had a similar situation. Every time she'd start dating somebody new, her ex would call. The best advice I can give you is to stop taking his calls. If he can't reach you, it'll make it less fun for him to randomly jump back into your life, and it'll help you move on. Good luck!

ahhhh: That's a tough one, sorry to hear about your troubles. Getting more attached would hurt more in the end, yes. I guess it's up to you whether you want to risk it or not, knowing that your families will be upset if you continue to see each other. Hope you find some peace with the situation.

queen: Forgetting someone is hard and takes time. It's not the most original idea, but keeping yourself busy with other things, as well as trying not to think about him, tends to help. Thanks for commenting.

Amy: You're welcome! Pain is funny like that...it hits you at random times. Hope you feel better soon and thanks for stopping by.

leelee: They are hard. You'll feel better eventually though, just give it time. Best of luck to you!

Thanks Benny01 for your comment!

tinaweha: Great comment. Thanks for sharing...singing happy songs always makes me feel better!

Samantha: It's almost impossible to get over someone when they're still in your life. If you really want to get over him, you should cut off all contact with him. It'll help you heal. Things will get better for you, I know it :)

ItsThatSimple: Thanks for stopping by. Great advice!

Salzar: Good for you!

Nothando zulu: Only way to find out is to ask him! Thanks for your comment.

Phyllis: So sorry about the loss of your husband. I hope the next guy you date is better than the last! At the very least, not married! Best of luck to you.

kawawa: Sorry to hear that you're hurting so much. 5 years is a long time to be with someone, so give yourself plenty of time to hurt. Just remember that you chose to end the relationship for many reasons...stay strong. One day you'll feel better and get back to your normal self. Even the worst pain lessens with time. Until then, go have fun with your friends and do tons of nice things for yourself. And if all else fails, listen to the song "Don't Worry Be Happy" on repeat...it always makes me feel better.

Help 6 years ago

Am such a mess, I cheated on my boyfriend who i have been with for 4/5 years with my biss at work. I said no to him at first, cos i knew it was wrong but in the end i gave in. We had an affair for around 3/4 months and I planned to leave my boyfriend and start a new life with him. However rumours started at work and he wanted to cool things down for a while. After a few months the rumours had stopped and i still felt the same way about him but he kept saying its too risky to start anything up again as people are suspicious. Its now a year later and I have told him how I feel and that I want to be with him but he says he doesn't want to lead me on or give me false hope so he wont tell me how he feels or anything. Am such a mess i don't know if he likes me still or not. He tells me everything and flirts with me, rings me for hours upon end and txts me everyday. I know i need to pull away from him but i cant. what shall i do???

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Help- That is a messy situation. The bottom line with men is: If he wants to be with you, he will be. Since your boss isn't committing to you, he probably is leading you on (even though he said he didn't want to). Dating your boss is always a bad idea, especially if you want to keep your job, so I think pulling away from him is smart. Slowly pull away from any out-of-work contact...maybe try not responding to his texts or answering his phone calls and see what happens. Don't settle for somebody who doesn't fully respect you enough to commit to you. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

ian moone 6 years ago

ive also had a tough break up the girl said i was too complicated and i was too much drama actually the real drama is my friend she gets into our business all the time and she needs to stop but my girl cant accept that which is why we're apart i hate it but these tips will help alot thanks.

dolce 6 years ago

I am in love with my x stii and we have been broken up for over 7 month and the only reason we did break up is becoz his sick and i really do love him and he says his also in love with me and the reason he doesn't wanna be with me is that he doesn't wanna take me down with him..and i speak to him maybe once aweek coz if i don't i will worry to death ... but other ppl say if he really did love me he would want me there for support and he would of never broken up with me ... and they think its time i move on and i really am trying and i just cant keep him out of my head or away from my heart ..i trully do adore him to bits and if life wasc love i would give him mine :(

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hjade73 6 years ago

i am only 14 yrs old and i datedd this guy hes 16 we only datedd for 18 days but i reallly liked him he was pretty much my first reall boyfriend we meet over facebook and we talkedd and ended up datingg one day we meet at a wrestling match which was the first time we ever meet. and all of his friends were around and everything he was being a bit of a jerk like he didn't evenn walk me out when i had to leave. after that he started acting different and let his friend call me and ask me about "casual sex" i was pretty mad. i called him a jerk andd we were fightingg and i hate fighting with him so i said sorry and then he told me he doesn't want a realtionship and that he doesn't want to date anybody. I was sooooo upset thenn a after a few horrible days i sent him a messagee on facebook saying i miss him and he got online and never messaged back. WHAT DO I DO?

Tiffany 6 years ago

Well me and my ex has been off and on in a relationship for about 3 years and we have been split up for 9 months and believe it or not- I STILL MISS HIM. But ladies please, if you are facing the same situation or infact simular; By no means let him know you still care for him because it would boost up his head. I know you may be wondering what happen but its not a shock, THE BASTARD CHEATED!!!!LOL!!! And Because I loved him so much, I was always trying to work it out because I really wanted to be with him. At the same time it gave me more pain and heart ache until I just had to let it go because I really couldn't afford to waste another year of my life dealing with this so I broke up with him. It hurt him because he thought I would never leave him but ladies no matter how much you love your spouse they will continue to treat you this way if you let them. I know its going to hurt because it still hurts me,but don't go back to him- Thats why he's ex, because its in the past. Time for the future baby!!!!!! And after that, he will actually realize what he had was good but now its gone and he will miss it very much. He would also realize how much he really loved you and realize his mistakes. Ladies this is where it gets really hard-TRUST ME BC I HAD TO DO IT. He will come back to you but you have to be strong and say no.But I would advise you to also pray and ask GOD to help you get over him and give you the strengh to say no. Good Luck and wish you the best.........

krazygirl 6 years ago

I had dated my boyfriend for almost 4.5 years. He was 2 years older than me and I had broken up with him because I am terrified of commitment. I have seen horrible things in my family and vowed to never allow myself to be exposed to such horrible things again.

I vow to never marry, etc.

My boyfriend was prepared to marry me. At the end of our relationship I had even came comofrotable with the idea of marriage. We had been each ohters first for mostly everything and one day I had decided that I was going to break up with him. I was not happy for a while, although we had lived together, moved across the country with each other, etc. I was trying to complete my school and go somewhere in life and he was not a stable person (jobs, cars, goals, career outlooks...etc.) so I decided to break up with him to actually SEE if he was the one I wanted to be with.

I know it is horrible but it is myself pushing him away so I don't get hurt.

It has been 2 years since I broke up with him and I STILL cry myself to sleep a few nights a week. I dream about him constantly and am alwya comparing my current boyfriend (of 1.5 years) to him.

It is definitely a struggly but I need to learn to let go. His new girlfriend is completely nuts and will not allow him to talk to me. He always promised to be my best friend regardless and I feel like I have lost the one thing that truly mattered to me. I am scared I made the worst decision in my life and I can't go back .

6 years ago

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years and I think it's time to break up. It just hurts me to think about it but in the back of my head I kind of think it's the right thing to do. We went through a lot together and he helped me out with many issues. He became emotionally abusive and I never noticed it. He lives far away. I don't want to do this anymore but breaking up seems impossible. He met my entire family and we almost got married. I don't know what to do. How do I work through this?

jay 6 years ago

i too have a hard time getting over ma ex boyfriend.his my 1st love 4yrs of dating then he cheats.but am so positive that some day i will let him go.

6 years ago

So he broke up with me. He said I didn't do well in school, became too clingy and didn't have my own life. All of which are probably true to an extent. I feel terrible and I cry a lot. I try to pretend that this break up isn't real but it is very real. He does not want me back. I hope all of this gets better soon.

Cinderluv 6 years ago

Geez, thank you, dear poster! I like your logic cos it works like magic... Just helped me get over a guy I've been thinking about so much lately. We weren't really steady, like he was a chameleon that kept blowing hot and cold... But thank God I came across this site. At least, now I can move on freely with my life without dragging some unnecessary baggage along!

Claire  6 years ago

Split up from my bloke at Christmas hes 10yrs younger and i just got fed up with his ways so i called the shots and as soon as i did it i wanted him back. I begged him and i got him back now hes so different with me and i have lost all my confidence and feel so insecure. Any advice. He lives far away and is in the army so due on tour soon as well. I know hes not good for me but i cant bare to break up with him

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 6 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

hjade73: Sounds like he's being a typical teenage boy...they tend to be all over the place with their feelings. I wouldn't worry about it too much. If it doesn't work out with him, there are other boys out there for you. Have fun and focus on yourself!

