12 Things That Were Never Said To Me

"OUTSTANDING WORK, KENNETH!"

was never said to me no matter where I was working. If I had went into the military at age 18, I'm sure that my sargents wouldn't  have said this to me either.
was never said to me no matter where I was working. If I had went into the military at age 18, I'm sure that my sargents wouldn't have said this to me either.

I swear to you

with my hand in the air. I don't know why I am writing such a hub as this one. I guess I have the need to confess another heavy burden that I've carried around for many years and never told anyone about it.

Never, in my 58 years of living, "I" have never, and I do mean sternly, never heard any of these 12 things you will read below in a moment.

Don't ask me why. For I cannot answer your question. And now I wish I had the mind of Jesus whose thoughts are so high that we mortals cannot contend, much less understand them, but I don't. So I am, like you, just stuck in this place in time and left to wonder why, for all the places I have been, all the things I have done, people I've me, not one of the 12 things I am confessing have my tender ears heard.

Am I sorry for myself? No. That never entered my mind. I am though, very curious as to why many of those around me, the elite, the super-minded, the always-popular, heard these 12 things and more during the times I knew them. Guess that I was the one whom God needed to fill the slot of being "left out," or "overlooked."

That's cool. If God planned it that way, great. But read the 12 things below and see if you can relate to just a few? Thank you.

DANIELLE SARAHYBE, SPORTS ILLUSTATED SWIMSUIT MODEL.
DANIELLE SARAHYBE, SPORTS ILLUSTATED SWIMSUIT MODEL.

"Kenneth, please come away with me to my private bungalow in Key West, Florida. All expenses paid."

I wish that one time in my life, someone as charming and lovely as Danielle Sarahybe, Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, would have said something like this to me.

HORSES WIN AWARDS ALL OF THE TIME.
HORSES WIN AWARDS ALL OF THE TIME.

My common sense tells me that if horses can win awards for races everyday, why did I not have someone say to me . . .

Kenneth, we are so proud of how you ran in our 20-mile marathon. So proud that we are awarding you this expensive blue ribbon to show how much we appreciate your performance.

GOD NEVER GAVE ME THE GIFT OF MUSIC.
GOD NEVER GAVE ME THE GIFT OF MUSIC.

"Kenneth, grab your guitar, we want a song"

And no, this was never said to me in any shape, form or fashion. Hey, I could have entertained friends at beach-side bon fires, cook-outs and cozy parties with no problem. I had the guitar, mind you. And the desire to learn the chords, but it never happened, my gift of music surfacing in my life for obviously, God never gave it to me.

THE LIFE OF A GIFTED MUSICIAN IS A HAPPY ONE.
THE LIFE OF A GIFTED MUSICIAN IS A HAPPY ONE.

"Sing for us, won't you please, Kenneth?"

Right now, I despise Billy Joel, Leon Russell, Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles. These guys not only grew into superstar entertainers, but I am sure that when they started out, some of them must have shown-up at a "dead" party and the panic-stricken hostess begged them to sing for them. Well, hey! What about moi? Oh yeah, God didn't give me the gift of singing either.

I NEVER HAD ONE GIRL WHO MISSED ME TO THE POINT OF ALL SHE HAD THOUGHTS OF WERE ME.
I NEVER HAD ONE GIRL WHO MISSED ME TO THE POINT OF ALL SHE HAD THOUGHTS OF WERE ME.

"Ohhh, Kenneth, I've missed you so much you are all that I thought about."

This one I would have given a million dollars to hear from a pretty girl so lonesome to see me that all the thought about in our time apart was "me." The closest I ever came to hearing a confession like this was, "oh, Kenneth, did you go somewhere?" That hurts. And bad.

TO DATE DAWN WELLS, "MARY ANN,"  FROM "GILLIGAN'S ISLAND," WAS MY DREAM.
TO DATE DAWN WELLS, "MARY ANN," FROM "GILLIGAN'S ISLAND," WAS MY DREAM.

"Kenneth, please! I ONLY WANT YOU to rescue me from "Gilligan's Island!"

I loved Dawn Wells, a/k/a "Mary Ann," the God-gifted girl of natural beauty on CBS' "Gilligan's Island." I really did. I mean to the point of dreaming about her. Almost sending her a steamy fan letter, but that might have been inappropriate. So I dreamed of hearing "Mary Ann," swoon the statement above and friends, I would have died trying to make sure Dawn Wells made it safely back to civilization.

