10 Worst Places to Find 'The One'

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Many people try to tell you where you should go to find 'the one', but what places should you avoid? Here are some humorous reasons why you shouldn't venture to these locales in pursuit of your happily ever after.


1. Grocery Stores: I mean, what exactly are you going to chat about? "Oh, I see you have chocolate ice cream in your shopping cart. I love that flavor, too. Can I have your number, so we can talk more about the fascinating subject of ice cream?"


2. Dating Sites: Okay, I know some of you are saying that your aunt's best friend's cousin's younger brother is engaged because he met a normal girl online, but let's be honest. It's mainly just an expensive long shot.


3. Bars: Yes, I'm sure you're going to find your soul mate in a place where everyone is drunk and motorcycle gangs frequent.


4. In front of the television/computer: Pining away at celebrities on TV or online won't get you very far (I know you think you have a chance with Justin Bieber because he mentioned you on twitter, but let's get real). Also, stalking the person you like on social media won't help either. It's better to be in the physical presence of real people than merely trying to woo them online.


5. Divorce Court: If you think you can just waltz in and become an epic rebound for a divorcee, you've got another thing coming to you.


6. Funeral: Just think about how this would sound when your kids ask how you first got together: "Well, we just fell into each other's arms out of grief." More like, good grief, people, have some respect.


7. Jail: Right, you can definitely trust that 'ex-thief' or 'ex-murderer', because his letters are so sweet.


8. Gym/Aerobics class: Guys, girls just love when creeps stare at them while they're working out. Girls, there's going to be so many hot guys in your aerobics class; they just love to get their Zumba on.


9. Monastery/Nunnery: That attractive monk or nun is totally going to give up his or her promise to God and run away with you into the sunset. Actually no, you've seen The Sound of Music one too many times.


10. Family Reunions: I know what you're thinking, "There's got to be someone here I'm not related to." Unless you're from Alabama, you better be looking elsewhere for Mr. or Mrs. right.


Thanks

Thanks to everyone from facebook and twitter who gave me your amusing ideas.


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Comments 20 comments

Life and Luxury profile image

Life and Luxury 4 years ago from South Beach, FL

Numbers 5, 6, 7, and 9 are hilarious. I bet there are people that do these things too. Too funny!


Ebower profile image

Ebower 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Life and Luxury: Thanks! I'm glad I could amuse you. :)


Jasmine JellyBaby 4 years ago

Divorce Court???? HAHAHAHHA!


Ebower profile image

Ebower 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Jasmine JellyBaby: Yes, not the best place; haha. Thanks for reading!


Lilli 4 years ago

erin lol gosh i miss you silly girl. made me smile :)


Ebower profile image

Ebower 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Lilli: I miss you, too. I'm so glad I could make you smile!


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 4 years ago from San Francisco

Funny AND well written. You got me good.


Ebower profile image

Ebower 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Mhatter99: Wow; well, thank you! :)


Charu Bhatnagar profile image

Charu Bhatnagar 4 years ago from India

Ha ha, I could not help smiling all through. :-D Fortunately in my case, I am not even trying to find "the One" now.


Ebower profile image

Ebower 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Charu Bhatnagar: I'm glad I could entertain you. :) I'm not either. If it happens it happens. Thanks for commenting!


internpete profile image

internpete 4 years ago from At the Beach in Florida

Ha, what a fun read. #5 and 7 made me laugh. Good insights here, voted up.


Ebower profile image

Ebower 4 years ago from Georgia Author

internpete: Thanks for reading. I'm glad I could brighten your day. I appreciate the vote!


epigramman profile image

epigramman 4 years ago

and don't forget #11. Hubpages - lol lol

and yes what tremendous wit you have and verve and nerve and sass and intelligence .....better not go on any more or I will be here all night - sending warm wishes and good energy from lake erie time ontario canada 8:31pm


Ebower profile image

Ebower 4 years ago from Georgia Author

epigramman: Haha! Well, thank you very much. I hope you have a wonderful night!


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

Funny! :) Actually, a couple of years ago, a lot of the relationship advice columns were recommending meeting dates at the grocery store. And, I have to admit, there are some hot guys shopping for food at 3am (at least there were in Alaska). I met my husband at a bar and we've been together over 7 years. But then, where I come from, the bars ARE the social scene. :) Voted up and sharing. Thanks for the chuckle.


Ebower profile image

Ebower 4 years ago from Georgia Author

TToombso8: I can see how a grocery store could be both a good and a bad place to meet someone. Congrats! Everyone meets their special someone in a different place and everyone has a different story. I guess I wrote this mainly to be funny. Thanks for voting! I'm glad I could amuse you. :)


Alecia Murphy profile image

Alecia Murphy 4 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

I don't know how I missed this- you did a great job with these places. Some of them, I didn't think of like Divorce Court. And jail well, I just try not to think of that at all.

And I agree about the gym- it's too creepy thinking about a guy looking at me halfway rundown.

Family reunions- that should be a no brainer :).

Awesome stuff!


Angela Kane profile image

Angela Kane 4 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

Very funny, a funeral and jail are definitely the worst places to find a mate.


vicki goodwin profile image

vicki goodwin 4 years ago from Winchester Kentucky

Even in Alabama we shy away from finding a blood relative soul mate at the family reunions. I find it healthier if the family tree has a few branches on the way up. LOL This was a great hub!!


Ebower profile image

Ebower 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Alecia Murphy: It might be my fault. I tend to publish hubs at weird times like late at night, because I like to write then. I'm so glad you liked it. Thanks!

Angela Kane: Yes, definitely! Haha. Thank you!

Vicki Goodwin: That's good to know; haha. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

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