20 Things Husbands Should Never Say to Their Wives

Wives are to submit to their husbands, baby.
Wives are to submit to their husbands, baby. | Source

Dear men

I have nothing against men. Really. It's just that they think and see the world (and women) so differently. But sometimes they need a little help along the way with considerate attitudes and ways to communicate with their wives or girlfriends. And in all fairness, women have some serious communication issues as well. But that's another hub. So men, step lively and pay attention, you just may avoid catastrophe and find amazing joy in your marriage by honoring your wife.

Why are you looking at me like that?  I thought you'd love to go fishing for vacation.
Why are you looking at me like that? I thought you'd love to go fishing for vacation. | Source

Love...does not dishonor others. It does not demand its own way...

— 1 Corinthians 13:5

Demanding your role and hers to suit selfish purposes

  1. "The Bible says wives should submit to their husbands?" It's true, the Bible says this. But when you say it, it means you are selfishly demanding to have your way regardless of her feelings or the wisdom of it. By the way, the Bible also says we are to submit to one another (Eph. 5:21).
  2. "Housework is your job, I go to work." Your wife may have assumed the role of keeper of the home by mutual agreement and understanding, but what you are saying here is that you work and she doesn't, and likely she simply asked you pick up your dirty underwear and wet towels off the bathroom floor, of which you are too lazy to do.
  3. "I work hard all day. It's your job to handle the kids." Really? Since you are so knowledgeable of the Bible, you ought to know the role God has for fathers and being the head of the home.
  4. "This is my house, I pay the bills." Death sentence guys. While you are paying the bills with the money you earned, your wife as been keeping the house up (her name is also on the mortgage) and serving her family with love to make the house a home.
  5. "I'd love to spend time with you and the kids today, but I work hard all week and I need time with the guys." You just told a big whopper. You wouldn't love to spend time with them and that is why you are going out all the time on the weekends.
  6. "Why are you looking at me like that? I did the hard part and caught the fish, it's your job to clean it."
  7. "Thank you," after intimacy. It wasn't a service to meet your needs like a call girl.

It was only $1,200. I thought you'd be happy.
It was only $1,200. I thought you'd be happy. | Source

Selfish decisions without consultation are disrespectful

8. "It was only $1,200. I thought you'd be happy I bought a new TV." Making expensive purchases without consulting her and trying to make it look like you did it for her and the kids is disrespecting her partnership with you.
9. "Why are you mad? Every boy should have a BB gun at his age." Once again you did not consult her and likely she has expressed in the past her disapproval for little boys and BB gun.
10. "I don't get it, I thought you'd love to go hunting for vacation." You know better. If you don't, it's because you're selfish.

How have you answered the question "Honey, does this make me look fat?"

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Inconsiderate last minute invitations

11. "I invited the boss and a couple of the office guys over for football tonight. Can you get some pizza, beer, and chips? (This is after she's already prepared a tasty dinner for two). What a great inconvenience to your wife. And if she ends up bending to your will, you might at least be gracious enough to go out and get your own snacks, or clean up before and after your party.

12. "I invited mom to come spend the week. She'll be here in an hour." You better hope your wife and mother adore each other. Even so, it's a lot of running around getting things ready. And if they don't get along, you are creating a very stressful situation which could get hostile and cause great division for all concerned. Back to your Bible knowledge...a man should leave his mother and father and cleave unto his wife.

13. "I invited Ed to stay a few days, his wife kicked him out. He won't be any trouble." He will be and so will you be.

Insulting your wife's body and looks

14. Never say "yes" when she asks if what she's wearing makes her look fat. Don't even say, "Only a little."

15. "Honey, you don't need to cry, you know I love big women. There's more to love." When she cries because the scale gave her bad news, don't say this. A woman's body image is very important to her. Find a different way to affirm her with your words and actions.

16. "Is it that time of month?" If she is irritable, never ask her this or you are cruisin' for a bruisin'. It greatly demeans her womanhood.

17. "Did you forget to shave your legs?"

18. "You'd look so sexy in this," Never bring home sexy lingerie to your middle aged, overweight wife and say this, and when she does wear it say, "Hmm, it didn't look that way on the Victoria's Secret Model." This is utterly humiliating.

19. "You look beautiful, honey. How come you don't look that way all the time?" When your wife comes home with a surprise glamour shots photograph for you, or she's dressed to the nines for an elegant banquet for your work, never say this. Do you look like a dashing hunk every day? (Never mind. Don't answer that, Romeo).

20. "Why don't you consider getting breast implants?" This leaves a deep wound in many women.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

— Ephesians 5:25

© 2012 Lori Colbo

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Comments 13 comments

lifegate profile image

lifegate 4 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

Lori,

You must be related to Solomon. Those are some of the wisest words I've ever heard. I just wish I had heard them sooner--oh well, better late than never! Now I need to commit them to memory.


lambservant 4 years ago

Don't worry LG, Every day God' gives us a new start. He knows your heart and your wife will too when she sees change. Bless you.


kat11 profile image

kat11 4 years ago from Illinois

Unfortunately men not all men hve trouble with this type of communication. It definitely has some very important points in this hub. Great work! voted up


Angela Blair profile image

Angela Blair 4 years ago from Central Texas

Lambservant -- not only sage advice but well written and interesting Hub. Definitely voted up! Best/Sis


petenali profile image

petenali 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Read somewhere that the answer to the "Does this make me look fat?" question should be, "No, your fat makes you look fat!" I'm thinking that for any guy that said that it might just be last words they ever uttered...lol.


lambservant profile image

lambservant 4 years ago from Pacific Northwest Author

Ha ha pete, you are definitely right. I wouldn't try it. Thanks for stopping by.


Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 4 years ago from Upstate New York

I definitely got a chuckle over this. I imagine all the guys with red faces who can recall making some of these faux pas with their wives!


MargaritaEden profile image

MargaritaEden 4 years ago from Oregon

Lori, these are wonderful and funny! Oh, and so true, I will share this hub.


lambservant profile image

lambservant 4 years ago from Pacific Northwest Author

thank you Margarita. Funny the things we say to the ones we love.


stclairjack profile image

stclairjack 4 years ago from middle of freekin nowhere,... the sticks

#'s 20, 18, 16, 13, 8 & 3..... first husband

#'s 3, 5, 6, 9, 10, 11 (hapily sent him on weekend with guys) 12 & 13..... second husband.

not getting married again..... have a long term boyfriend that knows exactly how to say,.. "that was deliscious, your beautiful"... and then he goes home.


lambservant profile image

lambservant 4 years ago from Pacific Northwest Author

You are funny stclairjack. I am no longer married either and plan to stay that way unless or until the Lord tells me otherwise. BTW, I think you were married to my ex your first time around. I love living alone with my dog. Since she'll always be a dog, I don't have to try to be the woman she thinks I am.


poppyr profile image

poppyr 2 years ago from Tokyo, Japan

Men actually say these things to their wives? Yeah, I'm never ever getting married.


lambservant profile image

lambservant 2 years ago from Pacific Northwest Author

Poppyr, smart girl. I was married once and don't plan on doing it again. But in all fairness, women say things to men that are just as bad. That's another hub I wrote.

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