5 Long Distance Relationship Ideas: Advice You Don't Want to Miss

Whether your love is on the other side of the world or just in the next town, it's not easy.
Whether your love is on the other side of the world or just in the next town, it's not easy.

Reasons for Long Distance Relationships

Years ago, a long distance relationship would not likely survive but with the advent of the internet, cheap calling cards and more options for travel, let's just say that your chances of making it through to the other side have improved. Here are a couple of reasons why you might find yourself in a long distance relationship:

  • you met your long distance boyfriend or girlfriend on an online dating site
  • you met your love while traveling and now you're back home but he or she is still there
  • you've had to move to go to college or for a new job and your boyfriend or girlfriend can't move with you
  • you're in the military and your husband or wife is away on assignment

It's not easy (duh!)

If you're in a long distance relationship, you already know that it's not easy. However, this does not mean that it can't be done and that your love can't survive. It does takes a special kind of relationship to make it work though. If you're really in love, can't see yourself with anyone else and want to make it work, here are 5 long distance relationship ideas.

Consider it advice that you and your partner pretty much need to follow if you expect your relationship to last!

Why are you and your partner in a long distance relationship?

  • We met online
  • We met through travel
  • We met at home, then one of us had to move for school or work
  • One of us is in the military
  • Other
See results without voting

1. Communication is key

While good communication is important in any relationship, it is especially important in the long distance kind. Why? You can't use body language to help convey to your partner what you're thinking/feeling, so you really have to make sure that you express it in words that he or she can understand. For example, in person you might be able to use sarcasm but depending on your relationship, it might be trickier to pull off in e-mail or on the phone.

Oh, and you know how in person your partner might be able to catch on when you say something like "it doesn't matter" even when it really does matter to you? This is also potentially much trickier to pull off in the long distance relationship. The point is that in a long distance relationship, you really need to...

"Say what you mean, and mean what you say!"

How should we communicate?

  • Phone and e-mail are the best ways to communicate in a long distance relationship. Snail mail letters are a nice way to mix it up too and to show a bit more personal attention.
  • E-mail is often more convenient (not to mention cheaper!), especially if you have several time zones between you. Each of you can just send off an e-mail whenever it fits your schedule, even if the other person is already in bed or is still at work, etc. Your partner will then be able to read the e-mail whenever it fits her schedule. Don't get stuck in a rut of always sending the short, quick e-mails either. Remember to write your sweetie a long love letter type e-mail sometimes too!
  • While e-mail might be more convenient, regular phone calls are really important too. Hearing each other's voice creates closeness and intimacy. Try not to multi-task too much when you're on the phone with your partner. He will be able to tell if you're doing a million other things too or if he really has your 100% undivided attention. It makes a difference!
  • Skype! You have probably already discovered this but if you haven't, you really should be using it. It's wonderful to be able to see your boyfriend on your computer screen, to hear his voice while you're looking at him, to see his smile, hear his laugh and maybe even manage to look into each other's eyes (weird, huh?).

How often should we communicate?

  • It's really up to you and your partner but daily is best. In order to pull it off, you might have to set up "phone dates" to co-ordinate your schedules. That little bit of planning can mean the difference between being able to talk that day and not.

This woman is green with envy, worrying that her long distance boyfriend could be cheating on her because he said he was going to call at 10pm and it is now 10:15pm. She really needs to relax and show a bit of trust!
This woman is green with envy, worrying that her long distance boyfriend could be cheating on her because he said he was going to call at 10pm and it is now 10:15pm. She really needs to relax and show a bit of trust!

2. Don't be jealous. Trust is paramount.

Sure, it can be hard. Remember that it's not easy. But you can't constantly be worrying that your partner is out cheating on you or you will go crazy and it will eat away at your relationship. If your partner tells you that he is going out with friends or that he has to work late, believe him. Of course, if your gut is really telling you that there might be something going on, have a talk with him about it (this goes back to communication). Don't be paranoid, don't be smoothering, don't make your partner feel like you don't trust him.

