A Quickie Guide for Men and the Lingerie Department

 

Valentine's Day has come and gone and I wonder how many men out there succeeded in their gift giving attempt. Did they get that "Come Hither" look on that romantic night or get thrown to the couch. I hope most women were like me, a bit forgiving. But then I do have the experience, almost 5 years, of watching these poor but well-meaning souls wonder with bewilderment through the tangled forest of the Lingerie Department.

This past Valentine's proved no different. Last minute shoppers grabbing the first thing off the rack. It wasn't a pretty sight. Most of the sexier items are always in the back. I work in a family style department store so we don't display too much along the walkway. So of course men never see these. They wouldn't dare delve too far into the forest of bras and panties. They walk along the carpeted border: back and forth, back and forth contemplating their moves, strike and retreat.

The looks I find on men are a cross between utter terror (wide eyed, pupils dilated, glistened forehead) or annoyance (they grab the first item and run to the register) and believe me the fluffy robe is not the ticket. My husband calls that the "NO" robe. "No honey, not tonight".

Men, here is a bit of advice. When shopping for your loved one go straight for a sales clerk. We won't laugh or point. What we will do is call security if you walk around for an hour fingering the items. But seriously, I work with five other women and we are so itching to help. Because ultimately we are helping the ladies in you heart. We will guide you through the various options: panties, bras, teddies, nightgown sets. And when we ask "does she have my build" don't just look at our chest, there are other parts.

If you are still too shy, keep in mind women want to come out of the bathroom with confidence. There may be areas (on our body) we want to hide. Remember the girls in those magazines you have hidden under the mattress are airbrushed. The skimpier the better for YOU, but not for US. So, if you want us to wear it more than once and not find it stuffed in a drawer, be kind and put some thought into it.

Go for an item that stops at the hip with a matching panty and robe(light and lacy not the"No" robe. Most teddies will be a complete set. Bras and panties are nice but keep in mind women are sticklers for MATCHING sets. I would still throw in a lacy robe to to compliment the set.

If she is fuller figure go to that section. ASK WHERE IT IS. Don't worry that she will take offense at the size because when she shows off her gift with confidence she will forgive and you will make her soon forget. Don't cut the tag out to hide the size as one of my friend's husband did. She thought it came from the Goodwill.

If you do want to go for that sexy inch worth of fabric buy it ALONG with your other more conservative purchase. She'll be more willing to try it.

So don't fret we sales clerks are here for you. Personally I would rather deal with your insecurities than a ranting and fuming woman returning a pathetic attempt of a gift, oh yes that has happeded.

If it makes you feel better some of us women are still confused about items you take for granted as an easy purchase: Briefs or Boxers: What is the difference?

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