Miss.Lovely: It was the right thing to do if he wasn't treating you right. Never settle for anything less than what you deserve.

M: It will get better soon. It sounds like breaking up is best for both of you. Nobody deserves a boyfriend that's emotionally abusive...better men are out there for you. Best of luck to you, hang in there.

Claire: Have faith that there's someone out there who's better for you. I promise you there is! Don't settle for this guy who isn't good for you...get your confidence back and break up with him. You gotta take care of yourself first and foremost. Be strong!

6 years ago

I'm starting to feel how I did last week. I thought this would not come back but it did. There are tears in my eyes but I cannot let them fall. not again. not this time. I know that there are better people in this world. I know there are people who will not make me feel so terrible about myself.

Yesterday was the first day I decided to start weight training. I will go again today. I came to the library to study but I cannot right now. I might have to go now. "What an asshole, what an asshole..." I keep thinking to myself but this does not bring calmness. It makes me angry. regret.

Each day I have to wake up and tell myself that I CAN get through it alone and I CAN do whatever I want without him, without anyone. I KNOW this is true and the day that I don't have to remind myself of this anymore, is when it will be over. It will be the day that I am completely free of him. I wait for that day. I want it to be today. Soon enough, it will be here and I will be free once again.

Nicole 6 years ago

How do you get over him, and still remain friends through the process ?

Lilgem 6 years ago

Hi, I broke up with my bf, cause I didn't trust him, he flirted with other girls and I didn't no what he was up to when he went out. I'm not sure if he cheated on me or not. When we broke up he wasn't that bothered and didn't try stop me leaving. I don't think he loved me, but I cant stop thinkin did I do the right thing. I really miss him, but I want to forget him and get over him.

Liz 6 years ago

I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 months 7 weeks ago I found out he kissed a girl when he was drunk, after asking him if anything was going on between him n her because I was suspicious. What made it worse is that before they kissed, me and the girl were becoming cool and she was even giving me relationship advice(what a bitch). He told me not to talk to her anymore because she is the biggest slag on campus. My campus is very small and we have alot of mutual friends and they tell me that he's always with her. Since we broke up hes begged n apologised said he says he loves me, misses me etc but I told him to cut her off and he aint, so I wasn't interested knowing da side chick was still in his life. So now he's stopped begging n I saw him the other day in the club and he left with her. I just don't understand how he could be seeing the same girl that broke us up, so openly, I think he's tryna make me jealous and its working. I still call him and text him cuz I still love him. I have hope that we can work things out but at the same time I know I deserve better cuz I was 100% loyal to him. Its very hard to ignore him because we go to the same uni, he lives across the road from me and we go to the same gym. I want him back and I have hope we can work things out with time or should I just forget about it n move on knowing that I still love him?

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 5 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

M: You're on the right track. Don't beat yourself up if you start feeling badly again. Like you said, soon enough will come a day when you don't think about him anymore. Keep at it!

Nicole: Remaining friends is tough after a breakup...maybe taking a break from each other to get over the hurt, then talking again once you're both over it might work. Best of luck to you.

Lilgem: Sorry to hear about your troubles. Hope things get better for you in the future!

Liz: What a tough situation. I think you answered your own question in what you wrote when you said "I know I deserve better." Don't settle for less than what you deserve! There is someone out there who will treat you better...have faith that you will find him.

ex boyfriend 5 years ago

I think its the days and weeks right after that are the hardest. Tough to look at the phone and see he hasn't called. Hard not to think about it...

Sweet and Lowdown 5 years ago

I've was with my bf for 4 and 1/2 yrs when i first found out he was cheating with this girl he works with. We used to live together, but he moved back home over an hour away, so it was a long-distance relationship, and he doesn't drive. He begged me to take him back, and i did. I gave him so many chances. For Valentine's Day, he decided to move in with her and I had no idea b/c he kept talking to me saying how he wanted to be with me and acted like nothing was wrong...etc. so i had no idea. he has been going back and forth btwn me and her for 2 yrs now. we listen to all the same music, and i saw them at a concert recently. he used to be really supportive and give good advice, and we got thru a lot of hard times together. But the hardest part is not talking to him everyday, or getting text messages each morning. We had so much in common and he knew how to make me laugh. I just feel like I'll never find that with anyone else...

sky 5 years ago

i kept all of her stuffs in a box, change my number, wrote lots of small notes and stick them on my bedroom wall telling me i should move on, she's not the one for me and im far better of without her. I avoid going places where we used to hang out, i stop meeting our friends and i haven't see her for more than 60 days. I thought i have moved on but ...helll..no...i have not even make a step. I hate it sooo much. I just hate myself for allowing her to come into my life. she destroyed me.

Vivian 5 years ago

I believe that with patience all will work out... I believe that soon a kind loving man will sweep me off my feet and we will get married and have a prosperous and content life... However, in order to reach the latter, I need to let go of my thoughts from the past... Here's the dilemma:

I dated my boss who was absolutely wonderful... He treated me with the utmost respect and he never approached me without me indicating I wanted him. Later on I find out that he is courting another lady (who happens to me someone I just got close to)... and she kept telling me how wonderful he is, etc. Everything she told me I've been gyrating in my thoughts on and off. I wake up thinking of my boss and her intimate with one another... Before she told me about him, I already broke up with him, so I never got a chance to confront him about her, and I don't think I ever should since he is my boss, he is double my age, and as a boss he is great. But I just can't get him out of my mind. I really like him, but I know that he is not the right one for me this is why I broke it off with him. But it still hurts to know this friend of mine is with him. My question is: How do I get over a man that I respect as a boss, I love my job, and I see him every day at work, and have to interact with him? I also like him, he was always honest with me, we never had an exclusive relationship, so its difficult to dislike him... Please help me, I am going mad, its been 5months, and I am still not over him!!

Amanda 5 years ago

Thax 4 da tips but its hard 4 me coz im the one who dumped him n now i feel like going to hm n beg,coz i now regret what i did/said! Wat should i do?

Sydney Brown 5 years ago

Thanks!! Me and my ex brokeup and now he has a new girlfriend, but only about a week earlier he wanted me back. Ugh, but thanks to your article I realized how stupid he was! Thanks:)

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 5 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Glad I could help, Sydney! Thanks for stopping by.

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 5 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Amanda, that's tough. If you really regret breaking up with him, you could try talking to him and seeing if he'll take you back. He might be hurt by the break up, so don't be surprised if he doesn't quite have the reaction you're hoping for. Give him some time to think about it. Good luck to you!

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 5 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Sky, give yourself time to heal. Sometimes it takes a long time to get over someone. Allow yourself to go through the process and you'll find that one day, you're not thinking about her anymore. It'll happen. It just takes time (which is annoying, I know). Do something fun for yourself soon. Best of luck to you.

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 5 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Vivian- yikes. That's quite a pickle you've gotten yourself in. Being romantic with your boss can very quickly turn into an awkward work situation. If you want to keep your job, keep personal feelings out of work. Try to just focus on work, which may help you get over your boss. Good luck and thanks for your comment!

kiddoc88 5 years ago

I can't put my bed away..

phiphi profile image

phiphi 5 years ago from USA

Awesome i really like it Vote up + awesome

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 5 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

kiddoc88: I'm sure you wish you could! Obviously the "putting things away" suggestion has its limits. You CAN, however, make your bed look different: buy new sheets or a new bedspread...pick a new color scheme. Or if you're on a budget, how about buying some new decorative pillows? It's all about making objects not remind you of your ex anymore. Thanks for stopping by!

Thanks phiphi! I appreciate it :)

Munchkennina 5 years ago

I don't think this will help me only because well here it is: I'm a teenager and he was my very first boyfriend we only dated for a month but we did EVERYTHING together! Then one day out of the blue he just stopped talking to me and avoided me. 3 days later he broke up with me and I just don't understand? So now it's been a week but I just can't forget about him. He's in two of my classes and has decided that my friends are now his friends so he sits with us all the time and talks with us so it's impossible for me to stay away from him! I just don't know what to do bacause I know I should get over him and all my friends are saying I should hate him (they are saying things to make me realize how much of a jerk he is) but inside I feel like I shouldn't hold it against him for the fact that he wanted to break up? And I just can't bring myself to be mad about all of this and to hate him because I still care for him and I still like him :( Please help me!

