9 Ways To Deal With A Nagging Wife

The Best Ways To Deal With These Nag Nag Nag Wife Creatures

As married life goes it naturally has it's ups and downs and it's when the downs seem to make life really depressed is when this sort of behaviour needs to be addressed. If you don't want to read on then consider 10 ways to Dump someone with some funny ideas for Dumping that irritating boyfriend or girlfriend!

A nagging wife is someone who has gotten quite comfortable at dishing out the orders, you know the type, the ones who leave the list of jobs that need doing as soon as on the fridge in the form of a post it.

These horrible wife creatures must be stopped and I believe I've come up with 9 top ways to deal with a nagging wife, so take notes, you never know when you'll need to refer back to these 9 tips for effective wife management.

Number 1: Always create a space for yourself, a shed, a room. Somewhere to retreat from the nagging when it erupts. Your best hobby is done in this safe haven from the nightmare naggers.

Every bloke should have a hobby to counteract the nagging of a wife.

Number 2: When you feel the nag is about to happen, just go out to the pub, or go for a walk, the key here is to be consistent so that every time a nag is about to occur you just get out of the way.

This makes sense, because it saves wasted energy all around and if you are out of the way, then you will not hear it!

Number 3: Ignore the nagging, when she says stuff that needs to change or the things that need doing it's time to either act like you're deaf or just plain ignore her and all she stands for when it comes to the nagging, she'll either get bored because there is no reaction and the nagging ends or she may get pissed off.

So in the event she might get a little angry that you don't listen, then obtain a hearing aid and hatch a small plan to fake a hearing problem, this is a good tactic I recommend you do to combat this terrible affliction, she'll more than likely not bother and just hand you a list of jobs and for that my friends a white walking stick and mr magoo style glasses come in very handy!!

Number 4: When us men are about to be nagged to death we sort of sense it like a sixth sense, so in the event of such an outcome, you could compliment your wife and this cleverly distracts her and she'll just forget for the time being about the prospect of nagging you.

These little compliments can be staggered throughout the week and can be part of an overall plan of gift showering and that sort of thing, although don't overdo it as this could cause more stress later on down the line with such things as they might wonder why you are giving them all of this attention and you are playing the game away from home.

So just be careful with this one, you don't want to be playing into their hands too much!

Number 5: Keep them busy, always try to keep the nagging at bay by taking them out for dinner or just doing something together, with a bit of luck this will also stop them from nagging you because this might be something they nagged you about, so try and second guess them and nip it in the bud before the nag rot sets in.

Number 6: Counteract the nagging by nagging back, this could be called an argument in some parts of the world, but it really isn't, as you are only giving her a taste of her own poisonous medicine.

Nag back at her about the fact of her nagging you, you never know this may stop her from nagging again, or it could be grounds for a future divorce, either way you'll feel better for it.

Number 7: Laugh at her nagging face!

This is one of my favourites as it unsettles them into just shutting the hell up,they get frustrated about the fact that you laughed at them. When they try to nag again immediately after you laughed ....just laugh louder this time!

Number 8: Slap them in the face with a piece of candy floss, don't worry it won't hurt, this just adds to the drama of being nagged, with a bit of luck a piece of candy floss will get stuck on their lips and you could simply lick it off.

Get rid of the nagging with a bit of candy floss kinkyness!!

Lastly number 9: When they are about to nag...say hey look at that dress and your hair...I love it! you really are the best wife in the world and quite sexy too why don't we just hop into a sack and do our very own special dance whilst laying down!

I may revise this list in time as I may come up with some better tips to replace the current ones. But at present these are the best for the current times of nagging wifey misses!!

Nagging Wife

Nagging Wife Flickr Image By YTruly at http://www.flickr.com/photos/ytruly
Nagging Wife Flickr Image By YTruly at http://www.flickr.com/photos/ytruly

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How Do You Deal With Wifes Nagging? 186 comments

Jack 20 months ago

Question: why do men die before their wives?

Answer: because they want too.


Johnb896 2 years ago

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waynet 3 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

Then the Woman must be thick as Pig poop to put up with it in the first place!


Matty soft 3 years ago

And what if the woman naggs all the time about her husbands "Cheating"!


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SweetiePie 3 years ago from Southern California, USA

@Alex,

Well interesting how you assume someone is alone just because they are single. I know many women in their sixties and seventies who never have kids, and who have active social lives with female friends. I also know some people who had kids who put them in rest homes, and their kids/grandkids never come to visit. It is too bad you have such a negative/rigid way of looking at the world.


Alex 3 years ago

@Sweetiepie lol yeah that’s cool till your about 50/60 and your eating a turkey sandwich on thanksgiving ALONE, while your friends are with their grand kids. lol ..


Mathew 3 years ago

To live with anybody, especially our nagging partner is nothing but hell on earth. I was married for 38 years, my wife is very hard working-on time-extra clean-loves money more than anything-loves to control other people-never find good in anybody but only the faults-cry about the past etc. I am totally a different person, never loved money but gave away when I see needy people which gave me great joy-not on time-finding good in other people and compliment other people-say sorry for my mistakes. Life was nothing but a painful journey, but holding on to it. Whenever she starts nagging about every silly thing-even a dirty dish on the table will create a big issue and big fight, I leave the place and come back. Then she will be quite normal. The Bible says" blessed are the peace-makers".


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SweetiePie 3 years ago from Southern California, USA

Best way to avoid nagging of any kind is for two married people to be on the same page before they get married. I have a low tolerance for men who cannot cook or clean up after themselves, and I would not nag them about it. I am just not around long enough to say anything about it, and I go on to do my own thing. Of course my lacking of caring is probably why I am single, but I prefer it that way :). Being single again is always an option for men and women who feel like their spouses nag them too much.


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waynet 3 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

Yes...be kind and understanding with them because they are generally being that way because of their Wives!


Sonja 3 years ago

Any suggestions on how to deal with obnoxious husbands?


FacetheTruth 3 years ago

It's time to face up to the truth. Your woman nags you because:

1) She is a bad person.

2) You are a weak person.

It's that simple. Either act like a real man and tell her to shut up OR put up with her hostility towards you.


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waynet 4 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

Joint bank account usually means you have joint access...if not, step up and take control of your money!


chris finn 4 years ago

What if you have a joint bank acount anh she wont let you have aney money and wont let you out. Iam not even aloud to go to the pub to get out of the way so she hase toltel controel of me and what i do .............................. HELP what do i do


Married girl 4 years ago

All but #5 will give your wives a great reason to divorce your pathetic selves. Number 5 is ingenious though- nip it in the bud. She wouldn't have to nag if you did your part.


Guy 4 years ago

Best way? There's a few ways in my experience:

- Just smile and be overly nice. Not matter how nasty and evil her words are be pleasant and speak softly. Don't give any sort of negative reaction back or it will only escalate.

- Just give her a long hug, it's like cradling a baby, the volume slowly goes down to silence. Only effective in moderate to low nagging sessions.

- The backup present. Buy something really nice but hide it. Use this as an emergency measure when the nagging reaches an extremely high level. Give it to her and it can change the worst nagging to the most excitement.

- "I love you", they like to hear it, so do it. However, don't dilute the meaning of the phrase by using it all the time.

- This relates to the one above, too much of a good thing gets overlooked and disregarded as something standard. If you get up on a Saturday morning and put your DIY belt on and get straight to it for a few weekends in a row, you will be expected to do that every single weekend until the end of time. If you don't you can guess the outcome. Plan the frequency of your chores carefully. Make something that is special, ACTUALLY special.

- Make her well aware of what you have done and the complexity that has gone into it. Just laid a new brick wall at the end of the garden? That is no easy task! If you play it off as nothing you are only setting the bar of expectation higher for future tasks.


Michelle 4 years ago

Wow this article should be labeled how to get a divorce from your wife. I feel for you men who has wives who nag about chores.I feel ya but to ignore the woman who is asking or nagging for your time..are you men that stupid?? IF i was a man and my gurl wanted my time i would loooove her to death. Now THE VERY FIRST COMMENT STATED CLEARLY WHY I NAG MY MAN. Now would i be wrong since i go out my way to please you but all the man can do is act like a child and he is passive aggressive now i could be cold hearted.believe me Im not cold hearted or evil but with you men you're soo slow.WHy do i have to beg you to spend time with me? Why do i have to beg you to do something about this marriage you cant manage or even get help or listen. Im tired i bark the same bark with no bite. I would be even more wrong if i separate. i mean really I don't need him to do anything but what it takes to make a Godly man thats it! everything else I am glad to do. I cant believe the pride level on this post and the author of the post cant even respond to the people who is right!! not all of us want chores we want and need your time.


NONONO 4 years ago

Oh NO NO NO! This is not what you do!

From reading the article, I've gathered that you may be a little too self serving and not enough we serving. Women nag because they feel unfulfilled with their husbands. They feel neglected. If you read Boundaries in Marriage, you would learn that part of that IS your fault.

When people marry, they are responsible TO one another, but not for one another. Being faithful to your spouse doesn't just include sexual contact. It includes helping with duties, working, and being an emotional support system... to each other.

What I'm reading is highly disturbing. It sounds like a bunch of male teenagers who never matured. It doesn't sound like you were ever ready for marriage and what it entails.

Woman nag for the following reasons:

- he keeps doing the same thing that he knows will upset his wife.

-he doesn't help around the house, with the baby, etc.

-he doesn't spend time with her

-he's not forsaking all others as he vowed to

-his friends are more important than her and her feelings

-being taken for granted. You no longer make her feel beautiful, loved, desired, sexy..

-she picks up on your loss of interest.

The list could go on.

I think more issues would be solved with positive, constructive solutions. These will just be the beginning of a marriage, so destroyed, that the countdown to divorce is inevitable.

You have a duty to love your wife as you love your friends, god, etc.

You are not doing your part. If you were, you would NOT be nagged.

If you can't stop being selfish long enough to see that, you will NEVER be successful in ANY serious relationship.

It's not I, I, I.. it's we, we, we..

making compromises, even if you don't "enjoy" it.

A HAPPY WIFE IS A HAPPY LIFE..

And YOU are what determines that.

Please listen to me!!

I'm a newly wed. I am called a "nag" all the time. It hurts.

This is why I "nag"...

I go out of my way to make him happy with what I do. If something makes him uncomfortable, I simply don't do it.

I answer every call, Im always home.. especially when I say i am. I tell him everything. We have good sex.. I'll feel sad if he doesn't want to for 4 days. He is not deprived.

He doesn't like men looking at me, so I always adjust how I look when we go out. Some people think that's silly, but it's what he prefers and I married him.

The problem is that he takes me for granted. He is also a hypocrite. He doesn't want me to do something, but it's ok for him to. I complain about that a lot. When I even try to explain how i feel and try to get him to understand that, it's "nagging"..

He goes on business trips, he goes out to lunch with females in the group, he checks other women out in front of me, sometimes doesn't respond to a text or a call for a long period of time (even when he should be able to) and other things I don't feel like getting into.

1. I would get hell if I traveled without him

2. He would get FURIOUS if I was out with any other men without him.

3. He would get pissed if i was checking out men in front of him.

4. And he would be very anxious and suspicious if i texted him with one word responses, didn't text for hours, or didn't call him to let him know what i was doing.

I don't nag about his messes, I don't nag about dinner, i don't nag about anything other than the treatment he gives me. Maybe this is different than what you are talking about, but my husband makes me look like a full on nag to his friends and well as myself.

Just a few minutes ago, he made me feel like a horrible naggy wife.

He is out of town, for work, for a week. This is the longest time we have had apart and we just got married a month ago. For some reason, in the morning, he's super short with me. Texts me with one word responses.. and he knows I don't like that. I will say Good morning, I love you! and he said "Hi!". and then didn't respond to me for about a half our or so.. maybe longer. Since he did that to me the other night, and i told him how it made me feel, he said he was sorry and wouldn't do it again. He did the exact same thing again. If i did that to him, he would be so angry.. he wouldn't be able to see straight.