On the flip side of this, one has to be deserving of trust. If you tell your partner that you're going out with friends, make sure that they really are just friends! Don't lie to your partner or it will come back to haunt you. Your relationship is worth more than that.

3. Keep the romance alive

It definitely takes more creativity and thinking outside the box in order to keep the romance alive in your long distance relationship. Physical affection is not an option so you have to do your best to replace it with something else until you see each other again. Call your girlfriend just to tell her you love her or write her one of those long mushy e-mails that truly come from your heart.

Send your love a care package in the mail full of things she loves. Include a hand-written letter from you and your favorite photo of you and her together in a frame. Put in a CD of songs that are meaningful to the two of you and if you don't have any, make her a CD of the songs you love so she can think of you when she listens to it.

It's hard but try not to get stuck in a rut. Remember that you love each other and while it's easy to start taking each other for granted, it is something that can spell disaster.

4. Know when you will see each other next

It can be overwhelming to be missing your lover, not knowing when you will see him next, not knowing when you can hold him in your arms again and kiss him and make love with him until the sun comes up. Yes, I am speaking from personal experience here! Yes, it is hard! But I will tell you that it helps if you know that you will be able to see your partner again in "x" amount of time because then you can begin the countdown in your mind.

Even if you and your partner can't pinpoint an exact date, the more you can narrow it down, the better. Will it be this season? Next season? Will it be the month of October? November? Talk it over, work it out.

When you don't have at least an approximate date in your mind, you can start thinking that maybe you'll never see each other again and that is not a very nice feeling.


5. Have an end in sight

Unless you enjoy not being together physically, you must be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Whether it's a few months, few years, whatever - most long distance relationships likely will not last forever if you are not eventually together in person. This is another thing that comes down to communication. It can be hard, but try to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to this. Are you going to move there? Is he moving here? These are some of the things you need to work out. You might not have the answers overnight but continue to keep the lines of communication open about it and don't allow your relationship to settle at the long distance stage unless that is where you and your partner want it to be.

Good luck! I'd love to hear from you below about your thoughts on long distance relationships.

I hope these long distance relationship ideas have helped you!

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Comments 30 comments

runaway profile image

runaway 6 years ago

im in a long distance relationship for over a year..my hubby is abroad an im home... imagine that??? recently im gettin fed up of all of it....i just got off the video chat and had a major fight with him... i don't know wats wrong with me anymore....he says he's been cheating on me am i supposed to just forgive him and move on as if it didn't happen or wat? im so screwed


PurpleOne profile image

PurpleOne 6 years ago from Canada Author

runaway - aww, I'm so sorry you're going through that pain. :( All I know is that trust is the foundation of any relationship and I know you know that too. Trust is a hard thing to get back once it's gone but even after cheating, some couples can get it back. All the best to you.. Be kind to yourself.


Mamelody profile image

Mamelody 6 years ago

runaway am sorry to read that too. I'm also in a long distant relationship and it sucks badly! I talk to my hubby everyday too but we haven't got to the stage of fighting yet and I'm hoping it wont reach that.

I really don't how you're relationship has been before he cheated so I would only tell to weigh the circumstances. Is he worth hanging to despite his stupid mistake? Can you get over him quickly and move on?

I hope you work it out though as it really sucks when someone cheats on you.


Sally Vanhauten profile image

Sally Vanhauten 6 years ago from Singapore

Ya I do agree, it's difficult to maintain a long distance relationship. Trust is important.


Heather Paige 6 years ago

I recently met a wonderful guy online, on a dating site. Hes in the military, but not deployed to a warzone. We talk daily, but the stress of not being able to meet and spend time together is getting very difficult. Neither of us have the extra money to fly right now, with children and bills, and well LIFE...hes getting very discouraged. Im not so much, Ive waited a long time for the right person so if it means I have to wait, then Im ok with that. But how do you deal with the other person who is impatient and is getting discouraged and feels like it will never happen? Im saving, but it takes time. What do you do in this situation?


lilclassyone profile image

lilclassyone 6 years ago

i really wish i would have come across this article over a year ago when i was dating an airman. now it seems a little hard to get it back to the way it was, i left because it was hard for me... i was dealing with insecurities & jealousy. my girlfriends didn`t understand because they were never in a military relationship but stupid me, i listened to them & allowed them to influence me. looking back on it for over a year now, i may have lost the one guy that i love who loved me back.

great tips . beautiful advice .


