How To Understand Women

Nobel Peace Prize

A Woman's Mind

Lets be totally honest here, if I knew the secret formula that made men understand the goings on in a woman's head I would gain overnight fame and fortune, my name would live on as one of the greatest men in history, I would probably even win an award or two including the Nobel Prize for science and the Nobel Peace prize.

I would be a legend in my own lifetime, revered by men everywhere I went.

Alas I am just a married man with a little life experience who has learned to read the signs the hard way, through trial and error, I don't know it all and I never will, what goes on in a woman's head is a mystery to all mankind and it probably will remain that way until the end of time.

Before we can even begin to learn about what makes a woman tick we have to learn a little bit about ourselves, as the biggest mistakes we make about women come from our own perception of ourselves.

5 Mistakes Men Make

Big Mistake (1)

The male of the human species have an inbuilt ego booster that from an early age tells them to believe that every female that they encounter in their lifetime, outside of family. Has the Hot's for them, they are irresistible to women and that they can have any woman that they want at the click of their fingers.

The Truth

Women like men, have differing tastes they, contrary to popular belief, don't chase after anything in pants, they may like your smile, your eyes or even your butt or they may not like a single thing about you.

Big Mistake (2)

Men are bad at reading the signs and it can lead to a lot of confusion when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex, body language is not our strong point and sometimes it causes us to make complete and utter fools of ourselves.

The Truth

Admit it guys we have all been there at some point, a girl has looked at us and we have fallen into the trap, "she wants me" is our first thought and if she actually happens to say hello we automatically think that she wants to jump into bed with us.

The plain truth is that the woman in question has noticed you staring at her for the last ten minutes and has glanced back at you thinking to herself "why is that creep staring at me".

If she does approach you and says hello, it usually means that she might be interested in you but would like to get to know a little bit more about you, it does not mean that she wants to jump into your bed.

Big Mistake (3)

Men often get the wrong idea of what a girl wants because of the way that she dresses.

The truth

A woman is allowed to dress any way she pleases, if she is wearing a skin tight top with a plunging neckline and a short skirt with stockings and high-heeled shoes, It is her choice, it is not an open invitation for us to jump on her bones for a night of lust and passion.

Big Mistake (4)

Men are under the assumption that because you buy a woman flowers and chocolates, take her for a meal and a few drinks that she will sleep with you at the end of the night, they feel that because they have treated the woman to a good night out they deserve a reward at the end of it.

The Truth

Women go on a date to get to know you better, they want to learn more about you and find out what makes you tick, they want to find out if there could be a future with you.

You may get a kiss on the cheek at the end of the date or even a full blown Frenchie, but it will not be until later in the relationship when she is sure that you could be the real deal that you will reap the rewards of your patience.

Remember men the old saying "to assume makes an ASS of U and ME".

Big Mistake (5)

Men like to embellish the truth a little, telling little lies to try to impress the girl, lies like saying that they are the manager where they work when they in reality are only a labourer on the work floor and saying that they earn 3 times more than they actually do.

The Truth

Unless you are only looking for a one night stand, your lies will be caught out as the relationship deepens, honesty is the best policy when considering entering into a full blown relationship, because your lies could come back to haunt you when you lose the best thing that ever happened to you through them.

Respect

The Truth About Women

From learning about ourselves first we can then go on to learn about women, the above are just a few examples of mistakes that we as men make, the list could go on forever but most of the things that we learn about women is from life experience and common sense.

The real truth about women is that they are human beings just like we men are, they love, they hate, they laugh, they cry, they talk, they listen they have feelings, women are not toys or play things to be used and abused, they are our equal in every way, what we as males fail to do is respect women for who they are not what they look like and the most important thing that we men need to get through our heads is that when a woman says no she means No.

When we learn to respect women the world is our oyster.

More by this Author


Comments 53 comments

Marisa Wright profile image

Marisa Wright 8 years ago from Sydney

I think the biggest truth men need to learn about women is that we don't think about sex nearly as often as men do.  You've heard the joke - an expert says "the average man thinks about sex every five minutes" and the guy says, "wow, is that all?"