And this is what I don't get.. some men will continue to do the very thing he knows his wife hates.. and then when she gets upset (because it feels like he either doesn't care or doesn't value her), it's all her fault and she becomes a nag. That is not fair... and it hurts.

I BEG YOU to just step back, look at your wife, look at yourself, try to see if you could be doing something to fulfill her emotionally, make her feel loved, beautiful.. wanted, desired.

It can't be all her problem. You are contributing by your lack of contribution. Remember, you have a duty to love your wife.. respect her..take care of her..protect her..

If you do, you will have it all in return.


Dave G. 4 years ago

Ya know a muzzle might work... but the best thing to do is tell her ("Look,.. !, Your like a dog that won't Stop Barking. !") If ya keep it up! I'll tie ya up in the back yard where no one can hear ya, with a pan of water..... and a dog house... and wouldent it be a shame if i got distracted by the Game on t.v on a day where its over hundred, and forgot to bring you the water pan back!... Smile and Ignore... ;) the image in your brain will ease the pain..... ("Don't ever really do this!") but it is a nice escape from her flapping mouth! Lol!


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waynet 4 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

Yeah right....that's your excuse for nagging I reckon! lol!


Donna 4 years ago

A Wife nags because his husband acts like a stupid jerk


Kevo 4 years ago

@Nat ... my man that is really sad, but at the same time I respect you for finding a way to deal with your problems without making them worse. My problem is when mine nags at me it makes me want to explode and I don't have the option to avoid her because she is too involved in my daily life. I hope after 40 years things have gotten better for you. To all you men, lets shoot one down for all the pain woman cause us and the beauty they bring at the same time.


carol 4 years ago

A real man will step up and make sure she has no reason to nag. He won't need to be asked to take out garbage, bring home a flower a couple of times a month, take her to dinner once a week. He won't be texting others or leaving his things out, expecting her to "take care of it." He'll almost never be late to an engagement. Guys, stand up and be a man. It's your fault if you've caused her to be upset with you.


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waynet 4 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

Yes I hope it was a joke too.....it should be lol!


marty 4 years ago

Gee Carmon by merely reading your post you seem quite an ample nagger, just waiting to turn some honest fella's life to shit


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waynet 4 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

Good on you...What's an elph?


carmen 4 years ago

I am not obsessed with housework.The trick is not to have things laying obout so even if the house is not so clean all the time it doesn't show so much.I work same ours as my hub, but i don't know why i end up doing all the housework. I mean are men men or are they just children? I don't need anyone to tell me to clean up or tidy after myself, I mean you don't have to be too smart to know that things pile up and that there are no elphs coming to clean overnight.And then we are taken for granted never appreciated. I am not a nagger, no man will turn me into one. I just choose not to live with an inmature person.


Chew baca 4 years ago

Sean 7 weeks ago

I Just burned my house down with my wife and children inside that solved it

I just saw that comment fuckin funny... I hope it was a joke


Nat 4 years ago

I solved the whole problem ! Since the day we were married I just hadn't talked to her nor have associated my self with her. Married 45 years and had sex once then the nagging started. I moved to our basement and she has the upstairs and the I worked 40 plus years on the midnight shift and took no vacations. That way I ddn't have to be home. She finally got tired of listening to herself bitch and moan. That worked for me and solved probably alot of problems.


ads 4 years ago

why not just lower their confidence by just not caring and when shes about to blow increase it in a nice way this should keep you from getting nagged forever.

but don't take advantage of it as it could probably cause severe drawbacks[bedroom]


Nicolette 4 years ago

i've got this nagging, sad to say, fiancé that just wont leave it alone about going out for my b-day i have repeated several times i do not want to celebrate and then i just say yes to going out to shut her up, i mean him up, well i had work call 2 days in advance then told him when i saw him next and he wont stop throwing a fit about me canceling plans. he is talking about u make me feel this....., u make me feel that..., i offered solutions but nothing makes him happy unless he gets his way what do i do to get him to quit his bitching cuz i don't understand the emotional aspect of it.


wondering 4 years ago

The whole she's nagging about things that need to be done or needs to be changed seems like quite a dysfunctional relationship.

Dysfunctional as in rather than communicate with your wife or perhaps do what needs to be done or changed the first time so she doesn't repeat it you ignore and come up with to me childish tactics.

I find that often men label nagging as a woman repeatedly telling him what to do in the context of house/child/work duties nagging. I wonder how come they just didn't do it the first time.

I would like to imagine the male response to 9 Ways To Deal With a Nagging Hhusband with women regradid nagging as his requests for sex. To many men sex is an obligation, entitlement, duty, or expectation buty women can't expect their men to contribute in doing what needs to be done or changed. Perhaps women are best suited to go against the mainstream advice and treat requests from sex as nagging.


HelpMEGoD 4 years ago

In the bible it says that the wife is supposed to be a helper, but for me I don't know if she knows the difference between a helper and a dictator. She is constantly giving "constructive criticism" which is okay on the surface but what makes it worse is that its only in one direction. She gets annoyed when advice or constructive criticism is offered in her direction. (massive ego) A wife who does not listen and thinks its her mission to correct or change you is very dangerous. It can really make the home an unbearable place.


Kevin Kelly 4 years ago

My wife is nagging about something or other. This is while she is vacuming. It is kind of a multitasking nag. Is this rare? I told her how much I love her and how I provided the vacume for her. This did not help. Also it is raining so I can't go ge on my harley and leave. What now?


Noname 4 years ago

All you guys need to read No More Mr Nice Guy


Realistic bob 4 years ago

In the case you divorce , if you are absolutly not capable of enduring her and help , take it like you take a mistake . People do mistake that make them miserable . It's up to you to change it . It's not that ur not good persons or some are better then you. Just that you were not deeply in love .


Realistic bob 4 years ago

Nagging is a lot related to the mental condition of the wife. She is depressed or tired emotionally. Life is not beautiful and the husband is paying for it. Leave her If you can't endure and help her be who she was when you married her . Because this is the worst part of the marriage you signed for . Stand and be there for her as long as you can. If ur drained , separate and divorce before

dying!!!


freindstease@yahoo.com 4 years ago

I have a nagging wife for the past 18 years.. feels terrible.. sometimes mind goes into an overdrive for suicide..but for a daughter.

Would like to go in for legal respite but would be terrible for she will go insane and trouble me further for lack of financial insecurity.


Sam Mathew 4 years ago

I am married for more than 38 years, and by nature a

positive mentality personality, I am very greatly tired

of life due to the negative and constant nagging of my

wife. She is very hard working-excessively clean crazy.

Her fun is constant talk about the past mistakes of our

life. Nobody can change the past and hearing the same old painful past life is like cutting the hand with a blade. Words are powerful tools to make us happy or

unhappy.


SIMPLY IGNORE 4 years ago

Hi Kelly from six days ago..

You sound like a great wife and now your cured hopefully you wont need to search on forums like this anymore! Actually, in a bitchy type of way, i fear your nagging days might return. Remember, once a nagger always a......

Your ex will enjoy the love of a woman with a heart in the future - that could wipe the smile of your endearing thoughtful face. Enjoy your big house - money talks :-)


Laughinguy 4 years ago

I just laugh along with her nagging. She ends up saying "AWWW" and forgets about nagging! problem solved.


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waynet 4 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

So mostly Women nag to try and change the Men's ways? This doesn't work! So you got fed up of nagging him and he left or you left? nagging is just downright evil and mental torture!


Kelly 4 years ago

I was a naggi ng wife for many years. Yep, nag nag nag. Nagged that poor guy. Finally out of shear mercy I left the poor soul and now happily married four years and I'm cured!!! I saw the error of my ways and did him a favor. Now he is alone, the lucky devil, and I'm in this happy thing with the person I will grow old with. I have this big gorgeous home to care for and a nice looking guy to keep satisfied. So, I have learned my lesson and I hope all you guys here get the relief my ex did. Keep up the good work!


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waynet 4 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

Now she will come back as a ghost and nag you still....


Sean 4 years ago

I Just burned my house down with my wife and children inside that solved it


Aid 4 years ago

How to stop a nagging wife? Love her. Understand she is nagging for a reason and it might be connected to another subject. If you love her then understanding a


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waynet 4 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

I have no problems in the bedroom department...but Women do like to nag anyway!


Conrad 4 years ago

It's a pity to see man comforting each other and telling each other lies. the truth to nagging is that there will be less sex or love making in the marriage...actually the issue is the man will be doing it in a selfish way..just doing what he thinks will satisfy him never ever asking and doing what the wife enjoys..this leaves the wife unsatisfied and if this continues causes nagging and so many argumnets in the house.

instead of u guys helping each other in a way that build the marriages and make your marriages enjoyable you are busy teaching each other to create your own hell instead of homes..shame on you.

whenever you c a man complaining about nagging it clearly show/tells us that he is a very bad perfomer in the bedroom because as long as you satisfy your wife sexually...you earn your respect, your adoration, your space and I tel you you will enjoy it.

Try it and you will tel me.

If you really love your wife you will not do what you are told here.


hmania 4 years ago

I don t really know what to do , it s always my fault , everything that happens iam the one to be blamed , i don t know how to deal with that , im really so calm and honest but she always accuse me on everything , if i say white she says black , if i say + she says - ... what do i have to dooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!1


hmania 4 years ago

i live in the same situation... this really hurts ....


Irh 4 years ago

I am either confused or extremely undereducated.. I am aparently a youthfull houlligan at the decrepid age of 32, I am the youngest of 5,All other siblings bein femal


art hohnke 4 years ago

my nice is guy and never works so she move up to alberta to live with us sayes to get a job but we live in a small town no buses or cabs 1 hr to city so she can not get a job no driver license ether i tell her to go home where there is buses to get a job my wife yells at me to keep quitshes trying how can she try if living hear can not get a job then sayes in april my girl friend is coming here to visit for two weeks im said go home and me and my wife fight if i say any thing she lived with every body she could so she don't have to work eben her grandfather that sent here up here nobody wants her around because she only wonts to live for nothing i am ready to leave my wife i had anought what should i do thank you


Ben 4 years ago

I like these. Unfortunately i have come to realise that Nagging women tend to disturb Good men...Ladies why don't you leave good men alone!!!.The best way to deal with this is to ignore her, be unpredictable and balance your face between good and bad.


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waynet 4 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

Henry the 8th had the right idea!


Ricky 4 years ago

The best way to deal with nagging wife is to ignor her when the nagging starts. No matter the provocation, the husband should never hit her. Religious counceling do help to change the attitude of nagging wives.


Kenny 4 years ago

I'm amazed at what people go through in marriage, such that I'm sacred to go into it.


Ujagbe 4 years ago

Life is too short to live it with a nagging wife. In Nigeria (AFRICA), our wives used to be obedient, loyal, devoted and faithful to their husbands. But these days, due to their exposure to western cultures, many are turning to great nag. Mine insults me at the slightest opportunity, even when I'm the bread winner.


cfiscryo@aol.com 4 years ago

Build a shed? Consider a woodshed! I you are a MAN, who provides and has expectations, then do what comes natural! Damn this nonsense fellows, John Wayne did not take it from Mareen, why should you? Stop this puss whining and be a man! Or send her ass packin....


SupremeBeing 4 years ago

TRY THIS METHOD:

This method is all about timing. Next time you catch her nagging and can feel her poisonous attitude trying to ruin your wonderful day, try this:

1. Raise your fists up.

2. Look up to heaven.

3. Yell something real loud like "ARGGGGGGGGGGGG"

4. Turn towards front door

5. Open front door

6. Get in car

7. Drive to Macy's

8. Buy sexy boxers or boxer briefs like Calvin Klein. (hide from wife)

9. Wear them the next day in front of wife

10. Smile and bask in the glory of being a man

In ten steps, you only needed to say one word and your actions have spoken louder than words can.


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waynet 4 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

Yep! That's about right!