Billy Mills Crossing the Finish Line and Winning the GoldBilly Mills (Oglala Lakota), far left, crosses the finish line in first place during the 10,000 meters at the 1964 Olympic Games in Tokyo. (Photo courtesy of Billy Mills)
Billy Mills Crossing the Finish Line and Winning the GoldBilly Mills (Oglala Lakota), far left, crosses the finish line in first place during the 10,000 meters at the 1964 Olympic Games in Tokyo. (Photo courtesy of Billy Mills)

"and breaking the tape FIRST, is Kenneth "the Blaze" Avery!"

Never. Now understand this. In my high school years, and maybe a few beyond, I was active as I could be. In our Physical Education classes in high school I was a decent wide-receiver in our after-class football games, but my passion was running laps just like my heros of the track and field sports shows on television. No matter how hard I tried, I never won, came in first, or anything of this nature. What a shameful memory to bear.

STEVE MARTIN (CENTER), COMEDIAN, WRITER, ACTOR, PRODUCER.
STEVE MARTIN (CENTER), COMEDIAN, WRITER, ACTOR, PRODUCER.

"What a funny guy you are, Kenneth. You are much funnier than that guy on Saturday Night Live, that Steve Martin."

If I had heard this statement, I would not be sitting here with my black coffee alone in my workroom "banging out" another hurtful hub about my losses over my lifetime. I love comedy. I love to make people laugh. You can witness this by reading my hubs. Very seldom are my hubs of a serious nature. Sure I like drama, but I love comedy. I think I would have made a good living doing stand-up, if only someone had said something like the sentence above to me when I was younger.

IN MY TEEN YEARS I HAD A DECENT BODY AND WITH A LITTLE WORK, I COULD HAVE MADE A GOOD UNDERWEAR MODEL.
IN MY TEEN YEARS I HAD A DECENT BODY AND WITH A LITTLE WORK, I COULD HAVE MADE A GOOD UNDERWEAR MODEL.

"Kenneth, you have to be "THE" sexiest man alive"

NOTE: This is NOT ME in the photo to the right, but man, how I would have foamed at the mouth if some lovely woman had breathed this sentence to me. I would have taken it even if she had been drinking heavily. I wouldn't have cared. I know two of my buddies whom the females flocked over like hungry chickens after corn. All of the time. Night and day. Whereas "I" had to beg, plead, almost bribe girls to just ride around with me. I guess I am very bitter at my age of 58. I have not one hot, sexy memory of me and one girl who had "rocked my world," the night before. Not one. And I will die with that on my life's record.

Friends, you have just read

"one of those things," a painful area of my life that I cannot fix. 12 things. 12 simple, easily-achieved things. But as for me, I am left to wonder "why," and "if," I had made the right decisions or wise choices when I had to make them.

It's a tough thing, friends. And I can hear your lips preparing to tell me, "Kenneth, you are much-better at "other" things besides these," or "Kenneth, these were not your gifts," and I admit it. I like those statements of personal validation. And thank you if you said these things.

Right now, at this moment, I know what I am NOT GOOD AT, Living with this fact that "I" was never chosen to be told any of these 12 things.

Maybe I can win an award for that someday.

"WHAT A SHARP DRESSER YOU ARE, KENNETH!"

Nope. Have never heard this clothing compliment either.
Nope. Have never heard this clothing compliment either.

More by this Author


Comments 31 comments

Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 4 years ago from San Francisco

Really good share. life dealt me me a pretty good hand. I'm certain I could have played a better game. but now the game is over,and I'm glad to take the bench


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 4 years ago

Well Kenneth, I'm about to say this. You are incredibly funny. Voted up funny and awesome.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Mhatter,

thank you, seriously, for your intelligent and very-sane remark. I hope that it sinks into my soul, for many times, I am "still on the field," as it were, and don't know how to run to the sidelines."

Your pen name would be "Mad Coach 99"

Just a thought.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Breakfastpop,

That is so sweet of you to say. I would have never thought of someone as nice as you saying that to me. What honesty you have. I appreciate YOU THINKING this of me.

You are not only a talented writer, but a TERRIFIC friend, Breakfastpop!!!!

Your Friend in America,

Kenneth

PS: A farming fact: Did you know that a rooster cannot swallow anything of a meat product?

See how you can get a FREE education each time you comment on my hubs.

Love ya, KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Breakfastpop,

That is so sweet of you to say. I would have never thought of someone as nice as you saying that to me. What honesty you have. I appreciate YOU THINKING this of me.

You are not only a talented writer, but a TERRIFIC friend, Breakfastpop!!!!

Your Friend in America,

Kenneth

PS: A farming fact: Did you know that a rooster cannot swallow anything of a meat product?

See how you can get a FREE education each time you comment on my hubs.

Love ya, KENNETH


Julie DeNeen profile image

Julie DeNeen 4 years ago from Clinton CT

ROTFLMAO- Nice job Kenneth. Did anyone ever tell you that you are the funniest man in the whole world? I bet you could write a song too! Would you pick up your guitar and play me one?


