5 Ways to Reject a Guy's or Girl's Romantic Advances
Does someone keep coming on to you, wanting more than just your friendship, and the feeling is just not mutual? Do you feel at a loss as to what to do?
Here are a few suggestions:
1 - Pretend that you don't notice their advances.
If you never noticed their incessant come-ons and propositions, or else never took them literally, then how can you be blamed for not responding to said advances, right?
If they yawn and put an arm around you, ask them if they're tired.
If they lean over and try to kiss you, turn the other way quickly and point at something in the room and make a random comment about it, while trying to not be too obvious. (ex. "Gee, Bob/Sally, that lamp you bought last week sure looks good in the corner over there! That's why I'm looking at it right now, instead of at your face which is really close to mine. There's no other reason I wouldn't be looking at you.")
Most of all, try to avoid eye contact, as usually that's an indicator of intimacy. If you must talk to them, look away, as if you're talking to the wall next to you instead and hope that they can still hear you well enough that they won't ask you to turn around and look at them.
If this doesn't work and they just don't get the hint...
2 - Pretend you're already seeing someone.
Grab the nearest friend of yours and pretend they're your significant other. Bonus points if you start lewdly making out with them in the middle of the room to make your point.
Of course, if you want to be more subtle about it, you could simply just get touchy-feely with a nearby friend and let the mood speak for itself, so that if you are questioned later you can always deny that you were ever misleading anyone and say, "No, I never said so-and-so was my boyfriend/girlfriend. You just assumed."
It's usually best that you let the person who's pretending to be your lover in on the game you're playing. If they have no clue and see you rubbing yourself all over them in a decidedly affectionate manner, they might get the wrong idea and then you're back at square one, except with somebody else.
3 - Pretend you're gay.
This could be a slight modification of number 2, and is possibly more effective.
If you want to make your point more strongly, you could similarly grab a same-sex friend and claim that they're your one-and-only. Touch each other lovingly. Give each other Eskimo kisses and whisper sweet nothings in each other's ears. Sell it.
Not only will you be seen as taken and unavailable for the moment, but this will make you permanently unavailable as your admirer will see that they have no chances whatsoever. (Unless, of course, your admirer is actually of your same sex, in which case you should pretend you're straight....Unless, of course, you are actually straight, in which case you needn't pretend; just be clear.)
4 - Pretend you're asexual.
Pretend that you're not interested in getting to know them in the biblical sense because you are not interested in getting to know anybody AT ALL in the biblical sense. Tell them, sure, you'll date them, but it's never going to conceivably lead to anything physical; that's just the way you are and they should respect your desires.
Chances are, they won't be cool with that and will leave you alone.
5 - Try to make yourself really, really unattractive.
Cough in their face. Sneeze in it, too, while you're at it.
Talk about your bodily functions. When you come back from a trip to the bathroom, give really graphic descriptions of what it was like, how many flushes it took, etc.
Pretend you have really unpopular political or philosophical beliefs. Tell them you're a Nazi, or a member of the Klan, a member of Fred Phelp's church, or something that is equally disliked by most people.
Tell them you just got out of jail for something horrific. Laugh and say you got off on a technicality. The creepier and weirder the crime the better; try cannibalism or baby-kicking or something similarity distasteful. Be really clear you're not joking. Recruit others around you to be your witnesses.
Get your friends to pretend to talk negatively behind your back to this person, spreading outrageous rumors about you that make you look bad. Get your friends to "warn" this person about you. Get them to tell the person that you're crazy and can snap at any moment.
Or you could just be really clear and tell them that you're not interested, but why do that when confrontations just tend to get so awkward? Try the unspoken and subtle route first and, if all else fails, wordlessly head for the hills.
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