Ben 4 years ago

Sometimes my wife just needs 'her medicine' (aka: a good hour long session of lovemaking).

Other things that work?

Just walk away as she's b!tc#ing. Best done as you chortle at her insipid threats to burn down the house, etc etc etc. Yes, you'll still be able to hear her carrying on the other room, but...and this is important...when she walks through your room for something (and she will) donot take up the argument again. This is her plan! She wants to get you started again so she can be the one walking away.

Stay strong men.

Hold on to your balls as long as possible.


jhon lee 4 years ago

I did the slapping thing with candy but she got worst and kick my ass.


Viking 4 years ago

I completely understand where you are coming from. I working in the Corporate field for year and now, over the past two years have ran my own home based business. We've been married for 15+ years. I hardly ever go out, even when I was working in the Corporate world. Just Saturday I ran into an old College buddy of mine and he invited me to hang with a few of his friends. I figured this was a good idea to get out of the house and have some "guy time"... Boy did I pay for it the next day! All day long she gave me the silent treatment. She threw in little comments like "boy, it was pretty ironic how you ran into him like that", "I wouldn't have met him seeing it's been more than 20 years, that takes guts, etc". Pretty much like I was lying for some reason and meeting a woman or whatever.

When we were dating I stopped hanging with my buddies and for the most part lost all touch with them. I really have no guy friends to hang with so I figured this would be a good idea to perhaps meet a few new friends through my old college buddy.

I feel very controlled. Very tied down and very stuck. I'm 43 and this is my life so it seems. To me it's not worth going out with friends if it's going to impact the next weeks or months negatively. Just this morning we got into another tiff. She told me she was angry because when I got home, at 11:36 (I was the first guy to leave the bar by the way because I didn't want to get home "too late")... I didn't go in the bedroom to say goodnight. I told her I LOOKED in the bedroom and she was sleeping (which I thought she was)... She said she wasn't sleeping... BUT, she never lifted her head, moved or anything. I certainly wasn't going to wake her up to say goodnight.

No matter what I do is wrong. I just can't have male friends. After 15+ years of marriage this is now my life. I could take a stand and tell her, "this is the way it needs to be, I need guy time", but that's easier said than done as the repercussions just simply are not worth it. She will make my life far too miserable... So I truly feel your pain.


Wow 4 years ago

I feel dumber after reading this article.


deedub 4 years ago

well i will say it is not always grapes but life is good


waynet profile image

waynet 4 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

I love this discussion....many thanks to all participants!


Mr.Prick 4 years ago

Interesting conversation piece. A conversation that could not go on in any public meeting without the declaration of war at some point.

Anyway......

I met my "wife" about 11 years ago. She followed me around town trying to get my attention for about a year before I engaged in any kind of relationship with her. I should have known then that she had nothing better to do than the find a guardian/provider. I was friends with her ex boyfriend that had left her to deal with a child on her own. I used to give him sh!t for letting the two of them rot while he roamed around uncaring. I took it upon myself to provide some of the things she would need to feel good......a mothers day card, a visit just to sit and talk over coffee etc. no sex at this point! I was not interested in being a father, just in being the friend she didn't have.

Well, naturally things progressed and we ended up having some romance. The ex boyfriend warned me of her behavior and, of coarse, I paid no mind. A few months later she made a suggestion that I move in with her.... her friends were searching for an apartment downtown and I could give them mine and everyone would be happy. I kept the apartment in my name, subletting it out (in case all failed).

I thought everything was going smoothly. She worked part time as a waitress and I commuted 250km a day to work. I would come home from work at around 6:30 or 7:00 and do some chores, cook dinner (to her delight, since I really can cook better than average).

One day she came home and the house was cleaned, dinner done , child settled, everything peachy. She complained that I was taking over the house. I really thought that I was doing things to make her happy and, in turn, make me happy. So I sit down with her to talk things over. She is over barring and when I try to hold her hand and talk nicely about my 'good intentions', she wants no part of the conversation. She just wants to make her points so crassly and then have me move on feeling hurt. When I suggest that my feelings are hurt, she goes on to tell me I am a whiner and too sensitive. I try not to be too effected and move the conversation to another subject.

Next day comes and all was smoothed over rather nicely. So a few weeks later I am sitting on the porch having a beer (my one beer a day after work)and she's talking to me out the window and I am answering her from there and enjoying the serenity of the yard. Suddenly the door whips open and she with fists in the air tells me, "You are not listening to me", and proceeds to give me two wallops front hand and then across again with the back hand. I am stunned as I can't believe what has just happened. I was just struck by a woman. Never mind 'woman'. Man or woman, I would have been just as stunned. This turns ugly. I will not tolerate that and grab her by the neck, up against the siding of the house and raise my voice to tell her, "If she touched me like that again, I would kill her." So know I have assaulted her and uttered death threats.....my fault right??? I tell her that it was a reaction to her action and that any human being in their right mind would have done this or something similar. So a few dats go by and she basically forgets what she has done and fully remembers me assaulting her. The frustration is now mounting.

This kind of thing was happening on a regular basis and I tracked the movement and exchanges in good times and bad times. So when I was ready and felt the timing was right, I confronted her with the 'calender' of events. When this would happen and that would happen. You would think she would see this as a chance to learn about our relationship and prevent outbreaks. But she totally took offense. "I don't have a monthly cycle", she argues. "I won't be put into the same category as the rest of women", she cries. I swear to you people that I tried at all costs to work around the problem with gentleness and understanding. To no avail, sadly.

As far as she was concerned I could do nothing right. I would move the picture there or the lamp over here....wrong and wrong again. Once I cleaned the whole living room. like a spring cleaning. Walls, baseboards, windows, everything out then everything back in clean. So I rearranged the furniture and made everything cozy for her return. thinking all the while how impressed I was and she will be so very happy. She gets in the door and sees the living room changed, "who told you to do that. I don't like it this way". in her bitchiest tone. I feel I have wasted me time and feel hurt. It seems that being a man means that you don't get hurt feelings. Having a heart makes you some faggot and you should just run off with the other faggots.

After a while of this I gave up trying to do this and that to make her pleased and did almost nothing but wait for her orders..... that way I could do no wrong. This behavior makes her mad now. She doesn't want to delegate tasks she just wants me to do things. I tell her I am not willing to take the risk of doing the wrong things at the wrong time......blah blah blah.

I have only touched on the first few years of the relationship. I have lost hope in the thought of having a relationship built on mutual respect. My tolerance level has gone to sh!t. Now when a problem arises, instead of trying to talk sense to the senseless. I go right off the handle. To the point that I am assured she will not respond further. She thinks she in justified in making her sh!tty comment because she doesn't yell and scream. Where I will and I don't care too much who is in the area anymore. Be it her parents, my parents, the kids, or the cops. I just don't give a rats ass anymore.

So I have lost all control over myself and she is there on the side lines laughing at the show I put on. Everyone agrees then that it must be my fault and she can do no wrong because they don't see the way she is behind closed doors.

My biggest mistake people....... I should have charged her the first time she hit me. And got rid of her right then. Why is it that people want to hold on to something like that? what makes us so sure things will change and there is hope for the future? You think it's love?

I tried to live without her for a while. 1.5 years later I found myself back in the same situation.

I am only 40 yrs old, but I am sure I will die soon. Anyway, she knows I am worth more dead than alive. Too bad for her future consciousness.


waynet profile image

waynet 4 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

I do pretty much everything whilst she sleeps and does nothing, but then she has been ill the last couple of years!


Jak 4 years ago

Most people here who commented are not really having big issues but they as a couple made it huge. All you have to do is to talk and find the context of any argument. I work 18 hours a day i.e. 5 days a week but on weekend i keep my wife out of kitchen and help her in all house duties. I look after all duties of my daughter too. This husband and wife relation is all about mutual understanding.


waynet profile image

waynet 4 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

Yay! Good luck!


A Pissed Off Wife 4 years ago

This website is 9 ways to ruin a marriage. I know if my husband did those things to me, it would send me over the edge.


Marie 4 years ago

I get a sinking feeling when he finds something to whinge about as I kick myself. Why did I forget that one thing? Then the whole night is ruined. I try to laugh it off or say nothing and he walks around with a face like a slapped arse for the rest of the evening. Its like I've physically hurt him or something. It's so petty and ridiculous.


Marie 4 years ago

I wrote a first part to this.... My other half nags constantly pick pick mr cynical. It gets tiring. I'm a very positive person. Always up for sex and make a big effort to fulfil his fantasies, cook and clean to perfection, make him feel good about himself. 11 years and he was my first and only. He feels too secure I think. I am loyal and put up with a lot of shit to be honest. Yet when he comes home to an immaculate house in candlelight with a home cooked meal and me scantily clad he enjoys the benefit and then finds something to whine or moan about. It usually starts with 'you haven't done....' or ' mouldy bread tut tut' or the lids off the toothpaste or why don't I make the bed in the morning or 'you can't wear that' or 'my mum wouldn't or Greer it does my head in. I never nag him I couldn't give a shit about wet towels and socks and toilet seats. Lifes too short. Some people can find the little bad things and zoom in on them. One thing I will say though is that women need affection and tenderness and so do men. Both people have to pull their weight and look after each other. He is more selfish than I am and unfair in his nagging but I love him anyway. Sometimes I do want to knock him out though. I don't have that sense of entitlement like I can talk to someone like their a kid. It would make me feel awkward telling a grown man to ' pick his socks up' etc and we've been together 11 years. Nags can be women or men but they usually seek out a non nag to torture


Marie 4 years ago

I also kept the relationship secret for 8 years for his selfish benefit as he didn't want grief from his family and now they know I've left my family and friends and moved a couple of hundred miles to be with him and expected to kiss their arse every day which is fine. I know I'm coming across as a nag.... But I'm just spewing this out here not at home. I think I have made all the sacrifices although I totally appreciate how hard it was for him to tell his family, it wasn't easy for me either coming from a strict Irish family. And by the way, his mum has clarified that I keep house and cook way better than any of her five daughters so that puts an end to the western/ eastern debate. anyway I just saw him grinned and called him a naggy noggin. Said I've found a hub page that has made me realise who the nag actually is. He just sat their like a fish opening and closing his mouth. Told him I fancy a bit of quiet time to chill have a beer and watch tv and that he can go see his kids and nag them. I laughed while I said it an gave him a big hug and kiss. I left him looking dazed. Something for him to think about....


Marie 4 years ago

My boyfriend is a big nag. I only looked this up because in the last coue of months he had started calling me a nag. We've been together for 11 years. All of your suggestions above are the routine he follows whenever I am upset with his constant nagging he just disappears. No presents though just a ton of abuse. He's the only boyfriend I've ever had and I look after him really well. Mentally emotionally physically and in the home. His happiness comes first but he still nags and it does my head in. He can come home to perfection, meal on the table spotless house me sitting there looking sext with a smile on my face but its like he walks around looking for something to pick on and when he finds it ( be it the bread is going mouldy or I've left the old of the toothpaste) he will find it and whinge. He comments on my appearance, the house, I'm not even allowed to speak to him in a certain tone of voice. I am a western woman but was bought up traditionally. He is Asian. Nothing I do seems good enough. He goes running off to his mummy all the time. Can't believe he called me a nag because I found text messages on his phone to another woman that just didn't sit right with me. I'm no flirt and he is. It bugged me. I didn't make a big fuss just got pissed off and I get called a nag and ignored and trodden on.he can just be a big baby and I'm expected to tread on eggshells and give in to his every whim. He works and I don't bit that's only been the last year before then we had our own places and jobs. I resent being called a nag by someone who nags everyone constantly and has been for the last 11 years. I would never expect him to help in the house or do his own shirts or anything. All I want from him is love respect and protection of my feelings. I'm a young attractive woman there is 14 years between us. Is it too much to ask that he doesn't sent provocative messages to fat short middle aged women? Living with a nag is hell but I can cope with it because I love him and I've never called him a nag I've been loyal faithful and adoring. Some people are beyond help.