Angela Blair profile image

Angela Blair 4 years ago from Central Texas

Excellent and hilarious Hub -- congratulations -- as you've not had some of the accolades you mention how about we name you "one of the funniest men on the planet?" I'll definitely vote for that one! Good job! Best/Sis


iTommyGuns profile image

iTommyGuns 4 years ago from Blakeslee, PA

Hey Kenneth! MaryAnn was kinda hot back then but I never wrote to her either. Could you imagine if she had a facebook back then? As far as that guy in the picture, I just tell myself I'd kick his butt! Great hub!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago

Well I certainly will Follow the Group on that Thought...YOU are a very Funny, Clever Guy...Fun, Fun, read, Kenneth. Well Deserved Accolades!


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Funny, funny, funny! Kenneth, you ARE a great guy...not as good as MaryAnn wanting you to rescue you, but true!


xstatic profile image

xstatic 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

This is so funny and interesting too. You speak for many of us. I have been lucky enough to hear one or two of those comments in my lfe, can only hope they were sincere. I still, even at this age am liable to sing at a karaoke bar, am still thinking about doing a standup routine on some open mike night. I have had at least three guitars, took lessons, bought books, even got some callouses from practicing all to no avail. I am also reminded of my blues harmonica phase...maybe a Hub there. Golf, lessons, three times, gave up three times...I was awful.

Great writing and humor with this hub, a good way to start my day.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Julie!

Thank you, sweet friend, for making me feel good about myself. Words DO have power. And yes, I will do that for you--getting my guitar now . . .let me tune this . . .okay. (to the tune of Beatles "Let It Be") . . ."When life beats me up so gen-U-ine-llly, I read some words from "Ju-LIE, She's TRU-ly, good to me . . ." Ouch, my fingers are tender.

Was that okay?

Take care and Please, come back often.

KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Angela,

And to you too, "Thank you, sincerely," for your heart-felt comment that I will cherish from now on."

I mean it.

I am feeling somewhat emotionally-overwhelmed now at the number of sweet remarks, so I will go and regroup.

Thanks again, Anglea.

Love ya, KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, TommyGuns . . .oh, Mary Ann, was MORE than hot in her day. I would have walked 50 miles to be with her. But I was in better shape when she was on TV. I always wondered by Gilligan, who was more her age on the island, never dated her even though the date would have just been to walk down the island, talk under the moon light and sip coconut juice that the Professor had fermented with one of his newest inventions. Ahhh, to have helped write this show.

KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, b.Malin,

you are a very kind soul to have said this about me. I wish I could repay ALL Of my Terrific Followers, but the riches haven't found me yet, but when they do . . .so long, HubPages and WE ALL will head down to Key West and do some NON-WRITING, and just relax.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Catgypsy,

Thank you, Dear Friend, for your sweet and profound remark. How I would have rescued Mary Ann, well here is my example: I would have found her by promising Mark Cuban, the billionaire-owner of the San Antonio Spurs of the NBA, to give him full-rights to my personal story of pain, love and finally fulfillment to meet Dawn Wells. He would, of course, sell my story and keep the money. Meanwhile as his Bell helicopter sits idling on the sandy beach of the island, I have met the castaways and sent them to the copter, but I WILL KEEP MARY ANN BACK and have a personal talk with her. By now, Mark has remembered OUR agreement, and flew off WITHOUT Mary Ann and me. What luck! On a deserted island with Dawn Wells . . .what shall I do . . .???

KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, xstatic,

my friend, thanks for your comment that I appreciate so much. YOU have accomplished more than me and heard more of these 12 things than I have. I might just start guitar work again. But man, how out of practice I am.

Kenneth


Ellen Karman profile image

Ellen Karman 4 years ago from medina, Ohio

Dear Kenneth, Wow, I found such sincerity, humor and regret in your sincere words - but, seems we writers are the worlds observers of those that live the kind of lives we wish we could have certain parts of. I know everyone has a list of I wish.... and I too have a one, after twenty-two years of marriage, I wish my husband would hold my hand and say lovely things to me. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever hear those things. I'm forty-five so I too have some regrets and wondering's in my life as I lay awake at night. I'd love to be called "honey" just once in my life other than by my Mum! You write a powerful, piece that gets one thinking. God bless you in all endeavors and hey from what I've read, I think you are wonderful! Ellen


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

My Dear Ellen,

Wow, what a kind, caring and honest remark. I will cherish this as time goes by. I have NEVER received such a comment as yours. Thank you so much, Ellen. And you are right. This piece does have a mixture of sincerity, humor and regret in the flow. I just couldn't resist publishing something personal of how I really feel.

