A Warm Eulogy To 70's Pick-Up Lines

Watch me move, ladies. I got a gift of natural grace.
Watch me move, ladies. I got a gift of natural grace.
I could have starred on Saturday Night Fever, but I let my close, personal friend, John Travolta go first.
I could have starred on Saturday Night Fever, but I let my close, personal friend, John Travolta go first.
Heyy, I get my hair styled at Vinnie's Place in the back.
Heyy, I get my hair styled at Vinnie's Place in the back.
Anyone want to dance? I don't charge for lessons.
Anyone want to dance? I don't charge for lessons.
Gotcha! This is the Love Marshall taking you in for some close, personal questioning.
Gotcha! This is the Love Marshall taking you in for some close, personal questioning.
This suit only cost me $100.00...I got a guy in Brooklyn who owes me a favor. Now come on, girls, let's do some boogeying.
This suit only cost me $100.00...I got a guy in Brooklyn who owes me a favor. Now come on, girls, let's do some boogeying.
Ladies, watch and learn how I do the Electric Slide. Am I smooth or what?
Ladies, watch and learn how I do the Electric Slide. Am I smooth or what?
Hey, ladies. I am personal friends with John Travaolta. Hurry, girls. Get home.
Hey, ladies. I am personal friends with John Travaolta. Hurry, girls. Get home.
Remember when short guys wore these shoes that are called Platform Shoes, to give them extra height when talking to girls.
Remember when short guys wore these shoes that are called Platform Shoes, to give them extra height when talking to girls.
Yeah, there is is. Mr. Perfect. Perfect gelled hair. Perfect dental-designed teeth. Ready for action. So long, to the Mr. Perfect's who gave dating a bad name in the 70s.
Yeah, there is is. Mr. Perfect. Perfect gelled hair. Perfect dental-designed teeth. Ready for action. So long, to the Mr. Perfect's who gave dating a bad name in the 70s.
This girl has already spotted a man trying every known pick-up line available to get her to dance with him.
This girl has already spotted a man trying every known pick-up line available to get her to dance with him.
"Heyyy, ladies. Bet you'd love for me to ask you 'foxes' back to my place, huh?" Recall this awful scene in disco's of the 70s?
"Heyyy, ladies. Bet you'd love for me to ask you 'foxes' back to my place, huh?" Recall this awful scene in disco's of the 70s?

"Listen, you jerk! I don't want to see you again--EVER! Understand?"

is what most guys in the mid to late 1970s heard after they had "scored" a date with a beautiful lady and had a great evening together. But the next morning, the beautiful young lady suddenly realized that she was among many girls that this "smooth operator" had lured back into his bachelor pad to, as he said with a deceiving grin, "take a look at my expensive paintings," which were as fake as the hair on his chest. This story is "A Warm Eulogy To 70's Pick-Up Lines" that I am hoping will ease the hurt feelings of those ladies who are still suffering humiliation today in 2011 from being convinced that the guy she met at the bar on a cold Friday night was a legitimate man with a heart. And this story is also a fond farewell to those awful pick-up lines that used to work on women, that was until the women got wise. Thank God.

There was just something unique about the 70's, right? The atmosphere was light. Easy. Care-free. Love was in the air most all the time. In bars. Cars. Clubs. Everywhere you looked, guys and gals were 'getting together' (prototype line of hooking up) to have a great night of dancing, partying in the town's most posh clubs, Studio 54, New York, to name one, and wake up the next day, happy, uncommitted, and free. This applies to the guys who suckered their way into a date with an unassuming, gullible, girl who was just lonely for a moment, and when "jerko," in his new leisure suit bopped into her view, her heart and mind both agreed that he was her date for that night. But she was not going to be hard-to-get. No. She wanted "jerko" to use every romantic line on her in his arsenal. And he did.

I have to really be honest. I give the guys, both sincere and insincere, the "pick-up artists," of the 70's a lot of credit. These guys went into the "battle of the sexes," wide-open. They all took great advantage of the loose moral atmosphere that mostly boasted as its charter, "if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with," and the non-committal ideology of this era and actually dated scores of women. And women, by the sake token, I give them full credit also, for being so trusting that (in small, isolated) cases, some girls actually found their true love and now in 2011, this couple I am talking about are grandparents, almost-ready to retire and their eyes always light up when they hear "Stayin' Alive," on their favorite oldies station.