Dee Dee 4 years ago

Wanna Here is something from a different perspective. All we all want is a little romance. Some great sex and a person who will step up to help us. They married you because they LOVED you. They probably still love you. Don't ignore them and talk to them. Make them feel sexy and they will do the same in return. Ignoring your signifigant other will only put him/her in defensive mode that will in turn push you farther away. Its sad to see marriages end so abruptly nowadays. Nobody wants to "work" for it anymore. It seems like everyone is so used to pointing the finger at the other person. Being part of the problem not the solution. Its all about "Me, me, me, me!". When did marriage become such a single affair. Last time I checked it took two to tango. More of us should experiment in a BDSM relationship. Lol.


Sandra 4 years ago

What if it's your HUSBAND that is a constant, aggravating, pitiful, stomach wrenching, whiny, bitching nag???

I'm not kidding, guys. There are really a few women out there (like me) who don't nag; can't stand nagging; and want to get the hell away from a nagging husband.

Someone help me!!!!!


Millionaire Tips profile image

Millionaire Tips 4 years ago from USA

This is a good way to get divorced. If you want to avoid nagging, simply do what she says the first time, so she doesn't have to remind you. Better yet, remember your responsibilities without having to be reminded!


Roci 4 years ago

The 9 tips you have given is the worst thing you could do in a relationship. You may stop the wife from nagging in the short term but in the long term your relationship will suffer as communication will stop altogether. 90% of the the time she is desiring emotional intimacy and a true partnership.

It is better to use this approach. http://www.nathancobb.com/couple-communication-tip...

If you do not feel like speaking make an appointment to discuss the issue with her. Better yet, make a time every day where both partners can discuss important matters.

If the issue is a minor try a honey do list.

Most importantly, make sure you instill love, respect and trust within the relationship. Do not forget something everyday that makes her feel special.


Joe 4 years ago

Hey Jimbo at the top...your wife hasn't talked to you since......lucky you


bolu 4 years ago

it is better to stay alone than be with a nagging woman, even the bible affirms this. Of all of u that has posted a comment or another here, wu amongst u was a virgin when married?(women). Or who amongst u married the gal he dis-flowered?(men).

My guess; none of u.

My point is most of u ended up wt d back-up guy or gal, not your 1st true love.

As d lord liveth, nagging shall never depart from the home of an uncircumcised woman because her foreskin is where her nagging dna lies.


Jimbo 4 years ago

My wife nags all the time, do this do that. I spend all my spare time with my child, and then when I have a 5 minute break, I get it in the ear. She makes ground rules, and when I stick to them: I get it in the ear. When I demonstrate to her, her unresonabiity bout issues: I get it in the ear. Told her yesterday, just 'cause she thinks it; she isn't always right... Hasn't spoken to me since!!!!


scott 4 years ago

My wife drives me crazy with how shitty she is all the time


woman 4 years ago

I as a woman feel that nagging should be removed from existence

hey women, give the men a break and let them be

don't complicate his life

just surve him, that's your job and he will treat you better someday


Man 4 years ago

All Women need to be controlled by men and even when they should be allowed to speek


Me 4 years ago

These are hilarious!!! However, keep in mind men that not smoking, drinking, and gambling etc, is no excuse for working your wife to death.


Jake 4 years ago

So the solution put out by women (for the most part) is to listen to your wife, give her attention, buy her things, make her feel special, and give her what she is 'nagging' about and this will help eliminate the nagging.

Most men will try this to some degree, but it will never work for any real man. It only works for doormats who can no longer be called men.

No. The solution is NOT to reward bad behaviour (nagging). The more you reward it, the more it will be used against you.

So what is the real solution ?

Let me tell you. It's called being a man. When she starts harassing you with a nag put on your man face and tell her politely:

1) "I am in no mood to listen to this, I heard what you said and I will take it into consideration now stop talking to me or I am going to get mad."

If your wife is sensible she will get the message but it sounds like most of your wives are bad people so they will probably continue with the harassing nag.

When the nag continues and you get a chance to speak politely say:

"I just told you I will take it into consideration, if you continue talking to me I am NEVER going to do what you are asking for."

If she continues harassing, say the following:

"That's it I gave you ample warning, now I am NEVER doing it, end of discussion."

Of course the nag will continue, if not get worse. Every few minutes of her nag cut in with the words:

"I warned you fair and square, it's your own fault."

Things will likely get heated but the important thing is to stick to your guns, repeat the last line as many times as it takes and ensure you NEVER do whatever she was nagging you about and make sure she understands you will NEVER do it because she wouldn't shut up when you gave her ample warning.

You will likely have to do this many times; eventually she will stop nagging when you give her the first warning.

The next step is very important: If she heeds the warning, ensure you reward her by doing what she asked. Make sure she understands you did it because you appreciated her respecting you enough to listen to what said.

The 2 key parts are:

1) Ensuring she understands you will NEVER do what she is nagging you about (when she wouldn't stop nagging).

2)Do what she is nagging about IF she listened to your first warning.

Trust me, this is the solution for real men and I'll explain why.

For the most part you still end up doing what she nagging you about but on your own terms and you are not taking orders from her; you are doing it because she listened to you and didn't try to harass you into it.


Cj 4 years ago

Do men ever stop to think that there is a reason behind the nagging. It is usually from the frustration of dealing with the same issues/problems with the husbAnd. Usually because the man does not want to do his part! Just help out your wife, men, and she will not nag!!!!


M_H_K 4 years ago

Nagging is a disease and it a form of abuse.


Mindiga 4 years ago

Guys, I hanged on for 14 years trying to keep it cool. After that she got bored of me ignoring it and being to cool and thrown me out. My message it that nagging should be discussed and resolved within short time. If it persist it is time to divorce, because if you are unable to resolve a nag, there will be bigger issues coming down the road which will sink you down. So, you should actively communicate with your wife and teach her to express her frustration in a graceful manner, to be able to consider your point of view and to come to a suitable compromise where both sides are making reasonable effort. If she refuses to work this way, just run away as fast as you can and as far as you can. Uncooperative wife will just be demanding more and more and putting you in trouble to work more and more to keep compromise going. If she nags too much just leave. Nagging is destructive, the same way as verbal abuse and should not be tolerated at all. Now I am starting again and not repeating same mistakes. It definitely works better.


Bri58 4 years ago

Okay here I am and this December I and my wife will celebrate 20 yeas of marriage. To all you men that are having problems with your wives, I've seen and heard it all from mine. My wife is a professional nagger. I am her wipping stick and the blame for everything that goes south. There is absolutly no way that your going to win unless you just plane knock her out just to shut her up, but we all know that is not the answer. I cook, clean, do all of the yard work, do all of the laundry most of the time each week and what I get in return is nothing. My wife expects it to be done. I work full time as does she but to her that doesn't matter. It's all about control. My best advise is to ignor ignor and ignor some more. She will finally get the picture that her nagging is having no effect on you at all. They want you to fight back to stay in control. All fighting does is create bad feelings. Just let it go and walk away. Give her a smile from time to time say yes dear and don't let it get to you. I know it's hard not to tell her what you think but trust me this is the best method.


Annie 4 years ago

Iam a 22 year old woman and I live with my boyfriend of four years. I don't nag but my boyfriend nags me. I work almost 40 hours a week and go to school full time. I love my boyfriend so much and he does have two jobs but he only has two jobs to get a little over 40 hours a week. And my boyfriend does help by picking up his clutter, which he hates. We just got a puppy so that does add stress, but he constantly nags me to take of the dog more and clean more. And he constantly calls me to ask me what is for dinner. Honestly I don't mind cooking and cleaning and taking care of the dog but for the last couple of months I have been so busy with longer hours at work and school becoming more hectic, so the apartment is not as clean and I have not been cooking as much. I also have not been cooking as much because I always have to pay for food at the grocery store. I really don't understand that because we pay for all the bills 50/50 which I make sure happens every month on my end. He also nags me if I go out with my girl friends but he goes out all the time. I just don't understand I really really try but it never seems to make him happy. We have had talks about this and tried to communicate but it always turns into what I'm doing wrong all the time. I'm just really sad because I love him and I don't nag him so let me know of anyone has advice?


punchingbag 5 years ago

Im not married to her, but might as well be. My "wife" (so to speak) is the love of my life and childhood sweetheart. We were together for years in hs(during which she cheated and broke up with me thrice) until she dumped me out of the blue at a friends house where I could do absolutely nothing for some college guy(who ended up raping her repeatedly for years). She completely cut me off and threatened to get a restraining order after I called her after a year when I came back for basic training. Even so, when she recontacted me late last year I, of course being decent and capable of not holding grudges ad infinitum, responded. After rubbing her current affair with her ex's best-friend/roommate in my face for weeks, she finally came on to me. Being that I love her tremendously I of course wanted to try again. All downhill from here

At first, she seemed cool. Sex every day. Endless weed. She cant cook a sandwich, but I don't really care about that. I didn't have a mother really so I don't expect a bunch of domestic niceties. Even so, I was snapped on for her dog eating food on the table and "not caring". Just bs. Then she started hitting me and spitting. Somehow this isn't abuse to her. I never hit her but I would restrain her so she didn't follow me out of the room. This was "okay" because I "didn't care about her" so she can attack me. (wtf?) After telling her in a calm rational way why that is wrong and explaining to her that it is particularly hurtful from being abused for 18 years by my schizo mother, that I may react badly to that. Of course this had no impact. So when I push her back that some how makes me a "worthless abusive pos" who "fractured her back and threw her around". She already had a fractured spine from a work injury and has low bone density from celiac disease. Even so, I apologized sincerely and profusely for my reaction. Somehow saying "sorry for X, this is why X happened" is blaming her and dodging guilt, even though the statement is an admission of guilt. This all might be my fault, but she is Bipolar (diagnosed) so I have to fight tooth and nail to get her an appointment, but anytime I raise that as a likely influence on her abusive nagging, she attacks me. Living with a sick animal. Unfortunately Im dependent on her as she would cry and plead for me to move in and to not work. Of course this doesn't stop her from screwing her ex-boyfriend and laughing about it in my face. Im currently waiting to be hit by a car


rommel 5 years ago

I have been married for 14 years now with my nagging wife. We're both physicians.I hope she learns to appreciate what i do and don't do for her. I don't smoke, gamble, drink nor do i respond to other women's advances. I love my wife. We have 2 kids. I work in my clinic the whole day and operate on patients late in the evening. She still nags me especially when it comes to me giving favors for my brothers and parents.My youngest brother is staying with us. I'm just trying to help him out til he finds work, but my wife keeps on nagging that he's not my responsibility. I'm a physical person, i trained in tae kwon do and weights. But I try my best not to lift a finger against my wife. Sometimes her nagging gets so severe that i want to bang either my head or hers on the wall. But I'm still holding on even though I don't know what to do anymore.


epiphany 5 years ago

the root cause of the nagging seems to be the background of wife.usually when your father in law is inferior to you the wife will always try to drag you down to that level in order to justify her father. the father in law will try to get even with you out of jealousy(consciously or unconsciously) by bringing your children to his low level.never marry a woman with a past history of violence.


thereisnoanswer 5 years ago

i was with my wife for nine years, from 21 until 30. At the beginning of our relationship things were great. Then after about 2 years she was a nagger and me being so young didn't understand what this disease was, but I had no intention of sticking around to find out. So I told her its over and I'm moving out, thanks and goodbye. She broke down in a bad way and, having pity on her, I decided to give her another chance. I promised myself that whatever happened I would stand by her through thick and thin. 2 Years later the nagging was back in full force. Once again I told her thanks and goodbye, only this time I was bluffing. Fortunately she took the bait and the nagging came to a sudden stop. Another 2 years down the line and the demon was back. At this stage I was ready to try a different approach because I really loved her. We got married. Things changed quickly. Now she started ignoring me as she knew the nagging was not going to impress me any more. Another 2 years go by and she loses interest in me completely. She says she doesn't love me any more and its over. I freaked out. After all the crap I had put up with over the years she throws me out like a dirty rag. It took me a couple of years to recover from the disappointment but I kept contact with my ex and we are still friends. After the dust settled we got divorced in civil court without lawyers and parted on good terms. The judge didn't understand why we were getting a divorce because we obviously didn't have any bad feelings towards each other. After the heartache subsided I realized what a blessing the divorce was and that my wife had actually released me from years of abuse. It was time to live again!

