12 Questions I Should Have Never Asked The Confused, Lonely Hitcher

This photo  is deeper than the Pacific. Each much make his or her own interpretation of why this couple is hitchhikng just outisde of Vicksburg, Miss.
This photo is deeper than the Pacific. Each much make his or her own interpretation of why this couple is hitchhikng just outisde of Vicksburg, Miss. | Source
Careful. Not everyone is as lovely as they look
Careful. Not everyone is as lovely as they look

or should say, "what," made me do what I did at age 22? An event far beyond human reasoning, even the most-enlightened meta-physist in Indiana or Oak Ridge. But it happened. Only if I am the only one who belr day beieves it.

I arose from my decent REM sleep, at 7 a.m. on a Thursday--hating the idea of going to work just like the majority of Americans. After shaving, showring, and watching a few minutes of SportsCenter with my morning coffee, I went to my car and in a flash, I was on my way to another hum-drum day of doing hum-drum tasks such as filing paperwork, retrieving paperwork and a mild dose of being nice to my non-talkative boss.

The universally-recognized symbol of "I need a ride, please"
The universally-recognized symbol of "I need a ride, please" | Source

As I neared the interstate exit

that had led me to my vocation for over four and a half years, seemingly my car sputtered, choked and acted as if the engine was going to shut-off. A wave of fear ran over me. I was no mechanic. Who did people think I was, "Mr. GoodWrench?"

Thankfully, whatever was wrong with my car stopped and I was within 50-yards of my office building. I breathed a sigh of heavy relief. At that moment, my boring job was more like a blessing of the two choices I had of a broken-down auto and my job.

She "looks" sweet, but it's what's behind her sunglasses that you best worry about
She "looks" sweet, but it's what's behind her sunglasses that you best worry about

Have YOU ever been face-to-face with a Dangerous-but-Gorgeous female hitchhiker?

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Enter the "Dream World"

as I grew to call it years later. I parked my car, entered the same old door, greeted "Billy Thotmpson," the same old security guard, and walked to my same old desk. What it as this? I asked myself looking at the stack of legal documents that I had to file and log for my office manager to report to the Legal Dept. What a great day lay ahead, I mumbled.

Lightning flashed at that moment causing the power to go off in our offfice. Thunder clapped like a drunken opera fan and screams from both female and male employees filled the air. Including myself.

"What is creation is this?" screamed "Jenny Right," our assistant office manager who had crawled underneath her desk.

"End of time!" yelled "Lance Gilbert," a legal analyst who was married and with his wife expecting their second child.

I admit it. I was seriously thinking about what lay beyond the invisible veil called life and if there were a place for me in that "great beyond," people had labeled it. Lightning was still flashing shaking our building. Employees were praying--those who had faith in God, while some cursed in a low voice. Chaos and pandemonium is the only two words to describe these fear-filled moments.

Innocent-but-able to shake your world so much that you will want to stop and jump off
Innocent-but-able to shake your world so much that you will want to stop and jump off | Source

Time froze--so did life

as I opened my eyes slowly and praying inside that everyone around me was not hurt or vanished. I had seen this very scene in an old comic book when I was a teen. Frankly, i was very scared, shaking like a lost baby rabbit in an evil, dark forest. I had not experienced fear of this intensity since I was almost drawn into a fist-fight at my college alma mater's homecoming game last year when a fan of the opposing team, drunk and looking for trouble, ran me down in the parking lot and the police had to pull him off of me.

. . . then there she stood

A vision? A dream? I was too scared to care
A vision? A dream? I was too scared to care

I will be honest

I was terrified, but her ravishing-looks gave ne a deep sense of peace. My mouth could not open nor my lips move. A million words flew through my mind, but none of them made sense.

Then I became more terrified for I was no longer in my office. I was standing beside what I thought was my car, a 1960 Chevrolet, four-door, blue and white--and looking at this female angel who had the combined looks of Jayne Mansfield, Barbara Nichols, and Marilyn Monroe.

She was just staring at me first, then her surroundings. Her eyes were glazed, and her eyelids did not blink. I watched in secret-appreciation as she inhaled and exhaled. Was she a demon from Hades? Was she a victim of this time-warm as myself? These questions tormented my mind as I began to gather the courage to speak to her.

. . .and before the next two hours would be dusty history, I was soon be remorseful at

The 12 Questions That I Should Never Haved Asked The Confused, Lonely Hitcher

The gorgeous Hollywood legend: Barbara Nichols
The gorgeous Hollywood legend: Barbara Nichols | Source
If someone wants a ride this bad, drive off
If someone wants a ride this bad, drive off | Source
Beware of hitchhikers with sweatshirts
Beware of hitchhikers with sweatshirts
Barbara Nichols at her finest
Barbara Nichols at her finest
What guy would not be tempted to stop to pick her up, up, but he might be in for more trouble than he barganed for
What guy would not be tempted to stop to pick her up, up, but he might be in for more trouble than he barganed for

1.) "Miss, do you know who I am?"

Her response: A deeper look of confusion on her face.

2.) "Uhh, may I ask you, do you eat oranges?"

Her response: A look of deep fear came to her eyes.

3.) "Are you, uhhh, from this world?"

Her response: Her hands flew to cover her face

4.) "May I get you some, uhh, earth clothing?"

Her response: Her head began to hang toward the ground

5.) "Do you think I am an earth monster?"

Her response: A sharp, quick glare at me

6.) "Are you a female?"

Her response: Her head shook slowly

7.) "Can you walk with me to get a ride?"

Her response: Her hands covered her head

8.) "Can you say . . .H-e-l-l-o?"

Her response: A harsh look of anger came on her face

9.) "Do you, errr, like me?"

Her response: A look of fear came to her pretty blue eyes

10.) "Are you an American?"

Her response: She slowly began to walk away from me

11.) "Do you think that I am an animal?"

Her response: She stopped, looked back and looked angry

12.) "Can you tell me where we are?"

Her response: Her arms flew into the air out of frustration

I guess that you are wondering what happened . . .

Well, it is not something of cosmic-imaginery, but it is something you can tell your grandkids if you run out of things to talk about.

I was so scared from the power going off causing me to think it was lightning and the world was ending. What I experienced was a simple journey to my subconscious. Nothing more. Nothing less.

But the last part of this explanation is still a mystery. "June Halladay," our senior accountant who was so pretty that her looks could be registered as a lethal weapon with the F.B.I., was lookking down at me as I came up.

She giggled and said, "I came back here to answer your question to whether I would go to dinner with you this Friday or not and you had bumped your head on your desk and I waited until you recovered to tell you . . .not really. I was going to say yes, but man, you lay there and all you could do is ask ignorant questions, and I am not into that."

Just another day at the office.

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Comments 4 comments

SandyMertens profile image

SandyMertens 23 months ago from Frozen Tundra

I enjoyed your hitcher hub and that it was just another day at the office.


vkwok profile image

vkwok 22 months ago from Hawaii

Thanks for the laughs, Kenneth!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 22 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

vkwok,

My friend, you are very welcome.

This is one of the reasons I am here--to make my Wonderful Followers happy.

Have a good night.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 22 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, SandyMertens,

Thanks so much for your sweet comment.

Now that I look at this hub again, I see places where I could have done better, but sometimes there is not time enough.

Come back to see me, Sandy.

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