It may surprise men to know that even highly sexed women can go for several hours without thinking about sex at all!  Knowing that explains our behaviour as well as anything, I think.


jacobworld profile image

jacobworld 8 years ago from Ireland

There is no truth about women . They change everyday.


joanna 8 years ago

its also helpful to think of men as a microwaves...hot and ready in minutes, and think of women as crock pots...hot and ready in hours!! we are not wired like men. we think differently and respond differently. a real man who wants a real woman will realize this and do his best to accommodate!!


sixtyorso profile image

sixtyorso 8 years ago from South Africa

Jimmy I guess you are right men are basic animals and women are far more thinkers and nurturers than we are. Our history taught us to be action men, hunters, sieze the moment, Carpe diem, proliferate the species. Women carefully choose which hunter and father they want even in a one night stand situation. so hats off to the women. You basically make us proud but sometimes we feel a little foolish or even sheepish!

Great Hub Jimmy!


CheryleJ profile image

CheryleJ 8 years ago from NEW JERSEY

I love that you touched on respect. I think that is a huge problem for most couple because one has a very different idea of what they believe respect is. I wish my guy would respect the fact that I'm not like most women and I want more sex than he is willing to give me, which puts us in a bit of a pickle these days!!!:-)


broalexdotinfo profile image

broalexdotinfo 8 years ago from EU

Most women don`t recognise they want more sex, they just go upset when they don`t get enough. CheryleJ !


desert blondie profile image

desert blondie 8 years ago from Palm trees, swimming pools, lots of sand, lots of sunscreen

Funny, informative! But, for the sake of absolute complete accuracy here...these points weren't about understanding women -- complex, intuitive, mysterious creatures that we are -- but more about just understanding how poorly men judge any given situation in which a woman is involved! Even if she's across the room ! BUT, since we're totally worth the effort, good to see you listing five of men's erroneous thinking patterns. LOL :) Your last sentence completely wholly fully true!


New Day profile image

New Day 8 years ago from Western United States

Hey, I think you did a terrific job about saying what women really want! Absolutely top notch. Men, please read and bookmark - don't ask questions or think that you know more. Please. :-) New Day.


glassvisage profile image

glassvisage 8 years ago from Northern California

It's always good to know what's going on in a man's mind. I would consider myself more of a microwave than a crock-pot, so what does that mean? :)


kia4l profile image

kia4l 8 years ago from Portland, Maine

Nice Hub! I like the point about men assuming things about women & jumping to the wrong conclusion. I would like to add though that a lot of my guy friends who are really cute DON'T notice when a girl is blatantly hitting on them! I guess the whole dating world is a tough place to navigate for guys:)


CaseyE 8 years ago

Trust me - Women are as confused as men...Sometimes we don't understand what goes on in our head anymore than men do - we just don't admit it. You can liken it to men asking for directions (rather not asking for them) we don't want to admit we have no idea where the hell we're going ;  ) Kind of hard to navigate the dating world with all the confusion!


Linc2010 profile image

Linc2010 8 years ago from Whiting, IN USA

Great article topic choice! Look at all the comments! Way to go!


sheenarobins profile image

sheenarobins 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

i couldn't have said it any better! very interesting read.


boogie 7 years ago

funny as most of the criticism comes from men and it probes your point :). Nice description and i agree with what u said :)


Eaglekiwi profile image

Eaglekiwi 7 years ago from -Oceania

Great hub humorous and informative ,must read a few more ,thumbs up!


battonjason 7 years ago

There are many misconceptions about what it is that women want. This is mostly do to the fact, that women do not do a very good job of describing what their looking for in a mate. Neither do they provide men with a adaquate depiction of what they require to be happy and fulfilled. After close inspection, one can only hypothasize that this is because they are as clueless regarding these matters as men are. There is a definate and simple explanation for this. Think about it. How often have women been observed getting together with guys who are unlike the types they claim to be attracted to? I can only conclude that this has a lot to do with the fact, that they do not know what they are looking for until they get. This would explain the often very generic descriptions they post in personal adds. For example, they will very often say that they are looking for men who are tall,dark, funny, and smell good etc...The reason for this has much to do with the fact that men to often act like gentelmen. Paradoxically, the very thing that society defines as a good man has kept the world clueless about who women really are. Since men are supposed to treat women like ladies, their dialogue is generally very superficial. This keeps males from ever getting to know females. It is almost as if the world has decided who women are for them. I believe that women subconcously crave something more intimate and genuine.


makeyourwifehot profile image

makeyourwifehot 7 years ago

Great hub!

Here are a few points that I have picked up in my 21 years of marriage.

1. Men have sex to feel loved, women need love to have sex.

2. Women crave security, men crave excitement.

3. When a woman shares, she's sharing...JUST LISTEN, guys!

4. When a man shares, he's looking for a solution.

5. Men are visually stimulated. Women are too, they are just deeper and can sense sincerity, strength, honesty, and charm better than guys can.

