5 Long Distance Relationship Ideas: Advice You Don't Want to Miss
Reasons for Long Distance Relationships
Years ago, a long distance relationship would not likely survive but with the advent of the internet, cheap calling cards and more options for travel, let's just say that your chances of making it through to the other side have improved. Here are a couple of reasons why you might find yourself in a long distance relationship:
- you met your long distance boyfriend or girlfriend on an online dating site
- you met your love while traveling and now you're back home but he or she is still there
- you've had to move to go to college or for a new job and your boyfriend or girlfriend can't move with you
- you're in the military and your husband or wife is away on assignment
It's not easy (duh!)
If you're in a long distance relationship, you already know that it's not easy. However, this does not mean that it can't be done and that your love can't survive. It does takes a special kind of relationship to make it work though. If you're really in love, can't see yourself with anyone else and want to make it work, here are 5 long distance relationship ideas.
Consider it advice that you and your partner pretty much need to follow if you expect your relationship to last!
1. Communication is key
While good communication is important in any relationship, it is especially important in the long distance kind. Why? You can't use body language to help convey to your partner what you're thinking/feeling, so you really have to make sure that you express it in words that he or she can understand. For example, in person you might be able to use sarcasm but depending on your relationship, it might be trickier to pull off in e-mail or on the phone.
Oh, and you know how in person your partner might be able to catch on when you say something like "it doesn't matter" even when it really does matter to you? This is also potentially much trickier to pull off in the long distance relationship. The point is that in a long distance relationship, you really need to...
"Say what you mean, and mean what you say!"
How should we communicate?
- Phone and e-mail are the best ways to communicate in a long distance relationship. Snail mail letters are a nice way to mix it up too and to show a bit more personal attention.
- E-mail is often more convenient (not to mention cheaper!), especially if you have several time zones between you. Each of you can just send off an e-mail whenever it fits your schedule, even if the other person is already in bed or is still at work, etc. Your partner will then be able to read the e-mail whenever it fits her schedule. Don't get stuck in a rut of always sending the short, quick e-mails either. Remember to write your sweetie a long love letter type e-mail sometimes too!
- While e-mail might be more convenient, regular phone calls are really important too. Hearing each other's voice creates closeness and intimacy. Try not to multi-task too much when you're on the phone with your partner. He will be able to tell if you're doing a million other things too or if he really has your 100% undivided attention. It makes a difference!
- Skype! You have probably already discovered this but if you haven't, you really should be using it. It's wonderful to be able to see your boyfriend on your computer screen, to hear his voice while you're looking at him, to see his smile, hear his laugh and maybe even manage to look into each other's eyes (weird, huh?).
How often should we communicate?
- It's really up to you and your partner but daily is best. In order to pull it off, you might have to set up "phone dates" to co-ordinate your schedules. That little bit of planning can mean the difference between being able to talk that day and not.
2. Don't be jealous. Trust is paramount.
Sure, it can be hard. Remember that it's not easy. But you can't constantly be worrying that your partner is out cheating on you or you will go crazy and it will eat away at your relationship. If your partner tells you that he is going out with friends or that he has to work late, believe him. Of course, if your gut is really telling you that there might be something going on, have a talk with him about it (this goes back to communication). Don't be paranoid, don't be smoothering, don't make your partner feel like you don't trust him.
On the flip side of this, one has to be deserving of trust. If you tell your partner that you're going out with friends, make sure that they really are just friends! Don't lie to your partner or it will come back to haunt you. Your relationship is worth more than that.
3. Keep the romance alive
It definitely takes more creativity and thinking outside the box in order to keep the romance alive in your long distance relationship. Physical affection is not an option so you have to do your best to replace it with something else until you see each other again. Call your girlfriend just to tell her you love her or write her one of those long mushy e-mails that truly come from your heart.
Send your love a care package in the mail full of things she loves. Include a hand-written letter from you and your favorite photo of you and her together in a frame. Put in a CD of songs that are meaningful to the two of you and if you don't have any, make her a CD of the songs you love so she can think of you when she listens to it.
It's hard but try not to get stuck in a rut. Remember that you love each other and while it's easy to start taking each other for granted, it is something that can spell disaster.
4. Know when you will see each other next
It can be overwhelming to be missing your lover, not knowing when you will see him next, not knowing when you can hold him in your arms again and kiss him and make love with him until the sun comes up. Yes, I am speaking from personal experience here! Yes, it is hard! But I will tell you that it helps if you know that you will be able to see your partner again in "x" amount of time because then you can begin the countdown in your mind.
Even if you and your partner can't pinpoint an exact date, the more you can narrow it down, the better. Will it be this season? Next season? Will it be the month of October? November? Talk it over, work it out.
When you don't have at least an approximate date in your mind, you can start thinking that maybe you'll never see each other again and that is not a very nice feeling.
5. Have an end in sight
Unless you enjoy not being together physically, you must be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Whether it's a few months, few years, whatever - most long distance relationships likely will not last forever if you are not eventually together in person. This is another thing that comes down to communication. It can be hard, but try to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to this. Are you going to move there? Is he moving here? These are some of the things you need to work out. You might not have the answers overnight but continue to keep the lines of communication open about it and don't allow your relationship to settle at the long distance stage unless that is where you and your partner want it to be.
Good luck! I'd love to hear from you below about your thoughts on long distance relationships.
I hope these long distance relationship ideas have helped you!
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