Jessica 6 years ago

my boyfriend and i have a really complicated situation. He moved to Washington, and im in Texas. At first, I was trying to get over him, (we had never dated, although i love him very much). however, he kept coming back to Texas. I couldn't think about anyone else, but him. even when he was away. Once he visited, and we finally decided, it was best for both of us, to be together, even if it meant spending some time apart. Now he visits on the holidays, and ect. He will be moving back soon, & i think thats why we are able to stay strong. Most of my friends don't understand the situation. They believe the physical part in a relationship, is important. I too, believe this. But i love him so much, and don't see myself wanting anyone else. For anyone, who may be having doubts about a long distance relationship. IT WILL WORK. just have a little faith in the man/woman you love. trust eachother, and be happy that your making the impossible, possible :)


MissDott 6 years ago

Hy.. I'm in a L.D.R. too,for a year and a half now,we're engaged...he's in Russia,I'm in Croatia... It's ooh sow hard,but I realy do believe we'll make it through,U can manage It if you realy try hard-both of you ofc. ...Everybody's saying-,,you can't manage it,you will not make it,don't trust him i meen he's soo far away he'll definitely cheat on you''..You know what I say to them?!-grow up! It's not like everybody's like you!! We CAN and we WILL manage it! I believe in us,in our love... I believe in -you 2 ! Who ever you may be! :) Good luck ..


ankunda 6 years ago

some times i really wonder why long distance relationship fails


Skewdlogic 6 years ago

Great advise. Thanks for sharing. :)


PurpleOne profile image

PurpleOne 6 years ago from Canada Author

@Heather Paige - It's so hard to know what to do in your situation. The thing with long distance relationships, as with any relationship, is that it really takes constant mutual effort in order to make it work. It's understandable why your sweetie is frustrated and negative but that is hard on you and your relationship. I would say - give it a bit of time, continue to love him and support him, but give him a bit of space to try to work through this. Not too much space but don't smother him! Eventually if he doesn't snap out of it, then you will have to decide if you perhaps want to move on. But if you've found someone you're really in love with, like I said, give it a bit of time and don't give up too easily. If he snaps out of this, there may be a time in the future where you're a bit more negative yourself and need his support. Good luck!


PurpleOne profile image

PurpleOne 6 years ago from Canada Author

@lilclassyone - well, chances are you still may have done the right thing anyway. If you'd felt your relationship was really truly right, you'd have been less likely to let your friends sway you on your decision. But I agree - friends CANNOT understand your long distance relationship unless they have been through one themselves. All the best to you!

@Jessica - thanks for the comment. Definitely, you just can't expect your friends to understand your long distance relationship and I know that is frustrating because I'm going through it myself.

@MissDott - I agree with you, cheating does not have to happen in a long distance relationship and won't if the two of you indeed have a really good relationship. Good luck!


Jasmine JellyBaby 6 years ago

I'm so glad am not the only one who suffers the curse of a long distance relationship. I met my boyfriend online and he's miles away from me and as time goes by its killing me and lately I've been finding myself becoming so mean and angry at him (and I blame it on PMS) and then afterwards I go cry lol.

Thank you for writing this, it has renewed my hope that I'll see him again soon. I'm sure lots of people in this situation will benefit from this.


Becky Mages profile image

Becky Mages 6 years ago from Omaha,NE

Great hub. With the advent of the internet in recent years long distance relationships are more and more popular. Great tips and advice!


RegineICC profile image

RegineICC 6 years ago from Cavite, Philippines

Hello! Very nice hub. Im also in a relationship and he is miles away from me. He is in a military, we've been together for almost 2 years and I miss him so bad. For now, we haven't any communication. He is always out of coverage!!!


