11 Reasons To Prove That She Is Not "Miss Right"

WRITER’S NOTE: This hub is affectionately-dedicated to one of my Dear Friends and Followers, shaekelly. Thanks for the needed-inspiration. KENNETH.


It’s sad that men and women can both be so gullible at various times of their lives.

For some, it’s the single years while for others, the gullibility hits after a few years of marriage.

The only known cure for gullibility is more knowledge. And that only comes with more studying and improving one’s mental powers. Easier said than done.

Let us, for a moment or two, consider the single man for example. For my wager, I’d be willing to bet that us guys are more-gullible than any of you girls. Here’s my ten bucks to back up my bet.

Single guys are out for one thing: Female companionship. Lots of female companionship. Take my word for it.

No harm in that. I too used to be quite the “girl chaser,” and in my many chases, I was “taken for a ride,” by some smooth-talking sister (I didn’t say “flussie”) just so I would give her a ride to see her friends.

As she got out of my car I would ask like any guy who has suddenly realized that he has been taken for a clod, “can I call you later?”

When those words left my lips, she would look at her fellow smooth-talking sisters and all of them howl like a roving pack of hyenas that (was seen on Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom with Marlin Perkins and Jim Fowler) had just found dinner.

I didn’t feel good when this happened to me. I will admit here and now that this happened to me a lot more than once.

But after a lot of being used by “these” girls who only “looked” good on the outside, but inside were selfish, greedy and only out for themselves, I wised-up.

Is this girl like your girl, single guys?

loves to flirt with strange men while getting buzzed on whiskey?
loves to flirt with strange men while getting buzzed on whiskey? | Source

And you single guys should wise-up too as you read this story that I am calling “11 Signs That Prove She Isn’t ‘Miss Right,’”


1.) She uses Jack Daniels whiskey for milk to pour over her cereal every morning.


2.) She dips smokeless tobacco most of the time--even in church.


3.) She always wants you to look at her photos of her “old flames” she has loved long before you came into her life.


4.) She dresses scantily on purpose when your male friends drop by for a beer and a game of pool.


5.) She flirts (as if she were possessed) with every man she sees and even when she is with you shopping for groceries with you.

Single men, don't be like this guy

Sad, depressed, and blue all of the time simply because you didn't know that your now-ex fiancé was not "Miss Right"
Sad, depressed, and blue all of the time simply because you didn't know that your now-ex fiancé was not "Miss Right" | Source

6.) She loves to flirt with girls just to make you wonder if it’s a male who she really loves.


7.) She loves to get into fist-fights with total strangers and when she beats a guy down to the sidewalk, she yells a victory chant equal to that of the legendary Tarzan of The Apes.


8.) She does not believe in holding down a full-time job, but instead tells you that her religious beliefs forbid her from working.


9.) She calls the police department everyday to make false reports, and she then laughs at you when they, the police, threaten to take you to jail for this offense.


10.) She eludes security at college football games and runs onto the field wearing only black panties and bra while yelling, “I am the queen of the south! You best bow down to me!”


11.) She torments your pet dog, “Chuckles,” by turning her pet cat, “Lucifer,” loose on him.


So now, all my single guy friends, are you ready to “walk the aisle,” and wed the girl who fits any or all of these descriptions?

I suggest that you take some time and really think about what you are about to do.

Oh, “I love her more than life,” you say. “and you can change her in time,” you argue.

Well then, go for it. Best wishes to you and your “demon damsel.”

But do not call me when you “tie the knot,” and things go from worse to worse for I am too weak to fight the temptation of saying, “I told you so.”


ANOTHER WRITER’S NOTE: Although the mention of smokeless tobacco was included in this story, I do not condone the use of smokeless, chewing, or regular tobacco used in the manufacturing of cigarettes. KENNETH.

Guys, does your girl love to strip in public?

Maybe she isn't the girl for you.
Maybe she isn't the girl for you. | Source

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Comments 29 comments

Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 3 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Kenneth you are so crazy.. I AM LAUGHING SO HARD.. I guess i need to stop with the tobacco huh? lol

love it Dear Kenneth love it

Debbie


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

what's not to love about this hub!! LOL. you only live and learn.


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 3 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Kenneth i shared


lupine profile image

lupine 3 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Kenneth, you are so realistic and creative. You may have helped some guys who read this. Only you can write like this. I wrote a hub on a woman like this: Love is gone, but not forever...not sure if you saw it. Take care.


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Kenneth,

I hesitated reading this because I feared reading something that would suggest I'm not "Miss Right" material... but I have to say, I'm safe. This was too funny! I hope you don't honestly know girls like this :-)

Up and Funny!