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 5 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Munchkennina, teenage boys tend to be flakey. In fact, some of them never outgrow that and continue to be flakey adults who break up with girls out of the blue! If you're having trouble getting over him with him being around your friends all the time, maybe try telling him how you feel. Ask him to give you some distance so you can get over him and get to the point where you two can be friends (if you want that). Take the time to get over him though. If he doesn't want to be with you, don't waste your time on him! There will be other boys :) good luck and thanks for commenting!

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getoveryourextips 5 years ago from Sydney

great hub. i was devastated after my breakup 5 years ago. i could really have done with some decent advice

Christal Perez 5 years ago

Just lost the first love of my life...the person who told me he would not leave me no matter what, and he wanted to be with me forever, and we were going to have kids and we were going to get married and move to new york city in 2 years. And because of a little argument, he got really mad and I apologized so many times and he gave me indifference, the following day, we broke up. I am devastated.

HeBrokeUpWithMeViaTextBeforeOurMonthAVersary 5 years ago

Ok so he was the guy of my dreams for a year. and finally over the summer right after his and my bday he txts me (i didn't give him my # and haven't seen him since school ended) and is all flirty. the next day he gets it out of me that i really like liked him. (my neighbor aka his bff who asked me out prior and i turned him down told me 2 watch out for him) then he says he feels the same way and calls me bc "over txts is dumb"


his last remaining grandmother had just died a couple days before and he txts me saying that he has crap at home and since hes a year above me he wont be able 2 c me much but when i go to the school he is he"ll be happy to date me. well i said a good bf would make time and im not gonna wait a year for a guy even tho i thought he was perfect. we fight but in the end i become the bigger person and leave him alone and say we can still be friends. I didn't even cry i was so numb. Then i wrote a really good poem (later to be a song.) it really helped me feel over him. but a little more than a week after i heard "Take A Bow" by Rihanna and i broke down crying. Even though i don't think he cheated it really made me feel..

Now he wont text me and i feel hated. He texts my neighbor and other people ik for a fact and i want 2 txt him.. should i?

Hazel 5 years ago

I brak up wth my boyfriend last 3 mnths ago. We dated for 5yrs, our relationship ws lovly bt my family didn't alow me 2 date him coz he ws older dan me. So dey ddn't alow it. He ws planning 2 pay 4 lobolo bt he culdn't coz my family ddn't want him. Now we cal each ada, laugh 2geda. So i dnt knw is it a gud thing 4 us.

babylove 5 years ago

M. Rose Ive read so many of your stories on here and its heart breaking. but I am going through it too. I dated my ex for over a year and he had me believe we were in love. well over that year he cheated and i took him back and so on and so on. now i'm 3 months pregnant and I want to end it for my sake and the babys. He says he changes but I catch his lies please give me advice to stay strong

Lilly 5 years ago

This has work alot thanks m rose im always sayin how much I need help thank u ur such a help :) I was sad before now im done bein sad now im a happy camper

Lakin 5 years ago

I need help getting over my Ex boyfriend I want to get over him and date this other guy but i cant because i love him so much and I just cant stand the thought of me bing with anyone else besides him and my EX has already movied on and got another girlfriend and it has made me cry and stuff like that i just need help getting over it and my friends try and help but they don't no wat to tell me so please help me i need it so much

acy 5 years ago

I recently broke up with my ex even though we've been together for 3 years the last half of the relationship was mostly me being understanding and trying to communicate to him in every way while he on the other hand neglected me now that i have finally decided to leave him and i have been seeing this other guy until now but for the past 2 months he has been communicating to me i feel stuck who will i go for ?

edy 5 years ago

I also need help. :'( its been 2 years now. And I'm still not over my ex. He's my first love, so I.know its even harder. I have days where I feel like I'm over him. But then other days where I just can't live without him. It's tearing me apart. I'm depressed over this all. I know me and him will never get back together. O.just need help in accepting it. Please help me :'(

guest 5 years ago



M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 5 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

babylove: What a terrible situation. You deserve better than someone who lies to you though. Children make relationships way more complicated, but I'd say you're probably better off ending it with him rather than continuing in a negative relationship. Best of luck to you.

Lakin: Don't start dating again until you're ready. Give yourself time, it's the best healer.

edy: First loves are always the hardest to get over. I understand how easy it is to be irrational about first loves and wish you would get back together, even though you know it's never going to happen. The best you can do is move on. When you find someone new that you like, you won't think about your ex so much. Good luck!

Loo-Loo 5 years ago

I've recently broken up with my boyfriend of two years. It was my decision, and i belive it was the right choice. He lied to me time and time again, and when i found out about it he would break down, cry, beg me to forgive him and promise he wouldn't do it again. But of course he did. many, many times. When I did break up with him, he told me he was going to kill himself, which was very difficult to deal with, and without the support of some good friends i really don't know what would have happened. He still tell

Dani 5 years ago

I just broke up with a boyfriend of two years. When we met I couldn't even communicate in his language (spanish) and he couldn't speak English. I lived in London, him in Barcelona. 2 years down the line, I live in Spain and speak Spanish fluently, I have a good job, nice friends. I changed everything for him ( and for myself also), I have done everything in my power to make it work and he didn't have to change a single thing. He has a serious anger management problem which has hugely affected my self esteem and I easily get upset especially when we argue and he starts saying horrible things to me. He sees my tears as a weakness and often gets even nastier. Once when I told him I wasn't feeling happy, he kicked me out of his flat, even though I had nowehere to go. I forgave him. I felt like walking on egg shells when being with him, we broke up many times before as I couldn't handle how he treated me, swore at me, called me names. Yet I always forgave him and took him back. I felt ignored and very lonely in that relationship. I still love him, but I know this is not the guy for me and does not make me happy. However, when I hear his voice something breaks in me and I want to see him again, I want to be with him hoping everything will be better this time.. yet it never is. I know I should not get back with him as our arguments destroy me.. but I worry I will get back with him. I'm 27 and I don't want to waste any more time being with someone like that. I know I need to be strong but when I see him I forget everything bad and just think of how much I love him. Please help.

hippychick15182 5 years ago

I broke up with my ex 11 years ago, He's still on my mind - he was my childhood sweetheart. we were together 5 years, I was 13 when I met him and we broke up when I was 18. It took me a while and i did think I was over him. but i met him recently, and the spark is still there. And now I can't stop thinking about him.

I'm married to a wonderful man now, and we have 2 great kids, and he is also married to someone and he also has a child. I know we can never be together, but I can't help thinking "what, ifs, and maybes"

Please help!

PRINCESS 5 years ago


Girlie 5 years ago

I broke up with my first love in school, because the long distance relationship did not work for me. Now we are both married with children, but lately I can't seem to get him out of my head, I want to be with him so badly, it actually hurts. What can I do? I don't even know if he feels the same way. I find myself looking at his facebook profile everyday?

Someone 5 years ago

My ex boyfriend broke up with me because he felt indifferent to the relationship. He said he wasn't invested in it, and wasn't in love with me like he'd thought he was. He also said he loves me as a friend and hopes we can have a friendship. I had begged him to come back through email, through phone, and nothing worked. So I agreed to be friends with him but that it wouldn't happen for a very long time. He said he respected that. But... over the next few days I started getting angry at him. I started to realize that he wasn't the person I'd thought he was, because that person would never have left me. I sent him a note telling him this, telling him that I was angry, and that the chances of us remaining friends was slim. However now... I'm starting to accept that we were not meant to be lovers. But he will always be someone I care about. And I'm kind of regretting sending him that message. I want to send him another one saying nevermind, we can be friends in the future... but I don't want to seem bipolar. What can I do?