To the guys who loved to pick up girls, whether it was in a bar, restaurant, or the lobby of a big airline, it was more than just the pick-up line (that I will address shortly), it was "the look" that said, "I am a 70's man. I'm suave, cool, in shape, popular, laid-back and ready for love." That look, and you will remember well, was one big gold chain or a lot of small (fake) gold chains around the man's neck, open-front tricot shirts, leisure suits with collars over the shirt collar, white belts, platform shoes and sometimes sunglasses after dark. (no offense to Corey Hart).

The guys had their game plans down P.A.T. They would either take on an entire single's bar, or just split up and go solo and see who "scored the most" with the most girls. A guy might slowly walk into the establishment of his choosing and while walking slowly his eyes were like the red radar light--going back and forth on Knight Rider's K.I.T.T. until he spotted "the" girl of his choice. He would adjust his gelled-back hair, (on his head), make sure that his chest was showing, then casually, with the grace of a serpent, slither up to where the girl was sitting, minding her own business, at the bar and say something like, "Hey, foxy lady. Buy you a drink?" Then before she could answer, he would wink, grin, and act cold. The sure signs the was a swinger. Knew the score. A ladies man all the way. Sometimes his act worked. Sometimes not. Mostly not. And I don't think it was all because of the wardrobe, shoes, (fake) gold chains, but the awkward, forward, insensitive pick-up lines he and his kind used--thinking that ALL females love to hear ignorant, senseless things said to them to get them, (the girls) to melt like I Can't Believe It's Not Butter into the sly guy's arms.

We are going to address the ignorant, senseless pick-up lines right now. And while we address these soon-to-be-gone-forever pick-up lines, you may want to write these lines down for they might prove to be of historical value one day, or print this story on your printer to take with you to the Smithsonian Institute in Washington, D.C. one day when the pick-up lines I am going to talk about, will be enshrined as national relics of a time gone by.

"Hey, babe, buy you a drink?"

I have already used this one above. But this line is probably the most-used, not popular, of all pick-up lines. It plays on the sudden confidence sensed by the female of the unassuming male and her dry throat mixed with her taste for liquor or wine. Many times, and possibly out of sheer curiosity, many girls let a "silver-tongue devil" buy her numerous drinks and didn't go to his place at closing time. Some girls knew how to get free drinks.

"You come here often?"

Get real! What dope would use this line on a girl. Anywhere? Anytime? The odds of a girl falling for this would be about 2 in 500,000. Unless he girl was suffering from a bad case of loneliness, this line made absolutely no sense. If the slick-talking guy had said, "I sell cars for a living," at least that would have sounded sensible.

"Hey, foxy lady! What's going on?"

Foxy lady? Only in the late Jimi Hendrix' hot song. Not in a bar or anywhere pretty girls mingle. To imply that a girl is a fox, mind tend to get a girl's mind to freely-associating and putting a fox into the category of a fox hunt where dogs are used so the guy is actually going the long way around and calling her a dog. What's going on? More like what's NOT going on with the forward guy and quick-minded girl.

"What's your sign?"

This one is my all-time favorite of all pick-up lines. In the 70's, astrology was a big thing. People actually believed that their lives were guided by the stars in the heavens and the guys capitalized on it. This line was used by men who studied the compatibility of each astrological sign. And when the girl said, "Aries," his mind would instantly calculate whatever sign was compatible with her and the conquest was on. It wasn't until the early 80's when the fad of astrology-watching went south and girls became wiser and men became more lonely at not having a fad as a crutch to talk to girls.

"What are you into?"

I almost choke when I used to hear this one in my dating days. My buddies would love to try to impress the girls by swaggering up to the girl's car and slowly take a puff of a cigarette, and say, "Hey, what are you into?" Then the girl would try to look serious, then burst into laughter for all this time the guy's fly was open and she would be heard laughing like a hyena as she drove off leaving my embarrassed buddy looking like a fool.

"Hey, babe, what's a nice chick like you, doing in a place like this?"

this was on the edge of being "out" when guys in the 70's tried to give new life to this overused line. First the line implies that the girl is a nice girl and she shouldn't be in a place like she is in when the approaching guy finds her. But to the guy's chagrin, the young lady is sitting in a church pew awaiting the morning sermon by her minister. Some guys (not me) would even try to get girls in church. Talk about desperate. Most of my buddies were desperate.

"Couldn't help but notice, your eyes are beautiful way across the room."