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 3 years ago from the South

Kenneth, you crack me up! You still amaze me with the topics you come up with and the humor you tap into. Great hub and gave me a good laugh for the day...thanks!


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Loved this. Gave me a really good laugh. You have a very creative imagination.


Angela Blair profile image

Angela Blair 3 years ago from Central Texas

What a hoot -- I think I went to school with a couple of these girls and they're still married to the same poor klutz (those guys were afraid to leave them!) Wonderful Hub -- started my weekend off just right! Best/Sis


DDE profile image

DDE 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Incredible thoughts here and you have thought of such a great title. A good laugh is worth the efforts. You truly can keep your readers coming back to your work.


picklesandrufus profile image

picklesandrufus 3 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

My gosh Kenneth. I will laugh about this one for a while:)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Debbie,

Yes. I hear that smokeless tobacco can cause gum cancer, but more importantly, can cause the female user to live a life of loneliness and depression.

Thank you, my friend, for your comment. I think you or I, (I'm thinking you) need to write, "Am I The Right One For Him/Her," that would be great.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, love doctor,

I sincerely appreciate your lovely comment. But honestly, in my day I've been so lonely that "these" girls looked really good.

Oh well. Life goes on.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

@ Deborah,

Thanks for sharing. I.O. You big time.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Greetings, lupine,

That's it! If one confused guy can "see the light," by reading this hub well my work hasn't been in vain.

And thanks for your sweet compliments.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Cantuhearmescream,

It is so good to meet you. Yes, of course, you are safe.

And NO, I am proud to say that I don't know any girls like this.

Well there was that substitute teacher I had . . .naaah.

Not looking back.

I Cordially Invite You to be one of my followers. That would make my day.

I will be looking for you.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Catgypsy,

Thank you for laughing at this work. I appreciate it so much that I cannot put it in words.

I hope you are well and feeling okay.

Call us if you need us.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Gypsy Rose Lee,

Thank you, from the heart, for your comment. I am proud and blessed to have THE BEST FOLLOWERS on HubPages!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Angela,

I do too. But mine are long-time divorced. But your comment made me shake all over with laughter.

Thanks, sis.

Have a great day and stop in anytime.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, DDE,

Thanks a million for commenting on this hub. I cannot tell you just how much your words, and those of my followers, help me to keep going--searching and trying to find just the right hub for you all to read.

God smile on you.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear picklesandrufus

Your comment summed up (my work on this hub) nicely.

Thank you ever so much.

I will never forget you or your sweet comments.


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Kenneth,

Perhaps you could write a hub about your Substitute teacher experience? ;-)

Thanks... looks like you're a busy boy tonight!


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

So... Mr. Kenneth, I just went to follow you, which I must admit I was a bit surprised and confused that I already wasn't.... but as I clicked the "FOLLOW" button... I unFollowed you! I already was following you SILLY GOOSE!

Cat


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Cantuhesrmescream,

I'm so sorry for the confusion. But humor me as I explain.

When I first joined HP, I was on here a lot everyday. Then my health started getting worse, so I started limiting my time to writing some, then resting some.

Sometimes I'd go for a long time without writing.

I hope you can understand this.

AND "THANK YOU, AGAIN, FOR FOLLOWING ME," I say this from my heart.

My followers, you included, mean the world to me.

Kenneth


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Kenneth,

First, I'm sorry to hear about your health and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers; that is more important than anything else. Second, I hope you know I was attempting to be playful and in no way was offended. I thought it was funny that I clicked your Follow, Unfollow, Follow, Unfollow... a dozen times before I realized what was happening... I was actually getting frustrated because it was not allowing me to leave you fan mail, apparently, because I already had!

You just do what you've got to do and don't worry about anything else. Thank you for your kind words... and obviously, I didn't follow you because you mentioned it... I already chose to because I think you're funny!

Cat


lupine profile image

lupine 3 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Kenneth, believe me, your hubs are helping people everyday... they are interesting, unique, entertaining, humorous and funny. Where else can you find real-life information like this? Thank you for all the laughs you have given me, my dear friend.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Cat,

You've given me something great to think about.

Thank you for your kindness, caring, sharp sense of humor and your presence in my life.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, My Dear Friend lupine,

Awww, how sweet your words are.

Thank you from my heart. Maybe one day I can meet you, even if I have to fly, for coffee or some tasty tea.

I'm not much, but how I can dream.

Please stay in touch with me.


lupine profile image

lupine 3 years ago from Southern California (USA)

That would be great, Kenneth! One day...

Yes, stay in touch. Your friend always.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear lupine,

:) cannot wait.

Your Friend Always,

Kenneth

P.S. when I promise my friendship to someone I mean it. I try to be honorable. Thanks for just being you, lupine.

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