PurpleOne profile image

PurpleOne 6 years ago from Canada Author

@Jasmine JellyBaby - LOL, I do the same thing - I get so mad, blame it on PMS, get in fights with my long distance boyfriend and then just go cry afterwards! Ahhhh, it's so tough! :( But then I and we snap out of it and it gets good again and that's what makes it all worthwhile. I hope for you too! Hopefully you get to see your man again soon!

@Becky Mages - thanks for the comment. Yes, long distance relationships are becoming more and more popular. They're definitely more socially acceptable than they used to be but when you're in one, it can still be pretty hard trying to find friends or family who can relate to you..

@RegineICC - My heart goes out to you! I would think it would be extremely stressful not to have any communication with your love. I wish you the best of luck and that the wait will be worth it for you! :)


RegineICC profile image

RegineICC 6 years ago from Cavite, Philippines

Yeah.. That's the best thing I can do for now. I'll wait for him no matter what.

Very nice hub!!!


joyce.blue 5 years ago

It is very hard to maintain a good long distance relationship especially if one of you cannot hold on and there are so many temptations out there. It's sad to say that many relationships did not last because of lack of trust.


Arie 5 years ago

this was really helpful!

though I can't help but get a little paranoid. Plus, ever since I started being in a long distance relationship one of my best friends thinks that I've changed and that I don't care about her anymore, though, in fact I'm acting the same way as I always have? ...meh.. paranoia..


pocketinvites profile image

pocketinvites 5 years ago

Constant communication really helps, but I guess it doesn't work for me. That hurts!


Ditzy  5 years ago

My boyfriend, whom I am completely in love with, and him with me, had just gotten expelled from the school we are attending. Right now, I believe, he's on a plane on his way back to Hong Kong, and me, in China ( and yes we are both living in countries which we are not from) Before he had left, we had clearly established that we are going to make the long distance relationship work, yet I can't help but to doubt the results of this thought... As we are both young, meeting each other is not as easy as it would be if we were older, and did not have to worry about parents or education. I am planning to meet him in Hong Kong in a few weeks,... however.. this is uncertain. Please give me advice on how to keep our relationship alive, as I do not want to loose my boo


ruby ann 5 years ago

thanks a lot...

it helps me a lot...


lovebug 5 years ago

i was in a LDR for like 4 yrs.. but i went to visit my bf everytime i can.. first year we were in a LDR.. i was away for 6 months then came back to see him for 6 months..then left for 6 months again..then visited him for 5 months.. and then i left for 13 months coz i was studying.. went home for 23 days.. then left again.. away for 7 months then visited him for 7 days coz of some problems that i just didn't wanna talk about over the phone or the net.. then left for 7 months....(in that 7 days we were so happy.. promised each other that we're not gonna talk about the past anymore.. he made stupid mistakes to tell you guys) like flirting with younger girls.. i'm only 24 now.. and he's flirting with 18 yr old girls.. i know it's only for fun .. as long as there was no emotional and physical attachment (like sex) anyway.. now ..after 4 yrs of being in the LDR.. we are together.. and i feel so happy..

but it's not just happiness... you know why? last year when i went to see him for 7 days.. the reason why i did that 1. i was so desperate to see him and feel him and be with him... 2.he was honest enough to tell me that he didn't wanna hurt me anymore through his "flirting" and "lying" he said there's no one else but he's not sure anymore if i'm the ONE forever... we had wedding plans..supposed to be in 2012.. but last year.. it all changed.. coz i kept leaving.. but i told him i didn't leave to have fun... i was studying and all that.. he understands..it's just that he's a guy..they get lonely easily..

now we're together.. we are happy... i don't wanna go anywhere.. i'm actually supposed to leave after 6 months..but i don't wanna think about it yet..

but though we are happy now.. he's still not ready to get married..and i respect that.. i am in no rush .. i will wait.. (he doesn't know this side.. all he knows is that it's ok with me coz we are still young.. and we can't do it yet..) i didn't wanna let him know i'm waiting..coz it's pressure.. i am not really expecting .. but he's still the one i wanna be with.. omgosh..i think i'm having oral diarrhea here .. hahahahaha anyway guys.. good luck to everyone in a LDR. :D


peanut3951 5 years ago

My Man Is Awesome. We've been doing long distance for almost 2 years now. We live on different continents and get to see each other for 2 or 3 weeks every 5 or 6 months. It's hectic, but it's also easy because there is really nobody else that I want to be with.

