5 Things Girls Might Do That Creep a Guy Out
(Disclaimer: Sometimes I think I'm the last person who should be giving relationship advice. No, seriously. Don't listen to me. This is all based on my own experience, and I'm a weird guy. Still, I think plenty of it is universal. Anyway, with that said...)
There's a lot of talk about guys and the things they do that creep girls out during the courtship process. And, indeed, it is true, many a clueless guy has harassed and turned off a girl within minutes of meeting her without even realizing what he's done.
But let's turn the tables a bit. What is it that girls do when getting to know a guy that tends to turn him off or send him running? What can a girl say that will creep a guy out? Let's take a look:
1 - Talking About His Money or Status Too Much
Few guys want to be a bank account to you. It is only the guys who are totally desperate to impress that will flaunt their money at you in hopes that you will find them attractive. These men are also usually not the long-term rich kind of man, whose wealth coincided with his character-building; his fat pockets are usually the result of his parent's fortune or of some kind of dumb-luck windfall. For example, once I observed the following exchange at a fast food restaurant:
A young man approached the cute young woman behind the counter.
"Hey. How you doing?"
She smiled politely. "I'm good."
"So, what you are you up to? Just working and shit?"
"Hey, you know I just won the lottery. I have a brand new car outside and everything."
She smiled throughout the exchange and tolerated his sorry attempts, but she remained, like most girls would, I imagine, largely unimpressed.
Similarly, a man who worked for his living is used to his own income and is unimpressed by it. No matter how much he makes, he's unlikely to think it's a lot. So even if you think it's a lot, it's unwise to talk too much about it. It will make you seem superficial and gold-digging. It will make it seem like you don't give him enough credit for who he is. It will also send him the message that you're one of those people who can't conceive or imagine living his kind of lifestyle as a normal thing, which would make it difficult for him to fit you in his life.
Yes, some men want to be "sugar daddies," but most men with confidence and self-esteem don't need or want someone who only sees the money and its materialistic rewards and who can't appreciate what he did to make the money in the first place.
2 - Talking About His Penis Too Much
It's true that most (read: all) guys like their penises. No matter how big or small or weird-looking or esthetically pleasing, it is a body part that a guy will have darn-near unconditional love for.
However, this love is very personal. Unless you are already a guy's romantic partner, or are an established candidate that is well on her (or his) way, talking about his penis too much before you've ever had a chance to see it, even if you have only nice things to say, is like talking about his platinum card or about how deep his bank account runs. It makes you seem cheap, and only interested in what he can do for you (in the case of penises, what he can do sexually; in the case of money, financially).
Now, most guys want to make their woman (or man) happy, but the key term there is their woman. If you are not yet his woman, why blather on about his body, something you do not yet have full access to?
In addition, it makes a girl appear kind of slutty if she is constantly making references to his penis or to sex. It also reveals the kind of company and the kind of men this woman is used to, if she assumes that men welcome all sexual advances, no matter how inappropriate and cheap they may seem, and no matter how much the advances have nothing to do with who he is as a person.
Yes, that's right. There are plenty of guys who want to be liked for who they are, and who just roll their eyes at misled women who think objectifying them will be a turn-on. (Now, there are men who are turned on by this, but they tend to be less mature and more superficial themselves. If this is the kind of guy you'd like to date, then ignore this point.)
3 - Talking About Getting Married When You Barely Know Him
Like in number 1, talking about marriage is like talking about his penis too much: If you are not his woman already, you don't really have "the right" to be talking about it. What he plans to do for the rest of his life is currently none of your business.
Also, it makes him think you might be one of those types of women who are desperate for marriage because your biological clock is ticking and you think your eggs are shriveling. My, what a great compliment to him: You want to settle down before it's too late, and he's the one available at this moment. Way to make a guy feel special and not like he's being used!
Also-also, there are a lot of guys out there, especially these days, who don't plan on getting married at all. If a woman mentions marriage too early, instead of as some kind of logical progression once they're actually together, it will make it seem like the whole goal and purpose of her relationship to the man was to get him to marry her. And, of course, this is not suitable for a man who does not plan on marrying at all, if the whole relationship is to be based on a future that doesn't exist.
4 - Telling Him Other People Tell You He's Good at Sex/is Wealthy/Other Superficially Flattering Things
Similar to 1 and 2, this is instead telling him that other people have told you these things about him, i.e. giving him unimpressive compliments through other people. This is normally a bad move because:
1) It makes it seem you're talking to him only because of what others have said. In other words, you don't have the ability to form an opinion of your own.
2) You're only interested in him because of these superficial things about him you have heard. You only want him so you can use him for sex or money or whatever it was that impressed you.
3) What you are telling him you heard about him might not be true at all, or only partially true, or he himself never thought about it before. This can be interpreted as your setting a false standard that you expect him to live up to and that it's a condition to your liking him.
Either way, it has the potential to reflect badly on you. Avoid, unless you're dealing with a superficial guy who wants you to like him for small things that don't matter.
5 - The Only Time You Talk to Him is if You're Flirting With Him
If the only time you talk to him is when you're actively and obviously trying to get closer to him, it will seem like you have no interests of your own besides him and no sense of self. This might be completely untrue, but remember that he only knows about you based on what he sees when you're around him, so, from his perspective, it might seem like there's nothing to you except your obsessive flirtations.
So show the real you, and he'll probably like it. At the very least he can decide whether the two of you are compatible or not in his mind. Where he will truly be making his assessment in this regard is based on the real you--who you really are--and if he can't get to that through the vast maze of superficialities, you haven't given him the chance. If he's talking to you, he probably does want to get to know you. Let him.
- 5 Things Girls Do That Turn Guys Off in a Relationship
(What happens when you've already snagged the guy and are in a relationship with him? Something of a continuation on this hub.)
- How to Have Confidence with a Woman (or Man) (or Anything and Anyone, Really)
- 5 Things Women Don't Know About Men
- How to Pretend to Ignore Someone That You Have a Crush On
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- What to Say to a Girl in a Store
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