Okay. This is not that bad. At least the "pick-up artist" complimented the girl's eyes, but how did he see her eyes in a dim-lit bar? Could it be that Superman was out on the town without Lois Lane on a certain night? This line was known to have worked. Not for me as I was never invited by my older buddies to go into a bar to look for girls.

"Chick," "Babe," "Sweet thang," names girls literally hated.

in the 70's and even in 2011. Chicks are cute when they are baby chickens or anything of the fowl line--eaglets, crows, and prairie chickens. And "babe," get real. Babe was a piglet in his own movie. No self-respecting guy in the 70's or in today's society, would be dumb enough to call a girl a chick, babe or get this one, "Sweet thang," used by Jerry Lee Lewis on most of his songs and The Big Bopper on his one hit, "Chantilly Lace." Guys in the late 50's and 70's thought that if Jerry Lee and Bopper were successful for making girls wild by saying this slang term, then they could score dates by saying "sweet thang" to available girls. You will notice that "sweet thang" skipped the 60's era. In the 60's girls were referred to as "old lady," "main squeeze," and "mama," by swinging guys of this time frame. Most guys in the sixties who did say these terms found themselves divorced. Lonely. And living in dark alleyways in Chicago.

"Want to go back to my place?"

and see my collection of expensive paintings? Now this line, folks, showed an extra-amount of self-confidence by the man using it to impress a girl. He wanted the girl to think that he was a man of culture. Taste. Popularity. And it worked for what few men took the time to shop in antique stores and actually buy expensive-LOOKING paintings that would fool most girls. The other guys who used this line would foolishly think that if he bought the girl he was talking to, more and more drinks, she would forget to ask about his expensive paintings upon her arrival at his apartment. Or "pad," as the swinging guys of the 70's called their homes. A real Jethro Bodine type of guy. And line.

Other pick-up lines that flopped in the 70's:

  • I am a member of the C.I.A. in this bar looking for information
  • I am a retired NFL star who was injured in last year's Super Bowl
  • I'm a scientist working on the cure for a major disease
  • I'm Billy Joel's first-cousin
  • I'm John Travolta's third-cousin
  • Ever heard of Johnny Carson? I work for him on the Tonight Show
  • Johnny Carson, my boss, said I could get you a ticket for free
  • I can't tell you too much about myself, N.A.S.A. would have me sent to Europe
  • I wrote Hey, Jude for my buddies, John and Paul
  • I was a stunt-double for John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever

So with that, our dear, over-used, worn-out, pick-up lines of the 70's, we said a fond farewell. The memories you gave (some) of us, will be long-lasting. And fondly forgotten. You served your purpose. And we managed to live down all he humiliation you caused us with girls who knew that we were not related to anyone in K.C. and The Sunshine Band.

So long. Have yourself a long, long, rest.



(Girls Only) What Was The Worst Pick-Up Line Used On You?

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Comments 25 comments

Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Yikes! hahaha!!


Jean Bakula profile image

Jean Bakula 5 years ago from New Jersey

Ken, you are responsible for so many smiles on here! I met my husband in a bar, on a girl's night out. I was seeing someone else, but he was sitting to my left, the girls to my right at the bar. Line, "May I buy you a drink?" Normally I'm nicer, but in this situation I said, "Can't you do any better than that?" So we progressed with the drinks, and as I looked around, I realized I had some of his friends in classes at HS. We began talking, and my GF's were telegraphing messages with their eyes that they thought he looked good. Now that I felt sure he wasn't an axe murderer or anything, and began to get comfortable, he said, "I'd buy you another drink, but I don't have any more money." God, I thought, another loser, at least I have a job. So I bought a few rounds of drinks. I wasn't sure if he would even remember me, but he did, and called the next day. We've been together ever since. Sometimes I still question if I love him that much, or made a terrible error in judgement, lol. And I still feel guilty I was so mean when he offered the first drink, because he's actually very shy, and respectful to women.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Nellieanna...THANK YOU very much for your comment. I had just finished this and about to take some meds, and I heard my inner voice say Nellieanna has just commented on your story. Glad I listened. Sincerely, Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Jean! Where have you been? Missing you and your lively remarks. Thank you for the sweet compliments and I just say Give the praise to God, who engineers these ideas. I am just a typist. But the 70s were NOT my time to get girls at all...I recall being stood up by a girl, duhhh, she was from out of town and I drove her car one Sat. evening...nice Monte Carlo...she was single and I was too. I even bought her gas. We were to meet the next Sunday...I waited for 4 hours. Finally got the hint. OH well, hey, that might be a good personal hub...for all the guys who have been stood up...what do you think, Jean! Thank you for the comment. I appreciate it. Kenneth