I perfected the art of short relationships. Women are always so wonderful during the beginning of a relationship. So after 2 to 6 months when the demon raised its ugly head, I cut free and moved on to the next one. Its like they say with sportsman, always stop when your game is at its best.

Some therapists would tell me that this is not the way to go. They told me that if I go on like that I will land up old, alone and miserable. I should get married and become a father. This unsettled me and motivated me to keep looking for the perfect woman.

One day while at a club I meet this woman and we land up spending a lot of time together. We hit it off great and I could speak to her about anything. I thought this was it, I finally found my perfect match. Then, 5 years after my divorce, I get remarried. During the wedding preparations things already start going wrong. I put my worries aside and think it's just her nerves as the big day comes closer. I even get one of my best friends to have a word with her about her behaviour but it only makes things worse. A year into the marriage and I can already tell how things are going to turn out. I have tried everything. I did ALL the housework, earned the money, took her on nice holidays, spent time with her family. I am the butler, cleaner, cook, entertainer and sponsor in my little home and do you think I get a second of peace? You must be crazy! After all shes a woman isn't she? I live in fear. I fear going home in the evenings so I work late and go to gym after work. I fear my wife coming home when I'm home alone so I either go to bed before she gets home or I go out before she gets home. Whenever I am at home I make sure everything is clean and tidy and there is food in the fridge so that there is less chance of attack. But she always finds a reason to be angry with me.

I can see that pretty soon I'll be back doing what makes me happy and anyone who has a problem with that, obviously knows something that I don't.


same boat 5 years ago

Really appreciate got a clue’s comments, along with so many of the men who have posted here. I think it’s more of a gender thing here, or just that type of personality, I used to think the same way as some of the posters here, these self absorbed, spoiled rotten, me first, what have you done for me lately American women. I went way out of my way to find an Asian woman, because I was told that they really know how to appreciate their men, loving, caring, and they age better than their American counter parts. I found a wonderful Filipino woman. We have been married almost 15 years, and I love her so much, but … she seems to go from Angel too Demoness, in short, she’s a nagger.

If she doesn’t get it immediately, she tells us over and over and over on infinitum. And even if she does get here way she just moves on to the next gripe. And at this stage in our lives it’s even worse for me as … well she’s right. Too clarify that, we were both displaced from our previous jobs, (they went to Mexico). Well along with losing my job I lost my mother, too cancer. She used to babysit our sons while we worked, and I am very picky about who takes care of our boys. I have been without work for a long time. So she says if we only both work we will be okay. However our past does not support this view. It always seems that “if only” starts off many of her complaints. “If only” you made more money, (said about the jobs I have had since we have been married) I should mention that before we were married I had the same job for 10 years. (The economy was better and no kids to find a babysitter for) “If only” we didn’t live in this house, “If only” you would do everything I say. She is also of the opinion that she is always right. Not my words hers. And sadly “If only” I had never married you. I sometimes wish I were dead, But then I feel bad about feeling that way, cause what would happen to my sons? We are very close.

She has nagged me about growing my beard back something I had when we first started writing, sent her a picture and everything, she knew. So I finally shaved it off. But I don’t eat right, I don’t walk right, I don’t wash the dishes or clothes the right way, I don’t discipline the children right, I sometimes think I can’t do anything right according to her. When she’s in her angel mood, it’s great, our sons respond better, (you would think that might be a clue for her) and everything is really great. But when she metamorphoses into her demon state, the best us guys can do is try not to upset her too much. Talking with other guys, we have come to the conclusion that all women must be schizophrenic, or are really possessed by both an angel and a demon. What’s a guy to do, can’t live without them, but sometimes it’s really, really hard to live with them.


gotaclue 5 years ago

I have constantly struggled with going on and on about things that my children or husband do that upset me. I have felt that they "don't get it;" they need to hear my reprove over and over to "get it". I've been trying to work on this part of myself and today I had a conquering moment. My son called me at 12 noon, from school he never calls at this time and from the sound of his voice the pit in my stomach dropped. I immediately started thinking the worst. He began speaking with a tone in his voice that said "I know I'm going to get Mom's wrath". He told me he had accidentally left his retainers on his lunch tray, he tried to go back for them but it was too late, they went through the shredder. I felt the words working their way from my brain to my mouth, I wanted to say "I told you to be careful, I told you that they are expensive to replace and now you will have to use some of your hard earned money to replace them...; and on and on. Then, I stopped my brain. I thought about what strength it must have taken to call me and take responsibility for his actions. He knew he would have to help replace them, he knew he had made a mistake, he knew. I simply said "Thank you for calling and telling me, I love you." I think my son walked around school the rest of the day wondering who had replaced his mother, or if he had called the wrong number. At that moment, I truly felt bad that I hadn't done this more often as he was growing up. All those times I nagged could have been replaced with acknowledgment of what he did and consequence, period; Followed by constant reminders that regardless "I love him." Yes, it will be tough to take his money to replace them, he worked hard for it, but I know that by accepting responsibility and being accountable instead of making excuses he is growing into a young man I am truly proud of. And I hope that by my response I am also a mom he can be proud of in return. I am so thankful that I talked to someone who knew how to cut to the chase, with words of wisdom. From someone who is working daily to be a better mom and wife.


KH 5 years ago

Fed Up - I read through your entire story, I am a women and your woman is crazy!! She is ungrateful, selfish, and NEEDY!!!! You sound like a great guy who is getting the life sucked out of him. At 28, you should be having fun in life, enjoying this phase with your daughter. Good luck


she is nagging right now 5 years ago

HELP


waynet profile image

waynet 5 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

I've been called a useless bastard and stuff like that when my wife was on her jam rags or feeling down but I understood and supported her feelings and such even though being called names hurts even from someone you love....but in reality it is all one sided with Women able to say what they want and pretty much get what they want...I wanted a Luke Skywalker Star Wars figure when I was a kid, but could I find one?...NOOOOOOOOO all the other figures were there, Darth Vader and the rest and some silly little wench next door screams the house down for the same figure and gets it from a cross town drive of nearly 200 miles down to London.....

I tell my wife that we do have the equivelant of a period and that's having to shave everyday and that is even stevens in the gender war!

Cheers for your input guys, this discussion has become something else entirely! lol!


Fed UP 5 years ago

Ok, Carmen- so a man showing a negative emotion ONE TIME constitutes him becoming the cause of the problem... It might come as a surprise to you, being a woman and all, but men have emotional reactions as well- they are usually just taken out in the form of a sport, drinking, or other venues- we don't typically talk about our "drama". However, if I have a moment where I call my wife a bad word, then that does not make me the problem- but that is something my wife would say... I guess most women really are that clueless.


Carmen 5 years ago

Seriously, Fed UP? I'm a woman and was willing to read through your entire missive and was, in fact, pretty sympathetic through much of it. But when you referred to your "f’ing wife", you became the problem and no longer someone who was really searching for a solution.


Fed UP 5 years ago

So, you want to hear a fun story about an unappreciative wife...

I am a 28 year old who is a war veteran; I do not drink, smoke, gamble, or any of those other "bad habits". I went to college and finished top of my class with two separate majors, earning two bachelors degrees in the finance and accounting industries. I am in great shape and take care of myself, which I do before I go to work in the morning, so as not to interfere with my "family time" as my wife calls it. Also, some might assume that I am a workaholic, but no, I work 40-45 hours/week as is the average for most middle class. I earn a nice salary and I also make a fair shake by trading in the stock markets to put us in a situation that we have over $60,000 in net cash to the bank every year- from just me alone.

It may be coming across through what I have written that I am conceited or too proud of myself, but really I am just a down to earth guy. I am just trying to give some basis for my comments to show my situation.

My wife and I have a 1 year old baby girl and a nice place to live. I have given her a great home, love, attention, stability, and I even pay for her to go back to college.

Now this part is worthy of its own explanation- I put myself through college on the GI Bill and ended up finishing college with $10,000 in the bank, which started as $30,000 that I saved up while in the military and overseas. My wife put herself through college on $60,000 in college loans (with an adjustable rate by the way), and $12,000 in credit card debt. All of which she told me about just months before we were getting married.

Ok, so now she wants to go back to college and get her Masters... Apparently, getting your degree in biology isn't a smart idea, since biology doesn't have any economical basis, unless you have your masters or better.

So, already in $75,000 debt from her first attempt at college, she wants to spend another $10,000 (in loans of course) to finish her masters. This means the household gets less attention, I get to watch the baby alone a few nights a week, no more guys night ("family time" is more important... so she says), and I get to share in the household duties, since she is a full-time student and mother now. I have ALWAYS helped around the house, keeping up after myself and taking care of any and all yard work. I also help clean up after dinner- even though we go out three times a week just to make it easier. I go grocery shopping with her on the weekends, because she can't shop and watch the baby by herself (this is too difficult you see...).

Also, the house only gets cleaned once a week (on the weekends) and I help with this.

So, in summary, I work full-time, make a great living, pay $1,000/month in student loan repayments (and will continue for then next 20 years), support my wife's dreams, am a great father, have alienated all my friends, never do anything for me, no bad habits, and I even take care of the child 50% when I get home from work.

Even though I do all of this, I have been called insensitive and unsupportive, I have been told that I don't flourish her with enough emotional kindness and flattery (despite the date night I created for her), and apparently, I make her angry all the time.

She has her good times- every few months she has a couple weeks where she is great, but then... she turns right back into the devil. I am constantly walking on eggshells to make sure I don't say the wrong thing or worse, don't say the right thing. She nags me for months at a time about how hard things are for her and always waits for me to help her with anything more than taking a crap.

Now that she is in college, she is complaining about her work load and has even asked me to help write research papers for her to ease her load. (I am also studying for the CPA exam- for those who know what that entails)... Last night, she told me that she may not want to go back to college for this- despite already paying a non-refundable $4,000 tuition payment.

Last night I told her to get a grip on reality, suck up what she has already committed to, and finish what she started. This led to much more nagging and finally I went to bed, without her.

My wife has no reality of the cost of things- she has asked that I get her a new car, since her car isn’t big enough for our family of three… She drives a small SUV! She also has broken three computers by going on random websites and bit-map sites and downloads viruses onto our computer. Now, she wants me to buy a $1500 computer so that it won’t keep breaking. After telling her that viruses destroy expensive and cheap computers alike, she gets upset and nags me that it isn’t her that gets the viruses and that she isn’t a child. Also, expensive computers have better anti-virus software… I told her they all use Norton or the other packages- she abruptly began nagging more because I argued back.

Lately, I have been meaner with her, telling her the facts straight rather than being gentle about things- either way, the end result is the same. I will have forgotten about any fights the next morning, but she will LITERALLY hold out on her anger until I make it better.

I really love her, but even love might not be strong enough to deal with this emotional roller-coaster that is my married life. We have been married for three years, and this is getting worse. Also, for you women posting here, sitting down and listening to the problems only makes things worse for us men. I have done this many times and the problem just keeps changing. It is a continual thing that is not something that we men can resolve. For a while, she wanted me to lower my OCD levels (which I do have some of that- I like things to be taken care of and not left open for months)- I did this. Instead of asking anything of her, I fixed/did it myself.

