A Wife Through The Mail

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Ordering a wife through the mail has become as common in today's society as ordering any other merchandise. You browse, you look, you select, you meet, you pay and you take the prize home. And what is exactly a mail order bride? Perhaps this definition may help:

"Mail-order bride is a label applied to a woman who publishes her intent to marry someone from another, usually more financially developed, country" Wikipedia

This is not a new or recent sociological or economic development. Mail order brides have been around since at least the 18th century.

"Historically, mail-order brides were women who listed themselves in catalogs and were selected by men for marriage. Sometimes the men and women involved were citizens of different countries, e.g. women from European countries moving to the United States during the 18th and 19th centuries, and sometimes they involved citizens of the same country" Wikipedia

Actually it's a bit more complicated than that but that is mostly how it works. To this day there are plenty of men that still believe that any of the brides enters into a marriage with them because they are in love. The men who do choose to believe that are either very naive or plain dumb.

I am not suggesting that this is wrong, immoral or anything to that sort. I am only pointing out that many of these arrangement have many barriers from their start and not everyone involved has the right intentions which is to seek true love and a good match.

One should first and foremost understand that the probability is quite high that this goes on today is mostly from an economic stand point.

These women will involve themselves with a marriage broker due to several reasons, mostly because they want to escape their current environment, poverty, abuse or a multitude of other reasons.

They really cannot be blamed for choosing this way as a manner of bettering themselves, this seems to be a natural part of being a human; seeking a way to improve their condition and often to also help their families back home.

Do not make the mistake of thinking that these mail order brides come from only the poorest of countries, there are mail orders brides from almost every country in Eastern Europe and most of South America as well as Asia, even from countries that one would not even consider.

One of the better known countries where this is regularly taking place is Russia with Colombia, Mexico, China, The Philippines and the Dominican Republic following close behind, but again, this is common in many other countries.

The laws are quite lax when it comes to meeting someone from a different nationality and marring them and consequently bringing that individual to the USA.

Some of the formalities are to petition immigration for a fiance's visa, then after your fiance arrives in the USA you have to get married within a certain period, usually 90 days. The cost for all of this, including the broker's fee can run anyone about $10,000 dollars.

For some it may seem to be worth it, since in the majority of cases the bride has to remain in the US and continue to be lawfully married for about 5 years before applying for US citizenship. However, for the bride to be granted legal US status the period of wait is much more shorter, usually about a year often less.

A lot can happen in a year and much more in five. Plenty of these marriages usually end up with the couple actually developing feelings for each other and genuinely becoming an "in love" couple. Plus often children are born, relationships are formed, and other factors besides feelings just plain make the couple stick together.

There are also many obstacles that will test the relationship from the very beginning; difference in customs, religions and not to mention the language barrier. Many see these as real barriers yet it can also lead to a better and stronger bond as the groom and the bride begin to discover each other.

This would be the ideal situation for both the man and the woman. However the end result of many of these marriages is that they often end up with the wife filing for a divorce after she becomes a legal resident or becomes a US citizen.

Like a regular US marriage, anything that the couple obtained while they were married gets divided by the courts and rules that apply to children of a marriage also apply.

This is not to discourage anyone from seeking true love in a foreign land, but you should do so with the mind set that more than likely "love" is not the main underlying reason. If you accept this and nevertheless decide to play the game, then at least you cannot be repentant afterward if things do not pan out as you planned it.

Don't be disappointed if the turn out does not appear at first to go according to plan, you should have a good year to five to work things out and plenty of opportunities to woo your lady and make her see why you are really the true one.

Who knows, on the other hand at the end of the day you just may end up finding your one true love even if you got it through the mail.

And ladies, before you start thinking that guys have all the fun, there's even a Mail Order Grooms service too!

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Do you think that these types of relationships can actually work?

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© 2011 Luis E Gonzalez

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Comments 30 comments

Ddraigcoch profile image

Ddraigcoch 5 years ago from UK

A well covered hub. Also a good point would be to make are that the brides they receive are not always what they ordered. Other times it is a con to get money, and no one comes at all!


chamilj profile image

chamilj 5 years ago from Sri Lanka

Interesting topic. Thanks for the information.


KettiS 5 years ago

Why Would you want a wife threw the mail? All that is, is your little puppet


LuisEGonzalez profile image

LuisEGonzalez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida Author

Ddraigcoch: Good point and thanks


LuisEGonzalez profile image

LuisEGonzalez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida Author

chamilj:Thank you


LuisEGonzalez profile image

LuisEGonzalez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida Author

KettiS: I wouldn't but there are plenty of men who would


justom profile image

justom 5 years ago from 41042

Hi Luis, I ordered one but the mailman said my mailbox wasn't big enough so they sent her back :-(. How's it going? I'm sure I've missed a lot on HP. I'm still trying to get back to reality from vacation! Tom


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

This is different Luis. I hope you ain't considering the mail bride thing.....lol

Very good information, I have always been curious about it. These girls are usually beautiful. I wonder why they would offer themselves in this way.


marellen 5 years ago

I watch a series on this subject and its consequences. The bride to be were from Russia and the males from the US....the guys were usually more nerdy and in love immediately whereas, the women were not. I think they just wanted out of their country and into the US. You can't blame some of them. Interesting topic.