Sanny 5 years ago

I was in love with a guy which he was in sweden for a year, and we didn't see each other till now, but last year he broke up with me, i was desprate and cried every single day for more than 3months...our bond was so strong! then i met a guy on the internet, i told him my story then he became my best friend and after not such long time, my first lover, i did everything for this guy, bought him presents, called him everyday and we had arguments over stupid things but i was fine...at first he begged me not to leave him, and i got interested in him more and more, and forgot my first love...then i realized from some of his friend that hed been cheating on me for a long time, i know i was kinda dying but then i went to his city and saw him for the firt time, weve got lovely hours togather, but he broke up with me after that, with such stupid reasons...i didn't know what to do, it was second time and i was getting crazy, after 3monthes he came back but i refused to be with him, and till now he says that he never had girfriend during our relationeship which i know its a fat big lie,. anyway we were on/off boyfriend girfriend, till last month that i asked him to be with me again, after all miserable time i loved him so much, but he said he wants me as a friend... i understood he wanted me to be with him, when a time he wants to be with me, he could, like a doormat...after more than 2month im still thinkin about him but never gonna turn to him again,,, ur advise helped me alot, but now do u think these emotinosal feelings are normal or what??? plz help on this...

P/S: in this 1 and half month ive got so happy and i kinda had a good life with my friends and family:)

Tina 5 years ago

I think I'm still on the eating lots of ice cream and sleeping too much part. Thanks for the suggestions. I'm gonna start trying those!

talo_flower 5 years ago

My boyfriend (ex now) broke up with me about a month ago after 4 months. he always say he wanted to marry me and settle down after he got out of the marines. last tuesday night, the night before i had a huuge test for school, he told me to delete his number and get out of his life because he doesn't want to be "just friend" because he's still in love with me.

his words still hurt but i've been hanging with my guy friends (whom i haven't been able to spend time with because i was dating him) and they've helped me keep my mind off it. unfortunately my best friend is in love with my ex's best friend so she's always bringing both of them up, even though i've told her flat out i do not want them mentioned.

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ellebelly25 5 years ago


Im 23. My boyfriend (My first love and first everyting) and I of 6 years went on a break a few months ago.. which turned into a break up. I felt as if i needed him to decide what he wanted from our relationship because all he was doing was saying this and that then saying something else the next day. i felt like i was being messed around waiting for him to decide whether he wanted me or not. So after about two months of the break in which we still talked nearly everyday etc.. but only met up twice, we finally meet up and since he wasn't changing his old ways by trying to get a job or stop smoking weed, we mutually decided toi break up for a while but it had an air of temporary to it like we would be getting back together in few months. Then i decided to send him a blunt no contact message to take back some control basically saying i agreed with the break up and it was the best for both of us, i figured this would reveal his true feelings for me.. and boy did it.

2 months later i found out, he had started meeting the girl that he had kissed and been texting from last year. He was too much of a coward to tell me himself. When that happened last year i was so unbelievably hurt and it literally took me nearly a year to forgive him and start to trust him again. And then i find out he has been meeting her and started meeting her after only roughly 3 weeks of not talking to me. im beyond hurt that he could do this me knowing the pain and suffering she caused me last year and what our relationship went through. I never thought in a million years he could do this to me.. I stood by him when he was in jail, i even went against my parents wishes and dated him behind their backs.

I was 100% sure we would be getting back together and he knew by doing this that it was the end of us for good.

When i find out i rang him and he kept saying sorry and that she was a rebound and meant nothing to him and that i was his one true love.. blah blah blah. He said he would finish it with her and for some reason felt the need to call over to her house to do this.. he respects her that much after only a few weeks. (I should say before i sent the no contact message i told him if i even hear he was talking to her on a night out, i would spit in his face and he said he would never do that to me because he knows what it would do to me) I would never spit in anyones face but thats how much it would hurt me and he knew that.

So anyway, i don't hear from him for a full 24 hours, i know in my heart he didn't break up with her. Then the next day i get a message off him saying i have to let him go, goodbye and all this rubbish... I get a message after 6 years and yet he calls out to her house after a few weeks to end it..

Then i ring him and he is a complete a**hole, says really mean stuff to me like if it taked me to keep meeting her for you to get over me then thats what ill do, and that most of the years we were together were sh*t. I was completely devastated he could be that cruel after all i have done for him. I text him nicely a couple hours later don't ask me why.. and he says he didn't mean any of that stuff he just wanted me to tell him F*ck off so i could let him go. How mature of him.. Then basically he says he doesn't know why he did what he did and its unfixable and unforgivable. then i say u never know in a few years, we might get back together and he sayd ya if u can forgive me and i say time heals all wounds. I don't know why i said any of this, think i was just over-hurt.

He doesn't contact me the next day.. The day after i find out he was hanging out with this girl in public around our town, to me he had made it sound like nothing but it was obviously more than using her for sex. I snapped, rang him and asked him if it was true, he hung up on me. I text him and basically told him to F*ck off because he just lost the best thing he had in his life forever and that if i hear he is still with her i know he has not one ounce of respect for me. He replied saying he knew he had lost it forever and goodbye. that was it.

Then this morning i found out, they are still meeting each other. My friend seen his car outside her house this morning. He makes me physically sick that he can look her in the eyes, touch her, kiss her, have sex with her.. knowing what it put me through last year. its disturbing, i don't know who he is anymore, a heartless stranger. Iv never felt this hurt and betrayed in my life. He can replace me so easy within weeks and with her. I cant bear the thought of touching another man but he can share a bed with her now. I feel ill. Im so hurt and feel embarrassed because everyone in the town knew before me again. I cant believe after everything he said on the phone like he couldn't believe he had done this to me again and what he did was so wrong and he knew now how much he hurt me.. he is STILL meeting her. His words clearly meant nothing. he obviously has feelings for her and is putting a few weeks with her over 6 years with me. He ended our relationship in the cruelest way possible beacause he knew by being with her, that was us finished for good.. he does not respect me or my feelings or the relationship we had. How can someone you loved and who loved you be capable of such an ultimate betrayal?????????

kyley 5 years ago

i don't know if it will work we have been off and on and i hate the fact that he wont take me back :(

lilz22 5 years ago

I talk about the.same things on my new blog post check it out http://welpthatsthat.wordpress.com/2011/10/28/oh-m... Maybe i can help you.

Jelly 5 years ago

My ex broke up with me a year and five months ago we see and talk once in a while,which just hurts my heart because after we broke up I realized how much I love him. I wish he would come back to me butt I know it will never happen

5 years ago

Hey, i just broke up with my ex boyfriend last 2 months, we're in th same school .. We still contact with each other till now, he did say to me that he love me . But, on his facebook, many girls post love, baby, and others . I just cant get over him, he make me cried almost everyday ? He slack with me and my friends, where ever i go i always see his face . Help me /:

Dani 5 years ago

Hi Girls

I posted here exactly 4 weeks ago when I broke up with my ex. A month has gone by.. it was hard. I had sex with him once ever since, a drunken stupid thing.. since then I felt awful. I spoke to him today and decided we need to end it once and for all. Its going to be tough but it will be for good. We all need to be strong. Just think of all the bad things instad of glorifying him, think of all the moments you were unhappy.. then think why this is so much better long term to be happy solo then unhappy with someone else.. im just speaking from my mind now. I spoke to him, I know where I stand. There is no going back. Its time to move on and be open to new possibilities and beginnings. Everything happens for a reason. I believe this immensly. I wish you all best of luck with the break up phase, you can all do it, believe in yourself, look at the good things in life, see friends, be positive. We all have one life and its best not to waste it with someone who is not worth it.



Amy 5 years ago

Girls !! you know what ? I broke up since one year and two months , and my story was too hurtful too , because Im from an eastern country and the kind of being for one man , without sex , but its love and hard love , the beautiful thing here is that I can find many girls like me , and I feel Im not alone , that a reason to be strong , and to forget about him , espacially when i call him he talk to me in a very mean way , and many times he dismissed me , and asked not to call any more .

I thank all of you for putting your stories , I feel theres very few men are really men !!

issy 5 years ago


I have been with my ex since the age of 15 and ended my relationship with him when i was 19. it's been 2 years roughly since we broke up... I changed my number and he got hold of my number and was in contact with me again...

I only left him as I felt it was wrong to date him behind my parents back as they won't approve him..