Jean Bakula profile image

Jean Bakula 5 years ago from New Jersey

I say go for it, write another hub, though I see you've been really busy. I am in the process of self publishing a tarot book, and it's keeping me busy. The publisher is ready for preorders, I've actually held the book in my hands, and like it, but it's poetry and I'm not sure how it will do. Anyway, when I got to know my husband better way back in the 70's, he told me that guys felt bad about nasty stuff women did too. It opened my eyes, because maybe it was sexist, it always seemed like guys used girls, but it works both ways. He's a sweet man, like you. I remember those platform shoes too. I wonder how I walked in them? Hope you are feeling a little better.


KathyH profile image

KathyH 5 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

This sure brought back a memory of the late 1990s when some friends and I had gone on a "road trip" to see Alan Jackson. We were in the lobby of a hotel in Atlantic City, NJ ~ most of us were already married, but a couple of the gals were single. A guy came up to us and claimed to be the "3rd richest guy in America"! We still laugh about it! :) Great hub!!


Sueswan 5 years ago

Hi Kenneth,

Very funny, my friend.

I don't remember any memorable pick up lines guys used on me. Actually, not too many tried to pick me up.

I had two friends. Well one was a friend and the other was my friend's friend. Well my friend was a nice girl but she was far from pretty and I'm not saying that to be mean. Here friend was blonde and quite fat. She always had her boobs hanging out so of course she got all the attention.

By the way, I am an Aries. :-)

Voted up and awesome.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, Jean, THANK YOU, my friend, for the warm comment and compliment. As I speak, I have already collected my artwork for the "stand up, or stood up" hub. An in-depth look at that subject and how it affects us guys. Thanks for the idea and I am, at the start, giving YOU the credit for the idea. I want to do that because I strive to not be selfish. Thanks, Jean! Sincerely, Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, KathyH! LOL, 3rd richest? See? He toned it down to make it believable. Was his name Bill Gates by any chance? You know that I was the one who taught Gates all he knows about PCs....just kidding. I am so out of practice with lines, that I am pathetic. Thank you, Kathy, for the sweet comment. I do appreciate YOU and my followers. Very much. Kenneth and P.S. Bill says hi.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Dear Sueswan, THANKS SO MUCH FOR THIS COMMENT. I appreciate the humorous story about the blond very much, but I find it hard to believe that YOU didn't get that many pick-up lines. I appreciate YOU and your friendship and support. Peace to you. Sincerely, Kenneth


jenubouka 5 years ago

I think I would of preferred the pick up lines here in the 70's versus now, they got all that gadget crap to aid them in the natural way to hit on a women. It takes a man to hit on a woman face to face...now you can send a wink to let a girl know "hey I like you but too much of a wuss to say it and I fear rejection so much I rely on technology to save some face...


Jean Bakula profile image

Jean Bakula 5 years ago from New Jersey

Hi Kenneth,

That is really sweet, you don't have to give me credit for one of your hubs, we all struggle for ideas. But before I was close enough to my husband (then BF) I didn't realize women were doing the same things to guys. It was the height of the Feminist movement back then, so perspective was not quite right. I know you'll do a great job on it. And we women have to be respectul too...


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, jenubouka, YOU ARE SO RIGHT. Today it takes a man with a master's degree in technology to just say hey, girl, I love your hair! Or something like that. And If they had just had the smiley things and PCs when I was in my dating prime....wow, I wouldn't be here in Alabama. I promise you that. Thanks for your honest and sweet comment :) that is a makeshfit smile I am giving you. Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Jean Bakula, HI and Thanks so MUCH for the comment. But too late. In my latest effort, "Dealing With The Pain Of Being Stood-Up," Your name is at the beginning of the story. Fair is fair, my good writer friend. And I work at NOT being hoggish in writing and life. I value YOUR friendship and support, Jean. Peace and keep in touch. Kenneth And for you, a line that I would have LOVED to use, "Hey, sweetie! Are you a miracle worker? My eyes just opened to see what a Gorgeous person you really are!" Would that have worked????


Jean Bakula profile image

Jean Bakula 5 years ago from New Jersey

You silly, I have tears in my eyes because you are being so sweet! I love the pictures you chose for this pair of hubs. I forgot how awful the clothes were in the 70's, and you portrayed that awful feeling that somebody could actually do something so rotten to another person. Maybe Shelly married somebody with warts, or has been divorced three times, lol.


