How To Be a Better Spouse

Gotta Love it When Daddy Takes Them Fishing for the Weekend!

Daddy and his girls!
Daddy and his girls!

Seeing My Husband From a Different Perspective

One night, as I was teaching my oldest daughter how to wash dishes, we got to talking. Papa was doing some paperwork and Cidnée and I were doing the supper dishes. Nonchanlantly she asked me:

'Mom, why do you do dishes every night?'

I told her it was because it was part of my job as a wife and a mommy. She then asked me what other things I did (besides make meals she wasn't particularly fond of.) After laughing really hard at that, I stated most of the chores I took care of around the house; cooking, laundry, cleaning, shopping, etc. After thinking a little, Cidnée innocently asked:

'Is that fair mom?' Not really understanding, I asked what she meant.

'Well, what does papa do?' she clarified.

Glancing in my husbands direction, I saw that he hadn't heard. So taking a moment to think of how to best answer the question, I had a little relevation.

'Well Cidnée, its pretty warm in here isnt it?' I asked her.
'Yeah, really hot!' she responded.
'Thats all papa. Every day, he wakes up at 5:30 to make a fire for us. He goes outside in the freezing cold to get wood that he corded himself last spring and then makes a fire. And when it snows, Papa wakes up even earlier to shovel the snow so that we can get out of the driveway in the morning. And you know those really cool slides you have outside? Papa spent hours out there shoveling snow to make those for you.'

By now, I have Cidnée's full attention and I can see her really thinking. I'm also pretty sure Papa has started to listen in as well.

'Even the skating rink that didn't really work out was a lot of work for Papa, but he did it all in the freezing cold just for you. And when things break, he fixes them. When something goes bump in the night, who do u think checks it out? Papa. And when mommy wakes up in the middle of the night because a mouse got in the house and she's freaking out, Papa tries to catch it for her even though he isn't as bothered by it and has to wake up for work 2 hours later. Papa takes care of the garbage, he builds little houses for you and Dani to play in, he renovates our bathroom and basement and builds fences to make sure you don't hurt yourself. Papa does many things that I don't do and definitley things that I wouldn'T want to do.'

'That's a lot eh Mom?' Cidnée asks.

'Yeah, it is!' I answer.

'It's not really fair that Papa has to do all that is it mom?'

Now, I'm really laughing because all of a sudden, Cidnée is feeling completely different about things.

'Well Cidnée, we all have our jobs to do right? That's how it goes.'

Anyways, this little conversation with Cidnée threw some light on the fact that I don't always acknowledge the huge contribution my husband makes to this family but am always wishing to be acknowledged for my own.

It showed me that as a wife and mother, I do work hard and the work I do in the home does go unnoticed a lot of the time, but it goes both ways. But whats more, and more than a little humbling, is that I never hear a complaint from my husbands mouth.

I just felt that I needed to take a lesson from that and learn to appreciate what others do rather than always wanting to be appreciated for what I do. And all this from one simple conversation with a 6 year old!

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Comments 1 comment

mom/dad 7 years ago

Hey sweety: This is my night to catch up on all your writing. I'vebeen wanting to do this for a long time and finally sat down to it. I love this particular piece because it is so true. This major divide between men and women and appreciation of one another is certainly a necessary subject to broach although a brave one because of the controversy between the sexes nowadays. I like the maturity that you are displaying. (Of course, I am your mom). We would all be so much happier if we could look beyond our own needs and recognize the sacrifice of the other. Good stuff. Made me think. We need to do that sometimes. Dad has been trying to get me onto this computer for ages and is always patient with me when he's helping me with it. He spent the day putting almost 1000 pictures on a 15-inch digital photo frame for MY mom and dad. When he finished cropping and lightening them, he went to transfer them onto the photo frame and they went on in the original state. He had to start all over cropping, lightening, etc., using another program and tomorrow he will put them on the photo frame. Thank God for dad. I'd have been depressed for days and I wouldn't have touched it again for two months if ever again. Love you, hon - Mom

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