I broke up with him by text as everytime we mentioned breaking up face2face he would be upset and we'd both cry and say we couldn't be without eachother.. :( this was back in school days..

neway since we broke up we have been textings and calling occasionally... we linked up for this first time since our brake up.. was really awkward seeing him.. i apolised to him about braking up by text..

we both just gave a frirnedly hug.. he went abroad and come back after 2 months.. we linked up for 2nd time.. he bought me gift.. was really nice seeing him.. we just chatted.. since that day... he hasn't been in contact with me.. i texted him.. and he said his mind wasn't in the right place.. i think he may have got other stuff on his plate..

i was just wondering if you think he may still want to be with me? i want to ask him out.. but feel wrong to as i was the first one to brake up with him..

i makes me feel special.. I have tried to get over him.. i did think i was during college days.. now im at uni.. always thinking about him.. ive not been dating since our brake up.. and same for him.. when i last saw him i could just tell by looking at him eyes there maybe something there.. do you think he would have got over me by now?? thanks

ribbon 5 years ago

my boyfriend just broke up with me. We had been together for only 8 months but they seriously were the best 8 months in my life. He suffered from paranoia. We were in a perfect relationship he was amazing to me! We'd spend every day together laughing, being happy and what not. Because his very paranoid as much as i loved to spend everyday with him i really needed a night with my friends. He broke up with me for going out for one night. He says he cant trust me! We were so perfect everyday! He wont speak to me i just don't know what to do

Jennifer 5 years ago

i broke up with my ex since 8 months ago .

he's the one who breaks up with me , cause i couldn't care of him for many reasons . But inside of my heart i love him so much and till now . We both still talk to each other , & also care more than before . But still we cant back to each other . I cant stop checking about him everyday cause i really realized how i was so stupid to lose him , without feeling that what im doing is wrong .

And whenever i talk to any new guy i always try to forget him but it just that i can't cause he really was everything in my life . But what makes me sad that after all the bad things i did , he still talking and caring about me and we do really respect each other so bad .

I wish if i could tell him why i did all that , and that i still love him so much . But im afraid that he'll ignore me or i'll even lose him , that's why i don't wanna take this wrong step so fast .. But i really do hope if we could back again to each other and that's my only wish :)

Jellybeans 5 years ago

I met my ex at drama club and we fell in luv. I was 16 and he was 17! He broke up with me cause he said he was gay! I felt so depressed that I called him names on Twitter and blocked him. I realised he went out with another girl that we both know from drama! He blocked me on Facebook cause he told me that I was stalking him and not very nice to this girl that I was just asking was she going out with him for a wonder? I unfortunately see him like today he is doing our school Musical 7 brides for 7 brothers and he is meant to do his LC! Such a sad sack who doesn't know how to be a better friend after a relationship just like my brother and his ex are really best friends! He's everywhere and still ignoring me! We have this show tonight and it's gonna be a disater! :'(

Samantha 5 years ago

the trying to avoid him part cant really happen cause i see him everyday at school and everytime he sees me he wants to "talk" about what happen and i really don't want to anymore i just want to get forget him but its impossible when he calls and txts me wanting to get back.

Tashh 5 years ago


My ex and I broke up 3 weeks ago, we've spoken everyday since, even slept together.. His picked me up from a party where I was in no state to drive, to which he dropped me of at my dads and STAYED THE NIGHT!! No, he didn't sleep on the couch, but in bed with me, and everything is so confusing. He was figitiy and actually asked to hug me.. I really don't understand what his playing at.. I found out that after one day last week when we hooked up, he up with some girl. I hate break ups, I want him back, but at the same time I know what I can be, and I know that one day, soon. He'll see me and regret leaving me.

Suzana 5 years ago

:( :( :(

Kail 5 years ago

my boyfriend broke up with me because "I was just a little virgin" and " I'm not the right girl for him" We had only been dating a week but it still hurt because he did it in a text.

Broken_Hearted_Angel 5 years ago

My boyfriend broke up with me for my ex bestfriend . He says sorry everytime I run into him(which is not frequently) but I ignore him . I fell for him and thought he was the type of guy you could fall for . Sadly, I was mistakenly wrong. He was and I think still is my BestFriend . All of my friends are his friends too . I don't really have a lot of reliable girlfriends. So I'm in a situation that for me seems impossible to get over him. Please help me . I've already visited 13 different sites and tried all the advice I could get. Please help!

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chermatic 5 years ago

hey my name is crystal..and its been like two weeks since i broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years...im so afraid!it feels like i'll never stop missing him.Because of who i am,b4 i even read this blog i was already following all of your rules.my story is tht, this guy refuses to break up with his girlfriend because he says tht he dosent have a house of his own and he isn't making enough money to take care of me like he wants to.i told him tht i dnt care about money and i'll b out of school within 2 years so tht i can start working but he dosent listen. i know i know!he must think tht im stupid to fall for such a dumb excuse! anyways i just rlly want to stop wanting him:[

Amber 5 years ago

I just read this I'll try all of these things... the only bad part is I have his name tatto'd on me! I see it everyday..

HuggaTree 5 years ago

Hi me and my ex broke up 5 days ago because it was getting too awkward and we couldn't talke face to face at all. so we agreed that it was the best thing to break up so we did! we kissed and hugged before and it was great but now we've broken up I still feel like I can't get him off of my mind......... and also he's gonna ask my friend Kate out but he asked me first if it was OK because he thought it would be a bit harsh on me, I said yeah that's fine it's your decision :D and he said I'm glad you took it so well :D. so I'm really happy for him and Kate cuz there gonna start going out tomorrow and I'm really excited for them and stuff but I can't get him off of my mind.........……… please help me?????

Caramel.toffee1994@live.com 5 years ago

I can't thank you enough for sharing this .

Victoria 5 years ago

I came home from work last night to an empty apartment. My bastard of a boyfriend took everything and left only a few of my belongings. TV, couch, chair, kitchen table, coffee table, bed, etc. I came home to nothing; I thought we had been robbed. I guess that's his smooth way of getting rid of me. Now i'm living at my parents place until I get back on my feet again. I left a nice message with lipstick on the mirror...F*CK YOU!

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 5 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Sorry all...I've gotten so behind on comments, I'm just going to respond to the ones from the past month or so.

ellebelly25: He sounds immature and selfish. Bad combo :( Hope you can stay away from such a hurtful person. You deserve better.

N: It helps to break off contact. Try to see him as little as possible, it'll help you get over him. And defriend him on Facebook...the last thing you need to see is other girls commenting on his page. Good luck to you.

Dani & Amy: Thanks for sharing your stories about moving on. Hope they help some people on here. And I agree...a lot of men don't act like men!

issy: You won't know if he wants to get back together unless you ask him. Go for it! You've kept in contact a bit, so it won't be completely weird. Good luck!

ribbon: If he's having his own personal issues, you need to give him time to sort those out. Just know it's not your fault. If he needs space, give him space. If he wants your support later, you can be there for him.

Samantha: If it's really bothering you, block his number. Delete his texts. Don't answer his calls. Don't be nice on his account if it hurts you. Put yourself first :)

Tashh: Sounds like he's playing games with you. You deserve better!

Kail: That's horrible. You deserve better than that, and don't ever let anyone convince you otherwise.

Broken_Hearted_Angel: Wow that's a tough awkward situation. Honestly, time is the best healer. Give yourself time to deal with everything and you'll find yourself moving on one day.

chermatic: Hun, it's only been 2 weeks. Give it time...especially when you were in a relationship for so long, it's going to take you time to move on.

Amber: Yikes...time to start saving up for tattoo removal! Ladies, don't ever get a guy's name tattooed on you! It's always a mistake!

HuggaTree: I think it's normal that you're thinking about him. Just remember that you broke up for a reason and focus on yourself. Do fun things with your friends, have a girls night!

Victoria: How horrible...hope you get back on your feet soon. Stay strong!

theresa 5 years ago

thank you for encouragement i felt from here^_^ the truth is I really love my ex... but he cant get over with his mistakes, i already told him what's wrong with him many times but no changes at all and then i realize he don't have a plan to change just for the sake of our relationship,,i cant take it anymore,our relationship seems not working at all ,his a damn "cheater".So sad that he keep his words that his not lying that he love me which is not true..he make me fool!!ginagawa nya akong tanga.so bad!!! 4x is enough I cant take his mistakes anymore...I wanna love myself by losing him,,He don't deserve me...shit!!I HATE HIM!!

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WonderWoman19 5 years ago

Hi I hope you answer my comment, or response. I have been dating this guy for about a year and a half. We broke up 2 days ago. I mean he didn't quite say anything but he doesn't answer any of my calls or texts. Anyways, he had been talking to his ex girlfriends behind my back. He had called one "his wife" at 2 am through text. He's lied to me about 4 times. He talks to other girls but says he doesn't do anything. He changed, but then he would hide things from me. He just lied to me last week about not calling that girl "his wife" he had blamed it on his best friend. 2 days ago(earlier before the break up) he said he was going to take care of me. He was going to take care of me and my son(not his) he said that we are his family. We are going to get married and have kids. I haven't eaten anything for 3 days. I have called him about 200 times in 2 days, and no text, no calls. He says we argue too much but how am I suppose to forget what he had done? Idk what to do. I was suppose to see him this coming weekend but he said "he couldn't bring me back home"(we are long distance) please help me. He's my second love after my son's dad.