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

When I was much younger, I was a cocktail waitress who graduated to bartending and "cursed" with hair down to my waist and legs that "went on forever". So I heard **every** pickup line in use, and had comebacks (read that "put downs") for all of them but one.

Two nights after vowing to my Best Guy Friend to stop dating all together until someone came up with an original line, IT happened, and BGF was there. Nearly fell off his bar stool laughing watching it transpire. The Sound Manger for that week's band came up to the bar where I was enjoying a rare lull in drink making. He was so "non-threatening" I didn't even notice him at first. Just stood there. When I finally asked, reaching for a glass, "What can I get you you?", he said with just the hint of a smile that brought out his one dimple, "Nothing - I just came over to make a pass at you".

That, Friends, from one who's heard them all, is THE A#1 Best Pickup Line Ever. The direct, honest approach. Worked too. And now you know how I met the Love of My Life. ;D


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Jama I have to AGREE with you. That IS the BEST line of all. Darn. Wish I had known this in my dating days. Thanks for the sweet and uplifting comment, Jama. I have missed you lately. Guess you are very busy. Oh yeah, I did have one line, not for picking up girls, but I was madly in love with this ONE Girl in 1966, yes, we even had clothes, not animal skins in this day and time, LOL, and I never told her this until 1999. And I told her THIS confession, "All you (talking about the girl) had to do to get my heart to racing, was breathe," and she loved it. We are closer now than we used to be. Thanks again for your comment and why don't YOU, not telling you what to do, write a hub about THE BEST PICK-UP LINES YOU have ever heard...that would be dynamite! Thanks and keepin touch, Jama. Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, my Dear Friend, Jean, and THANK YOU for the sweet comment and compliment. That makes me very happy. Who knows about Shelly. Maybe she became a follower (not on hubs) but of a motorcycle gang that roamed the desserts of America in search of utopia, that being rivers of Budweiser and acres of pork rinds that grow on bushes. What a place for Shelly to live. Thanks, Jean for your kindnesses. I shall NOT forget YOU.


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

Kenneth, I couldn't get an entire hub out of the pick up lines I heard because I made it a point to forget most of them. But I DO remember the first time I came up with a put down, and the Super Jock's buddies laughed themselves silly. He was a regular, a braggart, who constantly hit on me, and until that time I'd just walk away in a huff. But that night as I was putting their drinks on the table, he looked me in the eye and said "Jama, what you need is a man". Don't know where it came from, but I looked HIM in the eye right back and said "Do you know any, Craig?" and walked off. Never had a problem with popping off comebacks after that!

And yes, I *have* been busy - re-arranging the furniture in my little abode. ;D


Jean Bakula profile image

Jean Bakula 5 years ago from New Jersey

Or maybe Shelly weighs 300 pounds now and has gray hair she wears in a Medusa style. She just growls at men....


mega1 profile image

mega1 5 years ago

Would you and your girlfriend like to come for a ride in my limo? was a great one! I wonder if I hadn't turned down that ride? where would I be today?


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Jama, LOL, let me honesty share with you, "That comeback WAS THE sharpest, wittiest LINE I HAVE EVER HEARD. From anyone--male or female!" LOL. I am so glad that I wasn't Craig! And, with your permission, I want to admire you for the rest of my life for putting that braggart in his place. To stay. Good for you. And to prove that I can be politically-correct, "You Go Person!" Sincerely, Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Jean, LOL, at your comment too! Or maybe Shelly is a professional hog-caller in the midwest and the pigs all get jealous of how much she weighs and sounds a bit too much like them. That was a ripping-great laugh, Jean. I needed that very MUCH. Thank YOU, DEAR friend and Wonderful Hub Writer. (Not a line eiher) Kenneth


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

Kenneth, the "rest of the story" about Craig: after I became the head bartender and manager of that bar, I hired his wife as one of my waitresses and she gave me a "high five" for putting Hubby in his place! The old story of she "knew he was a cad when she married him but loved him anyway". Takes all kinds, right? ;D


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Right as rain, JamaGenee! And I am still laughing about how you handed Craig, uh, his, uh ego, that with that line. You are a woman to be respected. If not, then the careless, uncaring man should be warned. Right? Yes, it takes all kinds. I thank you for sharing and commenting on my things. You make my days a bit brighter. Sincerely, Kenneth

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