14 Reasons Why Guys Should Drive Tractors When Dating Pretty Girls
Time for me to start with a serious remark. This hub is not a knock, bash, or making fun of a certain website where girls can meet guys who own farms and are looking for dates. I would mention the name, but I am not about to arouse the wrath of Kristy, Camille, and Matt, editors for HubPages telling me that my mentioning of "the" dating website being "too commercial."
I am a team player, a loyalist, and proud American. I love HubPages and my wonderful followers. I say this because in a few moments when you reach the topic of this piece, you might have a tendency to allow a thought enter your mind that I am "not playing with a full deck." I cannot stop you from thinking this, or anything else about me, but I can explain to you that I am as sane as any of the Three Stooges ever dreamed to be.
I Have to Wonder . . .
about a hub that I published (before this one) entitled, "I Love Emily Blunt," and now with "this" hub going on HubPages, I wonder if the lovely, alluring, sexy, Emily Blunt would climb into the cab of my $350,000.00 tractor.
Emily Blunt? Climb? Sure. With my assistance.
I am not a brute.
14 Reasons Why Guys Should Drive Tractors When Dating Pretty Girls
14.) You Can Use - - your tractor on your date as a teaching tool. Yes. Many hot girls secretly want to learn new things. So teaching a hot date how to plow a field is a new thing and you can teach her something new about farming on each date. You see, farm guys. A tractor is far more than nuts, bolts, and fluids.
13.) You Will Get - - a new nick-name on the very first date you drive your tractor to pick up the hot girl who works in the video rental store. Your real name might be, "Johann Wilby," but after people see you on your tractor with a hot girl crawling all over you, your nick-name will be: "Mr. Cool." I promise.
12.) Music Video - - producers are always on the look-out for what's hot in today's music industry. Country Music is hot right now and so are guys who are seen driving their tractors on dates. I wouldn't put it past a powerful music video producer discovering you and your date and offering you the lead in his next Country Music video. Wilder things have happened. We live in America. The land of opportunity.
11.) Acceptance - - of why you drive your tractor on your dates will lead you to gain acceptance by your "city" friends and non-friends alike. If you start hearing loudmouths poking fun at "the farm boy on the tractor," just look sternly into his face and say, "so as you disrespect me, you are disrespecting the very men and women who keep you in food. Right, bud?" When you say this in front of a huge crowd, the jerk will be shamed and walk off and the crowd will let go a round of loud applause.
10.) Instant Respect - - in today's sensitive and tolerant society, I say that any male who starts up with any guy riding a tractor with a pretty girl is going nuts. As a rule, farm guys drive tractors and smart aleck guys, farming guys have a built-in gym: manual labor in big fields. Get my drift?
9.) Follow Your Own Path - - in 2016. Guys, it's time for you who have lived and worked on farms to "come out of the shadows." We tolerate anyone and everything in America, so why not be true to your lifestyle of being a farmer and driving your tractor to tell people (and your pretty date) that you are on your own path and your own man.
8.) Instant Attention - - will automatically be yours when you and your date show up riding in the cab of a fully-furnished commercial farm tractor. Today's tractors are "not your grandpa's tractor." No. Today's tractors have Sirus XM radio, GPS, CB Radios, computers, air conditioning, power steering and more goodies. Who's to say that farm guys should only drive their pick-up trucks to pick up their hot dates?
7.) More Girls - - will want to date you, my farm boy friends. My own daughter revealed a guarded female secret years ago. "girls want what they cannot have." So, farm guys, there you are riding around town on your super-sleek tractor while a gorgeous brunette sits as your side with a smile as wide as Grand Canyon. Before long, other hot girls will be wanting to be "her."
6.) Social Status - - is easier made with a farm tractor than with a BMW. Any guy can get a BMW if he and the banker are old college buddies, but any farm guy who drives a powerful diesel farm tractor is saying, "it takes big bucks to operate this machine, so give me the respect I deserve."
5.) There Is Something - - really beautiful when a pretty girl climbs down from a huge farm tractor into the waiting arms of her date dressed in an expensive tux. Need I go further?
4.) Girls Love - - to be seen with a popular, muscular farm guy who has made his money honestly. Not to imply that other jobs are dishonest, but when a hot girl sees a good-looking guy with sweat on his forehead and his denim shirt also soaked with sweat from working in the hot sun, it's all magical, I have read years ago. Note: "I" was never a farm guy as like the one in this talking point.
3.) Talk of The Town - - is what you will be overnight when you take your sweet date to a drive-in movie. Believe me, guys. You will have no problem finding a parking place.
2.) Romantic Places - - can be reached faster on a farm tractor than in a Mercedes Benz. Try taking a Mercedes into a wooded area to get to "that' secluded place for romance to happen. You will end up stuck in the mud, your date shouting at you and you will be calling a tow truck to get you and your date home. And that will do it for dating "that" one girl who endured the humiliation of actually being "stuck" in woods with you.
1.) You Can Be - - a good neighbor and date your pretty girl at the same time. For example: You and your date finish dinner and want to take a ride in the moonlight. You simply let down the cab on your tractor and there you are. Having the time of your life, but suddenly, you see an elderly guy whose car has stalled on the side of a road near a dangerous neighborhood. You simply hitch your tractor to his car and off you go helping him to get home and taking his car to the shop. This action alone will make your pretty date lose herself in adoration for you being so good-hearted.
Note: farm guys, as an added tool to keep your hot date desiring your attention, you might want to learn, "Thank God, "I'm a Country Boy," by the late John Denver.
Well, it couldn't hurt.
Guys, hot girls love tractors as proven in this video
© 2016 Kenneth Avery
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