Biseng Lomuhle 5 years ago

Thank you guys this real helped me... am so over my ex, no more crying

nj 5 years ago

its been 2 months and i still cnt get over him,its an awful story would like to share it wiz any1 cuse i feel bad may be if i will share it wiz u all i will feel better and any one cn tell me wht can i do abt it?

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 5 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

WonderWoman19: Yikes. That's definitely a complicated situation. Here's what I think: You can't trust guys that lie to you, especially if they lie so nonchalantly like it's no big deal. If he has to hide things from you, he's not being honest. AND if he wasn't doing anything wrong, he wouldn't feel the need to lie to you. I don't know, sounds like sketchy behavior to me. I'd confront him about his lying. Good luck to you.

nj: Share your story...that's what these comments are for :) Hope you feel better soon.

subrina 5 years ago

hey i have been in love with a guy for about 8 months now...he is n type of guy that like to have plenty gurls..he told me hez madly in love with me..he would tried to rule me sometimes,tell me who to talk to or where to go which i dont like..this is d third time im breakin up wid him..everytime we wud fight n break up n make up back n i just wanna get over him.everytime we break up he would go with an other gurl n after n time he would come back to me n ask me for another chance and he would tell me how much he loves me.although we break up he still text me..which makes me keep thinkin of him plenty..i still love him very much ..i wanna get over him.....any advise????

sam 5 years ago

i been with my ex for 3 years and we broke up last month because we argue to much. We haven't spoken ever since and he changed his number and all i do is think about him every day but it hard to just move on.

AL 5 years ago

Me and my boyfriend of 1.5 year had recently called it quits(well he did). During our relationship he had put me through so much like drama with his ex GF, flirting with other woman and not making the relationship a 50/50 deal. He always would say how he's in love with me and wants me to be his wife and the woman of his children and so on. So recently I had got in contact with my ex but it was on a friend level I never disrepected my bf nor our relationship and my boyfriend felt I betrayed him by not telling him I had contacted my ex. Now he's telling me he just don't wanna be in a relationship, he's not thinking about moving on but me and him are over. So I kind of took it hard bc he was the first guy I had fell in love with, I took so much of his bullshit, supported him, helped him with money problems, and when everyone was judging him I WAS THERE and I did all of it not bc he was my bf or bc I was suppose to but bc of love I love that man and still do. So he decided that we should be friends and I told him I don't wanna be friends bc im still in love with him. So recently I blocked him off of facebook, deleted his number out of my phone, and deleted every memory of me and him just so it'll help me move on and get over him but something in me is telling me this is not the end of us but I don't want to be fooled by him. I feel like I wasted almost 2 years of my life and felt he took me for granted. How would I know if he actually did want me or want to make it work?

what do I do? 5 years ago

hi (: my ex and I were in a relationship for over a year, long distance and everything and... I have these moments where I'm so happy and I feel like I'm over him... and then I have moments where... if I see him online on Facebook, I get that feeling in my stomach and it all comes rushing back to me. I've gotten soooo much better. and I know I should delete him on Facebook.. but it's literally the last tie I have to him.

He was my first love and I thought we would be together forever... forever and always like we said. But once I get over him I'd really like to be friends... but I have this feeling he hates me. It's more than a feeling I guess... we have a mutual friend we both open up too... and I asked her if he hates me... she didn't say yes or no. so I took it as a yes. now I don't know what to do..

sorry it was so long...

what do I do? 5 years ago

oh, and it's been about two and a half months since he broke up with me.... in a text message... and never really told me why.

pixie 5 years ago

Read 'I Hate His/Her Ex' By Alex Cooper. I was having loads of problems with my fiance's ex and after reading this book, have resolved? nearly all of the issues that were causing a problem in my relationship. :) xx

confused 5 years ago

I keep telling myself that I am over him, but I am not! I think about him all the time, and all the good times we had. What makes it harder is that he's in my class! I see him 3 times a week, and he just ignores me.. as if we never knew each other. I don't know what to do.. we broke up 2 months ago, but seeing him brings back all the good memories I had with him. Please help =(

Special Thanks 5 years ago

Although I did not post on this site. I would like to thank you, M. Rose for posting this and answering everyone back.It amazes me that after two years, you are still answering everyone back. I send you a million thank you for being so supportive and helpful to everyone. Just your effort is simply amazing, and so very generous.

Thank you!

Shelby3 5 years ago

My boyfriend broke up with me, and his reason for breaking up with me was because "we wouldn't see each other with just me and him" and a friend told me that he broke up with me because he 'found someone better'. Then, a few days later, he txted me saying he thought that he was in love with me, and that he wouldn't break up with me if we dated again. But I told him no, because I didn't want to get hurt again. And I don't know if what I did was right since I still think about him, and miss him...Please help.

edionei 5 years ago

A big thank you to the author of this article. I'm going through a really tough time dealing with an idiot with who've I've been dealing with for 3.5 years. This was extremely helpful, thank you very much.

Glory De 5 years ago

It is all about positive psychology actually. Think of the negative sign imagining when you are together. If you have not live together and is still young "Oh gosh" it is very easy to move on. But if you have been together for years (like myself), i have one son with him and been together for 3 years but i always think the positive side of not being with him and the negative side of being with him. Try to hang-out with friends, enjoy your work, go out to a gym, watch movie and everytime you think of him then think about the negative. Welcome suitors but do not use any people to forget your x. Try to go to beach, go on vacation, have party and etc. But once again, Positive Psychology is the key. I have been through this and i know how suck it is. But having the positive psychology makes my daily life easier--- I am not telling you positive psychology could help you move on right away. It will just make you feel better, make your life easier despite of hurts and make your day a hopeful day for another positive change in your life.. got it? :-) cheers..

andrea 5 years ago

hey i want to break up with my fiancé who i've been with for about 4 years but i can't because i love him so much but he cheated on me with my friend it's the third time and it rly hurts me because i hate this girl and he kissed her and i can't forgive myself because i gave him te last chance but he came to my house and he cried alot and it was the first time that i see him crying and the second day all his family called me and ask me to give him the last chance because he loves me alot and he's regret but im not feeling comfortable with him anymore and im always thinking about my future and how it will be if i didn't end this relation plus i can't trust him anymore because it's not the first time but he promissed me that he wants to change and be a better person because he loves me

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 5 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

subrina: Cut off contact with him. It may sound harsh, but it's really hard to get over someone when they're texting you all the time! You can do better. Hope you're able to get over him...don't go back!

AL: You sound like you know exactly what was going on. Stick to your guns. You shouldn't waste any more time with someone you think was taking you for granted. Find someone better!

what do I do?: If you can't bring yourself to delete him on Facebook, maybe just hide his posts for now? Try to have the self-control to not look at his page. Getting "that feeling" of remembering the good times and being sad that they're over is normal, especially with a first love. Focus on you right now and friendship with him may come in time when you're both over each other.

confused: That's tough. It's hard to see someone after you've broken up. Just hang in there. Try to ignore him. Try not to look at him, as hard as it may be. Focus on yourself and your friends and living your life. Pretend he's invisible!

Special Thanks: Wow, what a nice comment! You're welcome. I figure if people take the time to make a comment, the least I can do is take the time to respond. Thank you for your kind words, they made my day!

Shelby3: Just because you still think about him doesn't mean you weren't right for saying no to him. You may have said no because you had a bad feeling about him...if that's the case, you're probably right. Trust your instincts. If your instincts are saying don't get back together, then don't.