Doug


joel 7 years ago

Well, let say this. We, men, are a lot more animal then women are, for quite few raisons; like for century and more, we were hunting animal, we may or may not came back to kiss our wives after a hunt, accident occur, so men have evolve in time thinking more about having a family the faster, to be sure that our name will last in time. We live more for the present moment, because in our animal brain (deep in the our brain, where our survival instinct and automatic reflex like breathing is)we know we can die easily, but women instead were staying home to protect and to take care of their children. So, they knew they are actually in safe place and that they might not have any trouble, or at least, a lot less then the men are going for when hunting. So, this could easily lead us to this explanation of why men wants to have sex in the hours to come, and for the women to wait until they are sure.

To truly understand a human thinking, we have to learn how we were living in the past 100 000 years (this is just the minimal to think about). But nowadays, we have to consider the hundred thousand years of evolution, but we have to think about the way we've evolved in the past 10 years, because just that have change what have takes so long to nature to create. We have a social order, a way to act and to respond versus a stimulus. And we can't act differently without be toss apart of the society. Life has just begun, and we're already playing the hard game.

To finish, just remember this, to truly understand someone of the opposite sex, you have to do 3 things: 1- learning the normal evolution of the society in the past 100 000 years. 2- Your have to know the social order of the current place you're living to understand a bit more the way the opposite sex might be thinking. And finally, you have to know that we are guided a lot more then we think by our animal brain, we might want this woman or this man for sex, but we chose more of the time by our dark side, the search for the beast DNA partner to make the best, strongest, and the cutest child possible to have the more healthy family.


jenga11 profile image

jenga11 7 years ago

The beginning of this comment is for "battonjason" With all due respect, sir, women know exactly what they want. It's imprinted in them at a very young age based on perceptions and feelings they had and felt toward certain individuals who were in their life. You have this, too Mr. Jason. Ever wonder why you're attracted to a certain girl? But to give you an ignorant answer here is what women want. Her Prince.

Resources - Money. Intelligence. Education. Can you provide and take care of her and the family. Do you got the street smarts to boot?

Status - She wants to know people respect you.

Physical Strength - She wants to feel protected. You don't gotta be Arnold, but you better display some physical ability.

Emotionally Caring - She wants to know you care about people and can listen to problems (especially hers)

Obviously as time passes her prince definition expands and is a little more tolerate. But make no mistake about it she sizes you up in every way. Which brings me to another point.

Women are instinctual by nature. They have to be. If they weren't how else would they know what the baby wants? Their sole evolutionary purpose on this earth is to procreate. Now don't get me wrong, women bring much more to the table, but we cannot deny what Mother Nature intended.

I get irritated when guys say they can't understand women. They want to, they just keep trying to logically explain everything. Women are not logical! Just as Joel said above, to know a women you have to know her evolution.

Well, for instance a woman has the child for 9 months. So no wonder why she isn't turned on like a light switch and doesn't want to screw everything that walks. That potential "screw" could lead to an offspring. Hmm.

So you're saying that even if I want to have a one night stand, I still have to get to know her? Put simply, YES!

Guys are just lazy. Period. We want an easy solution and things done our way. When we don't understand, we either give up, force our beliefs or take out the leader.

During this ego maniac, chest-pounding decision, there was a woman somewhere in the picture signaling to the ravage beast the solution. Did he notice? Of course not cause conquering is more important than observing.

Make no mistake about it. Women lead the way, we're just too ignorant and arrogant to notice. Thankfully for us, they like us being men... well, sometimes.


Buns4U profile image

Buns4U 7 years ago

Found this entertaining!


Putz Ballard profile image

Putz Ballard 7 years ago

Seems you've got a handle on understanding women. I think mutal respect and a willingness to help out in the things we men don't usally naturally do goes along way to creating harmony in a marriage.

Robert Ballard


an actual man 7 years ago

This is so obviously written by a woman, still, it is all true but dont make out that a man has written it.


michael1mars profile image

michael1mars 7 years ago

to assume makes an ASS of U and ME thats a nice saying and its true


Cheeky Chick profile image

Cheeky Chick 7 years ago

I'm still laughing at your term, "Full blown Frenchie". That is priceless!

Cheeky


M.clutch 6 years ago

i think to truly understand your woman you must be able to be in touch with feelings that you might normaly try and hide. be honest&open to her about everything, be concerned about how she's feeling.


SoDivine profile image

SoDivine 6 years ago from Florida

This is probably the eternal question, knowing the answer maybe never be solved by men or women.