What helps is the fact that his family still lives here, so I often spend weekends with them in his old bedroom. It's very comforting, especially when I am ill.

Last night he phoned to say hi and I burst into tears. I've been sick and the pain just got to a peak last night - and I'd run out of painkillers. He phoned his parents who drove half an hour to my house to give me pain killers. I then went home with them. He phoned to see if i was ok and he's been very supportive. I feel like he's just at the office until this afternoon. I don't feel like he's far away right now.

Granted, it really does suck on most days. But it helps if both parties make an effort. We chat every single day, even if it is just a text message. It's a constant dialogue. Nothing that happens comes as a surprise to the other.

Trust really is paramount. I think that we're fortunate in that neither of us have been burned before, so there's a naivety about our relationship... but I consider it a blessing. And with Facebook and technology these days I know what he's doing at almost any point.

He decided to go overseas to establish his independence. His parents can be quite overbearing. It was a tough decision but we lived by the phrase;

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours.

Really it has done wonders for our relationship. We are now ready to become engaged. Two wholes make a successful marriage, and I believe that this experience of long distance has made us both whole enough to become one :)

Good luck to everyone in LDR. It's tough, but totally worth it if it is a success!!

xx


gorataone 4 years ago

i'm in a long distance relationship too.we'r both from Botswana my boyfriend is in a military and goes for trips for 3 months every year. its kind of hard but atleast we communicate everyday and see each oda afta every 2 weeks.


khawk profile image

khawk 4 years ago from Ireland

Just thought I would share a success story with anyone discouraged in a long distance relationship. I was in a long distance relationship for over two years. We were in two separate countries and madly in love. It's not easy but if you love someone, it can be well worth it. Basic things like communication, planned face to face meetings, and a strong plan to be together in the end got me through. After a long time of suffering, I now have been living with my partner in her home country for almost two years. I can tell you that being away all that time still makes a huge difference. Whenever times get tough or we start to get a little comfortable in each other's presence, we think about the time we spent apart. This helps both of us stay grounded in our love. I say God speed to anyone in this situation and that it can pay off in the end.


Sara 4 years ago

How long can you stand to not seeing each other?

How about 1 year?


GypsyFootedWoman profile image

GypsyFootedWoman 4 years ago

I think long distance relationships are a great way to strengthen a relationship and a connection. Primarily because the physical is taken out of the equation. I agree with all 5 points, and of course with communication being the Most important, as it is in ALL relationships. I am currently in a long distance relationship and it is HARD. But we are learning and making the most of the advantages of technology.

great hub, Thank you


rainpurplewine profile image

rainpurplewine 3 years ago from ATLANTA,Ga

Long distance can be hard and communication is key,but sometimes a lot gets lost threw texts as you mentioned with not being able to be sarcastic. Great tips :)


Herb Hopkins profile image

Herb Hopkins 3 years ago from Clayton Alabama

As a wife of a long distance relationship (married 34 years and tog for 39 years), I can truly attest to it being the most difficult times of our relationship. For the first 28 years of our marriage we had only been apart for 5 days when he had to go away for a college course. And altho that was difficult, nothing could of prepared me for when 7 years ago he became an over the road trucker!!! It has not been an easy road. And all of your suggestions in this article play a big part in our relationship, I really don't think we would of survived being apart if we had not had such a long standing commitment to each other. I will continue to follow your post for additional helpful hints on long distance relationships!!!

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