A few months later, we had another discussion- this time I wasn’t flowering her with the same emotions and flattery that I showed to her when we were dating, in the beginning… (Who the heck does that on a daily basis? Early dating is an interview, not a lifestyle!). My rebuttal was that we don’t have sex like we did when we were dating, in the beginning and she told me that maybe we would if I treated her like I did back then… Stupid argument, since I didn’t support her succubus needs when we were dating- I guess this isn’t true, since I am now paying for the loans she was collecting when we met…

Now, it is a different problem that I have yet to ask what it is. This whole round-a-bout listening crap doesn’t work. It makes me much more on edge and resentful, even if it does make her feel better for a short time. All it is a constant stressor on me, as it adds to the daily duties I have to perform- or else, and it only serves to stop the nagging for a short time period before she finds something else to nag about. To date, I have to do everything for myself- small things like shipping packages on Saturday, because she won’t ship them in a reasonable time and I have to remind her daily to do it (this was the first nagging issue, remember?), and now, if I let me guard down and don’t show her affection on a daily basis, then the nagging continues.

If I sit down with her again and determine the next issue, then I will just be adding more junk to my already filled plate.

So, women might say that I am lazy, or dominating, or expecting my wife to be my mom, etc, but none of those things are true. I just want her to stop nagging and live peaceably. I can even handle the financial strain, cleaning up and shopping with her on my weekends (as well as maintaining the cars and doing anything I need to do on my days off), watching the baby for her so she can get her next level degree (she has no career in mind by the way). And lastly, divorce is something that I am strongly considering at this point, but since we have a daughter who I love more than anything, I am concerned that my f’ing wife might get custody and create more trouble for me outside of marriage than in marriage.

I am a great guy who got caught up in a nagging succubus trap. Now, I think I am just going to have to turn in


Fed UP 5 years ago

Testing..testing..


joe 5 years ago

My wife has been the bitch from hell from the get go. I dealt with it cause it was all I knew in women from girlfriends way on back. 3 years into our relationship the sex stopped, but I had a carreer to build and had to concentrate on things. When we married and moved into our first home, she cried and threw a tantrum on the first night we took occupancy. As my carreer took off the money came in and we were never at a loss for anything. Still though, she would make trouble where none existed. Endless fights with the neihbors, veterenarians, store clerks...you name it. Then she got laid off (guess why), and never picked up another job. This became her new reason to hate me. I had a purpose in life. She did have her gardens and dogs, so that was a plus. Her mom got on in years and moved in with us. I loved that old lady, but wifey nagged her also and life became a living hell. Then the wife got breast cancer. I found a better job that allowed me to work from home. We sold our house and moved to a resort town. Four years later we have not found a home, cause nothing is good enough for her. I am at my wits end. Finally had to make a stand. I told her "pick a home or I will buy one myself". If she didn't have cancer I would be out...out...out!! I can not in my right judgment, devorce this woman and leave her to fend for herself, but everyday is another adventure in verbal abuse. If there is nothing wrong, she will find a way to turn everyday into a f'n nightmare. I buy flowers, I hug, I try to be understanding, but every holiday, every birthday is another installment of drama. I am willing to pay for her to live by herself and pray everyday for the claryty to see my way through this..


Harry Vawijk 5 years ago

at Not alone 6 weeks ago

------------

I have read your story and will pray for you this night

You are not alone in this, many guys suffer under a marriage where the wife drops more then just her instinct responsibility. If you wish to speak, email me at myplacemaze@yahoo.com


Deanna 5 years ago

My husband is the one who nags in the relationship, so the comments about Modern Western women are interesting to say the least! I know my husband nags when he feels that he's not being listened to, so he acts in a way that will get him an instant reaction. I call his "to do" list his "wish" list. The only step from 1 to 9 in the article that works for me is #1, find a space for yourself. Other then that, the only way my husband stops nagging is when I listen for his main point, ignore the personal attacks and the demeaning tone, and address whatever issue he's trying to raise. He's a smart, hard working man and an amazing father to his kids, his opinion is important to me and

I know he means well, so I try not to lose my cool. Over the years the nagging has reduced dramatically, he realizes I take him seriously. It's not perfect, but better. When he gets on my nerves, I go to the spa for the afternoon...


YouKnow 5 years ago

Let's keep it real here. Some men are plain out lazy and really do expect women to do everything like they own their mother's name. A woman who does everything for her man and gets fed up with being treated like a damn slave in the house cooking, cleaning up the pee off the floor from a drunken miss-aim, constantly doing dishes, washes the sheets he came on etc. etc. Sometimes a little help is nice, especially when it comes to the point that the woman actually asks. Why not give the courtesy and actually help instead of "yeah, ok, I will.." which we all know means "I'm going to sit on my ass until she gets fed up and does it herself." Word of advice, listen to your woman sometimes and it will guarantee you more frequent blow jobs and less arguing. Worked for me.


Dan 5 years ago

My wife complains from the moment she wakes up, there really isn't anything we can do but leave or stay and die faster.


Not alone 5 years ago

My wife likes to keep me up all night with her nagging. She will take these age old arguments we have never resolved & decide to fix them & me @ 1am in the morning. I get told that I am lazy, that I do not listen, that I do not understand her & that she doesn't think I am hearing her. Really the only thing I can say is O.K or Yes dear. However if I say those things then she says I am not being sincere. Then she repeats herself over & over again because she feels I didn't hear her. That is the worst part. I tell her I heard her but just disagree. This sometime goes on for days. I guess she thinks she can change my mind by repeating her self over & over & over. It must not matter to her that I have to work in the morning.

I have tried all the things you have mentioned above & while I am amused I confess they mostly fail. I have considered divorce but I have a 7 year old son & I do not trust my wife to take care of him. I am scared that he will be neglected & this has happened alot in the past. When we first had my son she wouldn't even change his diapers. I am afraid that if I divorce my wife will get custody. My wife damages my stuff & she hits me. I do not get help around the house & she will not help my son with home work. My wife goes to college part time & has not worked since we were married. I feel like I do the bulk of everything & then I get nagged. We have been to several Therapists & it has not done any good. My wife out right told one therapist that they were wrong after they sided with me on an issue.

Sometimes I wish I would get struck by lightning. I wish my wife would understand that I am the person I am & not the person she is trying to mold me into.

I am angry, confused & not alone. There is some sick comfort in knowing that I am not the only one going through this. Pray for me please.


MC 5 years ago

I agree with lyn3182. It takes two to tango. This article is about how to "fix" the other half rather than try to work it out together. I agree that nagging can put people off, but if you really want to make the marriage works, put yourself in the other ppl's shoes first. Then naturally, other ppl will tend to accept your view more.

It always works both ways, both guys and girls have to be understanding and tolerate. Of course there are differences and also the fact that the opposite attracts. Some fine tuning need to be done to live together. There's why they say Guys are from Mars and Girls are from Venus.


KwakPhil 5 years ago

Reading all this comments has made me feel a bit better. I'm not married, so it may seem like I have a way out but like one of the guys here said, training a new mule is going to be more difficult. I really hope they find the DNA code that makes women nag and take it out. It's going to make a much bigger impact than curing cancer. Cancer ends life. Nagging ends the quality of life.


me 5 years ago

My fiancé / boyfriend and i live together. He gets into these moods where he bleeds me dry. Sucks all my attention. I need space after a long day at work and he is constantly nagging me that i ignore him. I have hardly any time to myself. I thought men needed a cave, but I do too... I don't know if i can take it much longer. I think he is being controlling. I don't really know what he wants. Does he think pestering me will make me want to be with him more? I've thought of not coming right home after work so i can at least read my email at the library or something. Losing touch with friends and family, I think it is part of his plan to totally dominate my life. also he is a slob! cleaning up after him constantly. i probably nag him once in a while about that, but i am an independent sort who takes responsibility for myself generally. I like things cleaner than him so i just do it. not that much of an issue with me, i knew he was like that when i first saw his house. it seems to me he is looking for a mother/therapist/playgirl. Grrrr


lyn3182 5 years ago

Holy Cannoli, what a bunch of self-absorbed whiners! Are you even listening to yourselves? It's like it's all about you...which is probably why you're being "nagged". Generally speaking, guys, when something's not right in a marriage, there are TWO people to blame. Instead of deciding it's all your wife's fault, how about taking some responsibility for yourselves....that's right. You are 50% to blame for the state of your marriage. Your attitude proves it. If you have so little respect for your wife to be spweing the nasty BS you're writing here, you can't expect her to respect you either. You reap what you sow gentlemen. Why not try improving YOUR behaviour and see what happens? Why not listen to what your wife is REALLY saying when she nags, and do something about it instead of coming on here and complaining to a bunch of strangers that can't do a thing to improve your marriage, because they are too busy feeling sorry for themselves. How about get some marriage counselling? If you really truly want to improve your marriage and be happy why not actually DO something instead of just complaining and expecting your wife to make all the changes. I'll say it again: it takes TWO. If you spent as much energy on fixing (truly FIXING) your marriage by fixing your half of the problem as you do complaining, you'd have a Waaaaaaay better marriage.


Jason 5 years ago

In the comments there are a few "nagging sympathizers". They make excuses for the nagging wife => "it's the husbands fault because he doesn't pay attention to her", etc...

These sympathizers are probably the naggers and unfortunately they just don't get it. Nagging isn't going to make your husband pay attention to you. Being genuinely nice to him. Helping him. Making efforts for him. Not talking bad about him when he is not around.

If you want attention fix your nagging problem, be nice to him, and make a genuine effort for him. 99% of the time this will cure your 'lack of attention' issues.


waynet profile image

waynet 5 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

Don't know! I may develop an intensive therapy session myself and go from there!


Spacey Gracey profile image

Spacey Gracey 5 years ago from Essex, UK

some of them have spent ages bashing out their anger onto a keyboard for all the world to read - is there an international Samaritans number you can publish for the more mentally unstable readers?


waynet profile image

waynet 5 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

Yeah lol! there are some stellar comments from the victims of nagging here... I may do a follow up next year entitled 9 ways to help a nagged husband!


Spacey Gracey profile image

Spacey Gracey 5 years ago from Essex, UK

I just had to come and check the hub out - so glad I did. The hub is good, but the comments are absolutely hilarious. You should do a series then put the comments in a book. I am especially loving "Even if you give her extra-ordinary orgasims everyday yu still have to deal with loads of her bull."


Mayu 5 years ago

To Peter K 7 months ago Post.. I bet she will not change and things will go worst after she starts to work. If she earn 100$ and u earn 1000$ Still she will behave as if only she works and u are a useless butt. She will be good at work and work place ppl but at home she will be like ur enemy and that will really hurt you. She needs psyco doctor. Even 2nd day she will say that she will leave the job and take care of kids but she will not leave the job. and for sure u cannot even relie on her money. U can try and see for urself.


Peter 5 years ago

Welcome to naganonomous. Thank you for sharing.


John 5 years ago

I married for the 2nd time to a Colombian women she pratically had nothing working all day traeted like a slave at work she did not even had a washing machine i had my own house not perfect as i had to pay as wife off this women would never had achance to have own house and all she does is complain about the house how i clean the house she just don't stop instead of being happy she got her own place she is working in uk who don't treat like a slave Is she happy NO she statrs an argument than I gets the blame or if u saying anything she want like it.She said I don't forget what u saying to me,I tried telling her I am not her slave and she all she likes doing is given orders about cleaning I do try but its never good enough.Her latest comment is You not going to change and I have to do something about it. If the laws in this country where different I show her the door She knows that I am traped I cant afford to pay her off.Did I mention she learned to drive she got a car.And alwaysnaging, Her sister leaves in one of the shanting towns.......... Tin roofs My greatest mistake thougt than women from these countries are better What a Joke


upal19 profile image

upal19 5 years ago from Dhaka

I've noticed it that the women physically weak are prone to nagging. So, it needs to take them at first to a doctor to find out the cause of their weakness. Some nagging women are taught it by their mothers. these are also manageable but it takes some time.


Jason 5 years ago

I read all of the messages above, and I have a possible solution for you guys:

Step 1:

Be a man. Tell her you are a man. Say it regularly and say it to every nag.

Step 1 could get her angry but remember you are the man.