George J Hardy profile image

George J Hardy 6 years ago from Southern New Jersey

and we all keep looking.... for the answers!


N1cOL3_1988 profile image

N1cOL3_1988 6 years ago from Preston

Men are simple creatures... they eat, drink, look for the next skirt and fight with each other to get the title of the 'cock of town'... a bit primate if you ask me... or maybe there's just something in the water were I live and its just the men in this area and all the men in the rest of the world are all prince charmings.


wrhapsody profile image

wrhapsody 6 years ago from Renton, WA

I really appreciate this post. I think it is all very true and to the point. Women are, in fact, very difficult creatures that need very much reassurance and patience. A woman is naturally faithful and will cling to you if your treat her right, but if you don't she will turn into the devil that lies deep within all women. This devil is designed to have the "momma bear" effect when protecting her children and loved ones, but provoke her and it will turn into your worst nightmare. Women are smart and devious and sly when abused.

As the saying goes, a man is only as good as the woman that stands behind him...

Vice versa, men. Treat her right.


Crazy 6 years ago

It's good to have more than one woman at a time, specially because of the fact that men think about sex more often than women. having more than one waman at a time means if one is not in a mood to have it with us the next would be available.


kitchen!!! 6 years ago

1 thing to know... why arent all you girls in the kitchen?!?!


DNemesis profile image

DNemesis 5 years ago

With that said---ive always had a rule and that is to be brutally honest from the very beginning. This helps me avoid hurting anyone's feelings or mislead anyone i talk to.

Thanks for the hub.


Justice76 5 years ago

When a man takes care of his wife everything else takes care of itself. Enough said!!


Dave 5 years ago

There is no one size fits all approach to women I like to think there are eight kinds of women. Each type has its own needs in a relationship. If a man understands a types needs and is willing to accommodate those needs he can make the woman happy. If the man gets involved with the type of woman his personality is naturally suited to he can be happy with her, even in a long term relationship.

Eight kinds of women (and men) is based on the concept that there are three main personality traits when it comes to people in relationships: Introvert or Extrovert, Romance or Cockyness and Realist or Idealist. All traits can be assessed on a sliding scale. But because of conflicting advice most people will not accept there are as many eight kinds of men and woman, because people find it easier just to lump it all into 'men' and 'women' it causes a lot of confusion.

Stop, wait, you there, think about it. Are people so uncomplicated that they could rightly be assessed into only two simple categories? In my view no; 50% of the types of people are extroverted 50% are introverted, 50% of the types want romance 50% don't, 50% of the types are realists and 50% are idealists then that makes eight possible types total.

By knowing what type I am as a man introverted/not romantic and an idealist the first thing I do when I am looking for a woman is find out if she matches my type if she doesn't I move pretty swiftly on to talk to another. I'm not saying long term relationships cannot work if people are not 100% compatible like this, If one person is or both are willing to make big efforts to adapt to the needs of each other it can work. But in my opinion it does mean less work and more fun with 100% compatibleness in the three areas.

When I started using this method it really opened my eyes to better understanding every type of women so I would wish to nominate 'Vin Di Carlo' the guy who taught me this method for the Nobel Peace Prize, he actually does deserve it.


rommelchinito 5 years ago

Admit it guys we have all been there at some point, a girl has looked at us and we have fallen into the trap, "she wants me" is our first thought and if she actually happens to say hello we automatically think that she wants to jump into bed with us.

The plain truth is that the woman in question has noticed you staring at her for the last ten minutes and has glanced back at you thinking to herself "why is that creep staring at me".

If she does approach you and says hello, it usually means that she might be interested in you but would like to get to know a little bit more about you, it does not mean that she wants to jump into your bed.

LOL I am guilty at this xDD


Floydboy 5 years ago

This was amusing, the comments were just as informative. All this has to do with confidence, insecurity brings questions. Just stop being scary and say what you feel and act on oppurtunity instead of dissecting them when they come.


Mary Stuart profile image

Mary Stuart 4 years ago from Washington

Oh no! You have discovered my secrets. Yep, a nice dinner and drink is not adequate payment for a trip between the sheets. I mean, really! I f a guy thinks he can buy then he will go home none too satisfied. Geez!


Larry Parsley 4 years ago

i heard a stockbroker tell a woman after she was not interest in him he was not su8cessful enough he retorted to her my stocks grow over time while her beauty will fade away over time enough said???


Kealeboga 4 years ago

ITS A GOOD THING WHAT YOU DID SO FAR, FOR ME I NEVER WANTED TO CRACK MY HEAD IN UNDERSTANDING WOMEN.