Glory De: Great advice! Thanks for sharing.

andrea: Never trust a serial cheater! Looks like you know that though. Follow your gut and break up with him. You don't deserve someone who has cheated on you THREE times...that's horrible. There's someone better out there for you who will treat you right!

liz 5 years ago

ex- got divorced 6 months ago and he seems to be moving on and even dating and i am stuck. don't want to go out , losing interest to do things , just want to veg at home and watch tv etc and go out for odd walks

Brit 5 years ago

I have been broken up with my boyfriend for over a year. I loved him and he told me he loved me, we'd get married etc. With relationships you have ups and downs. He was disreceptful to me. Always on his phone and completely ingored me. I would wait for him for hours, I would call/text him and get not response, just like when he was with his friends but if I went out with me friends or late I was text and called every minute and all night long and I would answer him. He would humiliate me, never even say "you look great or you look sexy". I got nothing. Then I find out that he was cheating on me, lied to me, said lies about me. We had a bad brake up. He than harrassed me. I think he was trying to get back with me cuz his "girls" I think were giving him a hard time and than he admitted to me everything was his fault and then tells me all the nice things I wanted to hear from him when we were together. He is with someone since we broke up. Can someone give some advice on how to move on.

Tiana 5 years ago

Yes i will Try this even tho we live on The same block :/

doneitall 5 years ago

My ex boyfriend of two and a half years broke up with me 14mnths ago, it was messy. I did all of the things on this list: Started doing things I didn't do when we were together, threw away all his stuff, deleted/burnt photo's, enrolled into UNI, made loads of friends, moved 15hrs away, blocked his number/fb/email, even gave him a bad name (fatty. lol) BUT, it hasn't worked. well in a way it has because I am happy and I have had a boyfriend or two since but they only lasted a few weeks because I know Im still in love with him. The no contact thing didn't work because he just texted and called off different numbers and after 9mnths we started hanging out togther. Since we started hanging out its actually helped alot more because I got my questions answered and I got closure. I still love him and he reckons he loves me too but we ended in a bad way and the bad stuff is what makes us stay apart. Better this way and I know Ill eventually find someone who will sweep me off my feet and Iv decided my ex was just apart of the chapters leading up to the fairytale ending (:

Stephanie 5 years ago

Ive been seeing this guy for two months. We saw quite a bit of each other during the first month becuase there was a good chance I was moving for school. Then I decided I wasn't moving for school and our pattern of seeing each other changed. We would be together for two days straight and then not see each other for 2/3 days, but still text. Last Tuesday we spent the entire evening together for my birthday and he kissed me goodnight like usual. Then he didn't return my call on Wednesday night. Didn't hear from him Thursday. On Friday night around midnight, he texted me apologizing for not being in contact, that he hasn't been himself and can't give me what I want. We talked briefly on the phone Saturday afternoon, agreeing to get together and talk about things. Then he made excuses Saturday and Sunday not to get together. I understand if this is ending, but we had previously talked about always being adults/civil/and not ever ending on a bad note. Do I force the issue to meet face-to-face and show up at his house? I could use some closure.

Nica 4 years ago

wow amazing .. i absorb it

Michaela 4 years ago

Me & my ex broke up because i lied & i juss want em bak as a friend , but he keeps sayin im done but i don't want em to be done i wana be friends do i ignore em for a lil and give em space i need help ?

Mo 4 years ago

My ex and I just broke up after 15 mons. We were 2 different people he is very quiet and I am not but it seemed to work out okay at the start of the relationship he was very much in aw of me and I was not sure but I grew to love him. In the last few weeks I noticed he was distancing himself from me and did not seem to want to hang out or go days without even texting, so finally we had lunch and I brought it up ha said maybe we are not meant to be together and I asked him if there was anything he would like to say to save the relationship and he said no, that was it well it been 13 days and his friends are telling me he is texting this girl all the time and they are not wrong I watched the whole thing go on right in front of me. This hurts she is very attractive and I am not sure what to do bow my head and move on or try to fight he is not much of a communicator unless it is though a text. Do you think that this is a rebound or just meant to be. The girl said the minute that we broke up she would go after him and has done that to many boys after their relationships have ended, Please help and give me advise.

Chanelle 4 years ago

I have a very serious issue. My ex left me to marry a lady from his church. I loved him very much n I still do upon all these. We lost contact For about 9months n then we met again. We made love knowing very well he is married. I feel bad but I cannot stop loving him. I try very hard not to contact him but I end up always in his hands. I really need help,what so u think?

Dream 4 years ago

Hey i have an issue. I started going out with my close friend when i went to visit my hometown. I have known him for 4 years now and evrythng was perfect for about 2 months n den i came back to where i currently live.. Things started to change.. But we were still talking to each other. Everything seemed normal to me until one day when he sudenly stopped picking up my phone calls and unfriended me on facebook. I spoke to his friends to find out if he was allright and they said he was perfectly fine. He picks up evrybodys calls except for mine... No matter when i call him, and doesn't reply to anything.. N now i am confused as to what to do... Please advise

Phone 00 4 years ago

My bf and I broke up one week ago.We had a fight and that eventually lead us to breaking up.The day after we had our fight when I saw him at school he was still smiling at me and teasing me.why that?our relationship was 2 years old and Im afraid that the reason he was smiling was that he got over me.I don't know please help.there's been a week now that he seems me every time I pass by and I don't know why.omg I still love him so much.He even told me during our fight that he was happy of breaking up with me.please help

Sunny 4 years ago

My boyfriend of three years broke up with me two weeks ago. He said we needed to work on eachother but he wants to be my friend. Well I found out four days ago that he is in love with a girl he has only known for three weeks. She is moving in with him. We had such a great relationship in the past. He was very sick and I have helped him get healthier. He went on antidepressants for three weeks and now he thinks he is in love. This is so hard for me to get over this. I feel so betrayed

Brittany 4 years ago

I did 7 out of 10 of these things to get over my ex he cheated on me with my sister and it has been 5yrs now and i am going strong i met this nice guy and i am happy with where i am at in my life and who i am with. To all you girls if the guy dumps you then it is his prob not yours most of the time all of us girls will find the man that will make us happy and will love us how we are and will not want any other girl but us good luck to all of you girls and have a fun and happy life!!!

Alyssa 4 years ago

I dated my boyfriend for 4 years until he started cheating on me.we were even best friends in high school. he kept cheating over and over.. and I kept forgiving always cause he was my everything... my girl friends supported me in leaving him but I didn't listen until I got hurt really bad. and I decided to stand up for myself... and today I'm much better without him.. Cause he broke my heart too many times and I'm proud of myself. cause I deserve better..

kyla 4 years ago

this was really helpful.but i was kinda hoping you would help me a little in my situation,which is a bit different n difficult..i am from india.i m in love with a gorgeous guy,he is way better looking than me.he has a girlfriend already,a very pretty girl.becoz c was living really from here,we started making out and stuff,n i really love him.he used to temme all these romantic stuff and all.so it got me thinking maybe he has somethng for me.but he even has plans to marry his real girlfriend after our college gets over.n coz of some reasons v fought in the middle.later i found out that in those days wen we were not talking,he made out with another girl,and even a prostitute.becoz he tells for guys its difficult to start once and stop doing it suddenly.i am blank.i have nobody i could tell this to coz he dsnt want his real girlfriend to find out anythng.he loves her like crazy.so we had always kept it a secret.i dunno what to do.i love him still.can wait my entire life for him.but in the meanwhile i have turned down very good guys interested in me,hurt my friends,n sometimes my family too.i dunno anythn..plz could u help me??plz :(

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 4 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

Brit: Just give it time. Stay away from your ex and focus on yourself. Do something fun. In time, you'll feel better...promise.

Stephanie: If you need closure, you should try to get it. He may not be willing to give it to you, but you should definitely try if it'll help you to move on.

Michaela: Sometimes people need space to think things through. Give him some time and then talk to him again.

Mo: She may be a rebound, or he may actually like her. You may not know until the whole thing plays out. But since he's already going after another girl, I'd try to move on. If you two are meant to be together in the end, you'll find your way back to each other. In the meantime, focus on you.

Chanelle: Yikes. Sleeping with a married man is never a good idea, no matter how much you both love each other. Being the other woman is bad karma...my only advice is to stop sleeping with him. He has a wife, and you should accept that.

Dream: That's a hard situation to deal with. Unfortunately you can't make someone talk to you. If he refuses to communicate, the best you can do is try to move on. Just know that it's not your fault that he chose the immature and cowardly way to end things by ending all communication between you two. Maybe you could try writing him an email or Facebook message...something you know he'll see. Sometimes it makes you feel better to get all your thoughts out to someone, even if they never respond back.