Repeat Step 1 but this time say it like you are saying it to a child. ie. as if you are explaining to her that you are a man and that she genuinely doesn't get it.

This is likely to get her angry, but you have said nothing wrong as you are a man. Continue repeating step 1, not to inflame her, but rather to educate her on this fact.

How will this work ? I'm not sure but it seems to work for me.


waynet profile image

waynet 5 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

Hahahaha lol!


theBigM 5 years ago

My wife is driving me up the bloody wall. I work my arse off and all I get is how she "never has time to do anything" despite her not working.

Absolutely EVERYTHING is my fault, she takes no responsibility for anything. If she is late, it's my fault for helping with my son, etc. I'm sicked and tired of it!

An old joke: Why do most men die before their wives?

Because they want to!


guytin23 5 years ago

wife is so fking insecure, dumps her shXte on me. sometimes wished shed just frecking get on with things and quit fuking moaning about things. you see soldiers loose arms legs etc and get on with it, but women.. lose it over nothing... some need a reality check.. bigtime.


rahool 5 years ago

wifes - can't live with them & can't live with out them.


prasad8282 5 years ago

My Wife don't like me to work late. My job is such requries me to stay late or work from home. She is even threathining for a divorce.


anon 5 years ago

Thank God my father is not alone.He has put with my nagging mom for the past 25 years.My Mom is nice to me but a devil incarnate for my father.One of the things about a marriage is : no marriages are perfect..thanks to the ubiquity of nagging wives..but the comforting thing is that you are not alone..so many people have and will go through this..this is what this site has shown me.


danimal1st 5 years ago

My wife is driving me nuts. She looks for the littlest spark to ignight the volumous gas in her heart to have a reason to follow me around and nag me. She's follow me in the car if i leave and go into public places to continue her hagging. She won't stop (i timed it 4 1/2 hours non-stop!). I'm afraid I'm going to knock her lights out one of these day


Nagged 5 years ago

I am beginning to think that I should preemptively nag her. "Honey, could you clean the toilet"

"Will you please vacuum"

Leave a list of chores for her to do before I get home.


Matt 5 years ago

My wife makes me want to blow my brains out sometimes.


nagee 5 years ago

nagggahhhh - see you next tuesday


Lee 5 years ago

if my wife starts second guessing me or nagging about petty stuff I know her self esteem is low and she needs a serious reality makeover, but I just tell her straight shut up of be on the next Bus, it always works .The only thing is how long can I put up with this stupid, vain patronizing creature I know know.

If she told me to " shut up " enough times, I would get the message.Is there such a thing as a personality transplant.Ok, yeah its called a divorce, but it takes too long to train another Mule.


Jim 5 years ago

Googled and wound up here. I'm glad I'm not the only one dealing with the painful nagging. It's always a mind game; what she says, what she doesn't say. Today I think her spell is somehow related to Christmas decorations.

Good luck to you all.


joseph 5 years ago

I think each woman is unique and it is her choice if she wants to nag or what have you. I married a filipino woman too, And I get my fair share of nagging throughout the day. Just from small things like forgetting to put the cap back on the toothpaste and stuff like that. I do the cooking, the cleaning, the washing of clothes and sitting the toddler (while juggling a job) and if I do a terrible job, it's like a crazy guilt trip. And then she will start doing things half heartedly. You can tell I just got nagged as well and PS tonight I sleep on the couch.


Steve Jones 5 years ago

I married a Mexican woman and she is a steamroller. Everything was fine until we had our first kid. Her family moved in and tried to completely marginalize me and my family (Of course, they were really trying to help and just love me, especially me, to death). By the time I moved them out, our relationship deteriorated. Just imagine, we left the city where her parents lived just to get away from them. Wew are now 2,000 miles from her parents and 70 miles from mine, but mind you, we still see her parents 10 times more than mine. Never seen anything like it. She bitches about everything. Now she hates me for not letting her pushy parents take over. I quit my job to take care of the kids. I pretty much do everything related to the kids and just took on cooking as well. It's amazing how entitled she feels. We had agreed that at 8 PM, after my 11 nonstop hours with the kids, that she would take care of the little one, after I put the bigger one in bed. She always comes up with some excuse about how tired she is and how she can't deal with the little one. So there I am about 16 hours a day with the kids, day after day, no weekends. I think that some of these tips are actually pretty good. I have learned to simply ignore her when she gets all riled up, especially in front of the kids. Since her family is one of those that tries to take over, I had to break off my relationship with her family just to keep things balanced. So, it pisses the hell out of her if I organize my own birthday party and do not invite her folks. She will not help and will be sour the two or three weeks running up to my B-day. Bitch at everything, and I know why. So, I sing instead of answering which quiets her down. However, I do take the opportunity every now and then to strike back. You do have to do that to kind of level things out. She does have this enourmour capacity to read and say stupid things, so I let her know how stupid something she said is. And you do need to get away every once in a while, just to keep yourself sane. A walk, go to the movies wihout telling her, etc. I finally had to sit down with her parents and tell them I had had enough. So finally, even though she really hated me for doing that, 6 months later, my pushy, ignorant, braindead inlaws are beginning to cool down, and perhaps we can go back to where we were before. ANYWAY, Mexican women are not always respectful or obedient. Actually many Mexican women have this love-hate, manipulating relationship with their mothers, who will always invariably try to take over, so BE CAREFUL which Mexican woman you marry. Get to know her family, and if they are very "UNITED" make sure you are living 2,000 miles away from them.


Leo 5 years ago

Some suggests going after foreign women. What?! You have spoiled your own country women and now want someone's else? The women you get in the US are the women you have created. You are the voter and didn't you vote for those laws that made them such? Stay with your own creation. Enjoy what you have voted for and don't touch others unspoiled treasure.


bored 5 years ago

@ Josh if I had read this 11 years ago I surely would not have married. Even if you give her extra-ordinary orgasims everyday yu still have to deal with loads of her bull. Nowadays women tend to go to the extreme because in most cases they have the law on their side so you try touch them you lose evrything its a sad state of affairs (excuse the pan) but we are in real mess with TV asserting rights and us being reduced to slave for them it is nightmare. The problem is when we grew up we are socialise to make marriage the ideal union yet the ideal one should an open system which allows the aggrieved part to walk away. Last, I must say by simply reading these comment I feel much better so we all are in trouble guys.


josh 5 years ago

i came across this page because my unstable girlfriend is nagging me to buy a house... she doesn't want any of the responsibility that comes with home ownership. she isn't paying anything toward it. I am in my early 20s... I don't need this sh.t and I really don't want to end up like acme of the earlier posters I read


Callie 5 years ago

It is hard to believe that those who have posted very critical comments want more than a woman who will follow them wherever, will cook and clean, and will be available for all other "marital activities" at any time.

"Nagging" also means that the wife doesn't feel her husband is listening to her or even respects her. Think about how you've "tried to help". Have you actually paid attention or just listened to her comments and dismissed them if she still had additional questions?


Peter 5 years ago

At first I listened to my girlfriend, tried to understand where she was coming from, worried about her problems with her, and tried to help. Nothing seemed to change or help, and did not seem to be appreciated. Now I don't bother with this, i just kind of ignore it, and concentrate on my own things. No difference. So look after yourself.


Dekko 6 years ago

Is there a Samantha from bewitched type of wife out there

She was perfect


mike 6 years ago

nagging is working different in women and men.If your girlfriend or wife nagging it mean she got a problem in her personal life and needs to take your attention to listen to her or your relationship is somewhat in turmoil and if you get angry because of her complains you would make the issue more complex.You have to interpret her language and find out layers behind that kind of nag.but when a man is nagging it means something is seriously wrong and should be fixed.


waynet profile image

waynet 6 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

Oh they nag so as to control us....great!


Jane 6 years ago

Here is the secret - wifes nag not actually because of the small things they are nagging about. They nag because they are not happy. They are not happy because perhaps your body gestures or face expressions are showing them that you don't actually respect their opinions or they feel like they are being minimized. The more they are let to feel that way with your negative responses when they express their requests, the more they will nag, and it will eventually distroy your marriage.


waynet profile image

waynet 6 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

yay! we are naggers too!


Ellen 6 years ago

My boyfriend of 3 years turned out to be the biggest nag since he moved in with me and my two boys. I'm not confrontational and I don't nag him about anything. Talking doesn't work so I ignore it. It means nothing anyway. By ignoring it, I can avoid an argument and enjoy him. We ski, hike, jetski, play tennis, go to concerts, n local venues. But I feel like I'm the guy in the relationship. The other day I said "shut the f--- up". It was a first. He ignored me for rest of day.

I don't care. He is a hottie and we will probably have a good weekend. But I'm not going to marry the guy. If he stops nagging then I would in a heart beat. I guess my point is it's not just woman that nag


Mathew 6 years ago

Married for 37 years, my wife's nagging is getting worse

every day. In everything, she finds fault with me, but she will never say sorry, please etc. I would like to

leave her alone for my sanity and peace, but the economy

made it very hard for me to make a decision. Living with

her is nothing but hell. I taught her how to drive 36 years

back, I drive 10 times of mileage than she does every

year, but while driving with her, she will tell me, how to drive.

I got mad at her many times, but there is no hope. Now, I find peace by sitting in another room, reading something to relax. Marriage is made in heaven, but

living in hell on earth before going to heaven is a

terribly bitter experience every day of life. This may

be the great tribulation as written in the Bible.


Jeffrey Allen 6 years ago

been married now 3 times..all three professional naggers. Starting to think this marriage stuff is something that is not natural. There are tribes in the Amazon that have free relationships and no marriage. Look at the bigamists, they have many women and seem to be happy more or less. In Morrocco, you can have the amount of women you want as long as you can care for them. I know it sounds really sexist, but women do not have feelings, they have emotions...acting constantly on the emotoin of the moment. Men on the other hand have feelings and act more over time. I am still married to my third wife, who is from Europe...should have had taken heed to the nagging mother of her´s, as she is little by little starting to sound the same. In the end, if it flies, floats or f***s, better rent it.


WIves are same all over the world  6 years ago

I have married a japanese women from when I worked in Asia , we ve been married for 6 years and it seems like a lifetime. Initially I thought it was the cultural differences but it turns out all the same.

We have a kid and all she does in moan, how tired she is how hard it is to go to the supermarket, she cant cook a meal, washing up is to tiresome.

Howver when she has permission to and spend hundreds of $ on having her hair done and buying designer clothes she is happy.

What I find is that womens insecurities border on the insane, With my previous Western girlfriend she was a nag if she didn't get her way then she would have a tantrum I then decided to take advantage of it and convinced her she had a problem with her facial hair, i continued this until we broke up and to my amusement have been informed that she took out a loan for laser hair full body removal for 3000$. Its quite simple the brain is split differently in to parts , A mans brain - at the front sex or porsche normally both - a womens brain - am i fat in most cases yes , I need more shoes its the only part of my body I feel comfortable with.

Top of the Brain - Mans Brain - money career and competion with other men - sports etc. Womens Brain - Am I fat today - Need more shoes , Ahh I broken my nail.

Back of Brian - Mans brain - Birthdays , Keeping the wife happy, shopping, pleasing others. Womens Brain - Shoes Shoes Shoes.

Its simple the womens brain is not as evolved as a mans brain, they may think they are cleverer but once you know their weak side its great to have some fun.

Example next time she is bitching you can say " I know " repeat this every so often, her mind will spiral into a frenzy ... Her mind will think He knows all these things i bitching about what going on he knows he knows, then she will go into to crazy...


waynet profile image

waynet 6 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

Yeah, bring in the reverand and exorcise her.......


