Thirty and single. Part 4 - inner sexuality
It only occurred to me now that I do not proof-read these hubs. Even more, I do not read them - I only write them. This way it all comes from the heart - so don't get angry if you find a missing letter ;)
In Part 3 I tried to describe what I call "outter sexuality" - the way you look, dress and everything. Now here comes another part of it all, the part that plays the most significant role in the game called love - that something that can be defined as "inner sexuality".
Some people are more attractive to opposite sex than the others. It's just the law of nature, natural selection, undisputable. And if that law does not show any mercy on you, can you do something about it? I think the answer is yes.
We are all born equal, right? Ok, our genes differ, what later in life means we have different looks, sizes, shapes, voice, skin colour, etc. But we are all born basically to raise our own children and thus extend the existence of mankind. Keeping in mind we were born because someone (our parents) long time ago had sex eventually leads to a conclusion that every single man and woman on Earth has an in-built mechanism, programmed to attract opposite sex. That is, we are all born with the same "charge".
Question: why then certain people seem to be more sexually attractive to opposite sex than others? In addition, you could not say that only 90-60-90 gets the most points - attractive people come in all shapes, colours and sizes. So what's the secret?
Background: when I was in my early teens, my classmates used to give me quite a hard time. I was the one who had to take on "jokes" from the cool ones, who never understood their language, never dressed like them, etc. Ugly Betty story, which has nearly ended quite sad - I tried to committ suicide. Fortunately, attempt was unsuccessful, but that fact itself changed me a lot. Shortly after that I noticed that I started getting some attention just out on the street. Few years after that I put on my first mini - still remember that day... And it did not take two years more that heads were turning when I passed by, attempts to chat me up in the street came as standart, and I became "the cool lady in high heels", who everyone would like to date. A true Scorpio, if someone's interested in astrology.
Having gone through all of that I can say there is no secret in attracting opposite sex than simply... LETTING yourself do that. Not blocking your sexuality from yourself in the first place, not denying it and not trying to suppress it. Accepting it as part of your life. It forms a new mindset, and eventually a new you. Why and how people suppress it - a variety of reasons and ways, starting from strict parents, finiishing with bad first experiences.
A paradox, but not your looks enhance your inner sexuality or your sexuality in general, but your inner attractiveness changes the way you look, the way you present yourself, walk, talk, etc. It gives you an additional boost to your confidence - and confidence is sexy, right? One is a backup for the other, or in other words - start the process and be careful to know where the brakes are ;)
When you see that men are attracted to you, you change a lot over time. You get used to that attention, and might become an attention-addict. And what if you get into the accident and are left crippled for life? Open question.
When you know you're attractive, it's like suddenly realizing you have some power. And most of the times you use it, either consciously or unconsciously. Changes that you make without realizing you've made them - your voice becomes lower, you start swaying your hips when you walk, your posture changes. When you're "hunting", your moves are like in a slowed-down movie. You suddenly know how to sit down, how to stand at the bar, how to look around and when to stop your eyes... well, you get the idea ;) This looks like a lot of things, but they all happen without me even noticing that. It's that simple - you do not have to do anything in order to be attractive and seductive, just be yourself and enjoy.
The latter - ENJOY - is a must. If you don't get any satisfaction from being attractive, most of the times you won't be attractive in the first place. It's fun anyway, so why shouldn't you just accept it? :D
When I was a teenager, I used to think that attraction is something on fine energy levels and it comes from clash of contradictions in person's character. The more contradictions the one has, the harder they "fight", the more energy is released, what attracts others as a result. Now I do not think that way anymore, because that seems more like describing some sort of psychological disorder than sexuality. Personality disorders, especially borderline, might be attractive due to passionate nature of everyting such person does, but it's not that inner sexuality I'm talking about.
Inner sexuality, or attractiveness, or power of seduction is something that shines through everything and opposite sex tend to nearly physically smell it. Men start behaving quite weird when facing it - they are afraid of it, but at the same time attracted to such woman. They start their doubts whether to approach her, and... well, we've already talked about what happens to the ones who think too long ;)
Conclusion - every one of us has that inner sexuality, built-in as a default program. It's our choice whether to use it or (sometimes) uninstall it completely.