Admiral_Joraxx profile image

Admiral_Joraxx 5 years ago from Philippines

It really doesn't matter how people come to meet their partners. But at least they must have to be in love and be willing to commit with each other. For the sake of the children they may be blessed with. If there is something I doubt about this "Mail Order Bride" stuff, its not the means, but the intentions that comes within. Great hub! very well written, Voted up and useful!


SEXYLADYDEE profile image

SEXYLADYDEE 5 years ago from Upstate NY

How do you ever know if she really cares about you? Isn't that what love and marriage are truly all about? Dee


LuisEGonzalez profile image

LuisEGonzalez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida Author

justom: Glad you're back...mine wouldn't fit either..I guess I have to get a much bigger mail box.


LuisEGonzalez profile image

LuisEGonzalez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida Author

Cardisa: This occurred when I met a friend and was introduced to his new wife..that he ordered through the mail...unfortunately I didn't have the b..lls to tell him what I thought or how she appeared to be flirting with me. As for me I like to see them first in person..and to be touchable..and.... let me stop before I guess banned.


LuisEGonzalez profile image

LuisEGonzalez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida Author

marellen: thank you and it's true that most of them men go with a different mentality as that of the ladies


LuisEGonzalez profile image

LuisEGonzalez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida Author

AJ; Thank you, yes they take a gamble that sometimes pays off and true love blossoms, but this seems to be the minority of cases


LuisEGonzalez profile image

LuisEGonzalez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida Author

SexyLadyDee: True but marriages like this need to be approached with a certain degree of skepticism


Magdelene profile image

Magdelene 5 years ago from Okotoks

Great article Luis, a very interesting topic. Sometimes they may work out but often times they just don't; very unfortunate for the one on the losing end of the deal.

I think ordering a groom would be interesting but surely wrong for me, I would want to be able to return him no questions asked; and the returning of the groom part may not work out that easily.


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 5 years ago

This is the second article on mail order brides that I've read in a week. Excuse me while I roll my eyes at the men who marry these women.


LuisEGonzalez profile image

LuisEGonzalez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida Author

Magdelene: Thank you, don't you wish it were that easy?


psychicdog.net profile image

psychicdog.net 5 years ago

Luis it would be a bit hard to fit some of these women into an envelop or parcel!LOL I was wondering - is there mail order husbands too?


LuisEGonzalez profile image

LuisEGonzalez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida Author

psychicdog.net: Thanks btw you can check this just for kicks: http://mailorderhusbands.net/order/


Credence2 profile image

Credence2 5 years ago from Florida (Space Coast)

You have captured my attention with this stunning photography, Luis. But,as the notorious gangster, Dutch Schultz, once said, "people are dumb'. People going into these relationships with all the ulterior motives at the outset are looking for trouble. We guys often get 'hard up' and leave our common sense on the shelf on the way out. Most thought provoking, thanks Cred2


LuisEGonzalez profile image

LuisEGonzalez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida Author

Credence2: Thank you and you're right in your assessment


JIN1128 profile image

JIN1128 5 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

If I were a man, I would never want to get one of those mail order bride from a third world country.


LuisEGonzalez profile image

LuisEGonzalez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida Author

jin1128: Thank you, neither would I


KBEvolve profile image

KBEvolve 5 years ago from United States

I'm surprised that this still goes on.


LuisEGonzalez profile image

LuisEGonzalez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida Author

KBEVove; Its more prevalent than before


Judge Deborah profile image

Judge Deborah 4 years ago from Fort Myers, Florida

This is an interesting topic. There sure are mail order grooms too. However, people should be careful when considering who to marry whether here at home or elsewhere. Certainly there are some women or men looking for people from some countries to pair with for ulterior motives, but there are many too whose only desire is to find someone who they can marry. It is possible that a woman could be interested in men from a different culture than themselves, just like people prefer imported coffee to the locally grown one. It is a subject of human preferences. When you said "even from countries one would not even consider", did you mean countries that one could not even think of? Love can come from anywhere and it is amazing where one can find that one true love who surpasses them all if only they are careful enough. The word here is 'caution.' The writing is great, thank you.


Motherbynature profile image

Motherbynature 4 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

A great hub. I used to wonder what the groom's motivation is. I mean, what would make a man turn to a catalog?


LuisEGonzalez profile image

LuisEGonzalez 4 years ago from Miami, Florida Author

Motherbynature: Thank you

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