Peter K 6 years ago

My wife is probably the biggest nag in the world but has some good traits. We have been married for about 12 yrs and have two great kids. My wife will never make me a coffee, or breakfast but occasionally makes me a dinner. My wife does not work at all. I am the breadwinner. I work 5 - 7 days a week depending on my week, love my children, consider myself to be a good father and husband, but somehow and for some reason I am nagged at with words such as "lazy" hurled at me on the odd occasion. My wife tries ever so hard to control my thoughts / mind, however I am strong willed and do not lower myself to this standard. My wife announces everything that she does, whilst I just do it. If my wife has to wash clothes (our washing machine does that anyway) , she will say "I have to do the washing" in a way which is considered a chore. Evry thing in fact is a chore for my wife. On top of all that, she is a vegetarian. I eat everything, no fuss, no complaints and my kids are slightly fussy but eat veges and meat. we have absolutely nothing in common and we have really grown apart in the space of 12 yrs. My wife always seems to balme me for everything and hurls abuse at me at any given point in time. She is unpredicatable in what hse says or is about to say and that is what scares me. I have learnt to switch off but I feel that I am married to a robot that only cares about herself. It is trully a nightmare living with this demonised woman however I am showing a brave face for my children. My wife will alot of the time fling abuse at me in the presence of my children, swear , call me names for no justified reason. My wife has opted to stay at home to look after the children. recently I said to her 'It's time for you to go back to work and I will look after the kids." this is how I feel the matter will be resolved. Keep her busy and on the same token would give her a meaningful life. Every second I get to myself or when my wife feels that I am happy, she will make an effort to KILL the atmosphere and will direct me to do tasks eg. take the garbage out, clean the kitchen , all of that kind of stuff. To me its clear mental abuse, however I can see past her. Do you think a wholesome exorcism might help her. She is clearly "out of control".


jamiesweeney profile image

jamiesweeney 6 years ago from Philadelphia, PA

Wow, I'm glad I'm from the old school. My husband and I have a lot of respect for each other and get along great. I think it's the mentality in a marriage. If both people are always thinking "What can I do for him/her?" instead of "What should he/she be doing for me?" it works much better. It's the difference in trying to be a giving hearted person vs. being a selfish, wanting person. It's the Universal Law Of Reciprocation, or The Golden Rule, "Do to/treat others like you would like them to do/treat you."


Amanda 6 years ago

The comments comparing Western women to other cultures is offensive. I lived in Japan and the reason the women are like that is because the men treat them like shit. Anyway, my husband found a great way to get me to stop nagging. He bought these giant headphones to wear while playing xbox. So now he just doesn't hear me. And I just sigh and do it myself. Lol, it actually is a great thing for us! I needed to stop asking him to get me everything.


julian 6 years ago

"When you feel the nag is about to happen, just go out to the pub,"

Are you kidding? That would create a firestorm in my home and would lead to a tsunami of nagging for 2-3 years. Best way to deal with a nagging wife....become self employed and find work out of town so for at least once per 3 months you are travelling and don't have to deal with the nag monster.


Layla 6 years ago

Okay, I'm assuming these 'tips' above are humor too!!

That's because my Dad has used many of them and it just made the matters worse!!

Then we had to listen to Mom nag even when he was away, and when he came home, cause she was cranky she didn't see him often enough!!

I admit some women may have an attitude problem - then again, an 'attitude problem' may just mean they don't feel appreciated!!

(#5 & #4 may show a caring appreciative attitude so these may be good, especially if you are speaking your wife's 'language of love' - if she likes compliments and you give her compliments etc. If you nag her and bully her and then give her presents she will NOT appreciate it!! - If you use this as avoidance strategy to avoid real talk, not so good!!)

Anyway, wishing you all happy marriages!!

(I'm afraid to get married cause of the way my Mom & Dad carry on - don't need another nag in my life!! /sigh/)


Jeff23 6 years ago

Women love to complain and if you have one that nags you 24/7 then just think of the stuff she is saying about you when you are not around. No wonder the divorce rate is so high in Western countries. You tell one of these women she should respect her husband, and she takes that as a personal insult. You tell her she should take care of her husband, and she thinks you are joking.

They have no understanding of family and main reason is they are selfish. They care more about themselves then they do about their own children.

It's a sorry state for women these days...


The mackem one 6 years ago

My husband sent me this link in response to one I sent him (a caring link to pages to assist him with his drink problem)...He works away, so I think I might have to move house whilst he is gone and accidentally forget to tell him our new address!


waynet profile image

waynet 6 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

Cheers all! nagging wives are a real problem and so we must band together and stop them before it's too late, nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag nag!!!


kleanchap 6 years ago

My Dad was a Cynical Nagger and my wife is a normal Nagger (doubting Thomas type). My wife will second guess every question and answer until you are ready to kill yourself. My father lives far away from me and wife and I are going thru a divorce. There a lot of things nice about her though. I did rather love her from a distance than face the nagging.


Soloman 6 years ago

I am really fedup with daily nagging. I am recently married and don't what happened, after marriage, she is boosted up with more nagging. Take bath thrice a day, do regular exercise, keep everything on place even if sky is coming down those thing should not change their place. Any idea, how to handle this?


Beth 6 years ago

My husband is the nag. It's so draining and I considered divorce but that isn't a real reason to divorce someone. I am starting to hate spending time with him. Everything gives him a reason to nag me to death. The way I drive, my outfits, he gets an attitude if he has to do something that I want to do. He is a brat. I don't know how long we will last. Someone I knew years ago had a mom that nagged her father all the time. It was so annoying. Sadly, her father had a stroke or heart attack. She nagged him to death! I don't want this to be me!


MF 6 years ago

TV is part guilty for this. They have taught them all that behaviour from things like desperate housewives, gilmore girls and stuff like that. In those shows, wives NEVER do house work and the husband, most of the times is a perfect MF.


Breezie 6 years ago

I married an Indian woman and love it!!!


waynet profile image

waynet 6 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

Hahhhhhahhhha Mudderfugger the slappahoe tribe hahahaha good joke!


CMondol 6 years ago

All women are sinner by birth. As Bible say I think ! Women suffer in child birth , bad relationship with her husband and insecurity are the result of God's curse on them. The only way they can over come this punishment by being a good wife by being nice to her husband and her kinds and teaching the goodness to herself and her family.


mudderfugger 6 years ago

when my wife starts nagging i just tell her "you are going to bring out the indian in me" and she says "oh yea what ribe are you from" and i answer "THE SLAPPAHOE TRIBE.


peter 6 years ago

further to my comment my wife is a filipina ,and a friend who was divorced from one ,said he knew of only one successful marriage .and i said whos that ,and he said yours ,little does he know is that if she doesn't get her way ,its i want a divorce .trouble is I own a business and she would get half.


peter  6 years ago

the guy who says filipinas make great wives is dreaming white men married to filipinas have an incredible divorce rate of about 20plus marriages i know of only 2 are not divorced


waynet profile image

waynet 6 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

Yeah... can't you tell I wrote this after being nagged!! lol!


pddm67 profile image

pddm67 6 years ago from Queens, New York

LOL - luv it! So much so that I'm gonna make sure my hubby reads it! Not that any of that would work on me ;-) Especially the laughing in my face - OMG - that would end sooo badly for him if he did that. Rock on!


salt profile image

salt 6 years ago from australia

If men listened the first time, the second time, the third time or even the fourth, women may not become what you term a nag. And, a nag is just a filly that has been married for more than a year.

Or a nice, attractive girl who has somehow got mixed up with a lazy, dominating or deaf male who thinks his way is the only way. Try before you buy and why marry any male? Wife is just woman as chattel..


pankaj 6 years ago

Wives are simply parasites!!


xpydder 6 years ago

I learned a long time ago that Western women have an entitledment attitude. I only had to look at my friends who were married to Western women and I felt sorry for how they allowed theiur wives to completely take control of them. I am married to an Asian and I have to laugh when my very jealous friends try to act as though they are better off than me. My wife doesn't spend money, takes care of the children and knows to leave me alone when I am busy or with friends. She appreciates the fact that I work my butt off for my family and she respects me. The only problem I have with her is that she worries too much and bugs me to death about trivial matters. I don't think it is because she is Asian I think she just has an anxiety problem. By the way, my former american girlfriends think I married this women because I want to feel macho - I married an Asian because I want to half an equal partnership with a wife who appreciates me and who I shower with appreciation. All the men I know who are married to women from less developed/ old fasioned countries are in very happy mariages. My wife is Filipina, she is 35 and has the body and face of a 22 year old. The women I went to high school passed their experation dates long ago. The men that are married to them are not men anymore. But the jealousy is the funniest thing - all these people tried to tell me she was just going to take my money and divorce me because "that is what they all do". Too funny - look at the stats - white men married to Filipina women have very low divorce rates. When you see these couples they are typically very happy because they both feel valued. I met my wife in the US and completely by accident - I may have otherwise married the Black Brit I was seeing. My wife saved me from a nightmare.


gyangroup profile image

gyangroup 6 years ago

Good one :)


FattAndyPDX 6 years ago

Don't forget #10: Buy her a feckin' muzzle and lock up the chocolate!


Ferdy 6 years ago

You guys are so right lol!!! Unknowinly I invented 7 of the 9 steps lol


Joe G 6 years ago

Are you serious man? I went on the internet to get some advice on a nagging wife and your answers are staright out of the caveman's handbook.

Build a shed?

There has to be a way to deal with for real. The answer lies out there hidden beneath some mystical something or other.

Oh, I just went back and read the entire post. I only got to item two before I go bored. Now I read the whole thing and assume you were going for humor.

My wife nagged that out of me a long time ago.


Steve 7 years ago

I live in New Jersey and you should see the mindset of most of the women here. Most of the women won't take care of their kids, home, husband etc. The one's that stay home won't do anything all day but shop and talk on the phone. I am not saying all women, but most think they are some kind of queen. Some friends that have Asian or Mexican wives are very lucky. Their wife's treat them with respect and the couples are very happy. Most girls today are just ball breaking nags and never happy.


Jim 7 years ago

"I don't do dishes", "I don't clean", "I need time for me", these are their catch phrases for being lazy and not wanting to take responsibility for anything.

I agree with the guy that said don't marry a women from the US or any other Western country. These women for the most part are selfish people who always put themselves first, before their kids, and before their husbands.

It's really too bad because their mothers, grandmothers, etc.. were not like this. They understood the importance of keeping a home and raising a good family.

Today the kids come second and husbands come last, but you can't tell them this truth because they can't handle it.


ns 7 years ago

You should all look up and read "No Marriage". The Modern day women wants to have her cake and eat it too. I suggest everyone finds a woman from some foreign country who was brought up with some domestic qualities.

Every woman that I have dated that is USA born has always taken advantage of all that I offer. Mind you, I am not looking for someone who meets me halfway all the time but I do need someone who will meet me a 1/4. I find if you give them an inch they take a yard. Nothing is ever good enough!


waynet profile image

waynet 7 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom Author

That's right, or at least in my relationship with my wife, I cook,clean and see to the kids, all the while trying to set up an internet business full time and the decoration of the house as well as pay the bills and shopping.....but it's not her fault bless her, she just can't be bothered!!


Jack121 7 years ago

The fact is most women don't do as much as men do in the relationship, especially these days. The man usually makes more money, has a better relationship with the kids, and deals with major problems. Women these days think it is an insult to take care of their own kids and to clean their own homes. They feel degraded if they get "stuck" taking care of their own kids, or get "stuck" cleaning their own homes.

It's more then just lazy, its a terrible mind set. They then complain and nag to a normal man as if he is some how not doing his fair share.

They have a terrible sense of entitlement and when it is not met they blame it on the man and nag him to death.

They also talk amongst themselves and the greatest amongst them is the one who treats her husband the worst. The one that bosses him around and gets him to do everything.


jim10 profile image

jim10 7 years ago from ma

My wife tends to nag me whenever I forget to do something. Unfortunately with the more kids we have the better she gets at remembering everything and the worse I get at it. We have 3 boys and it seems pretty consistent that this is the case. I am always happy to help I just honestly do forget. Whenever she does remind me it is like a light bulb turns on and I remember I just put it off to do something else that she nagged at me about first. I much prefer positive reinforcement than nagging though. She would get me to do more with that.

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