I am sorry that your husband doesn't consider you his "girl," and tell you the sweet things a girl loves to hear. I wish I could fix this for you for I would be honored to help you.

Would a "thank you, sweetie," from me help? I hope so, for in your comment I too sense regret, sadness and depression. Am I right?

Thanks again, Ellen, for taking time to read and comment on this hub. And I think you are GREAT also.

Your Friend,

Kenneth

PS: write me anytime and I promise to listen and reply.


Ellen Karman profile image

Ellen Karman 4 years ago from medina, Ohio

Dear Kenneth, what a kind letter you wrote! Yes you are very correct in you sense! And, the "thank you sweetie" is very, very much appreciated! Thank you for wanting to fix things for me. I think with the writing and getting to know great people like you on here shall help me work out the changes I feel in my life. I have my youngest going off to college, and working on my book. I look forward to reading and conversing with you on here! Thank you Kenneth, your writing really touched areas in my life I haven't given thought about until recently then reading you "Twelve Things Never Said To Me," got me thinking again. Well, thank you kind Sir, Ellen

PS: Thank you for your kind offer of writing anytime and you please feel free to do the same!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

August 13

Dearest Ellen,

"Sincerely . . .thank YOU, for this warm and heart-touching comment." "I don't think that I've ever received one as sweet as this and I am moved again to say, "thank you," and I will do that. Write you sometime, but you got to reply. Okay?"

"and I do hope things get smoother for you, for you seem so sensitive, caring and not a mean bone in your body. I can sense these things."

"If you arent following me, I cordially invite YOU to do so. That would make my day complete."

Your Genuine Friend,

Kenneth


Ellen Karman profile image

Ellen Karman 4 years ago from medina, Ohio

Dear Kenneth, I look forward to you writing me and I most certainly reply! I am following you and look forward to more of your writings - I love how you write with such raw honesty! That's what got me thinking and why I had to reply to you. We are now friends and that has really made my day! Do you need my email ? Thank you Kenneth,

Your Grateful Friend,

Ellen Karman


susiebrown48 profile image

susiebrown48 4 years ago from Clearwater, FL

Kenneth I love your style! Your elegant comments are like dessert after the perfect meal of your hub. As the recipient of many urgently begged, "Susie will you please stop singing"'s and holder of the 15 minute mile running accolade, I share your pain.

I have had the occasion to be invited all expenses paid to private islands however and let me tell you, the experience is overrated. There inevitably is SOME price to be paid, I've found ;-)

I would respectfully like to submit, however, that 58 is not dead and the opportunity to have someone rock your world still lies easily in your grasp - please do not give up the ghost on this one!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Ellen,

Thank you so very much for the sweet comment and your following. Yes, I do and will read ALL of your emails. I am mostly a reader, but I love to reply to my followers when they write. You have such a talent for writing that I think that you need to pursue the idea of doing some books. Honest.

Your Friend, KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Dear Susie,

Wow, what can I possibly say to follow this comment? Thank you so much. That is nice of you to say. The 15-minute running acolade is very painful, but "we" have survived.

And thank you sincerely for what you said about "58 not being dead," I will dwell on THAT for a long time to come, and for the last part, NOT TOO LATE for someone to rock my world, well, Susie, you are a sweet girl for saying that, and I am saying this with all due respect to you. I will also dwell ON THIS for a long time as well. I think you might have just inspired another hub for me to do...and I WILL give YOU the credit at the top when its published. I promise.

Kenneth


Ellen Karman profile image

Ellen Karman 4 years ago from medina, Ohio

Thank you Kenneth, I am working on a book and hope to get it all together this year! Thank you for giving confidence!!! I needed that boost today! Ellen


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Ellen,

"it is MY PLEASURE, believe me." "keep me posted on how you are coming for I would love to correspond with you. Okay?"

Your Friend,

Kenneth


Ellen Karman profile image

Ellen Karman 4 years ago from medina, Ohio

Kenneth, I look forward to our corresponding! It's funny how you meet people right when you are supposed to!

Thank you, Ellen


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest Ellen,

I do too, look forward to hearing from and replying to you. And I agree. It is funny how WE MET and WERE supposed to. I like that. Keep in touch, my GOOD friend.

Kenneth


Debra Emerson 4 years ago

You are funny and you have lots of friends that care about you. Me included.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Debra,

That is so sweet and kind. I have been BLESSED by God, to have lots of friends, including YOU. I cannot begin to thank Him for all He has given me in this life. I am too guilty of not, at least, trying to thank Him on a daily basis.

Be good and thank you.

Kenneth

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