Veronica 4 years ago

I loved this! Very insightful and informative. Well, speaking about how to please a woman, sometimes a guy can never win! I’m a bit embarrassed about this, but cut me a little slack, this happened 20+ years ago, and I was an emotional, young college girl at the time (an English Lit/Drama major no less). I had been romantically involved with this guy for about six months and it seemed to me that we just couldn’t take things to the next level and it would be in both of our interests to move on. So one day, I decided to have a heart to heart chat with him, going to great lengths to be sensitive to his feelings, and getting a little emotional in the process of saying it was time to end things. His response? Well, very casual, dry (he was an engineering major, go figure;) and hmmm, maybe even a little cheerful. He said with a smile, “yeah, you’re right, it’s probably the best thing.” Well, I was stunned by his lack of disappointment and asked if that was all he had to say. He again replied casually, “yeah, I think that’s about it.” I had invested the past six months of my life with this guy and he didn't seem to be the least bit upset that I was breaking up with him?! That was more than I could take. I stood up from the bench we were sitting on in the heart of the campus quad (imagine a diminutive Asian gal hovering over a large, strapping male), gently lifted his chin (by the look on his face, he may have been expecting a good bye kiss) and then SMACK — he got a hearty slap, right across the face. Of course I walked away in a huff, a complete, emotional wreck. Later on, I talked about it with a few of my sorority sisters and of course got hugged, consoled, etc. Then one of my sisters said something like “so wait a minute….you broke up with him and then slapped him?”. It then occurred to me how ridiculous the scenario was! Laughter ensued along with lots of good-natured teasing from my friends. The story doesn’t end there. A few days later, he sent me flowers and an apology card. I’m not sure if the poor guy even knew what he was apologizing for!


thougtforce profile image

thougtforce 4 years ago from Sweden

I loved this one! I think part of the attraction between men and women is that we are different! I think you have cracked the secret by describing that we shouldn't deceive ourselves by thinking that we know what goes on inside the head of the opposite sex! That is the biggest mistake to do:) Great insights and a wonderful hub! Voted and shared,

Tina


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

This is a great hub and a look into the minds of men. I think that a woman adores her man until she can no longer trust him. When trust ends, love goes with it. You make some great points.


BizGenGirl profile image

BizGenGirl 4 years ago from Seattle

Well, I can say one thing for sure, at least you've admitted to both not fully understanding women, and to seeking that understanding. Sadly, I've had the misfortune of being with some men who just didn't care that much. =/


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma

Awesome hub! I think you spot on, for most women anyway. Now...did you have a little help for the wifey with this? :) If not, you are one in a million! Voted up and useful!


chamilj profile image

chamilj 4 years ago from Sri Lanka

Now I understand mistakes I have done. Really a great hub! Voted up! Thanks for sharing.


Cathleena Beams profile image

Cathleena Beams 4 years ago from Lascassas, Tennessee

Women aren't as complicated as men think. What we want is pretty simple really. Whereas a man desires most to be honored and respected, a woman wants most to be deeply cherished and completely loved. We want the knight in shining armor who slays the dragon to rescue his damsel in distress. That prince who has eyes for no other princess but his one and only true love. We want our fairy tale to last forever, with the happily ever after ending that every little girl dreams about!


Angela Brummer profile image

Angela Brummer 4 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

Awh...I need to write this in reverse! Thanks for helping the sexes understant one another. Such a great hub! Voted up!


billd01603 profile image

billd01603 4 years ago from Worcester

Good Hub. I'm 51 and i have stopped trying to figure women out. (especially my wife)


rahul0324 profile image

rahul0324 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

Awesome!


MelChi profile image

MelChi 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

I'm so glad I came across this hub today, well written and words of truth!


Bob Zermop profile image

Bob Zermop 4 years ago from California, USA

Interesting hub, but it's worth remembering there's no one size fits all approach to women, or to any "group" of people in general. The problem I have with writing that generalizes is that it encourages the misconception that individuals aren't individual. If we don't remember that, stereotypes will develop into damaging things like sexism and racism.

That said, I enjoyed this hub. Voted it up and interesting.


dwachira profile image

dwachira 4 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

While reading this hub, i found myself doing the balancing acts, thanks you shared this. Voted up and i have to share with my followers


jumbotron 2 years ago

When, a woman says 'yes,' she, really, means 'no.' and, when, a woman says 'no,' she, really, means, 'yes!'

Women, please, explain!

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