Phone 00: I really don't know why he's smiling at you and teasing you. If it bothers you, try asking him.

kyla: I think the best thing for you to do is find a guy who doesn't already have a girlfriend. It sounds like he's in a great situation...he has a girlfriend, and he's got other girls on the side. It isn't fair to you to have him some of the time. Find a guy who's single.

TTabz 4 years ago

Hi M.Rose. I broke up with my boyfriend about 5 months ago, we dated for about 14months and in that we broke up abt 6 x already.he always cums back 2 me or rather we always get back 2gether. like most of our breakups the last one was coz of no communication.he started talking to me earlier this year for petty chats because it was a good ending so there was no fights or arguments. 2 days before I saw him with another gal he told me.. jokingly that he wants to marry me, after that there was another serious call saying that he wants me to have a child with him. after seeing him I was totally shattered because I realised that I still love after lying to myself and trying to convince myself that i am over him. I called him and politely asked him about the other gal but he told me it was some1 who just asked for a lift, but I know dep down that he is lying and now really realize that it is really time to move on although it still hurts,please help him me to get over him as i cant bear to see him with some1 else.it kills me

Angelica 4 years ago

my boyfriend and me, im sorry, my now EX-boyfriend and me just broke up about a few minutes ago. he said he still wants to be my friend cuz he loves me but is not ready to commit. so i told him fine, if he's not ready for us then its over. it took me so much to say that and i still cry as i write this but i know i have to move on. but i don't know if i can. until i read ur article. thank you so much, u don't kno how much this means to me.

Ray ray 4 years ago

Im only 13 and i was with a guy when i was 12!! And he was 15!! And that was a while ago and im still not over him i kno im to young to think about this i still wanna kno..

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yugu 4 years ago

me and my ex bf just broke up....

we wer together for 4 months then we broke up because his parents said they will never let us both marry because i belong to different caste & he left me saying that he cannot go against his parents..after 2 months we got together again because we were still in love with each other....then i broke up with him because he had hurt me a lot...

but he came and apologized for many times so i gave him one more chance and now its just one day and he is saying that he cannot convince his parents....

so we have decided to be friends but frankly i don't want to be his friend because i still love him....and we are also in the same clg and class so i have to see him everyday.....

n before i had friends to help but they had warned me not to give him another chance and that he will leave me for his parents again...but i was stupid to think that he would not because he said that he will convince his parents n wants to marry me....i know its my mistake this time because i trusted him..... plzz i guess i really need help....because he is saying that someday wen he asks his parents and if they say yes we would get married but what am i suppose to do till then....he doesn't want me to move on nor does he can go against his parents....

Noname 4 years ago

Well mine is a complicated issue! He is dying n lOving someone he hasn't seen but they chat n talk online n he prefers her over me ! He said a lot of shit to me but yea I finally ended it coz have had enough is difficult but am coping n this has helped me a lot :) thanks

M. Rose profile image

M. Rose 4 years ago from Orange County, CA Author

TTabz- Hang in there. Realize that you can do better, that you don't deserve to be with someone who lies and doesn't appreciate you. Let time pass and you'll feel better.

Angelica- I'm so glad that you found my article and that it helped you. Moving on takes time, but you can do it.

Ray ray- Enjoy your time to yourself! You have plenty of time to worry about relationships when you're older. Have fun right now!

yugu- Sorry to hear about your situation. When parents don't approve, it can get really complicated. However, it's selfish of him to ask you to wait for him or request that you don't move on. Do what you feel is right, but don't wait for him just because he selfishly doesn't want you to be with anyone else.

Noname- Yikes. You should pat yourself on the shoulder for walking away. Sometimes it's just not right! Glad I could help.

Soccerforever 4 years ago

What is so special about our exs. Because I truly don't know. My ex told me he loved me and the next day he dumped me over a phone call. He said he hit a wall and just fell out of love with me. If he can fall out of love that easily, he must not have been actually in love with me. So why are all these people posting about how said they are. When they should really be posting about how they are young and obviously the person who dumped them isn't the person for them. So don't waste your time on someone who wont do the same. I know its hard but things change, people come and go. But remember everyone has a special someone so don't be afraid to let go of the old and look for the new.

heartbreaker 4 years ago

he keeps texting me and i don't know why he wont leave me alone

draya 4 years ago

I just broke up with the father of my kids of 7 yrs....on and off. I am 23 going on 24....i feel like i gave him my all and the best years of my life... I wanna keep the rest of my years to ME and MY CHILDREN..

Lexi 4 years ago

Im excited to come up with a "bad name":) This breakup has been hard on me.....but im coping with it.....

Marjie 4 years ago

To the woman with three children. Take joy in your freedom and enjoy the best is yet to come. From one who has been there. Trust in the Lord take up hobbies look after yourself as number 1 u hold those babies tight and take delight in everyday that you are free at last.

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ali5688 4 years ago

I broke up with my guy a few months ago after going out with him for over a year. We got on really well but due to his work he had to move down south and I have a job up in Scotland so I was unable to move just yet, so it was best for both of us to finish things. I took this pretty hard as I was really happy but I'm getting there now. He's moved on so I think it's time for me to do the same. Your post was very helpful and has cheered me up a lot.

Thanks, Ali.

myrell 4 years ago

.hi i am really want to talk you online :) if you're available can you give me time? i just need some advices.to get over with this guy,a very tough situation i'm experiencing rightnow .. please thanks..

kathyloveex 4 years ago

i almost made 6 months with my boyfriend...i know, young teenage relationships. but i cared for him so much, and we've gotten through so many obstacles...i guess i was just stupid to think he would stay with me for a long time. i regret being so argumentative and over thinking everything. it really does ruin things. im dying to have him back, but i don't know if he feels the same. its honestly so hard for me to get over someone who meant so much to me. i just don't really know what to do anymore. im texting other guys, but they don't fill in the void i have in my heart, and at the end of the day, they arent the ones who are on my mind before i go to sleep. its him. not them. i just hope things work out for me, because i know i deserve to be happy.

Kasey 4 years ago

Lisa, have you tried Michael Griswolds "Reunited Relationships"? I highly recommend you watch his presentation, it helped me. Here's the link: http://www.TheTextCartoon.com

sadnow 4 years ago

what's up with all these spell casting

Bubbleguuum 4 years ago

Thankyou so much! This is definitley what I need right now. The boy always kissed up to me saying im perfect and he loved me and we should be together forever. I mean, at the time i didn't actually believe it coz who says that? Haha but then he dumped me saying he wasn't ready for a relationship. Bulls**t. Hes a player and goes out with everyone and I shouldve known. Now, Im glad im not with him anymore. Its his loss. Hes the sorry one not me!

yazmine 3 years ago

Yep ma ex bf. Broke up widd me I wazz sad n depressed n I was crying ma eyes out Fab hum but I realized that I don't need hum :)

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ShaniaLilly 3 years ago

Extremely helpful! :)

Catherine Wesley profile image

Catherine Wesley 2 years ago

This is great. Need to share with EXaholics.com. Lots would benefit from reading it.

mina 2 years ago

i've been going out with my boyfriend for 3 yrs now. all went well until this year, he's starting to change, he's not sharing anything with me, started talking with girls, etc etc he's doing things he never done in the past 3yrs and it's hurting me. I tried to stop him but the more i interfere the more we arguing and fight... and just recently, we had a pretty bad fight he beat me so hard and saying things that were very unforgivable. He said he never loved me and that he only used me, he said all the meanest things that could possibly hurt me. After fighting, he started being nice to me again, asking if i wanna eat anything blah blah. He had a short temper as well.. today i decided to talk to him about that night, and i can see that nothing has changed. he has changed so much. Even telling me if i want to be still with him then just keep quiet, and if i don't want then just leave. but it hurts me deep inside.. Everytime i try to move on, it seems like he's caring more, doing all the nicest things. I really love him, he's the first guy i've been with seriously , never knew he just took me for granted. what should i do? please help.

Abright 23 months ago


I just came from a bad relationship and I am really upset of the person whom I have loved and I don't have any plans of going back to him.

Just to give you a short idea:

I have an x boyfriend named Joseph Jasper Dimacali who fooled me and not just me but a lot women. After we broke up I discovered that he is going on and off with different women and asking for money as an additional source of living.He even does this kind of thing over the internet. He is a bastard and I don't think he feel sorry for everything he did. I am really mad at him. He is definitely not a good person. Here is a link to his facebook account https://www.facebook.com/jayjay.dimacali.9?fref=pb...

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